AvaI want him.The realization dawns on me as I lie in bed hours later staring at the ceiling of my bedroom like it holds all the answers to the questions running through my mind.The air conditioner hums softly in the far corner of the room, cool air spilling in from its vents. My room isn't hot by any means but yet a single bead of sweat rolls down my temple, a testament to the inferno burning deep inside my chest as the weight of my thoughts bear down on me, too heavy to ignore. After my little self-pep talk in the kitchen, I slipped into my bedroom where I’d been for the last couple of hours.The events of this afternoon with Nikolai in the kitchen still haunt my mind, and as much I wish I could keep myself in check around him, every semblance of self-control I possess goes fluttering out the window the second he spares me a glance.I turn over, clutching the pillow tightly to my chest. It's dark outside, and if I had to guess, it's probably a little after ten. I didn't bother
Nikolai I can't stop thinking about my wife. Her hands on my body, the way her skin flushed with desire when she saw me get on my knees before her in the kitchen. How she looked desperate for my touch. I never considered myself the kind of man who got down on his knees for his lover, but for her, I found myself wanting to worship every inch of her. This need I had burning inside me whenever she was near was maddening. She controls me in ways I'm sure she hasn't even discovered yet. Sure, I've slept with other women, but never in my twenty-nine years on this planet did I ever consider ruining a woman the way I want to ruin my wife. I want to dirty her up, watch her beg, hear her moan my name until she can't take it anymore. I want to break down every wall she has, stripping her bare from the carefully crafted armour she wore around her heart. I need her raw, vulnerable, and craving me the same way I crave her. I spent last night wondering what would've happened if my daughter h
Ava Today's episode of awkward car rides with Ava features Nikolai, my very sexy, very scary-looking husband who, with a single glance, has the ability to unravel me from the inside out. It's been five minutes since we left the house and my body still hums with delight at the memory of his lips pressing against the back of my neck like he only just did it. I'd been shocked, to say the least, when it happened, but immediately, I felt if the brush of his lips against my skin, any resolve I had evaporated into thin air. I steal a glance at him, admiring his sharp jawline and the way his shoulders flex beneath the fabric of his tux. He looks extremely good today and it took everything inside me not to maul him when I saw him standing outside my bedroom. "Are you okay?" I blink once then twice, trying to regain my composure while simultaneously hoping he hadn't noticed me ogling him. Nikolai decided to drive us to Tatiana's wedding. His hands grip the steering wheel with the kind of c
Nikolai I'm unable to pull my gaze away from my wife throughout the entire ceremony whereas she has no trouble avoiding my gaze. Even now, at the reception, she flits around the room like a vision, effortlessly charming everyone she encounters. Everyone loves her, even Tatiana's grandmother which is a rare occurrence. The old hag hardly takes a liking to anyone but she can't seem to not laugh at everything my wife says. To be honest I can't blame her. We're supposed to be doing the charming together but my wife drifted off my arm the moment we stepped into the chapel and hasn't spoken to me since. She's still angry about our conversation in the car, and to be honest, her little avoidance trick is getting old. I miss my wife, and yes, I'll admit, I shouldn't have listened to her that night. I knew it then, and I know it now, but I'd come out from my bedroom hoping to get a glass of water from the kitchen when I heard her. At first, I thought I'd imagined it, but then it happened a
Ava I'm so fucking stupid. Blood pounds in my ears as my encounter with Faina just moments ago replays over and over in my mind like an endless loop. Tonight I was determined to avoid my husband. Stay away. That was the plan. But apparently plans mean nothing when I let my emotions get in the way. Seeing him with Faina had awakened something inside me. It's one thing to know that they both shared something in the past but it's another to see them so close together. Jealousy claws at my chest, sharp and unrelenting like a knife, twisting until I can't breathe. I hate this. I hate that I care when I know I shouldn't. Throughout the ceremony, I pretended not to notice his heavy gaze watching me. It didn't matter how hard I tried to avoid him; I could always feel him watching me, and for some reason, knowing he wasn't too far away made my heart thump faster in my chest in a way that infuriated me. Images of the way Faina looked up at him flashed in my mind. They'd been so close; h
Ava “Fucking finally”, Nikolai growls roughly as he grips my face, angling me towards him. His lips slam against mine, hot and utterly consuming. It takes me a moment to recover from the initial force, but when I do, I turn putty in his arms. He pries my lips apart with his tongue then slides it against mine with one quick flick that sends a shiver down my spine. My hand goes to his waist, gripping the edge of his jacket as I tug him closer. My body moves completely on instinct, shutting down all thoughts and pressing myself against him. Nikolai groans low in his throat and a pang of need twists in my gut. His hand moves to the front, sliding between my breasts with deliberate intent until he finds my neck. His fingers wrap around my throat, squeezing firmly but not too hard to hurt A whimper crawls up my throat and my body shudders in response. Until Nikolai, I never thought that I'd be the kind of girl who enjoyed mild choking or any form of choking for that matter, but there's
