"I'm staying home from work", Nolan announced as I stood over the toilet, trying to hold back the feeling to barf yet again. This early morning, I couldn't keep anything in, everything just wanted to be free, in the form of throw-up.
It was two days before Nolan's birthday and a little morning sickness wasn't about to stop me from getting his present arranged."Listen I am fine, completely, fine", I said leaning over the toilet seat, as I felt the urge rising yet again."No you're not", his assertiveness rose in his voice. His hands groped my hair, holding it back as the urge rose and rose."What could you have gotten sick from?", he asked totally oblivious to my secret."I have no clue, but your work, it's very important and you should go I'm okay", I reassured him for the second time, because today Caroline was going to bring over color shades that I was going to pick through for the babies room."I promise I'll stay in bed all day", I told him and heHis eyes traveled down to Caroline, and she took her hands away, hoping the palates wouldn't fall."What are you two up too?", he asked slyly as he gave a hug to Caroline and he seemed to have an idea, it wasn't his special outfit."It is absolutely, nothing", I said and he nodded slowly. He gave me a kiss as he slipped out of the door and we slipped in."I have to get a piece of fabric and call it tiny lingerie", I embarrassedly spoke and she burst out laughing."He asked me and I figured what a better way to make him go, but I kept getting sick while we were trying-... it was a long story". She listened clearly and I saw her spread the colors across the brown coffee table."Well we can get you something, small and even smaller, oh", she laughed a bit and I saw the smile on her face brightly."Alec agreed to the terms", I asked and with her smile still reminding she nodded her head, comparing the palates."We didn't leave the apartment yesterday i
His hand grazed my side, letting me know he had come into the bed. His hands lingered as with little force he pulled me to him. I flipped over and stared into his godly eyes. He leaned into me and gave me an everlasting kiss."It's almost your birthday", I whispered into his ear and he laughed, probably surprised I would even remember. I had spent the rest of today, planning and sorting the room into its perfect spot, it was beautiful and I hoped our future child would love it.Nolan on the other hand had spent the whole day avoiding all birthday mentions, discussions, and planning of his birthday.He had been the least excited about his birthday, for some reason I couldn't understand.I knew there was no reason for everything, but surely he had to have liked one part of it.Maybe for the future this would change his idea on birthdays, how great this one surprise was."I guess it is", he said glancing over at the clock. The clock struck 11:50, and he l
I had been banned to my bed, and made to stay put by my watchers. My watchers were the people who knew and essentially helped me move without actually moving. Avery ran around asking me a series of questions, Caroline and Melody were getting the party supplies ready.They had sent out invitations for tonight and surprisingly everyone was able to come later that night. I refused to take credit for this party.I had a burning need to share my news with people, anyone. Which gave me a grand idea as I ordered the food for the party."So I have something to tell you", I said to the man who was taking the order for tonight. Over the phone I heard the silence creep in."Ma'am this is a restaurant", he said bluntly."I know listen I have some news it's been eating me to keep it in, so here it goes. I'm pregnant", I said and I could finally breathe. It's so exhausting to keep a secret when the secret reminds you of it every single second."So happy for yo
Especially Nolan's crib in the corner it blew my mind that we were two people that had come from two different worlds and yet here we are, having a baby together."Just wait and see", I whispered into his ear, as I pulled him through the door."So it's better than expanding the garage?", he asked and I released his hands from mine. My hands were on the scarf, pulling at the sides. I held onto the scarf for one second."Way better". I let the scarf fall to the ground and I felt the relief and the anticipation to see his yearning face.He turned around, and starred into my eyes with a single tear falling from his eye. He held my hand and looked down at the ground, but then he brought his eyes back to mine and looked at me to know if it was true, if the thing we had been wanting all this time, was here."We're having a baby", I said breathless, as I felt his hands swarm me in a hug. His arms wrapped around me and I felt the overwhelming feeling of happiness and
1 month later"As much as you don't like it, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself", I reassured Nolan, which was something I did very regularly, ever since the news of the baby had been let out. I had attempted at going to the office multiple times this week, yet he wouldn't let me.Nolan became an overprotective person, even more than he already was. I was scared he was going to start me on a health cleanse.His newest activity was working from home, he sat by me every morning working from his bed. Every morning. As much as I loved the man, he sure knew how to annoy me, with his constant and persistent meetings that he wouldn't even leave the room for.He had made it his role to watch me, every moment and he had started reading articles and he gave my doctor updates about me every week. He was becoming more worried about this than I was."I know you are", he said tapping away on his laptop, and I rolled my eyes efficiently."I'm going to the
