The Man’s Name“Down to earth, Lolita.”Lolita blinked severally. Her eyes settled on Jarrod, who was snapping his fingers at her face. When he saw that her vision was balanced, he tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear.“Can you share your thoughts with me?” he asked with a small smile.She bit her lips, contemplating whether to tell him or not. This was a sensitive topic for Jarrod; she didn’t understand why but it just was. She then dropped the bomb.“Will you at least tell me his name?”Jarrod’s hand dropped from her face. “You didn’t just ask me that, babe.”“Just tell me his name,” she begged. “Tell me anything. Why won’t you say something about him?”“Because it’s unimportant!”“He’s your brother. Jesus, Jarrod, I should be able to know your brother at least.”Jarrod pushed his hair back from his forehead and angled towards the door. “I’m ready to go. If you’re going to keep asking me questions, I’ll just let you drive out to the birthday party on your own.”Lolita scoffed
The Stranger on a London NightLolita’s head was blank. She couldn’t think. Everything seemed to have been blurred out, leaving only her and Hayden.Hayden.She couldn’t get over his name, but she didn’t remember him, either. Whatever he was talking about didn’t register within her. He seemed to have read her face, because then he cocked his head to the side and smiled a little.“You forgot,” he said.She cleared her throat, and then sat down on the round table in front of her. He took a seat out of nowhere and flopped down beside her, staring intently at her.“You did forget,” he pointed out, surprised. “I mean, I’m sure it’s been a couple of years, but you told me you’d never forget.”“What are you even talking about?”“Our night together, Lola.”She scoffed. “What a joke. This is the third time we’re meeting but somehow we’ve spent the night together?”He bit his lips, thinking. “We didn’t exactly spend the night together.”She threw up her hands in exasperation. “We didn’t spend a
The Man behind the NameLolita stared at herself in front of the mirror. It’s been two days after the awful encounter in the birthday party, and she still couldn’t get over it. When she washed her face in the sink, the water dripped into her edges. She paused to study her hair. The roots were getting darker, indicating that the dye was dying off. She wondered if she should book an appointment with the hair stylist again.You weren’t blond when I last saw you.Brownish red.It’s a shame.She shook the thoughts away and looked away from the mirror. She needed to stop thinking about him. Stepping into the shower, she grabbed the coconut shampoo from the top, deciding only to wash her hair and not visit the stylist. There was no use dying the roots of her hair; it would seem as though his preference of what she used to look like influenced her to deny the truth.The phone was ringing when Lolita got out of the shower. She walked naked to her room, her hair wrapped in a towel.“Hello?”Sam
In Light of Mistakes.Dinner dates with Jarrod were usually fun and informative. An unnecessary kind of information, but still. He liked to show her things she'd seen countless times before, liked to teach her every now and then, as though she was too dumb to understand."If you want to get an undercooked steak, you must have the right kind of heat temperature," he said in the middle of cutting his steak. "But of course, you don't need to know that because you won't be cooking."Lolita sipped her wine and looked at him from under her lashes. "Why's that?""Why's what?""Why won't you let me cook?"He laughed. "Baby, that's unnecessary. Your hands are gonna soil and get hard and unattractive. Soft is the new hot, you know?"She sipped her juice again. She didn’t know. Matter of fact, Lolita really didn’t know anything. She was constantly under his shadow and doing whatever he asked. Let go her dreams of cooking and baking as a professional just so she’ll be a princess for him? Sure, wh
VisitorLolita danced to the door, chewing an apple when she swung it open. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but she expected it to be a delivery. Upon seeing a pair of shiny, leather boots, she looked directly into the owner’s face.Hayden.The minute her mind registered that it was him, she stopped chewing. He looked majestic, standing there on the door, just smiling. His lips curved further to the side of his face as he dragged his eyes slowly down her body. Lolita was immediately self-conscious. She felt that something was missing but she couldn’t take her eyes off him for a minute to be sure.“You’re naked,” he drawled.She peered at him. “What?”“You’re naked.”She didn’t register his words just yet. She only looked down reflectively, and even then it took her a few seconds to realize that she was indeed naked. Lolita screamed, then fell back into the house. She ran as fast as her embarrassment could let her back into her room to put on a dress.“Oh my god,” she touched
The beginning of woes.Lolita kept an eye on Hayden while she called Jarrod on the phone. Hopefully he was settled in his hotel room and awake, not sleeping or in business meetings. He was usually in business meetings when she called, but she felt like today would be different. She needed him to come to the phone, to send his brother away."Hey babe," he answered on the third ring. "I'm kinda busy, but I can spare a minute or two. Everything. alright there?""Your brother is here," she announced.It was better to let it all out in the beginning rather than exchanging pleasantries then dropping the bomb later. She imagined that Jarrod was gripping his phone tightly at her announcement."What did you just say?" he asked."I said your brother is here. He showed up this morning and refused to leave. I've tried all I could and my efforts are abortive. Listen, can you speak to him and tell him to leave?""Talk about our love life too," Hayden chimed from the background."Is he the one talki
