Morning sickness was a bitch, and a bitch who was making herself comfortable at that.
I was rather happy with the decision to tell my family so early on, because since the first time I had noticed morning sickness, it hadn’t stopped. Every morning I woke up, made breakfast for Clara and myself, threw up whatever small thing I had dared to eat, and walked Clara
God, I was tired.I knew that fatigue was a part of the symptoms I could be experiencing this week, Robert sent me week-by-week updates via text in case I couldn’t notice how miserable I was myself, but I didn’t think it would hit me this hard. I had felt similarly tired when I worked two jobs and attended high school. Except now all I did was take care of Clar
I opened the door before I realised that I could have just pretended not to be home. I didn’t want to believe what I was seeing. It was easier to think that she had forgotten all about us.She was much thinner, her collar bones were poking out underneath her tank top. Her hair was blond, though her roots that came down to her ears betrayed her natural brunette
“Calm down.”“You’re one to talk.”
Though being pregnant with only one child had definitely put a damper on my mood, I did manage to find my mom a good program she could go through. They even offered delayed payments, which meant that I would be able to put her through it as I was building up a nice bank account with Robert’s money.Rehab was difficult, and it was hard to see my mom deteriorate
I did not tell my mom about my fight with Max. When Clara was packing up to go to him I told her that he was a bit busy and wondered if she was okay with just hanging with me for a while. She seemed relieved, only adding to my suspicions that they did not even treat her properly when she was there. This had to be for the best.I was tired of it all. I had to juggle taking
Robert had signed us up for every ultrasound you could possibly get, though the one we had today was what would be the first one for most women. You know, the women who didn’t get pregnant by perfectionist billionaires.I spotted Robert looking at me from the corner of my eye. At first, I just shrugged it off, I was never the centre of Robert’s attention,
It took me a full week to recover to at least a semi-normal state after hearing the baby’s heartbeat. I kept up appearances to everyone around me, I said my professional ‘see you later’ to Robert, I brought Clara to school and my mom to rehab, but on the inside, I was nothing short of a natural disaster.I was getting increasingly more freaked out t
I did what any sane and well-functioning adult would do after going through some upsetting events, I bunkered up and hid myself away from the world.I convinced myself that this was better for me and the baby, I had been worrying about being way too stressed all the time, but even I couldn’t deny that this was just me being a coward. I did not want to face Kiara and
Clara had never been one for lullabies, she preferred bedtime stories even before she could understand what the stories were about. Flynn was the opposite in this. If you spoke to him, he cried, but if you sang to him he would fall asleep.I finished the third Disney song, all three coming straight out of Tangled because I lacked originality, and stayed for a few more moments to watch if he wasn’t actually faking me out and was still awake. Not that I minded whatsoever, I could look at him every minute for the rest of my life and never get bored.His chest rose and fell, his face all scrunched up to deal with whatever dreams he was having. He had taken to Robert’s old crib like it had been his own for years already. He was only a few weeks old and already smart enough to know that he should not fight his father on this. God, this baby is going
“Drive slowly.” Robert warned him. “Or face her wrath.” The driver smiled politely at the joke, probably not realizing how much truth there was in it and that it wasn’t a joke whatsoever. The baby and I were finally both cleared to go home, but that did not mean that I was feeling fine and dandy again. I had a big c-section scar on my lower stomach, one that would surely turn into an ugly scar later on. The doctors had encouraged walking and moving around far quicker than I really wanted to. I could walk out of the hospital myself, but at a slow pace. After placing the baby carrier in the car, Robert helped me sit down. I felt like I was eighty years old with how much help I needed with everything, but Robert never once complained about it. I must have really scared him with the whole ‘my heart stopped beating’ moment in the operation room. He was never
In books and movies, they always depicted unconsciousness as this great dark abyss. Like it was a black hole with me floating around in the middle. I thought it would be similar to being underwater, floating around like I was weightless and free. But as always, the books and movies were wrong. They gave me the false hope that I would receive some sort of tranquil experience in the middle of this chaos. In reality, it felt like I blinked. I remembered looking up at the bright white surgical lights with plenty of doctors by my side. I couldn’t feel anything, even if I did see the occasional blood soaked gauze come by. It didn’t register that that blood was mine. The room was spinning, until I finally heard my final call to let go. I heard the sharp cry of my baby, my first born. I allowed myself to close my eyes. I wasn’t allowed to rest for long. T
Robert POVThe night my child was born happened in heartbeats.The first beat, I was at home. Dalia and I had a fight, even though I knew we shouldn’t have. She was important to me, but my child’s safety was at stake. We both knew it was just weeks of frustration and worry building up and overflowing. Tomorrow I would go back and we would make up again, and I would sit through another day of complaints and silence.I was reading Clara a new book. Dalia had reread the same ones to her a million times, so in her absence I decided to outshine her and buy the young girl some new ones. Tonight she wanted to hear about farm animals going on an adventure, even though she had already heard it last night. I wasn’t in the mood for another argument, so we got to reading.