Ava I insist on saying goodbye to Tatiana before we leave. As you would expect Nikolai isn't exactly thrilled at my need to be polite but I tell him that it's rude to leave without at least saying goodbye to the bride and groom Tatiana smiles when she sees us approaching, her expression a one of excitement and pleasant surprise. "Ava," She chortles, standing up from her seat beside her new husband and smoothing a hand down the front of her dress. Even after hours of festivities and celebrations, Tatiana still manages to look as beautiful as ever, rocking that radiant glow all brides seem to possess during their wedding. Except you're me of course. While Tatiana had spent the earlier hours of the evening floating effortlessly around the hall with her groom in hand, greeting close family and friends, I spent my time trying to recall the face of one single guest who attended my wedding. I couldn't. Tatiana was surrounded by people she loved on her big day, while I was surrounded by
Ava "Nikolai" I cry out, just as his phone buzzes in the back pocket of his pants. His lips seers a path of burning kisses into my skin, down my neck and my back nearly arches off the door when nips at my collarbone. One of my legs is slung over his hip and my dress is bunched over my waist as he grips the back of my thigh in one hand, his thumb rubbing slow circles against my skin. "Don't stop", I practically beg, tilting my head back against the door and allowing his lips to work my skin. We are both panting and his erection is pressing desperately against the inside of my thigh, seeking friction. Everything about the way he's touching me sets my entire body ablaze, and I'm mildly aware that his jacket is somewhere on the floor, right beside the little dignity I had when I stepped into his house. His hot breath fans my skin as his lips find the sensitive spot just below my ear, sending shivers down my spine. He rolls his pelvis against my clit, and a sigh of pleasure escapes m
AvaThe Uber rolls to a stop in front of a barely standing building. The middle-aged driver glances at me through the rearview mirror, his brows pinching together. I ignore the look he gives me and shove a few bills into his hand before stepping out.The address Aaron sends me leads me to the industrial side of Chicago, where rusting metal fences and abandoned buildings line the quiet streets. Why the hell did he want to meet up in a place like this? The moment I shut the door, the Uber peels away, the roar of the engine fading into the distance, leaving me with nothing but a puff of engine smoke and dust.Coming to an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere simply because my brother preferred it over coffee in a cafe like normal people should certainly count as my top ten biggest mistakes.My gaze scans the area, and so far, it seems safe and normal.Slipping away from Benjamin had proven difficult. I'd asked him to stop at a random art store, claiming I needed to get some art
AvaMy phone buzzes in my pants as soon as I step out of my art history test on Wednesday. I reach for it, my pulse thrumming when I see the unknown number flashing across the screen. I hesitate for only a second before answering, my hand fisting the phone tightly."Hello?" "How are you, Ava?"That voice. I knew that voice. I grew up with that voice."Aaron?""The one and only"It's meant to come off as playful but there's a restrained edge to it. He sounds tired somehow and nothing like the boy I grew up with.Whereas that voice was lighter and always playful, this voice sounded older, wearier—like life had taken its toll on him in ways I would never understand.Why was he calling me? Now of all times. He abandoned me and now he's calling me like everything is just peachy between us when it's not. He knows it's not.I open my mouth to tell him he's an asshole for ignoring me for months and then trying to joke it off like nothing happene
Ava"I want to show you something," Nikolai tells me when I step into the house after a very long day of classes. I'm tired and my feet ache from shuffling between one lecture hall to the other in hopes of learning something relating to the path I chose to walk in life but am now violently cursing myself from doing.Kira throws me a toothy grin from over her shoulder as she's escorted back to her room by Lydia, her nanny, a grey-haired Russian woman with manners as stiff as a stick. She smiles at me politely as she ushers the little girl who'd tumbled into my legs the moment she saw me walk through the door, her tiny fists clutching the fabric of my skirt tightly like she couldn't let go.It took a while for her to notice me when I first came in, but when she did, she smiled at me so brightly from her father's lap that my heart stopped right there in my chest. Is this what it feels like to be missed?I lift a brow at Nikolai clearly confused at what he needs to show me. Today he's dr
