Nikolai Volkov
“Papa” Kira's excited squeal hits me before I see her. She runs up to me, wrapping her tiny arms around my leg like a vine. It's a habit she's developed recently and one I planned on breaking - eventually. Her small, chubby face beams up at me, and her eyes sparkle with the kind of joy that I've become immune to. I let out a breath, resting my head on her curls. “What are you doing here Kira? You're supposed to be with Lydia” Kira giggles, clearly missing the annoyance in my tone. She's made a habit of escaping her nanny at every little opportunity since we got back from Russia. It was a habit that was becoming increasingly worrisome, considering she was a five-year-old child who thought that every opportunity should be seized to play hide and seek. Shaking her head, she grins up at me, revealing a missing tooth that was still intact when I left this morning. I make a mental note to put a hundred-dollar bill under her pillow tonight because the last thing I need is a curious five-year-old on my trail wondering why the tooth fairy didn't come to visit her as usual. “I snuck away,” she says proudly as if that makes it any better. Lydia has been Kira's nanny since she turned two. She's been an esteemed member of the Volkov staff for almost fifty years and the only person I trusted to handle the bundle of joy currently clinging to my pants. “Is that so?” I ask already moving before Kira can respond. I reach down and scoop up her tiny body effortlessly, setting her on my hip. She wraps her little arms around my neck for support, her cheek resting against my shoulder. She's unusually light and warm and I wonder if she's eaten anything other than the pancakes we had this morning before I left. Kira was a picky eater so it wouldn't be surprising if she hadn't eaten anything since I left. Kira catches sight of Ava beside me, and in that instant, I become acutely aware of the woman beside me. She hadn't said a word since Kira called me Papa. Truth is, I expected her to be surprised when she saw Kira, but the look on her face was nothing short of confusion. She was confused about how the image of the heartless killer she painted in her mind had morphed into one of a loving father instead. Kira tilts her head to the side, accessing Ava's confused features before scrunching up her nose in a similar pattern. “Who is she?” Kira asks, her eyes fixed on Ava. Ava shifts awkwardly beside me. She didn't expect this turn of events. Her brown eyes meet mine, and I expect her to start hurtling questions in my direction the way she did while we were in the car, but instead, she presses her lips together. Words failing her, something I didn't know was possible until now. I glanced down to where her fingers fisted the fabric of her wedding dress, noticing how her knuckles paled under the intensity of her grip. She parts her lips as if to respond to my daughter's question, but the words die on her tongue, and she presses her lips shut once more,e, meeting my gaze. “She’s the person I told you about. Her name is Ava” I explain to Kira, hoping she remembers the conversation we had this morning about me going to go get her a new mother. I don't miss the way Ava's brows shoot up at my words. Showing up with Ava out of the blue would only cause my daughter to ask me questions that I wasn't ready to answer. So, in order to avoid that, before I left, I made sure to explain to her that I was going to return with a potential stepmother for her. “You’re really pretty”, Kira announces her innocent voice startling me. I glance back at my wife, whose face flushes at my daughter's compliment. That we can agree on. I would be lying if I said my wife wasn't attractive. She was beautiful, fucking hypnotic, with curves that begged to be caressed under my fingertips. “Thank you” she responds offering my daughter a faint smile, “You're really pretty too” Kira smiles, “I know. Daddy says I'm the prettiest girl in the universe” I can't help but chuckle at my daughter's words. Whether I told her she was beautiful or not my little girl would undeniably strut the runway in a tiara that said "queen of the world." Pride was something that ran in my family and it sure as hell didn't skip my daughter. “Is your uncle Ivan around?” I ask her, and she shakes her head. Ivan was my second in command and the husband to the only other surviving family member I had other than my daughter. We've known each other since we were kids and he's been my best friend since our fathers decided to send us on our first mission together. She shakes her head “No, ” She says. "He left pretty early today" No doubt. He'd probably freed Alessandro's daughter by now and was probably transporting her back to her father's compound. Kidnapping Isabella was much easier than I expected, mostly because she hardly put up a fight. The Moretti's kept their women off the battlefield. They saw them as a liability rather than the lethal weapons they could be. Isabella was a mafia princess, the third highest rank given their hierarchy and you would think that her father would have the common sense to make sure she of all people should at least have some level of training given that she was more prone to attacks But his misogynistic ass