Do You Want Him?It was the sweet scent of baking and steaming chicken that woke her up. Lolita turned over in bed and stuffed her face into the pillow, hoping to snuff out the scent. When she was finding difficulty in breathing, she turned over in her back and inhaled deeply, allowing the air mixed with spice and chocolate to fill her.Confused, she rubbed her eyes and sat up. Nothing from the kitchen was supposed to reach her, unless the person in there had closed all the air ducts and left the door wide open for the aroma to fill everywhere. It was probably the maid. Lolita had to remind her constantly that the air ducts were exactly what they were—air ducts. She didn’t like that every corner of the house had to smell like bacon just because someone was preparing it.She climbed down from her high queen sized bed, glanced into the full-length mirror to make sure she was still in her night dress—which was a low neck, flimsy little thing—and then walked out of the room and straight
Another VisitorThe banging on the door was just what Lolita needed to bring her back to her senses. For a minute there, she had even considered surrendering herself to her boyfriend’s brother. No, there was no consideration. She hadn’t even thought of it—she went right into it, ready for his consumption like she was his meal.She watched him now, the heaving of his cheat, the sweat that appeared at his brows and the intense way he looked at her. Her legs turned jelly. She would have stood there for ages staring at him, if the banging at the door hadn’t interrupted the mood again.Lolita moved, far away from him and far away from the mood that seemed to sizzle everywhere. She threw the floor open only to find Tessa on the porch with a little traveling bag and a full face of makeup. Her blond hair looked neat and straight, as though she’d just come out of a commercial video.“Tessa?” her eyes roved over her again. “What are you doing here?”Tessa peered closely at her but didn’t make a
The End and the Beginning Lolita sat at the porch of her house, waiting. It had just rained. She liked the dewy grass that sprouted from the ground. She started to touch them, but then drew back. She didn’t want to get her hands dirty. She had been turned into a neat freak by Hayden’s influence. She waited for him now, wondering if he would show up. It was Saturday. They had agreed to visit Samantha’s cemetery together. The last time she’d gone, she had been alone with Izan. All she thought about was him. She worried that her telling him off might have affected his relationship with Samantha. It was a silly excuse, and when he showed up two days later, he made it clear that he didn’t have to see Samantha every single day. A car parked in front of her house. It was him. Lolita refrained from jumping up and running to him like some little girl. He got down from the car and ran his fingers through his hair. It was a sensational habit of his, and he looked incredibly hot while doing it.
Bed of Thorns “I have been thinking about you,” Hayden answered quietly. “Every night, every day, every minute. All I think about is you.” Their eyes locked and held. Lolita bent her head a little forward, intrigued by the soft calm of his voice. “Tell me what you think about.” “Good thoughts. Bad thoughts. Terrible thoughts. All sorts of things about you.” He paused for a minute and reached for a glass of water. “Sometimes imaginations bleed into reality. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not real.” They were wrapped in each other’s world now, the food forgotten. Lolita was lost in his eyes and he was lost in hers. “It’s different for me,” she told him. “I know what’s real and what’s not. I dream.” “What do you dream about?” “At first, it was about Jarrod.” Her voice was surprisingly strong when she mentioned his name. “I tried seeing some doctors, but the dreams would not leave. It went on for six months.” “Yeah? So what did you do next?” “I started to dream about Samanth
Bound The doorbell rang. Lolita was in the bathtub. She blinked, realizing she’d been in the tub for over an hour. The water was cold now. She slowly stepped out of it and reached for a pink robe. Her bathroom was the only clean room in the whole house. It was where she sought her solace, where she slept the most. She went to the front door and opened it, her hand stiffly removing a strand of wet hair from her face. When her vision cleared, she immediately stiffened. Lolita was taken back to a year and several months ago, to the very first time she saw Hayden alone. He was standing at the door then with a small smile on his face, just as he was now. She’d been naked back then, from head to toe. He had pointed it out to her, his eyes laughing while she rushed inside to change. Lolita’s arms circled around her body. She wasn’t naked today. She was wearing a pink robe, so why did she feel intensely embarrassed—like she’d been teleported to the past and history was repeating itself? Sh
