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12: Won't You Marry Me, Bill
Last Updated:
2025-02-20 23:23:36
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Mi Amor 13: Patience and Discipline
When I woke up Friday morning, I looked around me. My apartment was darker than usual. My bedroom window faces south, and usually by the time I wake up the room is flooded with light. I yawned, stretched, and looked at the clock. Eight o’clock. I guessed there was something to that old Ben Franklin saying about early to bed and early to rise.Lying there in bed, I wondered if this was what my life would be like with Javier. Going to sleep every night before midnight, waking up to early-morning light and the sense that I had a whole day ahead of me. I tried to go back to sleep, but after a while I gave up and kick-started my day with a phone call to Vlad’s office.No answer. Usually Marina was at her desk by nine. I left her a message, then showered and dressed. By the time Jean-Jacques came over, around eleven, I’d called Vlad’s office again, answered a bunch of e-mails, and paid a batch of bills. I couldn’t help but notice, though, that my personal bank account was dropping down into
Last Updated : 2025-02-20Mi Amor 14: Mi Corazon
I buzzed his apartment from the lobby at seven thirty. “Mi amor?” he said through the speaker. The sound of his voice, even distorted, sent tingles through me.“Si, mi corazón.”“I’ll send the elevator down,” he said, and the door buzzed. I walked through the art deco lobby, looking at all the details I’d missed when we had hustled up to his apartment on Monday night. The terrazzo floor sparkled, the wood moldings shone with polish. It was a lovingly tended space.The elevator door slid open, and Javier was there waiting for me. I fell into his arms, kissing him with a passion I couldn’t conceal. When the elevator landed on his floor, he pulled back from me, laughing. “You missed me,” he said. “Come, let me feed you.”All I wanted to do was drag him into the bedroom, or better yet, strip down and fuck him right there on the fluffy carpet, but I got hold of myself. “Something smells delicious,” I said. “What did you make?”He shrugged. “I didn’t make, I ordered. I hope that’s all right
Last Updated : 2025-02-20Mi Amor 15: Jason’s Bar Mitzvah
Saturday morning I woke and stretched just as Javier was coming out of the bathroom. “It’s early yet, mi amor,” he said. “You can go back to sleep.” He wore a pair of bikini briefs, and his dark hair was still tousled. His body was so handsome: muscular in all the right places, with a light coating of dark hair from his chest down to his waist. My dick stiffened as I watched him cross the room.“No, I can’t,” I said, sitting up. “I have work to do.”“On a Saturday morning?” There was a hint of laughter in his eyes. “You?”“A bar mitzvah. Jean-Jacques and I are the party planners.”The smile turned into full laughter. “I can just imagine the kind of entertainment you have planned.”I said nothing, just stood up and strode into the bathroom, my dick flapping as I walked. By the time I came out and pulled my dirty clothes back on, Javier had coffee going. I was tempted to walk out of the apartment, but caffeine’s siren song drew me into the kitchen.“I’m sorry,” he said, handing me a mug
Last Updated : 2025-02-20Mi Amor 16: A Man with a Truck
One of Jason’s grandmothers fainted in front of the T-shirt operation because the spray paint fumes made her nauseous. I sent Jean-Jacques to scavenge the religious school building for a fan, and helped the old lady to a chair. While I was fanning her, Javier showed up, followed by a pair of his workmen.“You’re my hero,” I said, leading him to the pile of boards.The three of them had the dance floor together in minutes, just in time for the end of Flo’s concert and the return of the guests. I was surprised that Javier didn’t introduce me to his workmen; I wanted at least to tip them. I didn’t think they were doing this for free, and I didn’t want Javier to pay for something that was my business.But I couldn’t worry about it for long. Jean-Jacques dimmed the house lights and turned on the spots, and the DJ welcomed Jason and his crew back to the after-party. After the oohs and aahs had subsided, I went out to the hallway to where Javier and Jean-Jacques were sitting at a folding tab
Last Updated : 2025-02-20Mi Amor 17: The Fashionable Homeless