Ava"You look different"Cara announces when we meet up later at one of the cafés around campus. The place is buzzing with students even though it's a Saturday and the campus is less crowded than usual.I glance up from the heart shaped design on my latte, shooting her a puzzled look."Different how?"She shrugs, "Just different"That's strange. I hadn't done anything peculiar to up my style this morning. My hair was in a loose ponytail and the dress I wore to the studio today was less than flattering on my figure. It had to be since I knew that it'd be coated in paint whenever I decided to leave the studio today. Which was thirty minutes ago when Cara called to ask if I was free for lattes.Cara tilts her head, deliberately trailing her gaze up and down my body. She looks at me the way a scientist would look at an equation they can't solve, stern and focused and I try not to let it unnerve me more than it already does.I lift the latte to my lips, taking a sip. The heavy creamy textu
Ava."Are you going to the studio?" Nikolai asks me once I sling my backpack over my shoulder. I'm now fully dressed and trying to ignore the lingering heat on my skin from what happened barely thirty minutes ago between us. After running me a bath, Nikolai asked to join me to which I declined with a firm no. When he realised there was no shaking my conviction, he reluctantly left the bathroom with a small pout, eventually giving me the space I required to clean up.After my bath, he hopped into the bathroom while I got dressed. Since it was a Saturday, I didn't have any classes today, but the deadline for my art project was drawing fast, and I was still a thousand steps away from starting it, not to talk of finishing it. I had to be having some type of artistic block. I mean, what else would you call me just staring at my canvas for three solid hours before deciding that the line I sketched wasn't straight enough and redoing the whole thing.I've been going to the studio every day
AvaI wake up to the feeling of my husband's lips dotting wet kisses across my cheeks, down the column of my neck to the base of my throat and then lower.I stir in the bed, my eyes still closed, when I feel his smile against my skin. "I know you're awake, Solnyshko" Nikolai's deep, husky morning voice rumbles against my collarbone, sending goosebumps erupting all over my skin. He sounds so good for someone who just woke up."Open those pretty eyes for me"He drops another kiss on my collarbone, following it with a quick nip. I wince, involuntarily arching towards him. My eyes snap open and I glance down at the head of dark curls brushing lightly against my chest.Nikolai lifts his head, his piercing green eyes colliding with mine. His lips stretch into a slow, lazy smirk as he looks at me, and I can feel the organ in my chest go into partial shock from how gorgeous my husband looks at the moment. A small teasing glint sparks in his eyes when he sees me watching him and my body ten
BearThe new prisoner his father brought was rather chatty, Bear decided after he heard the third knock on the wall on the second day of his exile."Bear?" came the little voice, soft and curious, as always. He'd come to realize that despite himself he actually found her voice rather tolerable. It was a drift from the normal silence that consumed him whenever his father would send him on one of these exiles.He'd grown so used to the silence his father's punishments often left him with that he never thought that he'd appreciate the sound of another person’s voice. Yet here he was, lying against the cold wall, listening to the sound of her timid knocks and hesitant words, almost as if she was afraid he wouldn't answer.And he almost didn't."Bear, I know you're in there. The least you can do is tell me you don't want to speak to me instead of avoiding me"She had him there."Mozhesh' li ty byt' gromche?" he muttered, his voice slightly hoarse.(Can you be any louder)"I knew you were s
NikolaiAva returns with a pack of frozen peas, a thin towel and a change of clothes. She places the things she brought by my side on the bed and returns to her position on her knees. On any other day, the sight of my wife on her knees in front of me would've sent me coming in my pants, but the tightness in her lips, the subtle puffiness around her eyes, mixed with the throbbing pain in my ribs makes it impossible for me to get aroused in this situation."Take off your shirt?" She orders and I bite down on my tongue to keep from making a joke on how eager she was to get me naked. Considering how well she'd taken my last attempt at a joke stopping myself before the words slip out seems like the only wise thing to do.I discard the blood-stained fabric of my shirt to the floor a few feet away from her, wincing as the movement pulls at my ribs. Ava notices. Her fingers pause, hesitation flickering across her features before she schools her expression and reaches for the ice pack."Hold
AvaI spend the next day exploring the halls of the Volkov mansion. The library more than anywhere else and by the time it's evening, strange as it might sound, I'm more than excited to see my husband again Except I don't see him.Because he doesn't return. At first, I thought maybe something might have come up to keep him a day longer, but then, I didn't hear from him for the next two days, which only grooms my worry.My thoughts spiral, raging from, did something happen to him? To, What if he's hurt? And then my personal favourite, Why won't he answer his goddamn phone?I do everything I can to reach him. Calls texts, you name It. I try it all, and each time, I'm met with nothing. It's almost as if he just disappeared.By the time the third day rolls out, it feels like I can't breathe. I can't focus on anything else, and I try, my God, do I try to reach him, but as usual, I'm met with the constant automatic voice, which I've come to grow annoyed with, informing me that the number