Chapter One

"Matilda! Come on out; you're taking forever in there".

"Coming Dad!  Let me get the last batch". I yelled as I kept wandering around the rooms like a lost soul, unable to leave the past behind. The memories I had made here were as if they were all yesterday. I couldn't believe how quickly time flies and how fleeting life is.

"I can't believe we are moving, with all the memories we made here, both sweet and bad, left behind". I murmured to myself. I could hear Mom's laughter as it echoed, the many birthdays I had celebrated within these walls, the many wars we had fought and conquered.

I could give anything to bring the past back; how was I to face what lay ahead? No one prepared me for this; no one told me that things could take a turn so quickly. I couldn't help but shed a few tears. I sank to the ground as I remembered Mom's last moments at the hospital.

She had suffered greatly and was in so much pain, looking all lean and fragile, but I still wanted her around. I prayed earnestly to the heavens to keep her by my side, but the heavens paid no attention to me.

The blazing horn coming from the truck outside brought me back to my senses. I quickly dried up my tears. I had to stay strong for Dad.

I just had to take one last hard look at my childhood house. The place I called home, the very place I was born and raised, was the house where I gained everything and also the place where I lost almost everything. The house held so much meaning to me that I was a bit reluctant to move. I could smell Mom's scent in every room I turned to, but I guess it was about time I moved on for Dad. I had no idea how we were going to pull through this storm, but I knew it was about time I picked up the pieces of my life.

I had been broken these few weeks, confused, and in a very dark place. Mom was my best friend and confidante; losing her was a very big blow that I'm yet to recover from.

I took the last box, and I said my goodbyes. I know this might be the last time I will be standing in the house. There is no going back if I get out of the house. I was still contemplating backing out.

"Honey, we need to hit the road if we want to get to Boston this evening". I heard Dad's voice come yet again.

"Sorry, Dad, I was saying my goodbyes". 

I am sure that this is the right thing. I handed the box over to Dad as he loaded it into the truck. I went over to the passenger side and sat in the pickup truck. I took one last look at the house, and I knew that I was ready for what lay ahead, or I thought I was ready. Dad sat next to me while the driver turned on the ignition. I didn't bother looking back as we moved farther away from the house.

I thought the journey was going to be difficult and strain me emotionally, but the reverse was the case. Each mile we go breaks off the shackles holding me down these few weeks, and the shells that had enclosed me keep falling off. I finally found hope, and I was brimming with the desire to let go and finally be myself.

I knew that my mother would have wanted me to move on and be myself. It was as if I could hear her whispering to my ears, "Mutchkin, you can be anything you want." I took a deep sigh and plugged in my ear pods. Unstoppable by Sia started to play. I was vibing to the song, and I didn't know when I had dozed off.

"Mutchkin," I heard a gentle voice calling from behind; it was a bit strange, but the voice sounded so familiar. I looked around, and that was when it dawned on me that I was back at the house. I was a bit confused but was patient enough not to get scared.

"Mutchkin," I heard someone call the second time, and I quickly followed the voice as stealthily as possible without making a sound.

"Mutchkin" came the third time, but this time around I recognized the voice as the caller was standing right in front of me.

"Mom!" I called out amidst tears. She was as beautiful as I have always remembered, she was putting on her favorite flowered gown. She smiled broadly at me, and I couldn't help but break down in tears.

Seeing her standing right in front of me reminded me of just how much I had missed her. She spread out her arms, beckoning me into her embrace. I ran quickly to her boss without thinking twice.

"Mom!" I kept calling her as I continued crying; she held onto me tight while trying to soothe me.

"I missed you, Mom," I confessed, crying profusely.

"I missed you more, honey," she quickly replied as she tried drying up my tears with the back of her hands.

"Mom, I don't want to leave you ever again."

"I know, honey, but you need to be strong for our sake."

"Mom, please come home with us; Dad misses you too."

"I'm home, Mutchkin, but you need to find your place," she replied while smiling at me.

"No, no, no, Mom, I don't want to leave you again." I held onto her as my life depended on it.

"You will be alright, honey," Mom said, patting my hair gently.

"Wake up, honey." I heard my dad's voice beckoning me from my dreams.

"No," I quickly said while holding onto Mom.

"You have to go now, honey, but I will forever be with you," she finally said, and before I could say jack, she was nowhere to be found.