I didn’t wake up until nearly noon Sunday morning, only to discover that I was alone in bed. Sometime during the night Javier had cleaned me up and bundled away the beach towel. When I wandered into the kitchen, I found a note on my table that read, “Hope you slept well. I am going to church with my mother and then to Sunday dinner with my family.”No indication of whether he would call me, though. What was up with that? “He slunk out of my bedroom like a cockroach,” I complained to Jean-Jacques later that day, when we met at Jerry’s Famous Deli for Sunday brunch, an almost religious ritual for us. Javier might have his church, but we have lox and bagels and chocolate babka.“Honey, you should get down on the ground and worship that man,” Jean-Jacques said. “He saved your ass on Saturday afternoon and then fucked it on Saturday night. What more do you want from a man?”I grumbled and took a swig of my black cherry soda. I hate it when flaws in my logic are pointed out. Jean-Jacques wa
Last Updated : 2025-02-22Mi Amor 18: Working the Room
Javier called me later that night, apologizing for sneaking out. “You were sleeping so peacefully, mi amor,” he said. “I couldn’t wake you.”“I did need the rest.” We flirted, and then I asked, “Hey, you know Vlad Solonenko, don’t you?”“Of course. Why?”I told him about the cryptic e-mail I’d gotten from Vlad and the aborted product launch. “Something just doesn’t sound right,” I said.“Nothing ever sounds right when Vlad is involved. I’d stay away from him, if I were you. I’ve heard some rumors.”Immediately I wondered if any of those had been sexual rumors, or if they’d involved me. “What kind of rumors?”“I don’t like to gossip.”“If I hadn’t just had amazing sex with you, I wouldn’t believe you were gay. What do you mean, you don’t like gossip? It’s like saying you don’t like semen.”Javier yawned. “I have to get to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”I tried to protest, but he disconnected the call.It was nearly ten o’clock, but in South Beach time that’s barely the shank of the
Last Updated : 2025-02-22Mi Amor 19: Rude Awakening
Once in bed, I tossed and turned for a long time, going back and forth between my business problems and my Javier dilemma, but I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke Monday morning to banging on my door. I hadn’t quite recovered from Jason’s bar mitzvah; the shots of Vladi Vodka the night before, coupled with an awful lot of dancing, hadn’t helped. My head was pounding as I pulled on a pair of boxers and stumbled to the door.There was a cute redheaded guy in a business suit standing there. “Adam Beller?” he asked.“That’s me.”“FBI Special Agent Angus Green. We have a warrant to search the premises and confiscate any materials relating to your business with Vladislav Solonenko.”At first, I thought it was a hoax. That Jean-Jacques had hired a stripper to come to my door in the guise of an FBI agent. At any moment I expected the guy to peel his clothes off and start dancing.But sadly, he didn’t. A homely older guy followed him inside, and the two of them pulled on rub
Last Updated : 2025-02-22Mi Amor 20: Big Brother is Watching You
Jean-Jacques and I spent the afternoon figuring out that our business was fucked. We had less than a thousand dollars in our business account, almost no new work on the horizon, and now we were under investigation by the FBI. Talk about a lousy way to start the week. He left for a meeting about a pro bono job he was doing for his mother’s church in Little Haiti, and I donned ear plugs and a sleep mask, and went back to bed.My dreams were restless. Richard and I were in elementary school again; then Javier and I were dancing the hora with Vlad and Agent Green. Javier suggested I apply for asylum in Cuba to avoid the FBI. He said he would build me a house and then take pictures of it.Jean-Jacques announced he was moving to Cape Canaveral to be an astronaut. He promised to take a bottle of Vladi Vodka to the moon with him, along with a DVD of Vlad fucking me.Richard called and woke me at six with his flight arrival time. I walked around my apartment like a zombie, lost without my comp
Last Updated : 2025-02-22
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Mi Amor 35: I'm Your Father
