Caroline and back at me.
"Sweetie I think you're pregnant", she said and it finally became clear."I can't be, I puked this morning", I said and when I repeated my words it dawned on me."OH MY GOD I PUKED THIS MORNING", I screamed and I could see the joy marked on everyone's faces. It became suddenly clear, my ankles were the size of watermelons, along with my tender breasts which had also grown and I smelt everything so distinctively and I had been puking."What are you waiting for?", Avery asked as Caroline and her stood by the door. I stood up from my chair and I followed them out the door."What if I am?", I looked at them as we impatiently waited for the elevator to work faster.Most of our friends knew about my miscarriage, my issues with getting pregnant and I could tell everyone would be happy, but what about if I lose the baby or if something happens."Let's not worry, okay", Caroline calmed me as she directed me in the backseat. She cameHis wandering eyes made me nervous, as I stood right next to the spot for the bride to be, and as Leah traipsed down the aisle throwing her flowers, and the music started playing everyone rose in their seats.The in tune melody reminded me of my own wedding, the second one. It was the happiest day of my life, and I couldn't have felt more special.It was just me and him,like it's always been. And here I was back, with my sister, and a baby on the way. Well a baby, no one knew about. The music as it advanced and the large doors opened and I saw Avery walking through the doors. She was beautiful, as Alison and Clay held her opposite arms. I could tell it was obvious that Alison and Clay, were trying to hold back their tears.Her smile was radiant, and I looked to my left, and I saw Tyler holding back his own tears. It was a monumental moment, as the world shifted and all eyes were on them.She walked graciously, with a smile beaded on her face. As she reached the a
Clay and Alison intervened, sweeping in to dance with Tyler and Avery. Tyler was always so reserved about himself but he spoke mountains of feelings about Avery. Tyler recently had told me about his parents, and he explained the story of how Nolan wondered whose grave I would lay by. He understood it more than anyone ever could, because it was something he went through everyday.Soon all the couples were invited on to the floor and Nolan extended his hand with a sweet smile. I grabbed his hand and he guided me to the floor. His hand slipped to the small of my back and I leaned into his comforting embrace."Somethings different", he said hinting at me and I felt his breath against my ear.I hummed to the song as he asked me what was different. And my mind wandered to what was different, the little hopeful bundle of joy, our bundle of joy in my stomach."Weddings, they're just beautiful, makes me think back to ours", I spoke softly in his ear and he smiled softly.
Three days, it had been three days since I had found out, and it looked as if Nolan had no clue. I was too excited to tell him that I knew if he asked me the simple question I would ruin the surprise.Avery and Tyler had been sending us pictures of their honeymoon, and they had me dreaming about the beach and margaritas."Hey, everything will be okay", Caroline tried comforting me, but I was far from the comforting stage. I nervously checked myself into my doctor's appointment, as I waited.She took a seat next to me and slipped her hand inside mine."Are you sure you don't want me to call Nolan?", she asked and I shook my head, waiting for my name to be called.My eyes scanned the wall, trying to find something to distract me, but I failed. The images were of mothers with their kids and too visual representations of vaginas."Tell me something distracting, please", I asked her and she saw my nervousness against the goosebumps pickled on my skin. She re
It was Daniel that had made me so fragile, an illness had overcame me from the torture he forced upon me. It caused me to have an uptick in miscarrying, exactly what had happened last time."I promise no stress", I said, hoping I could take up yoga, to calm my mind as I started my newest, very stressful venture."Nolan, oh if you run into him don't say anything about it he doesn't know yet. I'm surprising him", I told her and she nodded her head, sealing her lips. She gave me my prescription and Caroline and I walked happily out of the office."I am helping you set this surprise up, just tell me what you want from your bed and I'll make it happen", she casually said and now I had two people watching over me and insisting the bed was the safest option."You know me, I can't be told to stay in my bed", I told her and she grinned happily."Listen I know it'll be hard but if you ever want some extra reading and some fun online shopping I have some lists", she sa
"I'm staying home from work", Nolan announced as I stood over the toilet, trying to hold back the feeling to barf yet again. This early morning, I couldn't keep anything in, everything just wanted to be free, in the form of throw-up.It was two days before Nolan's birthday and a little morning sickness wasn't about to stop me from getting his present arranged."Listen I am fine, completely, fine", I said leaning over the toilet seat, as I felt the urge rising yet again."No you're not", his assertiveness rose in his voice. His hands groped my hair, holding it back as the urge rose and rose."What could you have gotten sick from?", he asked totally oblivious to my secret."I have no clue, but your work, it's very important and you should go I'm okay", I reassured him for the second time, because today Caroline was going to bring over color shades that I was going to pick through for the babies room."I promise I'll stay in bed all day", I told him and he
