Chapter 6

It was him. It was really him.

Putting on a funny-like shirt.

She drew in a deep breath and placed her hand on the door knob twisting it open.

“surprise.” She let out a squeak as she opened the door.

His looks was replaced with a confused one one seeing her.

He suddenly scoffed.

“i should have known.” He took a glance at the delivery receipt.

“Gracie Riles. I'm stupid.” He muttered. She chuckled lightly.

Maybe he chuckled too... or it was just her imagination.

She took the note pad from him and signed on it giving it back.

“thanks for patronizing Chestnuts Pizzeria.” He said. She chuckled again and took her delivery.

“oh please drop the courtesy.”

“okay... this is ours.” he separated the three receipt slip and took two giving her one. 

“and this... is yours.” she took here receipt from him.

“why dont you come in?” she invited.

“No. I'll pass.” He said. She scoffed.

“huh... after all the praises I gave your company of you, this is how you repay me?

Please come in and help me set the table. It's an order from a customer.” She said playfully. He somewhat gave that his rare smile.

Jeez, that was the second time ever.

*

After setting the table for her, she tipped him but he refused it.

“fine. I'll walk you then.” She said. He hesitantly nodded.

She led the way. OMG.

What was she gonna do with the pizza? She should invite him to eat with her. 

She only ordered it because she was bored and wanted to probably see if he was really a delivery guy.

Or she wanted to see him again.

She led the way until she got to the still opened door.

She had to device a means to stop him from leaving. Maybe they could talk deeper, and she would find out more about him.

She kicked the door hard and almost fell.

But he caught her at once.

she held on to his nape for balance.

While he held her waist with his left hand... and his right hand, on the door for support.

Huh? Why did he have to hold her so hot- ish - ly?

They just stayed that way, and kept staring at each other without a word. 

She was totally lost in his green eyes.

Even if she wanted to stop herself but... She just didn't know what was happening anymore.

He raised her up snapping her back to reality.

“oh... oooh!” she withdrew her hand from his nape at fisted them.

He also withdrew his hand from her waist and tucked them in his pocket.

Jeez! What the heck just happened?

“are you Okay?” he asked. She nodded briefly looking away from him.

She arranged her wig properly so he wouldn’t know it isn’t her real hair.

“Bye then.”

He took a step to go but paused.

“Gracie.” He called. She slowly looked up at him.

“damn, your leg is bleeding.”

*

“are you sure you don’t wanna go to a hospital?” he asked.

“no... no.”  She said a bit scared.

“come on. The bleeding won’t st...” 

“ I said no.” She snapped. Jeez. She didn’t mean to.

He gave her a glare and added more iodine to the cut.

They just couldn’t stop the blood. Damn leukaemia.

“Please stop helping me.

You should just go. I can handle this myself.” She said.

Why did he even care to help her. 

She thought he was giving her attitude earlier? So why being nice now?

The last thing she wanted was for him to find out she was sick if he didn’t aready know.

“but...”

“i said leave!” she said. He gave her a long stare.

“ i cant leave you like this.” he said and took another pack of cotton wool and placed in on her injury.

Huh? Jeez. What does he mean by that?

“it would be so unkind of me to leave you like this as your elder one.” He said.

She just kept staring at him. He was so engrossed in helping her.

Soon the whole wool was stained again. But the wound wouldn’t stop bleeding.

God no!

“this is it, I’m taking you to the hospital.” He said. “Do you have something like a napkin or something” he asked.

Jeez! It was obvious already.

Any same person would figure out that this is not normal.

And even if he doesn’t already know, when he takes her to the hospital, he’d know she is sick.

No... She had to stand her ground. A hospital is the last place she wanna be.

“i said stop.” She yelled and she got up.

“hey don’t be so stubborn. You could loose a lot of blood.”

She put on her slippers.

“... where are you going?”

But she didn’t reply. She just ran down the stairs to her room.

Littering everywhere with blood.

When she got to her room, she locked the door.

She went to her wardrobe and took her bathing towel. 

She folded it and kept it on the floor and she placed her leg on it.

Let the blood just flow down.

She knew that she wouldn’t bleed as much as soaking the whole towel.

Yes it takes longer time for the blood to clot. But it will that was what matters.

She sighed tiredly.

Gee. It's a pity he had to see her that way. She hoped he’d leave immediately now.

*

He kept waiting for her to come out. 

Even when she made it clear that she wanted him to leave.

He just couldn’t leave.

Yeah he could be cold, but he wasn’t heartless. 

If he leaves just like that, she might not be able to reach the hospital all by herself on time.

Lest she calls an ambulance which would still take time.

But why was she bleeding that way? That wasn’t normal.

Could it be that she has a disease that her blood cant clot early.

He was feeling somewhat touched.

And... they were some light bruises on her body. But she didn’t even seem to care. Or cover them up with her clothes.

Was she also being mistreated at home?

*

After a while of waiting, it was 5pm. His closing hour.

