I’M SOBBING AND I CAN’T seem to stop. “I fucked up, Tea. I fucked up. I fucked up.”She’s driving and patting me on the leg, the shoulder, the head, the face. “Shhhhh, babe, just relax. You are so on your period right now.”“I’m not, I’m not … I fucked up. I said some seriously mean shit in there.” I keep replaying my own words in my head and I’m thoroughly disgusted with myself. My mouth just got away from me or something. I don’t know why I keep letting that happen. It’s like I’m in self-destruct mode or something.“I need you to get your butt together. Alissa’s at the apartment and she’s already freaking out about every little thing. I can’t have her freaking out over you too. Seriously. Get those lady-balls out of your purse and put them in your panties, just for a few hours.”“I can’t. I suck. I suck. Just bring me home.”“Really?” She stops the car at the traffic light and looks at me. “You want to go home now instead of my place?”“No. Yes. No. Take me home.” I breathe out heav
A LONG, HOT SHOWER DOES a little bit of good for my mood, although it doesn’t fully restore it. I don’t think that’s even possible at this point. There’s too much unresolved in my life and too many unanswered questions about my near future. But at least the horror that was my hair is now gone.I’m sporting long, smooth locks with a light curl to them instead of a helmet o’frizz. I use the straightening iron to get every last bit of crispiness out of my dark, kinky hair. As ridiculous as it sounds, I want to try and fix things that can be fixed. My life is a mess, but my hair? … Not so much. At least I have that going for me. I just wish I could care about my eyebrows too, but I don’t. I keep looking in the mirror and wondering what Mick sees when he looks at me. It makes me sad when I realize it’s probably nothing special.“Hey, ho,” says Teagan, walking up the hallway and stopping in my doorway.“Hey, ho,” I say back, pulling a cardigan over my arms. “Time to make like a baby and hea
“Hi, Quin. Thanks for coming over,” he says.My eyes narrow and some anger slips back into my heart. Mick is lying in a hospital room right now, lighter in the organ department because of him.“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asks. His voice is cautious. Calm.Way cooler than mine.“No.” I grip my purse strap hard with both hands. Teagan warned me about making a scene with asking Alissa questions; I’m pretty sure making a scene includes causing one in her general vicinity too.“Quin, go talk to him. Please?” Teagan is not playing. She sounds tired and sad.I blow a gust of hot breath up onto my forehead. “Fine. Talk.” I stare at a spot over his head. I can’t look him in the eyes right now. I feel guilty for some stupid reason.“I’d rather do it at my place,” he says. “Bad idea,” I say. “Do it here.”“If you guys don’t mind, maybe it would be better if you did it over there,” says Alissa, suddenly coming out of her book stupor. Her face is all pinched and snooty-looking.My mouth d
ALISSA STARES AT THE FLOWERS as if in a trance. I’m distracted from her zombie act by Teagan coming out of the kitchen with three glasses of ice water in her hands.“Wow. Those are impressive,” she says, putting the glasses down on the coffee table and touching one of the flowers.“These are from Colin, for me.” I take her by the elbow and bring her back into the kitchen, trying to be mindful of Alissa’s delicate condition. “They’re just a friend thing,” I whisper when we’re out of earshot. “I pulled that friend card out and used it immediately, too.”“How so?” she asks, also whispering.“I made him go to the hospital and apologize to Mick.” Teagan lifts an eyebrow. “Is that a good idea?”“Of course it is.” I start to doubt myself immediately. I guess he could decide to pulverize a few more of his brother’s organs. That would be bad.Teagan pulls her phone out of her pocket and texts out a message. A few seconds later an answer arrives with a beep.“What’s it say?” I ask, trying to lo