The Trials of Lost Love Hayden stood up slowly. They stared at each other for a moment, none of them taking a move. Lolita’s eyes quickly scanned the environment, discovering that Izan was not around. Her eyes went back to him. He looked leaner than before, but still built. He’d grown out his hair; they flowed past his neck and around his shoulders. His face was clean, neat. He looked like a god standing before her, taller than she’d last imagined. He still had that oppressive aura around him, the one that made her fall to her knees for him. Lolita looked at him and all she could see was just Hayden, lost in his own mind. He regarded her as she regarded him, but he still didn’t make a move towards her. She remembered the last time she saw him, in her hospital room. He looked mad back then, as though the earth would stumble over him if she didn’t let him touch her. Lolita didn’t know what to say. The air was calm and awkward at the same time. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, so low that she
Time Heals No Wounds Lolita swirled her coffee around with her spoon. She stared into the cup, lost in the swirls of the deep brown. It had no sugar, no milk, just plain coffee. She still hated coffee, but now it was different. Now she liked the burn and the bitter taste that traveled down her throat. She sipped it slowly, savoring its taste. It reminded of everything that had happened, everything she had lost. Her thoughts scared her the most. Sometimes she lay up in her bed, staring into her ceiling and wondering if Samantha was still out there. Her brother caught her many times lying outside on the dirt, looking up at the sky. “I was waiting for Samantha,” she would say if he asked. “But she won’t come. The skies are starless tonight.” Her family was scared for her, and understandably so. When they tried to take her to meet more psychiatrists and therapists, Lolita had to incessantly beg them that she was fine. They didn’t believe her, of course so she decided to pretend for a
Farewells and Backtracks “I’m sorry,” Hayden responded quietly. “Do you want me to leave? I can leave right now.” “Yes, please.” He stood up on a shaky foot. He walked to the door, then stopped. When he looked back at her, his eyes were shimmery with tears. She’d almost forgotten how beautiful he can be. How stunning and incredibly attractive, even though he looked broken. “It’s three in the morning,” he said to her. “I don’t think it’s safe for me to leave just yet.” “For me or for you?” He was shaken by her answer. Hayden leaned on the door and watched her instead, preferring the space between them instead of just out rightly leaving. Lolita sat up slowly on the bed, her eyes on him. “Is he here?” She asked. His forehead creased at that question. “Who?” “You know who.” Hayden looked down at his feet, but before then she saw shame and fear cross his face. Lolita’s heart spiked again, alerting the machine. She glanced at it in horror, wondering if it was going to alert the b
Dreams Lolita woke up again, this time more refreshing than the others. The oxygen mask was thankfully out of her mouth. Her arm was still stiff, but at least she’d had a nice change of clothes and bandage. Her leg was on a cast above her bed, but the nurse who’d shown up the previous night promised that she’d start physical therapy as soon as possible. Lolita didn’t mind. She really didn’t need her legs; she wanted to remain in this bed for as long as possible, staring at the unstained room. She liked the emptiness it denoted. She felt seen, even if it was by an inanimate object. Her family showed up more frequently than she would have liked. Her mother sometimes slept with her and held her hands. Lolita didn’t like it. It made her hand sweaty and twitchy. She would have loved to draw it away without waking her mother, who would in turn alarm the whole hospital. She just wanted to be left alone. Samantha never showed up. She began to seek her out in her dreams, but they were so
Flowerbeds and Lilies Lolita was reliving her nightmares over and over. It sometimes started out as a fantasy dream, where she was a fairy and she was flying high above the clouds. In the middle of admiring the beautiful nature below, she would then see a large black bird rushing towards her. At first it looked like a crow, but when it grew closer it grew into a larger, terrifying bird. It was ten times bigger than her. It would grab her off the air with its claws, cutting into her arm and abdomen. She would scream in pain and try to break free, only to discover that the claws had materialized into hands, and that it belonged to Hayden, who in turn changed into Jarrod. Every single time, she would try to break free and pull herself from the abyss of pain, but all she encountered was a dull emptiness. There was nothing to pull herself into, no rope to drag her back to the light. All she knew was emptiness; dark and dull. She had begun to grow accustomed to it. Perhaps she would even
Grief and Byes Hayden woke up with a gasp, as though he’d been drowning forever and something just tugged him out from the deep end of the ocean. For a second his vision was blurry and gray. The gleaming white of the room hit him like lightning, immediately hurting his eyes. He winced and closed them back immediately, trying to relax his tense muscles. “He’s awake,” he heard someone murmur in the room. It was Rocky. Hayden reached out a hand, his fingers twisting for comfort and assurance. He needed to know he was alive and not in that bleak, dark blue he’d been in since forever. A cool, large hand touched his, squeezing it assuredly. “It’s not in my job description to coddle you, sir.” Hayden opened his eyes. It was definitely Rocky. He was standing at the side of his bed with a young, charming nurse who was obviously flirting with him. Hayden was too tired to make jest of the situation. Rocky turned to the nurse with a smile, signaling her that it was okay for her to leave. Whe