I made arrangements to take the GMAT at a center back in Florida, then started considering business schools. The ones my father had suggested -- Columbia and Harvard -- were givens, though I didn’t have the kind of stellar grades you probably needed. A lot would depend on my scores. I pulled down the application for the University of Miami too as well as a couple of other schools in South Florida.By the time my parents came back from their event, I was prepared. After dinner, my father and I sat down in his study and I showed him the list of schools I was considering.He didn’t say anything about my use of his computer, though I did mention that I had done most of the research online. Score one for Adam.He added and subtracted schools until we had a group we were both happy with. “You’re going to have to do very well on your GMAT if you want to get into Harvard,” he said. “And you’re going to have to make your business sound like a lot more than just a way to spend your time in nigh
Mi Amor 34: Making Plans
At dinner, we didn’t talk about my plans. Instead, I told G-rated stories about my life in Miami and heard about my father’s latest case and the fundraiser my mother was organizing for the local library. I waited until I was up in my room, surrounded by swim team trophies and posters of 1990s bands, to call Javier’s cell.I worried that he’d shift me directly to voice mail, that his confrontation with his parents had been too explosive. But he picked up on the first ring, though his voice was missing some of its purr. “Adam,” he said, and I noticed he hadn’t called me mi amor.“How are you?” I asked.“I’ve been better.”“I’m sorry about what happened last night. But you had to know you couldn’t have a life and keep it secret at the same time.”“Adam, I’m not like you. I don’t come from your world.”I wasn’t going to get into that. Instead I talked about being home, that my parents weren’t happy about the Vlad situation.“You should have known better,” Javier said.“Look, I’m getting e
Mi Amor 33: Time to Grow Up
“Your mother and I aren’t comfortable with the track your career is taking,” he continued. I knew it wouldn’t do any good to protest, so I kept my mouth shut. “It’s time you stopped fooling around in Miami and made some sense out of your life. By the time I was your age, I was clerking for the chief justice of the Supreme Court of New Jersey. At your age, your grandfather had started his own law practice. And your great-grandfather, well, he came to this country with nothing, started shoveling horseshit, and ended up selling hay and feed to the top racetracks in the country.”Horseshit was one of my father’s favorite words, though usually it was used to denote how little he thought of something Richard or I said. “Your mother and I can’t sit back any longer and watch you waste your time. You need to train that intelligence of yours in the best way you can. It’s time you grew up and got yourself to law school.”My first reaction was horseshit. I am my father’s son, after all. But I did
Mi Amor 32: Home Again
The drive out to Summit was quick, mostly on route 78, and soon I was motoring through the tree-lined streets of my childhood. They were just coming into leaf, and daffodils and crocuses sprouted in the manicured yards on our street. It was sunny and crisp, and I remembered how much I loved the springtime, which we get for about a week or two in Florida.I kept the key to my parents’ house on a stuffed-monkey key chain from a Kipling bag, and as I drew it from my pocket, my mother opened the front door. We gushed and hugged, and she led me inside.My mother is a brunette, though her hair is starting to streak with silver, and she refuses to dye it. Richard takes after her, while I look more like my father. I was okay with that; he was a damn handsome man, and I wouldn’t mind looking that good when I get to fifty. “Your father’s at the club,” my mother said. “He’ll be back soon. In the meantime, you and I can have a chat.”Here it comes, I thought. Good cop, bad cop. The standard paren
Mi Amor 31: Flying and Flirting
I got to the Miami airport with plenty of time to spare before my flight, but by the time I had made it through the serpentine security line, I had to hurry to the gate. The best Margaret had been able to do was a middle seat at the back of the plane; my fellow passengers were returning snowbirds, partying college kids celebrating the last few hours of spring break, and a sprinkling of business types on their way to early meetings in the city the next day.It was an uncomfortable couple of hours, scrunched into the narrow seat, listening to people having fun all around me. I couldn’t concentrate on the mystery novel I had brought, about a gay detective in Honolulu, and I refused to think about Javier and worry about how things were going with his parents. I had my own family issues to deal with.The man in the window seat was a Sikh, with dark skin and a red turban. “You are going back to college from spring break?” he asked me.“You’re flattering me. I graduated from college a few ye