I TRY REALLY HARD NOT to grind my teeth in frustration. Leaning over to murmur in Teagan’s ear, I school my expression to remain fake-interested. “I thought you said we’d be out of here in thirty minutes.”She grins and answers me through closed teeth. “I have no control over these guys.”Teagan failed to mention that we were attending a mediation today. This isn’t just a meeting to discuss my report. The attorneys for the step mother are on the telephone and a mediator person is in the other room, talking to them and then coming in and out of this meeting room that we’re in to negotiate. As far as I can tell, they’re getting nowhere.Speak of the devil, the guy who’s acting as the referee in this mess walks back into the room.“Okay. I have a response for you. As you know, you’ve asked for the initial public offering of the company to be delayed until the issue of share ownership is resolved. I recommended to the acting CEO that they do so.” He pauses to make sure we’re all paying at
REBEL, COLIN, AND MICK ARE all standing outside waiting for Teagan’s arrival. As soon as she sees that wall of gorgeously muscled badassery, she starts crying all over again.I can’t help but be a little stunned by the picture they make myself. Get in my panties, boys. Holy, holy.As soon as Rebel opens the door and scoops his girlfriend up into his arms, my brain goes back to normal function. Mick is here. There will be no sexy talk, so sexy thoughts, and no sexy sex. We are just friends because our favorite people are in love. That’s it and that’s all. Ten-four, over and out.“What in the hell are you doing out of the hospital?” I ask, slamming the door shut. I sound mad, but I’m not. I’m worried. What if his stitches rip and his guts fall out? How will I save him then?“They let me out. Colin gave me a lift.”I raise an eyebrow at the mess of Trouble standing next to Mick. I suppose I should be happy Colin didn’t manage to murder his brother on the way home. “That was nice.”Colin
She frowns at me, all her flirting happiness disappearing like a puff of smoke. Her hand freezes on Mick’s boob. “No.”“Oh.” I shrug, looking around all casual, acting like I didn’t just pull the pin and drop an insult grenade on her head.“Why would you ask that? Do I look blind?”I shrug. “I don’t know. I guess it was the way you were reading Mick’s chest like he had braille all over it or something. My bad.” I give her a tight smile and then go back to facing Colin. “So, yeah, it was terrible …”Before I can get any more of my story out, something hits me in the shoulder.My eyes bug out as I turn to see what the hell is going on. Hannah Hootersville is standing there, ready for a fight, her legs spread a little apart and her small hands fisted at her sides.“Did you just hit me?” I cannot believe this girl would be so stupid. “Yeah, I just hit you.” She flips her dried-out, scraggly, fake-blond hairover her shoulder and sticks her flubbery chest out. “What are you going to do abo
“YOU’RE NUTS,” MICK SAYS. “NO way you can pull that off.”“Let’s do it,” says Colin, holding his chest and rubbing it a little as he lets out a burp.I lean back to stay in the safe zone. He’s drunk way too much carbonation for my comfort.“I’m in.” Colin holds up a hand and gives his brother a challenging look before smiling way too big at me. “We’ll keep the handicapped dude on the bench. It’ll be just you and me. Bonnie and Clyde.”I smile and high-five him back. Tag-team teasing Mick is way too muchfun.“Fuck that. Neither one of you should go,” Mick says. “First of all,Rebel’s going to tell you no way. We have a schedule and those cars need to go out. And second, it’s a bad idea. Just bad all the way around.”“We can be up and back in two days,” I say, my words coming out hurried. “We’ll go Friday morning and be back on Sunday.” I’m bouncing on my toes, praying Mick will change his mind. “Come on … what do we have to lose? Nothing! It’ll be fun.”“You better not say anything to
I SPEND AN HOUR TRYING to cook up excellent break-up scenes in my mind but nothing is working. Every scenario ends with me having a broken heart and Mick being an ice-cold d-bag. I can’t stand not knowing what’s happening to my life as it unfolds behind my back.It only takes me thirty minutes to get dressed and made up, ready to break some hearts on the dance floor. I hate games. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat.My dad is dead asleep, exhausted from taking care of my mom and Jersey, so I leave a note on the kitchen counter in the house we’re renting and take off. I’m at the club in less than a half hour, walking through the door like I own the place. That’s right, y’all. I got my butt lifters on. Gravity cannot touch my jiggly parts tonight.The beat is familiar. This DJ Twatmonster or whatever her name is sucks.She just plays the same crap over and over and hopes nobody notices. Well, guess what cooter-breath! I noticed!I scan the dance floor, the bar, and the empty DJ booth, but