I held his hand, as it squeezed mine profoundly, I wanted to leave and so did he. The doctor shooed the worried mothers out of the room as we waited for the news. I couldn't look at his face, something told me he was disappointed.I didn't want to hear the words I had feared of hearing, I had lost the baby again. I knew Nolan would never say it out loud, but he would be disappointed in me. Disappointed and dissatisfied with the fact that I couldn't produce and create his dream, he wanted a family. And in this moment, I felt like I couldn't give it to him, like my body was against the idea."Do you want the bad news first or the good?", she said softly, studying the scans in front of her eyes. She looked at both Nolan and I's face, he said it for us."Bad news first", he said sternly as he gripped onto my hands, I didn't want to disappoint him. He was my world, my heart and me losing this baby again would be the nightmare that would ruin us. We couldn't survive another
2 months later from last chapter and a very early morning "Nolan", I pushed him a bit as he sleepily moved from his side further away. I pushed his body again and he quickly perked up. His eyes fought to stay awake as he looked directly at me and then looked at the clock. "The babies are awake", I pointed to my stomach as he scooted in closer to try to register what I had just said. He moved in closer as I took his hand and he stopped and got up for a second. His cold hand rested on my stomach through my shirt and I felt the little but visible kicks against his hand. They were there. It was dark, dark as night in the room, but I could tell there was a large smile on his face. We had been through the worlds worst curses and feeling a sign of strength from the twins, or any sign of life from them was the best thing in the world. Feeling it was real, feeling it was something like finally coming to terms with the world around us, and it was beautiful. He pulled
"When the babies are born, I won't have to move or leave right?", she asked, nervously. I knew the life of loneliness and never having a stable home, came with a lifetime of insecurities and issues with trust. I had these same feelings as I got closer to Nolan, wondering about when it was time to leave. "This is your home of course it may be a little busy here when the babies come but that doesn't mean you need to go, we want you here and believe me I will be needing major help, but I couldn't think of anyone better that I would want to have be by my side", she seemed relieved and smiled happily at my words. I knew who had caused these insecurities within her, and it angered me how the marks he had made on her were forever there and wouldn't fade with him being gone."I just thought... I don't know what I was thinking", she said trying to justify her thoughts as I pulled her closer. I nodded my head, letting her know no more words needed to be said. I knew why she couldn'
3 years later I jumped out of my seat, rushing to turn in my 1,000 word essay written in the span of three hours. I slipped it on the professor's desk and held onto my pair of books, rushing out of the school's doors. People rushed and sprinted past me, as I looked down the street for my red ride. Like a proper man Dallas was, he was leaning against the car, reading. It was the last string of our junior classes before we went on a much needed and deserved spring break trip. Dallas and I had been looking forward to spring break, ever since we had planned it. Davina and I had planned a trip, with some of our other friends. Each couple was all going to head down to Greece for the remainder of the week. We both needed a break massively, especially some alone time with just the two of us would be good. I needed just time basking in his gaze and the suns. It sounded heavenly. Especially because Dallas and I were going to drive down to home for two days, right before the trip. I needed to
"Melody Clemente". My principal dearly said as I walked across the stage and shook his hand, I beamed at the person next to him and instead of the handshake that normally would have been given. He hugged me, Nolan had been something of a father figure the past few years. He loved my sister like she was the whole solar system, and he loved me too. He saw me as his own flesh and blood, he cared so much. "I'm so proud of you". He said, his eyes glistening as I opened my own eyes. He held his breath, as he kissed my cheek and I walked across the stage. I smiled as I walked down the stage and took a seat. The hundred roll call of students I had become frequented with passed by, my heart smiling as my friends passed by. The people I had learned to love, to cherish. As soon as it was over, I ran to my family. Each with hugs and bouquets of flowers, each and every single one of them had shown up. Avery had come as well as Caroline and Alison too, and Leah as well, and Vi and her had been t
One year Later Tomorrow was a big day. The end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one, filled with adventures, sadness, and joy. But most importantly that independent feeling of searching for yourself amongst the other millions let out to the world. And it was amusing, satisfying and uplifting to know I was able to take this journey on with my best friend. "Mel". Natalie knocked on the door, then opened it. And as she stared at me in the exceptional white dress I had picked, tears watered down her face. I was going to be let out on my own, no longer hers. But the world's in a way. "You look beautiful". She gushed, my cheeks blushing a maddening red. She wiped the tears from her cheeks as I turned to face the mirror, my own reflection beaming back at me. "Tomorrow's a big day, huh?" She said, her voice rising and soft from the tears. She understood it, the feeling of saying goodbye, letting go. "What if I'm not ready?" I asked her, my voice stumbling on the next words to come