refuses to see the need to train his daughter. Instead, he much rather preferred to leave her protection in the hands of his men. I almost laugh at the memory of Alessandro's men scampering away once I pulled out my gun. You would think that a man as powerful as Antonio would know better than to trust the safety of his most precious daughter in the hands of men that couldn't even stand the thought of loosing their lives for the one they sought to protect. “Will she be joining us for dinner?” Kira asks, interrupting my thoughts, her gaze still fixed on Ava. Ava blinks up at me, her gaze darting between me and the five-year-old who hadn't torn her gaze away from her since she arrived. "Um.. I... That's" she stammers out, and I wonder where the woman who'd snapped her fingers in my face when I ignored her had disappeared too. “Actually," I begin, stopping her words, "Kira, I think our new friend is really tired. Why don't you go find Lydia while I take her upstairs to her bedroom." I don't wait for her to object before I set her down back on the floor and signal an incoming servant to take her away. A short woman with brown hair walks toward us, a faint smile gracing her lips as she stops infront of Kira. “Yes sir?” “Take her inside” I instruct. She nods and extends a hand towards Kira which my daughter hesitates before taking. It's clear my daughter doesn't want to leave. But I need her gone in order to get Ava adjusted quickly and ready for the next phase of my plan. I watch as the elderly lady leads my daughter to the garden, and once the doors leading outside are closed, I turn my head, facing Ava. “You have a daughter.” She says, surprise twisting her voice. I nod. Biologically Kira wasn't my daughter. She was the daughter of my brother and his wife who died tragically in the fire that was supposed to claim my life. I take a step towards her, watching as the tension in her jaw releases and the space between us evaporate until I'm standing in front of her. “Is that going to be a problem, Ava?” I ask, my voice low and measured. I don't miss the way her body reacts to the sound of her name on my lips. It's the first time I've said her name since we met and the way her body flushes makes me wish I had said it sooner. She lets out a long breath and she unconsciously loosens her grip around the hem of her dress. " I just find it odd that we spent over an hour on the road and you never saw the need to mention her.” I smirk. It would appear she's found her voice again. "Would it have made any difference if I did?" I ask, confused why she is angry. My daughter wasn't a subject I typically brought up in a conversation. It was either you knew about her or you didn't and in the world we lived in, I preferred that only a few people knew about her existence. She opens her mouth, then shuts it, then opens it again but no words come out. I smirk and tilt my head slightly. "That's what I thought," I say, my voice cool as I watched her battle with her unspoken words. Stepping back, I turn away and head inside the house. I don't bother to check if she's following behind me but I feel the heat of her gaze burning a hole through the fabric of the shirt. I stopped and glanced over my shoulder, and sure enough, there she was, staring daggers at me. If looks could kill, the look Ava was currently giving me was enough to send me plummeting to my grave. "Are you coming?" I ask my tone casual but pointed She lets out an exasperated breath before gathering the train of her wedding dresses in one hand and following me inside. The sound of her heels clicking against the hardwood floors echoes through the spacious entryway as we make our way towards the staircase. I paused, gesturing towards the staircase, “After you” She hesitates, glancing at me, a hint of uncertainty in her gaze. When I don't move, she exhales slowly, squares her shoulders and steps forward, her heels clicking against the step. I follow closely behind, my gaze tracing the elegant lines of her silhouette as she moves up each step. My God this woman is beautiful. Pretty with curves that begged for me to worship. Against my will, my eyes drop to her ass, and I force myself to tear my gaze away before I do something reckless. YA tak chertovski oblazhalsya ( I am so fucking screwed) If one kiss from this woman was enough to shatter any ounce of self control I thought I possessed, imagine what tasting her would do. She called me delusional at the alter and maybe she was right because only a delusional person would be wondering what the sound of his enemy's daughter's moans would taste like on his tongue. The plan was simple. Marry her, find out what she knew bout the fire that killed my family and finally, kill her father. This wasn't the plan. Wanting to fuck her was not the plan. Our kiss at the altar had been sparked something within me. A hunger I'd long buried with my family. I knew she was inexperienced with the way she hesitated when my tongue parted her lips back then but that did little to kill my interest in her. If anything it only heightened my need for her. Staying away from her was probably a good idea for my mental sanity but that didn't stop me from wanting to kiss her again. Once we reach the top of the stairs