"Mom!" I called her while searching the rooms.

"Wake up, honey." A gentle nudge from Dad woke me up.

"Mom!" I screamed as I opened my eyes.

"Are you okay, honey?" Dad asked while peering into my face. Realizing it was only a dream, I quickly cleared my throat and took off the earphones.

"Are we there yet?" I asked Dad, trying not to bring up the topic; he hasn't been himself lately, and I don't want to remind him of what we are trying to forget.

"Yes, come and help me pack these boxes into our new house."

"Ok Daddy", I quickly replied as I got off the truck.

I took in my environment; the house did not seem like much; it looked like a leftover from the previous era. It was a shabby-looking house; I couldn't believe we would be living here, but I had no say in the matter. The house was a block of flats, and Dad kept going over the steps. The steps were littered with green moss, and the smell of something foul was in the air. I know I should be optimistic, but this is a no-no for me. I couldn't help but wish we didn't have to sell our house.

I mean, we are not rich, but we were somehow comfortable at our old house, and I was beginning to doubt we made the right decision to move to this town. Dad opened a door on the third floor of the building, and we stepped into the apartment. The rooms weren't big at all, but it was just me and Dad anyway, so we could manage.

I looked at the walls, and they were a bit disfigured with some drawings; honestly, I could have mistaken the apartment for an art studio. I went over to the kitchen, and it wasn't much. I turned on the water, and it came rushing out. I was kind of glad that we at least had water. I moved over to the toilet, and it was a sight for sore eyes. I mean, I wasn't exactly expecting much judging by the house's appearance, but it was by far below my expectations.

I wondered if the last occupant was a human being or an animal. I quickly closed the door, but the door handle pulled off immediately after I banged on the door.

"Wow!" was all I could manage to say; we practically have a lot of work to do, like we might spend forever in here trying to fix up the apartment. I went to the sitting room to meet Dad, who was carrying a box. He dropped it on the floor and shut the door. He looked around for a while.

"Honey, I know this isn't much, but...

I hugged my dad and cut in. "I understand, Dad, and this is okay; we can always make it work," I said, smiling.

I know he has had it rough with mom's chemo treatment and all, which drained our resources these few months. We found ourselves selling most of our belongings just to pay for her medical expenses. First, it was Dad's car, then we had to sell off Mom's also. Dad spent all his savings, and I had to put my college exam on hold because we couldn't afford it. The last thing I want is to strain him any further.

"We will be fine, Dad; it just needs a little work and it will be as good as new."

"Haha, I love you, honey," Dad said laughing.

We started out working, cleaning, and dusting the rooms. The house had a small sitting room, two small bedrooms, a kitchen, and one shared bathroom for the rooms. We couldn't do much regarding the walls, but we agreed to cover up the sitting room with wallpaper. After tidying up the apartment, one could barely recognize it because it looked a bit decent now.

Dad took some luggage bearing his belongings to his room. I know he would miss Mom greatly, especially tonight because it was the first night we were spending outside of New York City alone; we had always gone on vacation together. All three of us.

I heard something crash on the floor as I was hanging out my clothes in the tiny closet in my room.

"Dad!" I screamed as I rushed out, heading into his room. I would die if anything happened to him. I got to the room to find him bending over something on the floor. I came closer only to find out it was a picture frame of him and Mom. He was gathering the shards of glass scattered on the floor while shedding tears.

"Dad, are you okay?" I asked, knowing fully well that he wasn't, and he dried up his tears hastily when he heard my voice.

"I'm fine, honey. Stand right there. You don't want one of these bad boys piercing your beautiful legs now," he quickly responded. I didn't move an inch as I stood far behind him, watching him clean up the glasses.

When he was done, I offered to help him hang up the remaining stuff, but he wouldn't have it; he asked me to go continue with what I was doing that he could manage.

"I am fine, honey, just a bit too tired, okay?"  he reassured me.

He has been acting all strong ever since we lost Mom to cancer, but I have sneaked up on him several times, crying at night. He loved Mom so greatly, and I know he was shaken by her death.

I went back to the room and resumed my chores; a few minutes later, we were done and both out chilling in the sitting room. It was already late at night and there was practically nothing to eat at all. We didn't think about what to eat earlier. He suggested we order in, but it was our first time in the town and we didn't know much about the town. We emptied our cookie jar and some snacks we got at a convenience store outside the town.