Chapter 3: The Big Question

On the drive home, I think about everything the doctor said.  Is that really the only way?  Should I do it?

It goes against everything my mother has always instilled in me, and yet there is something intriguing about what he suggests.  So intriguing, that I am willing to investigate it further and possibly even pursue it.  The only thing that bothers me about stripping, however, is the fact that so many men think that you are willing to do anything to be paid.  That is simply not the case for me.

If I go down that path, I must make sure to not keep going into the abyss.  Because once you take that step, you never return.  I remember one time a while back, I had to go into the city at night for my mother’s medications. 

There were women lining the streets with their pimps in the bad parts of town.  As I drove by, I saw cars pulling up to the curbs, and then the women flocking to them.  That is what pops in my head, when I think of strippers and what it all leads to afterwards. 

Pulling down the long dirt road that leads to the house, I watch our neighbor Joy put out her trashcan, before going into work.  She is a 34-year-old nurse at the hospital, and on more than one occasion, has helped my mom when I was younger.  Often enough, I would sprain something, and she would call Joy to come over and look at it.

My dad was never home because he was always working at the mill in town.  So, on the rare occasion that I did really hurt myself, ma had to rely on Joy for transportation too.  She is such a nice person and very motherly, so much so, that I often have wondered why she doesn’t settle down and have her own kids.

Maybe it is because they work her so much at the hospital or could it be that she can’t afford them on her salary?  Although, you would think that whoever she married, would be able to support them.  This train of thought starts me thinking about the hospital bill again and I start to worry.

By the time I lie my head on the pillow, it is almost lunch time.  No wonder why I can’t sleep, it is too light out and now I’m hungry.  With my stomach growling, I climb out of bed and grab left over lasagna out of the fridge to warm up. 

“Great.  I guess I am just going to have to learn how to cook.” I mutter under my breath and then wipe the sweat off my brow.

For some reason it is incredibly hot in the house today, so I open the kitchen window while waiting for my food to warm up in the microwave.  As I sit on the stool, I stare at a Jay that is perched on the nearest branch.  It’s a pretty little thing, with its shockingly blue feathers.

When I hear the microwave beep, I stand up and stretch my long legs. “At least I have that going for me.” I state to myself. 

What is it the doctor said?  Oh, forget it.  I don’t want to remember the conversation right now, because I am sure he was not looking at my face when he was saying it.  Matter fact, I know he wasn’t.  Ugh.

After eating the left-over lasagna, my stomach stops growling and my eyes start to close.  So, I finally return to my bed and lie my head on the pillow again.  This time, my eyes close instantly, and as I drift off to sleep, one thing and one thing only pops in my head.  “If I start to strip, will Kelley think any less of me?”

Sleeping through the rest of the day, I wake up at 10 p.m. and feel like taking on the world.  After calling my mom at the hospital and then talking with the doctors, I decide that this is the perfect time to venture to the city and check out how to become a stripper.  I had tried to use a search engine to find out, but all it brought up was movies that had stripping in the titles.  Not what I was going for obviously.

Since I have no idea, I figure that I might as well go to a strip club with Amanda, and maybe it will give me inspiration.  Besides, I happen to know when we hang out together, everyone thinks we are gay.  That could come in handy because it could dissuade men from hitting on me.

As I call Amanda, I happen to start to think that this might not be such a good idea.  If anyone in our little neck of the woods finds out I am thinking of stripping, it would cause all kinds of trouble.  Not to mention, if my mom only knew that her only daughter was about to show her body to the whole world for money, she may think I am going to hell.

“Hey, it’s me.  I have a problem and I need some help.” I hesitate to ask because I know exactly what she will say when I tell her.

“What’s up?” She sounds tired and I hate to drag her into this, but she is the only one I can count on now.

“My mom had a heart attack and the hospital told me that if I don’t come up with several hundred thousand dollars within the week, they will kick her out and she will die.  They are afraid of her getting an infection, because they had to open her chest and do heart surgery last night.” After saying it, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

“Oh my.  I am so sorry Dani.  Is there anything I can do?  I mean, I don’t have that kind of money, but if you need support, I am here for you.” She sounds so sad when she says it, but then she sighs, and I hear the dead silence on the line.

“There is something you can do for me.  I need to go into the city tonight to check something out, but I can’t go alone.” I say quickly and hope that she understands when I tell her the rest.

“Are you in trouble, Dani?” I hear her say in almost a whisper before I spit it out finally.

“No, well yeah.  In a way.  I need to get a job, so I figured I could check out a few things tonight in the city.  The doctor at the hospital suggested that I get a job stripping.  He said that I could make the money quickly.” Just telling her this, makes me feel like my I.Q. is dropping.