I steer her right, heading down the long halls until we stop in front of the room I intended for her to stay in. “This is your room.” I tell her, pushing the door open. The room is spacious, with two large windows on either side allowing the soft glow from the sunlight to bath the space. Ava stepped inside, her eyes widen as she takes in the luscious design. Her gaze bounces from the queen sized bed to the two windows adjacent of it. It's obvious she's taken an instant liking to the room with the way her eyes roam the space. She moves closer to the bed, her fingers lightly brushes the edge of a pillow, feeling their texture. A large bookcase leans upright against the wall, the spine of each book turned so that she can easily retrieve a book whenever she needed to. From the information I'd gathered on her, Ava was an artist. She thrived in the artistic space be it art done by others in any form or hers. “So soft” she murmurs softly, the sound forcing me to return my gaze to her. Shoving a hand into my pocket I tried to mask my delight in the way her breath hitched as she spoke. “Everything you need should be in here, if not you can press that” I point to the red button on her night stand, and her gaze follows my finger “and someone will be here to attend to you. Is that understood” She makes a soft humming sound, glancing at me briefly. “Take a bath and get ready, dinner will be ready in an hour. Fortunately for you, I won't be around so you'll have to get acquainted with the staff without me.” “Lucky me” she replied dryly before turning around and plopping her ass down on the bed. She doesn't ask where I'll be like I expected her to. Instead, she crosses her legs, leaning back slightly on her palm against the mattress. Her posture is relaxed, yet there's a subtle hint of defiance flickering in her eyes as she looks at me. “Is there anything else you'd like me to do for you, husband?” I shouldn't like the way she says that. Hearing her call me the word husband unravels something in me and the next thing I know I'm stalking towards her. Her breath catches in her throat once I'm in front of her. I bend forward, placing a hand on either side of her, my fingers dipping into the plush mattress beside her, caging her in and I don't miss the flash of surprise that crosses her features at my sudden proximity. “What are you doing?” she whispers peering up at me from beneath her lashes. I could ask myself the same damn question but the answer would still be lost to me. What was I doing? Maybe it was the fact that her smart mouth had finally gotten to me. My gaze fell to her lips, watching the way the supple flesh parted open under the heat of my gaze and it takes every bit of restraint I have left in me not to lean in and reminds myself just how docile she could be under my touch. “Tell me, solnishko” I paused, raising a hand to trace an invisible line with my finger down her cheek. I stop just below her bottom lip, brushing my thumb against the delicate skin. I pretend not to notice the sharp exhale the actions causes her and grab her chin between my thumb and forefinger, lifting her eyes to meet mine. She shivers under my touch and a smug smile graces my lips at her reaction. “Would you do anything I asked like a good little wife?” Her eyes linger on my lips, her gaze flickering with something she desperately wanted to hide. Desire. She wanted me too and the thought was killing her. Something flashes in her gaze and the sight is fucking riveting. “You wish” she spat, her voice dripping with venom but her gaze betrays her, staying rooted on my lips. A slow smirk spread across my face as I let my fingers drop from her chin, the warmth from her skin lingers on my fingertips moments after I break the contact. Her lips remain parted, as if she had expected me to do more. And I almost do. Fuck do I almost give her exactly what she needs. What her body so desperately craved. But I don't. Cursing internally, I take a step back and watch as the heat in her eyes dissolve into surprise and then mortification. “Get some rest, solnishko.” I murmured, my voice low and taunting “And the Next time you ask what I want I’ll make sure you're on your knees begging to find out”Ava I hardly get any sleep throughout the night. Each time my eyes fluttered shut, Nikolai’s face would emerge from the darkness, just inches from mine, the words he said yesterday lingering in the space between our barely touching lips. I had spent the majority of the night reminiscing about the events of my botched birthday turned wedding day trying to make sense of my current situation. Letting out a disgruntled groan, I turn away from the harsh rays of sunlight streaming in from my windows. Everything was so confusing. My entire life had changed. Everything I knew had been ripped out from under my feet and without an anchor, I had come crashing down into a pile of confusion and uncertainty. Nothing about my life felt real anymore. In the last twenty-four hours, I had gone from birthday girl to wife-to-be, and now I was married to a man whom I barely knew anything about and trapped in his house. Could my life get any worse? The low rumble of my stomach forces me out o
