MATELESS MATES

     I stared at my best friend, Jayson , as he fastened the last button on his shirt and felt a shiver course through me. There was just something in the way he wore his black three-piece suit that made him look lethal and confident.

     Sexy.

     I shook my head slightly, willing myself to stop the direction of my thoughts. I had no right thinking about him in a way that wasn't strictly platonic. Jayson and I were friends, though it was becoming difficult to remember that lately.

     He turned away from the mirror to face me, fiddling with his cufflinks, a telltale signal that he was nervous. Mustering a small smile, I picked up the red tie on the bed and wound it around his collar, deeming the knot.

     I arranged the lapels of his jacket, ignoring the way my heart seemed to race. His breath lightly fanned my face and I had to shut my eyes to get a hold of myself from how dizzying it felt just standing so close to him. When I reopened them, Jayson was watching me a little too intensely for my liking.

     "Look who's dressed the part," I teased, stepping away from him and fisting my hands so I didn't reach for him again. "If it isn't our soon to be Alpha Jayson ."

     A dark look flashed across his face as he held back a grimace. "I'm not ready, Ally," He confessed, looking at himself in the mirror. "I'm not certain I have all it takes to lead the pack."

     My heart hurt at his words. The selfish part of me wanted to stay quiet and not tell him the truth. Which was that he would be a great leader and a wonderful Alpha. He would handle his responsibilities excellently and look after the pack so well that he might even forget me.

     I guess that was the problem. The reality that my best friend was turning twenty-five and ready to take his place as the Alpha of Blue Moon pack. Once he was made alpha, the pack members would be concerned with him finding his mate. Everyone knew an Alpha was his strongest when mated.

      Jayson would find his mate and begin the mating ritual with her. They would be joined and she would be officially made the Luna of the pack. He would be so wrapped up in his work and his mate that he would never have time for me again.

     Tears stung my eyes just thinking about it and my wolf howled inside of me. What would become of me then? I've been in love with him for so long. He was the world to my wolf and I and I was about to watch him become the world to thousands of other people.

     About to encourage him.

     I couldn't stop myself from slipping my hand into his and squeezing. "We'll be the luckiest wolves to have you as our leader, you should know that by now."

     He stepped away from me, making me feel the acute loss of his touch. What was wrong with me? I wondered silently. I shouldn't be feeling this way about my best friend. Shouldn't be craving to see him, hear him, touch him.

     Taste him.

     "Of course you'll say that," Jayson stated, oblivious to my thoughts. "You're my best friend, so you obviously have to."

     "No one cares about the pack the way you do," I informed him. "I mean it," I added when I realized he was about to protest. "I've watched you help a lot of people when you didn't have to, West. Watched you go hungry just so another person could eat, so I can eat."

     "Being an Alpha's more than just that," He countered stubbornly. "There's going to be times when I have to make hard decisions. Decisions that might not be in favor of some pack members."

     I shook my head slightly at his words. "In that case there's nothing you can do. And you don't have to make the hard decisions all by yourself, Josh and Luke would also be there." I reminded him, referring to his closest buddies.

     He gave me smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You won't be there." He said softly. I could feel my heart skip painfully at his words.

     I went quiet at that. His parents had made it abundantly clear that they were only tolerating our friendship because it wasn't time for him to take up his responsibilities yet. Now that it was, it would be a miracle if we spent more than five minutes alone with each other.

     "No, I wouldn't." I whispered. "It wouldn't matter anyway, you would be busy with handling so many responsibilities and making decisions, not to mention finding your mate," I said, wiggling my eyebrows and trying to lighten up the room.

     He went silent, just studying me. I forced myself not to squirm under his intense gaze. "You think I'm going to forget you." He said flatly.

     "You couldn't, even if your life depended on it," I said jokingly, smiling at him.

     He didn't smile back.

     I took a deep steadying breath, fixing my gaze anywhere but on him. "I don't think you're going to forget me, Jayson ," I admitted. "But I do think you won't have time for me anymore. Not like you used to."

     "You're right." He said bluntly, making me flinch. "I obviously won't have time for you anymore, not when I'm busy solving the pack's problems and attending meetings, making huge decisions and trying to woo my mate when I find her."

     I didn't need to look at him to know he was angry, but I didn't understand why. I wasn't the one causing him so much pain with my words.

     "Exactly." I managed to agree. He hardened his jaw and scoffed at me in disbelief. "What?"

     "I don't know whether to be disappointed, mad or just confused as to why you completely expect that from me." He finally answered after a few minutes. He walked past me and picked up his watch from his dresser.

     "I'm just being realistic here." I told him as he put the watch on. "As I rightfully should be."

     "Of course." He replied dryly, closing his wardrobe door.

     I watched him move around angrily, trying to put his room in order and calm himself down.

     Sighing, I walked to him. "You shouldn't be mad on your birthday, I'm sorry." I apologized, not in the mood to fight with him. I understood that my words had upset him even though that hadn't at all been my intention.

     "I'm not going to forget you." He said solemnly, pausing to take my hands in his. I relished the feeling of his rough palm against my smooth ones.

     Despite the fact that I didn't want him to get upset again, I still couldn't stop my response. "You shouldn't make promises you might not be able to keep."

     He shook his head at my words, chuckling softly. "You're such a strong headed woman, Ella." He seemed to be reaching for my chin when the door burst open and his mother walked in.

     Just like that my mood took a downward spiral.