She was smiling, the brightest I had ever seen her smile. As she was surrounded with people who loved her. She was happy, to have freedom, to not feel trapped on a hospital floor.It had been three weeks since we had arrived back, and Dallas and I had thrown her a party. A party for the masses, with her friends from the hospital visiting, even that small sweet boy who she wanted to watch a movie with. She was happy, and healthy and safe and she was responding amazingly to the medicine that she was on.It was weird to say she was okay now, I think even Dallas had no idea what to do with himself. He was completely immersing himself in his new project ever since he's gotten back. Keeping it under the wraps for me I assume, but the mysteries behind him will unveil soon, I'm sure.But I felt at peace, the kinks of our relationship fixed to the most we could try. He and I were like lightning every single day. The most amazing chemistry that lived beneath us.Vi was the
It has been five days, of waiting, of breathing each other's air in the small hospital room we were given. We spent the past five days talking. His mind apologizing for every single misstep he could've made. But the issues lied there, he needed help. He needed help more than anyone else here, signally defined by the fact that he wanted to believe that he didn't have anyone. That he was all alone.That he didn't have a system supporting him, a system looking out for him.I wanted to carry his weight, take on his pain, but he carried so much that it was already a part of him. I don't think he knew how to part with it when it was all over. And it saddened me more than anything. It saddened me that this was his life, filled with pain of all sorts. He was afraid to have a life without it I think."She'll be awake soon". I said, softly, stroking his hair to the side as he laid on my lap."She's supposed to be awake already". He said, sighing as we both stared at
He left the office with a stab in his heart, as I chased after him. He was angry, upset at every negative choice word I could think of to describe him and he hated me."Dallas. Please". I yelled out at as he turned to look at me. His eyes stone cold in anger towards me, my heart beating madly as he ravaged me with a single look, brushing into the very depths of my eyes."You don't get to follow me, you don't get to say my name. You are taking away the one person I've loved the most. The one person. I need her, and you-you don't get that". His tears strung high, his heart maddened like a lion roaring from the depths of his heart. He looked at me with hatred, something in all of these moments we shared he had never truly hated me, not like this, not like this moment."Just leave". He begged, my feet frozen in their very place. My mind lost into his eyes, the stare of hatred not of love. "Just leave". He begged again, his eyes ready to tear me apart, piece after p
The rush of the wind carried us home, well it tried to survive beneath us but the worry crept in as we loaded the plane. Vi stared longingly at the view before we stepped into the plane. Like she was saying goodbye to her heart as she left. Like her heart was being left here.Dallas had the same expression. He didn't know it, but it was written all over his face, the dread of returning. The dread of resurfacing the reality of our lives.He knew what this meant, this idea that everything was about to be gone, the memories, the truth. I think the reality of this hurt Dallas the most."Leaving is the worst part". Dallas said, his arm wrapping around Vi as she looked up at him. She smiled softly, aware of the situation she was in, aware of the world she was in. Aware of the ending to her story."I'm not getting better". She heaved out, her voice breaking, her heart melting. And I finally saw that she was holding all this in, because she didn't believe it would get th
It's a gawdy feeling. A gawdy feeling as my chest tightened staring out of the home's balcony. We were leaving today. Leaving our escape to a reality filled with nothing close to normalcy and I didn't and wouldn't be able to accept the fact that everyone was waiting for Vi to just give up. She didn't have it in her, she had the fight in her and it was apparent, apparently loud."Thinking of something?" A hand snaked around my waist, as I felt his head rest on my shoulder. I didn't know how his head was straight properly, I didn't know how he wasn't a mess, but whatever was working I hoped it continued for him."Just how- beautiful it is". Lie. An apparent lie. I wasn't a fan of forests. The empty nothing, empty nobody. They were amusing, but not what's in them. That's nothing but amusing."It is beautiful". He agreed. His small form of agreement won me over a million reasons why I should pry through his mind."I gave Vi her breathing treatment, but she's r
My stomach stormed aloud, my heart too as I looked down at Dallas from my bedroom window, there he stood with a bag of food and my work for the week. I had enjoyed the company of my personal mail boy more than I should've. I slid down my ladder out of the window as he smiled."I missed you". He said, pushing his hands around me as I looked over at him and he smiled, he moved his head to the side as I pulled myself against him. My lips locked with his as I breathed in his husky scent, the way the words rolled off his tongue."I missed you too." I said, kicking off the other bag he had brought. He moved it to the side as I heard the thud of my favorite thing, of my absolute favorite thing. He saw my curious look as he opened the bag wider and he moved the bag to the side and I saw books more and more books as I toppled over him, hugging him with everything I had in me."Thank you for keeping me from losing my mind". I said, watching as he looked at me with a proud smile