Chapter 3

Months later

Amanda's POV

Opening my eyes wide open, I watched as Alpha Xander got ready to go out, I had slept a little bit too long after having sex with him. He had put me on a strict diet and had scheduled something I would say is a sex pattern to ensure that I would get pregnant. I didn't exactly like it since it made me feel like something was wrong with me, after all, it had only been some months since I got here.

 “ How long do you plan on staring at me?” He said calmly without looking back, over his shoulders to talk to me.

 “ I-I’m sorry,” I stuttered an apology. My face turned red and I was glad that I hadn't sat up yet, maybe he would have seen the bashful look on my face.

“ Anyway, I want you to rest properly tonight. You didn't seem like you were in the best shape last night,” he remarked. Of course I wasn't, my body was sore and numb from having multiple rounds of sex in just one night. What I just needed was a break from all this lovemaking.

“ I'm doing everything within my power to,” I muttered under my breath. With the number of times I was to spread my legs open for him in a week, it was enough to make me sick.

 “ Your mom's condition,”

“ What happened to her?” My eyes widened as I clutched the blanket tight in anxiety.

 “ She's doing well. The surgery was successful this time and I'm sure she won't have any form of issues again, after all, I got the best doctors to look after ur mom,” he added like he was reminding me to do my duty.

“ Thank you,” I mumbled.

“ I'll be back home early today,” he informed me before stepping out. I wanted to say more to him but I couldn't. I knew it was against the rules but I couldn't help the attraction I felt towards him and my mate bond was responsible for this.

“ Ma'am, here, have this, ” A maid walked in with a tray in her hands after knocking.

        “ Uhh, thank you but I didn't ask for this,” I looked at her in confusion as I sat down properly on the bed.

        “ You didn't but Alpha Xander said to give you this to drink,” she smiled. I hated tonics but just thinking about the fact that he arranged for them made my cheeks turn red. He really knew my body was tired.

“ I'll drink it, thank you,” I smiled at her as she placed it on the bedside table since I wanted to have a shower first. I think what I felt for him was more than just any mate bond, I loved him.

I walked downstairs after a shower to the living room, thinking about my feelings for Alpha Xander. I wasn't sure if I should tell him given how cold-hearted he is and besides, he had clearly stated that during the term of my contract, there should be absolutely no love or attachment formed but I had broken the rule already. At this rate, I was going to run mad just thinking of how I would hold in my feelings.

“ Ma'am,” butler Lee brought me out of my daydreaming.

“ Huh? Yes,” I responded.

“ I think your mom has been trying to call your line so she called the house line instead,” he informed. “ Oh, here, she's calling again,” he handed over the landline to me. 

“ Mom?” I suddenly tensed up as I called out her name.

“ Amanda, where have you been?” She sounded nearly like her usual self before the heart failure. I couldn't tell her where I was and what I did to pay her bills, at least not now.

“ Don't worry about me, I just went out of the city to look for some money for your treatment, that's all,” it wasn't a total lie, technically. “ I'll be back soon enough,” I bit my lower lips, that bit I lied about.

I eventually found a way to evade any questions that would make me tell her the truth. She needed to fully recover before I could say anything. I let out a sigh once the call had ended.

“ Do you want to join us to bake?” Madam Louise approached me with a smile on her face. She knew that my mood was a bit sour and that nothing a little cooking couldn't do.

“ Yes,” I got up to my feet.

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     We ended up cooking more than what we bargained for and it was majorly my fault since I wouldn't stop. I needed to get my mind off the fact that I had lied to my mom and how my heart kept yearning for Alpha Xander. My head began to ache.

          “ You don't have to continue, Amanda. I think we've done more than enough,” Madam Louise tried to stop me.

          “ But I really want to make more,” I pleaded. “ I just feel like it,” I added. I carried a pan of cupcakes to the dining room and arranged them on a stand.

           “ Honey, you shouldn't be working yourself this much,” she followed me behind, letting out a sigh.

        “ I'll be fine,” I said walking back to the kitchen to get more. “ Before I came here, I used to work multiple shifts and it never once...” I clutched onto my head in pain.

         “ Are you alright?” Madam Louise rushed towards me and just before she got to where I stood, my vision blurred and my feet gave way as I landed on the floor but she caught me.

“ Someone call the doctor!” She panicked as she shook me trying to keep me awake but my body was too weak to keep awake.

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My eyes peered open, meeting the dazzling white ceiling. Where was I? My head still hurts, I wasn't even sure if I ended up hitting my head or not.

“ Ms. Amanda, how are you feeling?” A doctor asked me. 

“ Where am I? What happened to me?” I said sitting up, madam Louise helped me. I hadn't known before now that she too was here.

“ You were rushed to the hospital after you fainted but everything is alright,” he guaranteed.

“ So what exactly is wrong with me?”

“ You're pregnant, ma'am,” he announced. “ Congratulations,” he gave a warm smile. I blinked my eyes rapidly, not sure if I had heard him clearly.

“ W-what?”

“ Amanda, honey!” Madam Louise covered her mouth with her palm in excitement. “ You're pregnant. You're finally pregnant, Alpha Xander would be more than happy to hear the news,” she clasped my hands in hers.

“ I-I can't believe this,” I placed my hand against my stomach. I knew I would get pregnant eventually but I never prepared myself for the mixed feelings that came with it.

“ Also, we ran an ultrasound on you and it turns out that it's going to be a multiple birth,” he smiled warmly.

“ How many children is she carrying?” Ms. Louise inquired.

“ Three actually,” my eyes widened at his words as he gave me the photo from the ultrasound. I wasn't sure how to react anymore, so I began to cry. Maybe because I was overjoyed, or felt like there was hope or it could have been my hormones playing tricks on me.