His eyes traveled down to Caroline, and she took her hands away, hoping the palates wouldn't fall."What are you two up too?", he asked slyly as he gave a hug to Caroline and he seemed to have an idea, it wasn't his special outfit."It is absolutely, nothing", I said and he nodded slowly. He gave me a kiss as he slipped out of the door and we slipped in."I have to get a piece of fabric and call it tiny lingerie", I embarrassedly spoke and she burst out laughing."He asked me and I figured what a better way to make him go, but I kept getting sick while we were trying-... it was a long story". She listened clearly and I saw her spread the colors across the brown coffee table."Well we can get you something, small and even smaller, oh", she laughed a bit and I saw the smile on her face brightly."Alec agreed to the terms", I asked and with her smile still reminding she nodded her head, comparing the palates."We didn't leave the apartment yesterday i
His hand grazed my side, letting me know he had come into the bed. His hands lingered as with little force he pulled me to him. I flipped over and stared into his godly eyes. He leaned into me and gave me an everlasting kiss."It's almost your birthday", I whispered into his ear and he laughed, probably surprised I would even remember. I had spent the rest of today, planning and sorting the room into its perfect spot, it was beautiful and I hoped our future child would love it.Nolan on the other hand had spent the whole day avoiding all birthday mentions, discussions, and planning of his birthday.He had been the least excited about his birthday, for some reason I couldn't understand.I knew there was no reason for everything, but surely he had to have liked one part of it.Maybe for the future this would change his idea on birthdays, how great this one surprise was."I guess it is", he said glancing over at the clock. The clock struck 11:50, and he l
I had been banned to my bed, and made to stay put by my watchers. My watchers were the people who knew and essentially helped me move without actually moving. Avery ran around asking me a series of questions, Caroline and Melody were getting the party supplies ready.They had sent out invitations for tonight and surprisingly everyone was able to come later that night. I refused to take credit for this party.I had a burning need to share my news with people, anyone. Which gave me a grand idea as I ordered the food for the party."So I have something to tell you", I said to the man who was taking the order for tonight. Over the phone I heard the silence creep in."Ma'am this is a restaurant", he said bluntly."I know listen I have some news it's been eating me to keep it in, so here it goes. I'm pregnant", I said and I could finally breathe. It's so exhausting to keep a secret when the secret reminds you of it every single second."So happy for yo
3 years later I jumped out of my seat, rushing to turn in my 1,000 word essay written in the span of three hours. I slipped it on the professor's desk and held onto my pair of books, rushing out of the school's doors. People rushed and sprinted past me, as I looked down the street for my red ride. Like a proper man Dallas was, he was leaning against the car, reading. It was the last string of our junior classes before we went on a much needed and deserved spring break trip. Dallas and I had been looking forward to spring break, ever since we had planned it. Davina and I had planned a trip, with some of our other friends. Each couple was all going to head down to Greece for the remainder of the week. We both needed a break massively, especially some alone time with just the two of us would be good. I needed just time basking in his gaze and the suns. It sounded heavenly. Especially because Dallas and I were going to drive down to home for two days, right before the trip. I needed to
"Melody Clemente". My principal dearly said as I walked across the stage and shook his hand, I beamed at the person next to him and instead of the handshake that normally would have been given. He hugged me, Nolan had been something of a father figure the past few years. He loved my sister like she was the whole solar system, and he loved me too. He saw me as his own flesh and blood, he cared so much. "I'm so proud of you". He said, his eyes glistening as I opened my own eyes. He held his breath, as he kissed my cheek and I walked across the stage. I smiled as I walked down the stage and took a seat. The hundred roll call of students I had become frequented with passed by, my heart smiling as my friends passed by. The people I had learned to love, to cherish. As soon as it was over, I ran to my family. Each with hugs and bouquets of flowers, each and every single one of them had shown up. Avery had come as well as Caroline and Alison too, and Leah as well, and Vi and her had been t
One year Later Tomorrow was a big day. The end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one, filled with adventures, sadness, and joy. But most importantly that independent feeling of searching for yourself amongst the other millions let out to the world. And it was amusing, satisfying and uplifting to know I was able to take this journey on with my best friend. "Mel". Natalie knocked on the door, then opened it. And as she stared at me in the exceptional white dress I had picked, tears watered down her face. I was going to be let out on my own, no longer hers. But the world's in a way. "You look beautiful". She gushed, my cheeks blushing a maddening red. She wiped the tears from her cheeks as I turned to face the mirror, my own reflection beaming back at me. "Tomorrow's a big day, huh?" She said, her voice rising and soft from the tears. She understood it, the feeling of saying goodbye, letting go. "What if I'm not ready?" I asked her, my voice stumbling on the next words to come
