Not my type!

Jennifer's POV:

" yes, mom" I answered the phone tiredly while making a sandwich for me .

" Kevin wants to meet you . We went to meet Kayden . Kevin miss you and is sad as you didn't visit Kayden once ." She said.

" Stop saying that. He is not there." I almost screamed at her but composed myself as I heard toilet flush in one of the room.

she didn't say anything for a while . " Where should I drop Kevin ? In your place? Or your book cum coffee shop?" She asked leaving Kayden subject.

" Sorry mom. Drop Kevin in my shop . " I ended the call .

As I turned to look who is the person , Richard sat in the dining table drinking water. I took my sandwich and sat across from him.

" So, what's your girlfriend name?" I actually tried to have a normal conversation.

" Hannah" he said after a while. I am still astonished by the fact that he has a girlfriend.

" Do you really have a girlfriend? Like really? " I asked him again . He nodded and laughed at me as I gave him my flirtatious smile.

" You do know I don't like you. Stop doing it" he replied flatly.

"How long you are living here? Why you didn't bring her even once?" I asked suddenly getting curious about his life.

" Hmm, none of your business. Three and half years" he answered . Again flat tone.

" Why you don't like me? " I asked annoyed and irritated by that.

" Because you're a bitch . Maybe I don't know" he scratches his head a while and concluded" you're not my type."

I am Jennifer Giamatti. I am everybody's type. Even if people don't like me, they certainly lust after me.

" I am everyone's type." I mouthed my words.

" No. You're egoistic, self centered , narcissistic and lonely girl . You think you're cool and keeps sleeping around with guys . But the thing is you are doing it because you doesn't like yourself or feeling like doing it due to your loneliness. " He spoke straight away. He is taking psychology course in university whereas me and Ben are doing management courses so that we can take over family business.

I don't show him that his words hurt me. Though he was somewhat right , he has no right to judge me .

He stand up to walk away but I blocked him . For each step I took, he took one back. Soon his back hit the wall. I pulled him closer and placed my hands on his cheeks. He was taken aback. I can clearly see some sort of thing in his eyes maybe lust . He looks like he's attracted to me. Maybe he's horny but eyes don't lie. I can see the want. To confirm that I kissed his cheek. He was speechless for a moment but then he pushed me away coming back to his senses. He's one of a kind.

" I don't like you, Jennifer" with that he left. I laughed as I entered my room.

***

I decided not to mop around the room for which Ben will certainly give a big lecture than those professors as he has nothing to do since Maria hasn't returned yet. I sighed thinking about it. So ,I sighed while I wake up from my sleep. It's past 3.

I checked my messages. Mom sent me a text with a picture of Kayden gravestone. In loving memory of Kayden Damon Giamatti.

After Kayden's death, I wanted to live away from our house and have some place as my own. My parents agreed and I moved into the apartment I live now. I was interested in setting up the coffee shop . My dad like the idea though mom isn't as she wants me to become model like her. She doesn't disapprove as well. I am not making much money with this, but still it gives me the relief and make me feel better with living the life.

Nicholas Cronje called me. My bestfriend . We all call him Nick. Then there are Cindy and John. They're also my besties. We all are childhood friends. Cindy and John don't mess around unlike me and Nick.

" I am bored . Let's meet up." he said simply. I agreed instantly as Kevin will also visit me here. " See you in seven minutes" with that he hung up on me.

As he said , he came right on time.

" The last thing I remember was kissing Gary who I met at a party but today when I was getting on with that , Gary is not there . It's Dimitri. I moaned Gary's name pissing him off. When we got along again, my two roommates showed up ruining the moment. " I told him everything for which he burst out laughing at me.

" Anyways , my count is now 59" he prided himself. "Mine is only 48. " He smirked . No problem . There is still four more months. I can always catch up.

The thing is both me and Nick had a bet on who gets 100 makeout sessions. The loser has to buy a brand new sports car of winner's choice to the winner.

To be honest, what Richard said was partially correct. I am not whoring out. I am concerned about my body and  only went all the way with Dimitri ,Gary, Steven and Frank. Can't say the same about Nick. I wonder why when a guy does it he's so cool and when a girl does, she's a slut.

Maybe I am lkie everybody else. It's like I am using other's body to fill the loneliness of my heart.

Mr.Dirk Nannes ,my psychologist and I are still figuring out why I am doing the things I did. Maybe it's loneliness .

" Am I egoistic self centered narcissistic girl? Do guys don't like me? " I asked him.

" Who said that? " He asked again and listened patiently until I finished.

" You're not what he said. He doesn't know you. Had he known what you're going through, he wouldn't have said it. Ignore it, dude." He patted my back and left.

**

Kevin came in after the car dropped him left . Mom didn't accompany him.

" Mom has a last minute photoshoot. She said she's sorry for not being here." He explained her absence. Kevin is doing his high school . He was in boarding school at first. But Kayden's death, mom and dad took turns to look after him in our house . So he got shifted to his new school.

" How is school??" I asked him feeling awkward .

" It's nice. I made some friends. " He replied while looking around.

" I miss you ,Jen. Why don't you come and live with us? " He asked me the question I am dreading to answer.

" I can't ,Kevin. It's too much to handle" I replied lowly.

" you're  selfish. We all are sad and still mourning Kayden's death. But you're not even talking about it. You don't come to visit him too. " He said angrily.

" I know. I have my own reason . There are still  lots of memories of Kayden in our house. I don't want to think about it. Just leave it. I will come and live with all of you once I feels like I can face it." I explained calmly keeping my emotions at bay. I don't want to break down infront of him.

Instead of emphasizing with me, he got more angry. He was  not there when everything was going on. He doesn't know how hard it is for me to visit his grave.

" You know, sometimes I wish it would be better if you died instead of him." Hhe said while taking his bag and walked away. I too wish the same all the time. I wish Kayden to be alive instead of me. But that's not going to happen.

I lost him. I lost the one who was there for me. Maybe if I tried more and was more cautious, he would've been alive. Had I not believed him, it wouldn't have happened.