Mi Amor 30: Seeing Stars
The Estrella del Mar was a three-story block of a building, with only the vaguest art deco details. A chain-link fence surrounded it, and a Dumpster took up much of the small front yard. A big sign proclaimed it was under renovation by Marisco Construction.Javier was lounging against the fence when I walked up to the building. He took my hand and pulled me toward him for a hug. “I’m glad to see you.”It felt so good to be in his arms. The tension of planning the show, and worrying about my father’s summons, drained out of me. “Mmm,” I said, nuzzling his cheek. “I missed you tonight.”He pulled back. “I want to show you what I’ve been working on.” He took my hand and opened the gate into the yard, then pulled it closed and slipped the padlock. “You have to be careful, mi amor,” he said, shining a flashlight ahead of us.The front door was gone, and we walked directly into the small lobby. “Four apartments on this level,” Javier said, shining the light from room to room. “And four on t
Mi Amor 29: Big Rod
That night, back at the theater, I was nervous, and not just about the Vlad situation, the FBI situation, or whether or not I would break up with Javier. We’d nearly sold out the theater, and I hoped that the acts wouldn’t disappoint. Jean-Jacques and I hadn’t seen them all together; all we’d done was go over the order with them before the show, making sure they were all there and had all their props.Iona Trailer opened the show, dressed as Ginger Rogers, and sang “We’re in the Money,” against a video background of spinning coins and bills. Of course that made me think of Vlad, and that box of cash in the storage locker. What was he thinking of, hiding that money and not telling me? Of course, if he’d said something, I would have freaked out.I was so preoccupied with thinking about Vlad that I missed the stand-up comic’s act, and only realized when the two acrobats came on and the audience got quiet. Seeing them reminded me of Javier, and I wondered if we would ever have mind-blowin
Mi Amor 28: Chat with Dad
Friday morning my phone rang at nine a.m. Of course it woke me; I hadn’t gotten to bed the night before until almost three, worrying and obsessing over my relationship with Javier. “Hello?” I mumbled.“I spoke with your mother last night,” my father said. “I think it’s time you and I had a chat about your future.”I sat bolt upright in bed. “Morning, Dad. Jean-Jacques and I checked our credit reports to be sure Vlad didn’t open any accounts in our name. We can’t think of anything else that might get us in trouble.”Lots of people believe that gay men have passive fathers and over-attentive mothers. There’s some theory that the lack of a strong male influence leads a guy to want that in a lover. And maybe for some guys it’s true. But in my case, there was no doubt my father was in charge.My great-grandfather was the oldest son of a minor count in rural Poland. The family lands were confiscated in the wake of World War I, so he emigrated to north Jersey, where he worked as a stable han
Mi Amor 27: Headache
I told that to Richard. “You’re giving me a headache,” he said. “I’ll have to talk to dad about this. I’ll call you back.”Jean-Jacques and I stopped at the office and told the clerk we weren’t going to renew the lease on the unit, and that we’d emptied it out. The VW wasn’t meant for transporting lots of crap, and I already had my computer equipment in the trunk. We piled the backseat with the bags we were donating, and I drove Jean-Jacques over to his place to drop them off. He said he was going to see his mother over the weekend and would deliver them to the thrift shop on his way.We’d just finished unloading the bags when my father called. “You have no knowledge of that money. You don’t know where it came from. Do you understand?”“Do I tell the FBI that Vlad gave me the lock?” I asked.“If they ask you directly. Don’t volunteer any information.”“How bad is this, Dad?”“Do you have any more secrets?”“Dad. This wasn’t a secret, it was ignorance.”“You’ve been ignorant of a lot o