Ava The walls of Nikolai's office are cloaked in a deep charcoal that blends seamlessly into the dark wood design, creating an intense atmosphere. The shelves are filled with all kinds of books, new and old, all turned to the spine. The books are arranged in such precise colour coordination that they look a bit too perfect. The space is much bigger than I expected it to be and I'm almost consumed by its vastness. A large mahogany desk stands at the centre of it all, polished to a gleam with neatly stacked papers arranged on each side, and not a single paper document out of place. A sleek black leather chair stands just behind the desk, its high back giving off an air of authority against the soft glow of the crystal chandelier above the room. Nikolai occupies the chair, matte-framed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose as his pen moves frantically over a document, his brows furrowing in concentration. In the last twenty minutes I've been seated opposite this man
Ava "No" The word tumbles out of my mouth in a rapid fit. I shoot out from my chair, instinctively stepping away from him. A wave of disgust trickles up my spine before sinking its claws around my throat. "No?" Nikolai’s voice is deceptively soft, but his eyes flash with a dangerous intensity as he leans back against his desk. You would think he had never heard the word before with the way he was looking at me. "No" I repeat, firmer this time. "I will not help you kill my father. My God, what is wrong with you? I mean, I knew you were insane, but this? This is a whole new level, even for the likes of you." He leans back against his desk, watching me. He remains annoyingly calm, unfazed by my reaction. "Your father isn't the man you think he is.", My brows furrow as I try to read his expression"What's that supposed to mean?" He steps closer and runs a hand along his jaw, "Your father has blood on his hands, Solnishko, Russian blood to be exact." My shoulders stiffen,
Ava. The devil is real. And he is not a little red man with horns and a fork for a tongue. No, he can be beautiful. A fact I think most people forget. Nikolai was the devil in this scenario, and much like the actual devil, he was the ruler of my personal version of hell. He consumes my thoughts as l lay in bed, tangled in the sheets, our conversation from hours ago - if you could consider it that- replay in my mind. My thoughts drift back to his request in his office and I feel a knot tighten in my stomach at the memory. It was already dark outside, the cool glow of the moon slipped in through my window, casting a dim light across my bedroom floor. I had spent the last couple of hours locked up in here, trying to rid myself of the anger that had now turned to confusion that still burned brightly within me. Nikolai was accusing my father of murdering his brother who just so happened to be Kira's biological father. He wanted revenge for the blood my father spilled and he wa
Ava “Interesting” Kat hums to herself the next day when I tell her what happened with Kira. I shoot her a questioning look and arch my left brow, “What's so interesting about it?” We were currently lazing about by the pool which is something you wouldn't expect two adults to be doing on a Monday afternoon. Kat had insisted that a pool day was what we needed to solidify our bond in best friend-in-lawhood - her words, not mine- and I was too much of a people pleaser to refuse and just sort of went with it. “What is so interesting about it is that Kira doesn't just crawl into bed with anyone after having a nightmare. She only prefers it when Nikolai consoles her and the fact that she went to your room after one is just… odd.” I kick my feet against the water as I listen to her. “There was nothing odd about it.” I tell her, “Nikolai wasn't home, and I just so happened to be the only one awake. I'm sure if she knew that you were awake too she would've gone to you and Ivan’s roo
Nikolai “I need a cell new phone” Ava announces on a sunny afternoon, three days after our last encounter in my office. She looks down at me, determination filling her gaze as she makes her request. I hadn't expected Ava to willingly enter the same room as me after our last encounter. Yet there she was, standing across from me, the sunlight streaming in from the window casting the perfect glow on her silhouette from just the right angle. To say I was surprised to see her again in my office would be an understatement, to say the least, but then again what is life if not full of unexpected surprises and Ava standing before me, dressed in a little red top that hugged her figure, partnered with a pair of black jeans that accentuated her curves would be the most unexpected surprise of the century. We've barely seen each other since our last encounter, and I had convinced myself she was running away from me or, at the very least, avoiding me. I guess I was wrong on both accounts b