“ I think I'll leave you two alone but she can leave anytime soon,” the doctor said before leaving us alone.

 “ I know how it must feel to be pregnant,” she rubbed my tears off.

“ I want to be the one to tell Alpha Xander,” I sniffled. “ Do you think he would love me now? Or at least, is there hope that he will love me?” I didn't know why I asked her that.

“ Do you love him?” She looked me in the eye and for a moment we just sat there staring at each other before I finally evaded her gaze, biting my lower lip. I didn't need to say anything else, it was obvious how I felt. “ Maybe. It's not impossible,” her words sort of reassured me, even if there was a slight chance that he would love me, I was willing to try.

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Alpha Xander had come back home early like he promised, it was still early evening. I was in a bit of a dilemma as I wasn't sure how to tell him. Before I knew what was happening, I was standing in front of his room door, with the doctor's report.

“ What was I thinking?” I curse under my breath. I was here without a standing plan, my heart beating as fast as it could.

“ Come in,” Alpha Xander’s domineering voice rang in my head. I hadn't even knocked yet, how did he know that someone was there? I walked in slowly, my eyes meeting his personal assistant as I walked in. They had been discussing something when I interrupted.

 “ H-how...” I knotted my fists in my gown. My mouth refused to say what I had rehearsed the moment I walked in.

“ Your breathing and heartbeat weren't exactly the quietest,” he knew what I wanted to ask. “ Do you have something to tell me?” His piercing eyes terrified me and tears nearly began to form in my eyes.

“ I-I... I...,” I panicked. His aura was intimidating - it was something I was yet to get used to even after staying here for months now.

“ Asher, can you leave us alone?” He looked over to his personal assistant who quickly left us. I didn't know if this was better. “ You can talk freely now,” he urged. If only he realized that I wasn't feeling awkward because of Asher but because of him.

“ I-I’m pregnant,” I said closing my eyes.

“ W-what?” He said getting up to his feet and walking up to me. Only then did I open my eyes.

  “ After I fainted today, I was rushed to the hospital and the doctor said that I was four months pregnant,” his presence compelled me to blab. I handed him the doctor’s report.

“ Oh my gosh,” he pressed his fingers against his temple. I wasn't sure if I had heard him speak so casually before. “ Come here,” he said taking me by the hand and pulling me to the bed. He sat me down while he knelt down in front of me, my heart quickened its pace.

“ I should have been more considerate,” I heard him mutter to himself. “ Maybe that's why you felt weak this morning. Of course, your pregnant body couldn't handle the stress I was putting you through every night. Sorry,” he caressed my chin. Did he just apologize? What was going on? This was so unlike him and if not that I was sure I was awake, I could swear that this was a dream.

“There’s no need to apologize. It's not like you knew,”

“ Will what I did and have been doing have any implications?” He worried. He definitely knew nothing about having a child, not that I knew much either but at least, I was quite aware that sex can't affect pregnancy.

“ No, everything is fine,” I reassured. Placing the document on the bed, he opened them and looking at the ultrasound, he looked back at me confused.

“ It's exactly what you're thinking. Turns out it's not one but three,” I smiled at him and for the first time, I saw his eyes go tender. He held onto my chin with his head tilted perfectly, his soft lips pressed against mine - this was the first time he was kissing me outside of lovemaking.

He held the back of my neck, pulling me closer to his lips as he continued to me - it was soft and sweet and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made me cling on to him. He didn't hesitate to part my lips with his, slipping his tongue gradually and seductively into my mouth. His kiss melted me, the taste of his saliva with a bite of coffee brought about a tingling sensation within me. We kept kissing for about two minutes, sucking and enveloping each other's mouth as we went on.

He finally pulled away and we were both out of breath. I knew he pulled away so it wouldn't lead to us getting soaked in our sweat while tangled up in bed but honestly, I wanted it.

 “ I... I think I have a mate bond with you,” I blurted out avoiding his gaze. “ I also think I might like you a little bit too much,” I said in a low voice unsure of how he would react.

“ I...”

“ I love you, Alpha Xander,” I looked him in the eyes and confessed. I had never been so courageous in my entire life and I'll soon regret it. His once tender eyes went cold like the passionate kiss we just shared meant nothing.

 “ Why do I have to deal with this?” He looked angry, even getting to his feet. I quaked in silence.

“ Didn't I tell you that you should never have feelings for me? Do you think I placed that rule there for fancy?” He snapped.

“ I know it's against the rules to have any attachments or catch feelings but it's not something that can or could be helped,” I explained with teary eyes. He was the one messing with my emotions here, sleeping with me nearly every single day and now kissing me so sincerely. How was I not supposed to catch feelings?

“ Leave my room,” he kicked me out.

“ But...,” I looked at him in utter confusion. Why was he so furious? And what was the feeling I felt when he kissed me? Because I knew it was different, something about the kiss was conveying the wrong emotions to me!

“ I said, get out,” his mood changed like the weather. I can't believe he was chasing me out just because I told him how I felt. I got to my feet.

“ All I did was tell you my feelings because I couldn't hide it anymore, why do you...” I had begun to cry.

“ Do you want me to tell you straight up? Fine then, it won't hurt to say it to your face if that's what will get you back into your senses,” he said, no sort of emotion on his face. “ I, Alpha Xander of Blood bond pack reject you as my mate,” he wasn't joking about it. I felt the mate bond break, a bit like a repulsive force.

“ I can't believe you deluded yourself into thinking that I would love you just because you are carrying my children,” he scoffed. I had made a fool of myself, I should have kept my feelings to myself.

I walked backwards still trying to process everything and unable to handle it anymore, I ran out through the door with tears in my eyes. Maybe he was right, maybe I thought too highly of myself that someone like him would love someone like me.