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52

Asher

The ground moves beneath me like I’m on a ship at sea. I sway right, then left, my mind sloshing in my skull all the while. It’s a miracle I don’t stumble over my feet and land face-first in the grass.

What have I done?

Camila’s eyes enter my memory. They’re darkened by heat … by the filthy way I tainted her. I let out weeks, maybe years, of pent-up anger back there. I couldn’t control myself. Fuck, I didn’t want to. I knew I was a sinner, but to force my corrupt desires upon her was too much. If I could waltz into hell right now, I would.

Instead, I storm past Kostya.

He eyes me nervously as I pass. “Pakhan,” he starts, but I keep going, not hearing the rest of his words. Like a zombie, I wander until I’m moving through my office door. The correct thing to do—what a man with some goodness left in his heart would do—would be to go back out and apologize to Camila.

She deserves that basic kindness.

But when I drop into my chair, head thrown back, closing my eyes, I know I’m not g
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