Sleeping was so difficult. My mind was in turmoil, my body was in constant pain. I could never get comfortable enough to fall asleep and even if I did, one kick from the baby caused sharp pains to wake me right back up again. I thought that was what had happened when I woke up again. I opened my eyes and tried to turn a bit to the right to get comfortable again. That was really all I did these days, slight adjustments in the hope that it would be enough to fall asleep again. I had been in quite a deep sleep for once and I wanted to return to it, but something else was bothering me this time. My mind was half asleep so it took me some time to figure out that I could hear some sort of obnoxious beeping, and then even more time to realize that the beeping wasn’t coming from any of the neighbouring rooms, it was coming from the machine next to me.&nbs
I stared up at the grey ceiling. And then I stared some more. The pain was pounding through my body and it felt like it had been months since I had last been able to rest comfortably. Any movement made it worse, laying still did nothing to fix it. I just wanted it all to be over already, nothing could cheer me up anymore. Robert placed a kiss on my lips, but I wanted to slap him. It was his fault I was in this position anyway. If he hadn’t wanted a baby, then I wouldn’t be pregnant, then I wouldn’t be in this much pain. It was all his fault, not mine. “Doctor Ward is coming this afternoon.” Robert said when I didn’t respond much to his kiss. It had been a few days since Mr Price’s visit and Mahlia had confirmed that the FBI case against Robert
The pain never really went away. Though the doctors reassured us, and with us I mean mostly Robert, that both the baby and I were safe, it still did not make for a very comfortable stay. I was either high as hell on pain meds, or cranky because of the pain. It was very much taking a toll on my psyche, and then being told that I would need to stay here until I gave birth only made everything seem worse. “There is no need really,” I said. “Nothing exciting is happening, and Robert is constantly watching me like a hawk. Honestly, I never even have a moment to myself anymore.” Robert smiled at me and flipped me off, while I heard my brother laugh. In the spirit of our renewed relationship, I figured that I should probably tell him I had been hospitalized. He was luckily not brave enough to ask if he should take care of Clara, because that was really not a decisio
Robert POVThe examination room was more spacious than I had expected it to be. It clearly was designed for a pregnant mother who needed to bring her child along, as it featured both a bed with stirrups and a small play area for the child. The doctor’s chair was now occupied by a woman with light blonde hair and a windbreaker jacket that read ‘Child Services’, while Clara was in the play area, but touching nothing. Her head snapped to the door when I walked in. Her big eyes welled up with tears and she got up from the floor. She didn’t dare run to me, as she would run to Dalia. Instead, she hesitated, waiting for me to make the first move. I got down on my knees and opened my arms for her. She realized it was okay and ran to me. She was clearly in hysterics, her eyes were red from crying and rubbing her eyes so often and her hair was half in a ponytail, half like she had been in a tropical hurricane. She only cried more when she hugged me. I
My mind was broken into a thousand pieces. I could usually be calm and collected in the face of stress but now I can barely will my legs to move. “The driver will be here in five minutes.” Steph said to me. “Too late,” I responded. “I will drive myself.” Steph nodded and turned back to her own desk to continue working from there. I was almost at the end of the hallway when I forced myself to stop and turn back.“Steph?” I said. She looked up from her desk, as calm and professional as ever. “I am leaving you in charge. Dalia is my priority right now.”“Yes sir.” She answered and went right to it while I headed for the elevator. The truth was that even in a building filled with Harvard educated lawyers and the best business people in the world, the only person I would entrust my life’s work to was Steph. She knew how I ran it, she knew my vision for it and most of all: She was fie