AVA Nikolai’s lips are excruciatingly soft and not at all like what I expected them to feel like. When I tugged him down to my lips earlier I fully intended for the kiss he had requested to be just that. A kiss. I never imagined that this would happen. This wasn’t just a kiss. It was earth-shattering, mind-numbing and nothing at all like the kiss we shared at the altar. Whereas that kiss was for show, this one was to show me who exactly I belonged to. And my God did it show me. The feeling of his lips against mine hits me with such intensity that my first response is to pull away. I bring my hands to his chest, fully intending to do just that, but when he nips at my bottom lip and then swipes his tongue against the sting to soothe the ache, lust fills my veins, flashing through me like hot bolts of lightning. Nikolai grasped my throat in his hand, holding me firmly against his body as he devoured my mouth with one stroke of his tongue at a time. Tingles spread across my skin
Ava True to his words, Ivan arrives at my door thirty minutes before dinner, holding a sleek, brand-new model of the latest smartphone in his hands. He hands the device over to me and I take it, examining the shiny black surface. “It’s brand new,” Ivan explains when he notices my hesitation. “They were able to transfer some of your data into it, so I’m pretty sure you have some of your contacts in there. You might even find a few old messages. But unfortunately, they weren’t able to retrieve your phone number since your phone isn’t accessible anymore,” He says, voice light, but I could sense a hint of seriousness behind his words. I nod and press the power button, watching as the device comes to life in my hand. The familiar logo glows on the screen, accompanied by the familiar welcome tune. Relief floods through me as the home screen displays, and I tap on the contacts icon where- sure enough, the majority of my contacts are still there. I scroll through the names, watching t
AvaThe Uber rolls to a stop in front of a barely standing building. The middle-aged driver glances at me through the rearview mirror, his brows pinching together. I ignore the look he gives me and shove a few bills into his hand before stepping out.The address Aaron sends me leads me to the industrial side of Chicago, where rusting metal fences and abandoned buildings line the quiet streets. Why the hell did he want to meet up in a place like this? The moment I shut the door, the Uber peels away, the roar of the engine fading into the distance, leaving me with nothing but a puff of engine smoke and dust.Coming to an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere simply because my brother preferred it over coffee in a cafe like normal people should certainly count as my top ten biggest mistakes.My gaze scans the area, and so far, it seems safe and normal.Slipping away from Benjamin had proven difficult. I'd asked him to stop at a random art store, claiming I needed to get some art
AvaMy phone buzzes in my pants as soon as I step out of my art history test on Wednesday. I reach for it, my pulse thrumming when I see the unknown number flashing across the screen. I hesitate for only a second before answering, my hand fisting the phone tightly."Hello?" "How are you, Ava?"That voice. I knew that voice. I grew up with that voice."Aaron?""The one and only"It's meant to come off as playful but there's a restrained edge to it. He sounds tired somehow and nothing like the boy I grew up with.Whereas that voice was lighter and always playful, this voice sounded older, wearier—like life had taken its toll on him in ways I would never understand.Why was he calling me? Now of all times. He abandoned me and now he's calling me like everything is just peachy between us when it's not. He knows it's not.I open my mouth to tell him he's an asshole for ignoring me for months and then trying to joke it off like nothing happene
Ava"I want to show you something," Nikolai tells me when I step into the house after a very long day of classes. I'm tired and my feet ache from shuffling between one lecture hall to the other in hopes of learning something relating to the path I chose to walk in life but am now violently cursing myself from doing.Kira throws me a toothy grin from over her shoulder as she's escorted back to her room by Lydia, her nanny, a grey-haired Russian woman with manners as stiff as a stick. She smiles at me politely as she ushers the little girl who'd tumbled into my legs the moment she saw me walk through the door, her tiny fists clutching the fabric of my skirt tightly like she couldn't let go.It took a while for her to notice me when I first came in, but when she did, she smiled at me so brightly from her father's lap that my heart stopped right there in my chest. Is this what it feels like to be missed?I lift a brow at Nikolai clearly confused at what he needs to show me. Today he's dr
Ava"You look different"Cara announces when we meet up later at one of the cafés around campus. The place is buzzing with students even though it's a Saturday and the campus is less crowded than usual.I glance up from the heart shaped design on my latte, shooting her a puzzled look."Different how?"She shrugs, "Just different"That's strange. I hadn't done anything peculiar to up my style this morning. My hair was in a loose ponytail and the dress I wore to the studio today was less than flattering on my figure. It had to be since I knew that it'd be coated in paint whenever I decided to leave the studio today. Which was thirty minutes ago when Cara called to ask if I was free for lattes.Cara tilts her head, deliberately trailing her gaze up and down my body. She looks at me the way a scientist would look at an equation they can't solve, stern and focused and I try not to let it unnerve me more than it already does.I lift the latte to my lips, taking a sip. The heavy creamy textu