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE knocked on some wood earlier today when I was thinking Mick was all perfect and awesome and totally in love with me. Yeah, right. I am such a fucking idiot sometimes.It’s eleven o’clock at night and he’s AWOL. He hasn’t returned any of my calls, and a quick trip over to Rebel Wheels reveals that he’s not at work either. Jersey asked for him all night and no amount of reassurances on my part that he’d show up would satisfy him. After he had about two hours’ worth of fits, he finally fell asleep exhausted and in pain. I’m ready to kick some major boyfriend ass.I tried for hours to keep Teagan out of my mess, but I can’t stand it any longer. I call her number and tap my foot while I wait for her to pick up.“Yo, ho. What up?”“Nothing. Do you know where Mick is?”“Wow, abrupt. Um, no, I don’t know where he is. He’s not with you?” “No. I expected him all night, but apparently he was too busy.”“Oh.”I wait for the rest, but there is no rest. “Well?” I say, annoyed.
MICK AND I ARE HOLDING hands under the conference table at the lawyer’s office. Teagan is on my other side, holding my other hand. Rebel is at work, unable to get away from the huge workload that was made worse by our road trip and then Mick’s subsequent focus on me and my family. A lot has happened in a week, not the least of which is this head-to-head with the lawyers.“So tell us exactly what this so-called secretary said to you.” The young lawyer speaking to Mick looks very happy but the older one, not so much.“She said a lot of things, but mainly that Teagan’s dad was fine up until the last couple months before he died and then he just kind of went downhill fast.”“Downhill in what way?” the lawyer asks. Teagan squeezes my hand hard.Mick responds. “Getting absent-minded. Nauseated. Sweaty. Disoriented.Chest pains.”“Sounds like heart attack symptoms,” says the older lawyer.“Not really. It went on for weeks, not just days. But that’s not the worst part.” Mick looks at Teagan,
THE MUFFLED CLICKS OF MY heels on the hospital hallway floor keep time with my rapidly beating heart. I can see the room where my brother is being kept, up ahead. I’m going to see him first because he’s in worse shape than my mom and because I know he’ll be scared. We’re in the burn ward, dressed in gowns, masks, gloves and shoe covers. I feel like I have cotton stuck in my ears the way all the sharp edges have been taken off the sounds in this place. Mick is beside me, holding my hand, just like he has been since we buckled our seatbelts on the airplane.I reach the doorway and stop, dropping Mick’s hand and taking a deep breath. I can’t let Jersey see me freaking out.“It’s going to be fine, babe. Just relax.” Mick is rubbing my arm. “Want me to come in or stay out?”“Stay here first. I’ll come get you in a minute.” I can’t breathe. I’m starting to hyperventilate. The hallway is spinning.“Babe. Get a grip.” Mick is shaking me by the upper arms. “Jersey is going to be upset if he se
WE’RE IN THE CAR HEADED back south and I can’t stand that Mick is on the other side of the car as me. I’m trying really hard to play it cool, but I can’t help but sneak glance after glance at him. He’s dead gorgeous and I’m completely infatuated with him.Maybe I’m wrong or just dreaming, but he seems to be suffering the same sickness as I am. He catches me looking at him about twenty times, but only because he’s doing the same thing. If the goofy grin on his face looks anything like the one I think I’m wearing, there’s no way we’re fooling anyone.“So what’s the deal?” Colin asks. “What did you find out last night?”I blink a few times, getting all that sexy stuff out of my head so we can focus.“Well … a couple of those girls worked in places that didn’t really have a whole lot of contact with Teagan’s dad. But one of them was his assistant, so that was good.”I grab his arm and squeeze it. “What? Are you serious?”“Yeah, I’m serious.” His shit-eating grin is enough to send me throu
