"Sharing that intimacy with me, it was shocking that I could see that painful scenario which kept appearing in my dreams.. while my eyes were closed.
That felt real, as if I was taken to that place filled with pain, longing, desperation and sorrow. Deep in that killing torment, I did not notice that I yearningly uttered those painful cries again.. right before you.Heron.. Where are you?? I miss you..Those cries, that longing. There's resonating pain. Because I was getting too immersed in that painful scenario, I opened my tearful eyes not to feel the familiar agony that was embracing me. But the moment I opened my eyes, I saw Heron in you..I didn't know why but at that time, even though I had no idea who he was or how he looked like, my heart was screaming inside and convincing me that you were Heron.Looking at you, your eyes suddenly spoke the same deepest yearning that"You could not let me go because of my sketch that kept puzzling you. If you hadn't found that in my pocket, you wouldn't have demanded me to stay in your place. We could have parted ways after I got discharged from the hospital. But that never happened because of my sketch.Living under the same roof had caused us pain. You hurt me, unintentionally. As my presence kept giving you so much burden, I had been hurting you. And I did hurt you a lot when I clashed with you and purposely caused you tormenting agony.But instead of getting back at me for torturing you with scrutinizing pain, what you did was something I would never erase in my memory. That was such a beautiful pain my heart would want to cherish, every day.You faced me with gentle intimacy and warm affection. Your gaze consoled my gloomy heart. Sharing that intimate moment with me, you alone became my solace.After that day, my heart kept thinking about you even th
"With the haunting mysteries surrounding my sketch, that night was supposed to be tormenting, but strangely, it suddenly became comforting. I had never imagined that I would end up sharing a lovely moment with you. That was a beautiful memory my heart has cherished for so many years now.Everything was like a lovely painting. And that's because of you. The dazzling stars were like joyful tears, glowing in the night sky. The gentle wind with the swaying leaves was like a warm embrace, calming in gloom. The golden lights from the lamp posts were beautiful tranquility.Sharing that intimate moment with you, in that painting-like beauty, I felt that I was taken to a different world where no one existed but only the two of us, just you and me.With your affectionate gaze, with your gentle touch, with your tender kisses and with your consoling existence, I could no longer deceive myself. I had changed my mind, in an instant. I would no longer w
"Feeling completely embarrassed while you were still intently looking at me, I stepped backward and broke the silence that began to discomfort me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable with my insane thoughts about us.Fixed on your intent look at me, you were sinking in your lost mind and asked me what had happened.At first, I hesitated to tell you because what had happened to you might humiliate and trouble you, especially that I was the one who saw you in your agitated state. It might not only embarrass you but it could also dishearten you.However, seeing you in your anxious self, I felt that something was extremely bothering you. And what I had in mind was because of that kiss.You might have kissed me while you were completely lost but how you looked troubled asking me what had happened could tell an obvious truth. You had a strong feeling that you actually kissed me.And if I chose not to answer you,
"What I had heard exactly from him totally flustered me to the point that I suddenly felt whirling sensations all over my body. And I was sure that hearing that name again terribly and insanely shocked you.At that time, I clearly understood why his presence had overwhelmed you with shock and uneasiness, even from the start.How did he know Heron Arth? The old man really puzzled me.While we were left standing in the middle of the park and looking at the old man who was was walking away from us, I got a strong feeling that he didn't just randomly run into us but he intentionally approached us to let us know that he had a meaningful connection with me, with you.. and with us.After that night, I could no longer erase the old man and his words in my mind. And he, mentioning that name, Heron, did convince me that I was not delusional having those feelings and thoughts about us because those were surprisingly true.
"I was sure that our own misery was the cruelest during those times. With that, I didn't want to distress you anymore.My new sketch had caused you extreme agitation and that did not only torment you because seeing you in deep agony was also tormenting me, like a cruel punishment.I never wanted to witness you in your agitated state anymore, so I made a promise to myself that I would no longer cause you agonizing pain. But sadly, I kept breaking my promise that I always ended up hurting you.On the night of Gail's 19th birthday, I caused you another painful torment.At first, I was the one who was in deep pain, heartlessly caused by Gail and unexpectedly, by you. You broke my heart when you told me to leave because I thought you believed that I had stolen Gail's gold necklace.Even though my teary eyes had already been giving in, I kept telling myself that I should fight back my tears because I never wanted Gail to see
"The moment you had asked me to leave, I had made up my mind to live on my own, without any help especially from you. That decision was never the result of my hate towards you but of my courage to completely forget you.Despite the pain that I had to endure from that day, I was decisive enough to bury my hopeful feelings and thoughts about us to forgetfulness. The old man had never showed up since that night and I felt that it was just right to abandon the hope that he put in my heart.I started to convince myself that you made me leave because you no longer wanted to suffer from my distressing presence.I had to feed my mind with painful and saddening thoughts for me to forget you. That's the only way I could survive living without you.The more my heart made me feel that we're actually destined to be together, the deeper my longing would be. That's terribly painful.Missing you with the thought that I could nev
"Uncle Tony had such a pure heart. I could really tell that he was a genuine person.He could have told me about supporting Yenny or he could have been showing off his good deeds but he had never done that.At that time, I could definitely say that Uncle Tony and you were exactly the same, especially when his silent cries in his heart deeply resonated with me.He's Tony Sean but despite his success and prominence, he was actually broken inside, like you. And that's because his younger son had been silently enduring his burdensome life.While your dad was talking to me, I could not help but get tormented by painful sadness. I felt extremely bad and sorry. What you had been going through was totally heart-torturing.You lost your mom exactly on your birthday. Your older brother fell terribly ill the next day after your mom passed away. You quit playing for the varsity team. You abandoned your dream to be a ba
"Those miserable cries were drowning me in surging emotions. Painful. Sad. Tormenting. Not wanting to hear Dave's misery, I covered my ears. But his cries were blasting in devastation.Because I no longer wanted to get drowned in the depth of pain, I thought of recalling those beautiful moments I had seen in my dreams. As soon as I closed my eyes, the door suddenly opened. You came rushing.That morning filled with pain and sadness, in an instant, became heart-warming the moment you spoke.Don't be scared anymore, I am here. Those were the words that you had said to comfort Dave. The calmness in your voice, that was comforting. Dave stopped crying. Finally.But then, he fearfully asked you to hide him and never leave him. His trembling voice spoke fear. With your unchanging calmness, you consoled your fearful brother by saying that you would not leave him and no one could harm him because you were already there, with hi