Ava."Are you going to the studio?" Nikolai asks me once I sling my backpack over my shoulder. I'm now fully dressed and trying to ignore the lingering heat on my skin from what happened barely thirty minutes ago between us. After running me a bath, Nikolai asked to join me to which I declined with a firm no. When he realised there was no shaking my conviction, he reluctantly left the bathroom with a small pout, eventually giving me the space I required to clean up.After my bath, he hopped into the bathroom while I got dressed. Since it was a Saturday, I didn't have any classes today, but the deadline for my art project was drawing fast, and I was still a thousand steps away from starting it, not to talk of finishing it. I had to be having some type of artistic block. I mean, what else would you call me just staring at my canvas for three solid hours before deciding that the line I sketched wasn't straight enough and redoing the whole thing.I've been going to the studio every day
AvaI wake up to the feeling of my husband's lips dotting wet kisses across my cheeks, down the column of my neck to the base of my throat and then lower.I stir in the bed, my eyes still closed, when I feel his smile against my skin. "I know you're awake, Solnyshko" Nikolai's deep, husky morning voice rumbles against my collarbone, sending goosebumps erupting all over my skin. He sounds so good for someone who just woke up."Open those pretty eyes for me"He drops another kiss on my collarbone, following it with a quick nip. I wince, involuntarily arching towards him. My eyes snap open and I glance down at the head of dark curls brushing lightly against my chest.Nikolai lifts his head, his piercing green eyes colliding with mine. His lips stretch into a slow, lazy smirk as he looks at me, and I can feel the organ in my chest go into partial shock from how gorgeous my husband looks at the moment. A small teasing glint sparks in his eyes when he sees me watching him and my body ten
BearThe new prisoner his father brought was rather chatty, Bear decided after he heard the third knock on the wall on the second day of his exile."Bear?" came the little voice, soft and curious, as always. He'd come to realize that despite himself he actually found her voice rather tolerable. It was a drift from the normal silence that consumed him whenever his father would send him on one of these exiles.He'd grown so used to the silence his father's punishments often left him with that he never thought that he'd appreciate the sound of another person’s voice. Yet here he was, lying against the cold wall, listening to the sound of her timid knocks and hesitant words, almost as if she was afraid he wouldn't answer.And he almost didn't."Bear, I know you're in there. The least you can do is tell me you don't want to speak to me instead of avoiding me"She had him there."Mozhesh' li ty byt' gromche?" he muttered, his voice slightly hoarse.(Can you be any louder)"I knew you were s
NikolaiAva returns with a pack of frozen peas, a thin towel and a change of clothes. She places the things she brought by my side on the bed and returns to her position on her knees. On any other day, the sight of my wife on her knees in front of me would've sent me coming in my pants, but the tightness in her lips, the subtle puffiness around her eyes, mixed with the throbbing pain in my ribs makes it impossible for me to get aroused in this situation."Take off your shirt?" She orders and I bite down on my tongue to keep from making a joke on how eager she was to get me naked. Considering how well she'd taken my last attempt at a joke stopping myself before the words slip out seems like the only wise thing to do.I discard the blood-stained fabric of my shirt to the floor a few feet away from her, wincing as the movement pulls at my ribs. Ava notices. Her fingers pause, hesitation flickering across her features before she schools her expression and reaches for the ice pack."Hold
AvaI spend the next day exploring the halls of the Volkov mansion. The library more than anywhere else and by the time it's evening, strange as it might sound, I'm more than excited to see my husband again Except I don't see him.Because he doesn't return. At first, I thought maybe something might have come up to keep him a day longer, but then, I didn't hear from him for the next two days, which only grooms my worry.My thoughts spiral, raging from, did something happen to him? To, What if he's hurt? And then my personal favourite, Why won't he answer his goddamn phone?I do everything I can to reach him. Calls texts, you name It. I try it all, and each time, I'm met with nothing. It's almost as if he just disappeared.By the time the third day rolls out, it feels like I can't breathe. I can't focus on anything else, and I try, my God, do I try to reach him, but as usual, I'm met with the constant automatic voice, which I've come to grow annoyed with, informing me that the number