ALEJANDRA.I hate saying goodbye to my family.I honestly didn’t think I would have to say goodbye so soon and the fact that I have to is really frustrating, but mostly I’m sad. I wanted more time with them—especially with Adeline. I only got to hold her one time.When Dahlia first got pregnant, she told me that she wanted me to stay with her on the weekends to help out at first. I was going to help with changing diapers and midnight feedings to give Dahlia and Alex a break. But now… now all I will have is the occasional picture that Dahlia will send to me and little updates every now and again. It breaks my heart to know that I won’t be there.I don’t understand why we can’t stay the night. My parents’ house is plenty big enough for everybody.Still… I can’t argue with the guys about this in front of my family, so instead I say my goodbyes, going along with what the guys are saying—that we all have a big test tomorrow that we have to be at school for.When we leave, I expect fo
ALEJANDRA.We wake up early on Monday morning to head back to school. I’m sad to be leaving my family behind but also excited to get back to my new normal. I’m mostly dreading going to school. Maybe this week will be different. Maybe I’ll get past the stigma of being the new girl and I will actually be able to make friends. But even if I don’t make friends, at least I have my guys.I’m no stranger to being an outcast. I’ve heard the things people whispered about me as I walked down the hallway at my old school. I remember how people would give me dirty looks. And I remember how those same people would be nice to me if Zaire or Katherine was around. I can’t imagine how horrible high school would’ve been without them protecting me.I’ve always tried not to be too offended by the way people acted. I, of all people, know exactly how hard high school can be. Plus, I’ve learned a lot from the horrible way that people have treated me—I have learned that I never want anybody to feel the wa
ALEJANDRA.On Tuesday there is no school because of the full moon.I’m kind of excited that the full moon is something they celebrate every month. I wasn’t ready to go back to school just yet after what happened on Friday night, so this was a good excuse to have a chill day with my mates.Part of me hates Shifter Academy. I try really hard to push those thoughts away. I don’t want the guys to know how horribly I feel about their school, but I also get the feeling that they know. It seems that they know everything about me.I’m hoping that things get better—I really want to make friends and I really want to like it here. Even if I don’t make friends, I hope I don’t make enemies. It seems like nobody likes me very much so far, but they hate me because I have four mates. That isn’t something I have control over, so it’s really silly to hate me for it.Since tonight is the full moon, the guys are wanting to see if I can shift into a wolf. I’m a little nervous about it. I don’t know w
ALEJANDRA.My stomach is in knots as I get ready for school on Wednesday. I’m anxious to go to class, anxious to see how people react, and even more anxious to see how my guys react if people are mean to me. I don’t see how any of this is going to end well for me.When I woke up this morning, Puma and Forrest were both asleep in my bed. I love how I’ve come to just expect them to be there. It’s not even surprising anymore. I know they’re there because they want to protect me. Well, it’s more than that. I know they want to be there to be close to me and I want that as well.The guys leave me alone to get ready, but as I am fixing my hair, there is a knock on my door.“Come in,” I yell from the bathroom. I peek out the door and watch Phoenix walk in.Phoenix is… beautiful. I can see why my sister had a crush on him. Maybe it’s his dark brown eyes or his hair that isn’t long enough to be considered hipster, but it’s getting there. All he needs is a beanie, a coffee shop, and slam po
ALEJANDRA.School is just as bad as I thought it would be.Well, that’s not exactly true. Some part of me thought it would be worse. I thought maybe people would call me names or that they would be mean to me, but that isn’t the case. I should’ve known better, though. The guys would never allow that.No, instead, they’re all just staring at me. They’re not talking. They’re just… looking. And because of it, I feel very anxious.The weather is a little cool today, which is not normal for early September. Even the wind is blowing, making me think a storm must be blowing in. For some reason, the weather makes me even more anxious, like something big is about to happen.Forrest, who is standing closest to me as we walk to the dining hall for lunch, squeezes my hand. My guys form a circle around me. After what happened with that Daniel guy, the guys want to make sure nobody else gets close enough to accidentally touch me.Part of me thinks it’s sweet that the guys want to protect me.
ALEJANDRA.After everything that happened today, I still am excited for tonight. I take the time to change out of my school clothes and put on a pretty dress. I even curl my hair.I want to look pretty tonight.Tonight is my first date. And okay… maybe we’re on an island and can’t actually do normal date things, but I don’t care. I still consider this a date and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.I feel like I should be nervous, but I’m not. Yeah, it’s my first date, but my first date is with somebody I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I’m already comfortable around Phoenix. And the thought of him kissing me at the end of the night gives me butterflies in my stomach. I’m excited. I hope he kisses me. If he doesn’t, maybe I’ll be bold enough to kiss him.I push those thoughts away, knowing the guys could be listening to my thoughts right now. I like to think they aren’t always listening, but you never know.I really have to learn how to block them.There is a knoc
ALEJANDRA.It’s time to stop avoiding Margot Westwood. I mean, she’s my aunt.My mom never wanted to give me away. Neither did my aunt. But it was my mother’s dying wish for me to be put somewhere I would be safe. The sacrifices that both my mom and my aunt made… I can never repay those.I want to have a relationship with my aunt. At first, I didn’t think I would because I was so overwhelmed. But it’s because of my aunt that I have the family I do. She put me with the most amazing Mom and Dad. And because of her I have the world’s best siblings. The least I can do it talk to her and try to get some answers. I can talk to her and try to build a relationship with her. I think it’s what my mom would want. I mean, certainly they knew I would end up here eventually, right? Someday I would figure out that I’m not human. Maybe it wouldn’t be until I was in my forties and still looked like somebody in my early twenties. Or maybe I would’ve figured it out on my own especially since I’ve sta
ALEJANDRA.Forrest is quiet as we head back to the house. In fact, he hasn’t even looked at me since we left Margot’s office. I think he’s a little mad that I asked Margot to teach me how to block my thoughts.Blocking my thoughts is surprisingly easy and yet complicated at the same time. I think it’s easier for the guys because they’ve known their whole lives how to block their thoughts. It’s muscle memory for them. For me, I have to actually think about physically blocking my thoughts.Imagine a wall, Margot had told me.A wall?That’s easy.The hard part is keeping the wall up. The second I’m distracted the wall moves. I don’t know if that’s normal, but it’s what happens to me.As soon as we get back to the house, Forrest heads upstairs to his room. I watch his retreating form, wondering if I should say something to him.“What’s wrong with Forrest?” I ask Desmond, who is standing closest to me.Desmond simply shrugs.Boys.I sigh and decide to just ask him myself. I walk