Ch 6 — Are you in love with me?

SAMANTHA 

“I…” I stuttered, feeling the burn in my chest as I threw my gaze to the space beside me on the bed. My eyes caught my bra smiling wickedly at me and I hissed, feeling embarrassed. 

How could I be so careless? How could I be so careless that I even moaned out his name?

“You…” I heard Matt cleared his throat and I lazily moved my gaze back to him. I swear, Matt looked nervous as he bent over to pick up his phone. “You didn't lock the door, I'm sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” I hissed after asking that stupid question. Even I know that was a stupid question to ask him. Of course, he walked in on me masturbating, in his home, and his name was what came out of my mouth. He definitely shouldn't have heard that.

“I knocked.” he swiftly turn, pointing at the door before turning his gaze back at me. “You didn't answer and I should have turn away but I entered and…” it seemed it was so hard for him to say what I was doing because he dragged his bottom lip between his teeth and chewed on it.

"Why are you here?" I stammered, the heat of embarrassment rising in my cheeks. I couldn't bring myself to move my eyes off his gaze, and I wished the ground would swallow me whole. I frantically tried to think of a way to change the subject, anything to avoid the awkwardness of the moment.

"Dinner," he grumbled, turning back to the door. "I'm trying to make us dinner. What do you want to eat?" He sounded depleted and frustrated.

The thought of Matthew Cruz, the school's most popular bad guy, making me dinner seemed too good to be true. But I couldn't deny the warm feeling in my chest at the idea. "Anything," I replied, my voice breathy and a little too high-pitched. "I'm not picky, I promise." I tried to keep my tone casual, but my excitement was obvious.

"Alright," he said, nodding and casting a quick glance in my direction. But then he shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts, and walked out the door. His abrupt departure left me feeling unsettled.

“Samantha!” I cried out, grabbed my cheeks and gave them a light pinch. “What have you done?”

I fell back to bed, my eyes on the white ceiling as I wondered what was Matt's mind as he saw my…

“Fuck.” I hissed, rolled out of bed and tossed my shirt away. “What if he hate the size of my…” I winced as I stared down at my boobs.

“Not again.” I shook my head, covered my boobs with my palms as I headed to the bathroom. As if trying to redo what happened from five minutes ago.

After spending an absurdly long time in the bathroom, I finally got dressed and grabbed my phone. I hesitated in the doorway, taking a deep breath before stepping out of my room. I didn't know what to expect when I saw Matt again, and I was nervous about what he might say.

"I was beginning to think you'd decided to live in the bedroom forever," Matt said with a smirk, carrying a tray of food out of the kitchen. He was obviously teasing me, but I couldn't help but feel self-conscious. I tried to brush it off, hoping he wouldn't notice my blush.

The old, confident Matt was back, the one who would never have been fazed by seeing a half-naked woman. It was a welcome change from the awkward and serious Matt I'd seen early after catching me moaning his name with my hands on my boobs.

“And why would I?” I grumbled as I walked past him to the dining room. “Don’t even think of bringing that up, that was a mistake.” 

“I figured.” he chuckled as he rounded the table and dropped the tray.

“Whatever.” I mumbled to myself as I pulled out a chair and sat down.

Matt didn't say anything else as he set the table, his biceps flexing as he placed the food on the plates. I couldn't help but notice how strong he looked, the muscles in his arms rippling under his t-shirt. I quickly averted my gaze, feeling a little embarrassed to have been caught staring.

Matt slowly lifted his head, his eyes meeting mine with a cocky smirk on his lips. I felt my cheeks flush as I realized he had caught me ogling his biceps. 

"Enjoying the view?" he asked, his voice low and amused. I opened my mouth to reply, but no words came out. I was at a loss for words, feeling flustered and embarrassed.

"Oh, if you're talking about the food, then yes, I'm enjoying the view," I said, trying to play it cool. But the moment the words left my mouth, I wished I could take them back. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth and my lips felt dry. I was nervous, and I was sure he could tell.