She was smiling, the brightest I had ever seen her smile. As she was surrounded with people who loved her. She was happy, to have freedom, to not feel trapped on a hospital floor.It had been three weeks since we had arrived back, and Dallas and I had thrown her a party. A party for the masses, with her friends from the hospital visiting, even that small sweet boy who she wanted to watch a movie with. She was happy, and healthy and safe and she was responding amazingly to the medicine that she was on.It was weird to say she was okay now, I think even Dallas had no idea what to do with himself. He was completely immersing himself in his new project ever since he's gotten back. Keeping it under the wraps for me I assume, but the mysteries behind him will unveil soon, I'm sure.But I felt at peace, the kinks of our relationship fixed to the most we could try. He and I were like lightning every single day. The most amazing chemistry that lived beneath us.Vi was the
It has been five days, of waiting, of breathing each other's air in the small hospital room we were given. We spent the past five days talking. His mind apologizing for every single misstep he could've made. But the issues lied there, he needed help. He needed help more than anyone else here, signally defined by the fact that he wanted to believe that he didn't have anyone. That he was all alone.That he didn't have a system supporting him, a system looking out for him.I wanted to carry his weight, take on his pain, but he carried so much that it was already a part of him. I don't think he knew how to part with it when it was all over. And it saddened me more than anything. It saddened me that this was his life, filled with pain of all sorts. He was afraid to have a life without it I think."She'll be awake soon". I said, softly, stroking his hair to the side as he laid on my lap."She's supposed to be awake already". He said, sighing as we both stared at
He left the office with a stab in his heart, as I chased after him. He was angry, upset at every negative choice word I could think of to describe him and he hated me."Dallas. Please". I yelled out at as he turned to look at me. His eyes stone cold in anger towards me, my heart beating madly as he ravaged me with a single look, brushing into the very depths of my eyes."You don't get to follow me, you don't get to say my name. You are taking away the one person I've loved the most. The one person. I need her, and you-you don't get that". His tears strung high, his heart maddened like a lion roaring from the depths of his heart. He looked at me with hatred, something in all of these moments we shared he had never truly hated me, not like this, not like this moment."Just leave". He begged, my feet frozen in their very place. My mind lost into his eyes, the stare of hatred not of love. "Just leave". He begged again, his eyes ready to tear me apart, piece after p
The rush of the wind carried us home, well it tried to survive beneath us but the worry crept in as we loaded the plane. Vi stared longingly at the view before we stepped into the plane. Like she was saying goodbye to her heart as she left. Like her heart was being left here.Dallas had the same expression. He didn't know it, but it was written all over his face, the dread of returning. The dread of resurfacing the reality of our lives.He knew what this meant, this idea that everything was about to be gone, the memories, the truth. I think the reality of this hurt Dallas the most."Leaving is the worst part". Dallas said, his arm wrapping around Vi as she looked up at him. She smiled softly, aware of the situation she was in, aware of the world she was in. Aware of the ending to her story."I'm not getting better". She heaved out, her voice breaking, her heart melting. And I finally saw that she was holding all this in, because she didn't believe it would get th
It's a gawdy feeling. A gawdy feeling as my chest tightened staring out of the home's balcony. We were leaving today. Leaving our escape to a reality filled with nothing close to normalcy and I didn't and wouldn't be able to accept the fact that everyone was waiting for Vi to just give up. She didn't have it in her, she had the fight in her and it was apparent, apparently loud."Thinking of something?" A hand snaked around my waist, as I felt his head rest on my shoulder. I didn't know how his head was straight properly, I didn't know how he wasn't a mess, but whatever was working I hoped it continued for him."Just how- beautiful it is". Lie. An apparent lie. I wasn't a fan of forests. The empty nothing, empty nobody. They were amusing, but not what's in them. That's nothing but amusing."It is beautiful". He agreed. His small form of agreement won me over a million reasons why I should pry through his mind."I gave Vi her breathing treatment, but she's r
My stomach stormed aloud, my heart too as I looked down at Dallas from my bedroom window, there he stood with a bag of food and my work for the week. I had enjoyed the company of my personal mail boy more than I should've. I slid down my ladder out of the window as he smiled."I missed you". He said, pushing his hands around me as I looked over at him and he smiled, he moved his head to the side as I pulled myself against him. My lips locked with his as I breathed in his husky scent, the way the words rolled off his tongue."I missed you too." I said, kicking off the other bag he had brought. He moved it to the side as I heard the thud of my favorite thing, of my absolute favorite thing. He saw my curious look as he opened the bag wider and he moved the bag to the side and I saw books more and more books as I toppled over him, hugging him with everything I had in me."Thank you for keeping me from losing my mind". I said, watching as he looked at me with a proud smile