There is silence on the phone and then she says softly, “Are you sure, Dani?  I know you are still a virgin.  Is this really the best thing for you?  I mean, I just don’t think you have enough expertise in something like this, and what if you get up on the stage and the men don’t like the way you move?  You can’t handle rejection at all, Dani.” I hear the warning in her voice, but I know I must do this for my ma.

“I don’t have a choice.  If I don’t pay the bill, she dies.” My voice fades off while I think of what to wear.

“Well, if you are dead set on this, make sure you have your mace.  I would hate to think of you lying in some darkened alley, after a man has raped you.” The dark image flashes through my head before she continues, and it scares me to my core.  “Fine, let me get ready and I will be at your house in a half an hour.”

While I wait for her to arrive, I pick out an outfit to die for.  My long red dress that has a lunging neckline and a slit up the thigh that stops at my hip.  You can’t wear underwear with it because it shows.  The last time I wore it, was last year at my birthday bash.  Amanda convinced me to wear the dress and I was glad when Kelley seemed to be very appreciative of it.

After stepping into it, I stare into my full-length mirror and admire the reflection before me.  I guess, if I must strip, at least I have the body for it.  As I think it, I brush my long chestnut brown hair and make sure that my makeup doesn’t look too trashy.

When I hear the doorbell ring, I pull on my high heels and try to walk as carefully as I can.  I have never been one for them, but this dress and this journey I am about to embark on, calls for them.  So, as I answer the door, I wonder one thing.  How long can I walk in these before I kill my feet?  Or twist my ankle this time?

Laughing at myself, I open the door and look Amanda up and down.  She is beautiful, she always has been.  That is why she has found herself pregnant and with so many men vying for her attention.  I on the other hand, usually wander away from the crowd and try to find my own little space to be in. 

“Wow, you look so beautiful tonight, Amanda.  No one would ever guess that you are four months pregnant.” I state in awe of her as she stands there in a designer dress, that looks like a second skin on her.

“Well, thanks to Nathan.  He brought it home the other day because he likes to roll play and then you can guess what happened next.”  After she states it in an excited tone, she rolls her eyes and smirks.

“Hmm. Lemme guess.  He wanted you to be a stripper.” I say while humoring her and laughing at the same time.

As I grab my purse and a light jacket, I shut the door behind me and then we walk to her car.  On the way, she nods and says, “Yeah, that is why this is whole thing is so ironic.”

Smiling, I wonder what he made her do when they role played, but I don’t dare ask.  Knowing her, she would tell me everything and then I would just get jealous.  She loves him and that is what counts in this world.

After getting in the car, I stare out the window for a few minutes until she leans over and turns the radio on low.  “So, how we going to play this one?  Should we just walk in and pretend we own the joint?  Or shall we sit back and watch the natives have their fun until you are comfortable enough to do your thing girl?” She gives me a funny glance and then returns her attention to the road.

“I don’t know.  I haven’t thought it through that far yet.  Honesty, I think I should watch and learn.  If we see some guy who looks like he owns the joint, maybe I will ask him if he has any job openings.” 

The minute I say it, she starts laughing her ass off.  “Wait a minute, nah.  Wait a minute.  You are going to walk up to the owner of the club, and just ask if he has a job opening?  That sounds so messed up.” She keeps laughing and then when she realizes I am dead serious, she stops and glances over at me.

When she does, we both bust up laughing and the rest of the trip we sing to the radio in our best screechy voices.  By the time we get to the city, it is after midnight.  All the hookers are standing on the street corners and the Joe’s are driving up to pick them up for a quickie. 

Amanda finds a parking spot at one of the strip clubs and says, “Well, this looks like just as good a place as any.  Shall we?” We get out and she locks the car before we walk to the club.

Turning to me she asks, “Are you sure you want to do this?”  I nod, and then we both walk up to the entrance and open the door.

Once inside, the smoke instantly hits me, and I start to cough.  One thing about living in the country, is that the air is clean at least.  It may have its downside too, but at least the air is always fresh and smells like flowers or freshly cut grass.

Smiling, I glance at Amanda and then take a hold of her hand when an older gentleman starts to stare at me.  His eyes wander to my breasts automatically, and then I see that same old lust in his eyes that I saw in the doctors.  Maybe if we play gay here, they will leave us alone for at least a little while.

Seeing that they have a bar, we walk over to it hand in hand.  At first, there isn’t a place to sit, so we stand, and then Amanda spots two seats that just happen to open.  When I take a seat, I scan the room and note that the bartender looks very handsome with his long black hair and that smile that says spread your legs for me.

Noticing that we don’t have a drink, he walks over and asks, “What can I help you two ladies with?  You look like you both need a stiff drink if you get my drift.” His eyes wander to mine, and he starts to stare before I get a chance to answer.

Someone walks up behind us and then states, “Their drinks are on the house, Mikey.  They are my guests, tonight.”

“Alright, Mr. Knight.  Whatever you say.”