"You're quite welcome," Matt said with a wink, taking the seat across from me. He pulled the plate of spaghetti towards himself, his biceps flexing as he did so. I looked away, hoping he wouldn't notice me staring again. But it was hard not to notice him, with his confidence and charm.

I stabbed my fork into my plate and speared a piece of spaghetti with my fork, taking in the aroma before taking a bite. I couldn't help but moan in delight at the taste - it was divine. I savored each bite, relishing in the flavor and texture of the pasta. Each mouthful felt like a small piece of heaven.

“I hope he's as tasty as his food is.” I mumbled to myself as I darted out my tongue to wipe the sauce that smeared my lips.

I heard a low, strangled sound coming from across the table, and I looked up to see Matt staring at me with his mouth hanging open. His hand trembled as he held his fork, the tines rattling against the plate. 

In one swift motion, the fork dropped from his hand and clattered onto the table. I could feel the blush rising to my cheeks as I realized what had just happened; I had made him lose his grip. Or maybe it wasn't me.

“Ah,” Matt groaned, dipped his hand in his pants pocket and brought out his phone. “Wanted to call you earlier but I realized I didn't have your contact.” he pushed the phone to me before looking away, he was obviously avoiding my gaze.

“Okay,” I dragged my bottom lip between my teeth and bit down on it. “Here.” I stretched the phone back to him after punching in my digits.

“Good.” he groaned, retrieved the phone from my hand without so much as looking at me. “Now I don't have to see any of those…” he smacked his teeth together as if not wanting to remember what he had saw in my room.

I didn't say anything other than forcing the tasty food down my mouth.

“That guy from the hallway…” Matt tilted his head, as if asking me to remind him of my best friend’s name and I did.

“Oliver?” I arched my brows and he slowly nodded his head.

“What is he to you?” he grumbled and slowly pinched the back of his neck. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“No!” I slapped a hand over my mouth at how high my voice came out than I had intended. I tightened my grip on my fork and sighed. “You are mistake. Oliver is a gender non-conforming person, and he's not my boyfriend.”

Matt seemed to be assessing my reaction, his eyes narrowing as he leaned back in his chair. "Good," he said, his tone flat. He crossed his arms over his chest, and I had the sense that he was not pleased with my response. "Just to be clear, I don't want you going out with anyone I don't know about. You're under my care, and I need to know who you're spending time with." His words were firm, leaving no room for negotiation.

"Why do you even care?" I grumbled, rolling my eyes and stabbing my fork into my plate. "It's not like you would do the same." I knew my words sounded harsh, but I couldn't help but feel a bit bitter. 

"I could introduce you to all my monthly flings, but I'm sure you already know them all." He smirked, his eyes glinting with mischief. 

I frowned, not sure if I should be offended or impressed by his confidence. On the one hand, it was a little arrogant. On the other hand, it was kind of impressive. Either way, it was clear that he wasn't going to take my feelings seriously.

"Whatever," I snapped, my tone dripping with sarcasm. "I don't need to know who you're screwing." My words were harsh, and I could feel my temper rising. My hand trembled, and I set my fork down on the table with a clatter. I glared at Matt, my jaw clenched in anger. I knew my response was petty, but I couldn't seem to control my emotions.

"Easy," he said, chuckling. "If you keep going like that, I might start to think you're in love with me." He smirked, and I tried to keep a straight face. But when he stopped laughing and leaned forward, the look in his eyes was intense. 

"Or are you really in love with me?" he asked, his tone shifting from playful to serious. I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I..." I wanted to deny it, to say I wasn't in love with him. But as I opened my mouth to speak, I found that I couldn't form the words. All I could manage was a shaky, "I..." as I looked into his eyes, trying to make sense of what I was feeling.

I bit my tongue, and Matt continued to stare at me, his ocean-blue eyes seeming to penetrate my soul. I felt myself going speechless, lost in the depth of his gaze. It was as if time had stopped, and all that existed was the two of us, staring at each other.