He decide to wait a little since work was over.

He wanted to make sure she was okay before leaving. It was clear now that she really didn’t wanna go to a hospital.

But now, if she doesn’t come out in 5 more mins, he was gonna go look for her.

People could die through bleeding... But he wasn’t too worried because the cut wasn’t that big.

Suddenly the front door opened and a young girl of Gracie’s age entered.

Hold on, he had seen her at the hotel earlier.

Were they together?

She froze on seeing him. Her gaze went to the floor and her brow furrowed at once.

She stared at the floor close to the door.

They was blood... almost everywhere... and even cotton wool soaked with blood all over the table.

Her eyes widen and her bag fell down.

“What did you do to Gracie?” she gasped. “where is Gracie?”

“she...”

She didn’t even wait for him to talk before she fled past him to the stairs.

She went down the stairs. Exactly where Gracie had earlier gone to.

His brow furrowed. Wasn’t that weird.

*

“Why didn’t you help her?”

“I was trying to but she asked me to leave.

And then she went away.”

Emma frowned and wiped her tears.

“you should have helped her. Or... or or done something.” She stuttered.

“How is she? Is she fine now?” he asked. She was silent?

He walked closer to her and held her hand.

“Tell me, is she okay?”

“let go.” She took her hand off his. 

“what do you care anyway. I thought you felt she was like a bug?” she muttered. “you mean guy.” She added.

After a long while of silence and thoughts he walked to the exit without anymore word.

He opened the door and left shutting it behind him.

*

She  sighed the moment he left and walked back to Gracie's room.

Gracie was just sitting in the middle of the bed legs drawn to her chest.

“Has he gone?” she asked the moment she entered.

She nodded and dropped down on a couch close to the door.

“please my mum must’nt know about this okay?

Else she might forced me to go to the hospital. I wanna be anywhere but there.”

“i know.” She replied. “i should just go clean up before your mum comes.”

“Thanks Emma.”

She stood up from the couch and exited.

*

Thinking about it.

That couldn’t be Andre, she told him her name earlier at their date.

But he didn't even seem like he's ever heard the name.

Or is it that he doesn’t remember her at all? Or he isn’t Andre?

But his green eyes and tattoo...

No way.

That tattoo. It was made specially for her by Andre.

She knew it. It was exactly like the photo he had sent to her.

That was Andre. But he just doesn’t remember her.

That was why he asked if they had met before.

He probably finds her familiar, but he doesn’t remember her.

Maybe now, he might just pick the pieces.

Because she was sure he knows now that she is sick.

She fell lying on the bed. She felt absolutely terrible.

She was never gonna have anything to do with him from hence.

*

“mum?” she called.

Her mum who was sitting on the sitting room’s couch turned back to stare at her.

“you're awake?”

Most times she was never awake when her mum comes home.

“i couldn’t sleep.” She said and walked to the chair to sit with her mum.

She was feeling weak from all the bleeding earlier.

“Why?” her mum asked staring at her.

“i just feel bored... I don't know, sad.

I'm gonna be so lonely from tomorrow.

School is gonna resume and Emma won’t visit me till weekend.

I think I need a job.” She muttered carelessly. She froze suddenly.

“oh my god. Mum!

Yeah, I need a job.” She said. That was a good idea. She wondered how her mum saw that.

He mum gave her a look of. “Why do you always say sensible things and end them with nonsense.”

“mum.” She groused.

“Don’t. Okay! Don't.

Imagine having a grown up woman like you, yet I can’t be at rest.”

“mum.” She moved closer and leaned her head on her shoulder.

“what do you suggest I should do to keep me busy then?

Something good and interesting.”

“hmn. Same old suggestion.

Go to that meeting I told you about..where you can find people with your related sickness.

Make a little friends of your status to keep yourself a little busy” Her mum said.

She moved away from her mum.

“never.”

“then, this discussion is over.

You are not going to work period.” Her mum said and yawned a little.

“hmmp!” she huffed and stood up.

*

“baby?” she heard her mum’s voice outside her door.

She got up from her chair hurriedly and opened the door for her mum.

“baby... I’m going alread...” Mrs Vannessa paused.

“ hmn. Someone is all dressed up?” her mum said. Gracie smiled.

“I’ve made up my mind.

I'm going to that meeting you talked about.

regretfully.” Gracie said. It's boring being at home.

Her mum smiled and arranged her hair a bit.

“I’m so proud of you.” She said. Gracie faked a smile and came out of the door.

*

“be good okay.” Her mum said the moment she got out of the car.

“mum... I’m not some kid.” She muttered.

“bye.” Her mum said.

She turned to the building. Hmm. It wasn’t too big. But it was big.

She smiled and face back. Her mum was already driving off.

She felt excited somewhat to meet the new people. But she somewhat felt bad that they'd all be sick like her.

Hold on, why did she never take her mum's advice earlier?

This seemed exciting.

*

She peeped in the class like room.