I’M NOT SURE IF WE slept. Maybe I caught a few winks here and there, cuddled up in Mick’s strong arms with my head on his chest, but when I see a few rays of sun coming through the window, I know it’s time to get going.Colin and Alissa are going to be getting up soon and they’re going to come over here and bang on the door and expect to see two messy beds. I don’t want to ride back in that car for seven hours with them knowing what we did. Talk about awko taco.I’m too vulnerable right now to deal with teasing or conversation about it. I need to know exactly where Mick’s head is first. I don’t want to be the only one mooning over our love affair, as brief as it might be. I’m not a total amateur at this stuff. Just because we fit together like puzzle pieces, it doesn’t mean we’re suddenly in a relationship. As much as I might want that to happen, it takes two to tango, and I don’t know if Mick ever does anything but the bump and grind on that dance floor.I get up in all my naked glor
I’M SQUEALING WITH LAUGHTER FOR about three seconds before his mouth is on mine and the sound is cut off. I downshift right into moaning, growling, and basically going nuts. And I’m not the only one, either. We’re rolling all over the bed, shoes and clothes are flying off, and both of us are battling to feel as much of each other’s lips and tongues as possible.“You are so beautiful,” he says, his words coming out with big puffs of air onto my mouth and face.A niggling of doubt enters my mind and I stop moving. I hold him a little away from me. “Are you sure it’s me you’re talking about?”He pauses and frowns in confusion. “Yeah, I’m sure. Why’d you ask that?”“Because … I’m worried you’ve got your beer goggles on and that they were fogged up by about ten office chicks who were rubbing their hooters all over you in the club.”“Pffft. Right. None of those girls can even touch you. Not even close.And I’m not drunk. I know exactly what I’m doing.” He leans in and kisses my neck, lickin
BY THE TIME MICK STUMBLES out of the club, I’m the only one still awake. Or I’m the only one not fake-sleeping, anyway. Alissa is snoring so loud I find it hard to believe Colin is really as dead to the world as he appears.Mick comes up to my window as I pretend to not notice he’s there. “Hey,” he says against the glass, fogging it up a little. “Can I come in?” “What’s the password?” I say. I’m annoyed that he’s so happy. Shouldn’the feel dirty selling his body for secrets like he has?He looks up nervously at the door to the club. “Uh, hurry up and let me in before those chicks come looking for me.”I have two ways I can go here. I can leave him out there to sweat all those boobies, or I can let him in and take him away. He looks at me with those darkly shaded green eyes of his and then his body kind of leans forward a little and his tattoo flashes at me from under his sleeve.I grab the handle of the door. Screw making him feel bad for doing what I asked him to do. He needs to
I’M HALFWAY OUT OF THE stall on my belly, feeling like a total dirty toilet- snake slithering around, when the bathroom door opens and the loud sounds of the crowd and the music come blasting in.I look up at an amazonian woman wearing heels and jeans standing not very far from my face. She looks familiar, and I’m pretty sure it’s because she’s a supermodel who dates George Clooney.“Uhhh …” I try to play off the fact that I’m wallowing in strip club toilet stink at her feet. “Heh, heh. Hi.”She lifts an eyebrow and stares at me. I’m immediately impressed with her skills. And I thought I was awesome at speaking without talking. She’s like an eyebrow ninja or something. I wonder if they taught her that in supermodel school.“Do you need some help?” she asks, coming a step closer.“Yeah,” I say, pressing my palms into the floor. I’m going to sterilize them with fire later. “The lock broke while I was inside.”She bends in half and puts her hand down where I can reach it.I cringe. “I’m