Jeez. They were like 9 people in the class like room.

Huh?

She stopped peeping and leaned her back on the wall.

She was already having a change of mind. She wanted to go back home.

All the people there, they were not looking so good.

She took in a deep breath and entered still.

And then she regretted it the moment they all turned to her.

“knock knock” she said. “uh... sorry I...” She muttered. Jeez the crazy stares. 

What should she say?

“i am new here.” She muttered. They were few laughs.

“Hi there. Come in.” Their... maybe their leader, who was the only one standing said.

She walked in properly.

“come over here.” The man said. She hesitantly walked over to him.

“uh... I wanted to join the cancer... Uh.”

“... what is your name?” he cut her off.

“Gracie Riles.” She said. He smiled at her.

“okay Gracie Riles, what's your illness?”

“uh...” She looked around the class.was she supposed to say it in front of the class?

“i have Chronic lymphocytic Leukaemia” she said. The man nodded and asked her to seat wherever she wanted.

She noticed some guys were just checking her out. They were two girls there but she didn’t seat with them.

She walked over to a guy with oxygen line across his nose. He probably has cancer of the lungs. She thought.

She sat beside him.

*

After a while of the teacher talking and other members as well, he called her name.

“huh?” she looked around and then back at the teacher.

“Gracie Riles could you please give us some more details about you and your illness?” the teacher repeated.

She slowly got up as everyone turned to face her.

Huh?

“uh... sir... I uh... I don’t think so.

I like to keep things personally” She said.

He chuckled lightly.

“Gracie, then you can’t be here.

You see, we all tell one another things here. And then solve what we can. It helps i assure you.” The teacher said.

She itched her nape. 

“oh okay then.” She took her bag deciding to leave. But the guy beside her held on to the other side if her bag.

Huh?

She stared at him but he wasn't looking at her. He only nodded negatively.

She wondered what he meant by that.

She left the bag and then decided to tell them about her... just as she could.

Yeah, it wouldn’t take anything away from her. Besides that were all sick like her.

“uh... my name is Gracie Riles.

When I was 14, I was diagnosed with Chronic lymphocytic Leukaemia.

My first round of therapy failed.

But then I didn’t go for a second round.” She said. They were few talks around after that.

“Uh... that was because I didn’t have faith I guess.” she chuckled a little though nothing was funny.

“What if i go for a second round that failed? I asked myself.

 

It’d be disastrous.

I uh... decided to stop treatment.” She said. “and it’s been 5 months already.

I know I’m going to die soon.

But I’m happy it will be nothing near a hospital. And I would have fulfilled everything I wanted.” she said.

They were silence, then their leader spoke.

“we are not here to judge Each other.

But I must ask, why did you really stop treatment.”

She smiled lightly. Their stares were making her really uncomfortable.

“what was the essence of the treatment in the first place?

I was still gonna die, with even much loss.

Firstly chemotherapy makes people loose their hair. I hate that so much.

It makes you prone to all kinds of infection.

During the period of chemo treatment, you've got to be careful with the things you touch, with the things you eat.

Virtually every and anything you do. You have to do everything cautiously. That is punishment.

And then even after everything, the doctors then announce that you have 5 years to live. Huh!” she scoffed.

“chemo might even fail. What was the essence of it in the first place?” She smiled and boldly walked out from the desk to the middle of the class.

“I’m so proud of what I’ve become now.

I live like I’m not sick. I live everyday like there is no next.

Even if I die today, I have nothing to loose just that I haven’t completed my bucket list.” She chuckled.

“I can eat whatever I want, go wherever I want, do whatever I want.

Yeah I know that I’m frail, but this way I’m much happier.

Even if It’s a year I’m gonna live, I’ll live normally... with a clear conscience and a peaceful mind.

And that is one thing I can’t achieve in 10 or 20 years of life in the hospital.

Even if hospitals can guarantee you 10 years.

I can guarantee you that you will spend 9 years and 11 months of it the hospital.

It's not worth it.

I'm not scared of death. I'm not afraid to die.

Even people who ain’t sick, can die in seconds maybe from a car crash.

I think there is nothing there to be afraid of.” She said.

“wow, you are tough.” The teacher said.

“this has nothing to do with toughness.

I'm just courageous and brave. I have a mind of my own.”

“Don’t you have any relation?

Someone whom you're willing to risk spending years in the hospital so you could see them everyday.

So you could touch them everyday, so you could feel them everyday.

Is there no one?” Someone asked. It wasn’t the teacher... It was the guy she had sat beside earlier.

But he wasn’t staring at her.

She was silent for a long while. The guy finally stared at her.

“then I guess it really isn’t worth it.” He said sarcastically. She smiled at him.

“somethings just have to die for others to live.” She said. “take for example, the butterfly.

I know my mum is gonna live beautifully and peacefully knowing everyday that I’m no longer suffering.” She said. 

The guy looked away nodding negatively.

TBC.