I want my mate happy and whole, but the selfish, possessive part of me, wants her happy and whole by my side and not find comfort or love with another wolf. Her fingertips graze my skin butterfly soft at first, testing the waters. Still, I shiver. Fuck, if my mate keeps touching me like this, especially so close to my cock, everyone in the room will know I’m turned on. There will be no hiding, my hard, naked dick from their eyes. I force myself to keep my eyes open and not moan as she spreads the salve beneath my navel, then follows the line of my hip bones. Then up my abs and my chest liberally. Back down south again to make sure she hasn’t missed a spot. I imagine the feel of those soft, pretty hands of hers much lower. Pumping my cock in her silk touch. I’m going to get erect with a fucking audience and I try and think of something to turn me off. Anything to distract myself from my mate’s wandering fingers, especially now that my pain is being dulled as the pain meds kick in.
It starts to drizzle as I make my way home. The warm rain mixes with my tears. My head is a jumbled mess of feelings, of warring emotions. Part of me wants to turn around and run back to my mate and never leave his side again. To tell him I’ve always loved him and I forgive him. To be together. I feel the intense rush of love for Slade, even now. But the other part of me is mad as hell and hurt beyond belief. And right now, that side is winning. Because my mate doesn’t want me. And he never did. And he never will.All these years I loved him, but he doesn’t feel the same. This mate bond was forced upon him unwillingly, and he doesn’t accept it. I accepted it long before I even fully understood it, I dreamed of my wolf, I loved him from afar, and when I saw him again, it all clicked and fell into place for me. Things felt right and made sense for the first time in a long time. But my mate left his home, his family, his whole damn life, to stay away from me for ten long years. Slade w
My sister grips the side of the tub and let’s out an exasperated sigh. I can’t help but smile.“You just really want to go into town today, don’t you?” I challenge her.Our original plans for today before I ran over Slade, was to hit Portland for a day of shopping and taking the cubs to an indoor play gym. River, Willow, Phoenix, and Celeste were all willing companions for today’s excursions, while Clay took more convincing. Little Nyx sealed the deal when he told the man-cub there was a foam pit where we were going. The pack won’t let she-wolfs leave the safety of Shadow Ridge without male escorts. I understand this rule is necessary as hunters often target them. Celeste was cleared to leave pack lands chaperoned within a year of her first shift at the age of twelve, because my sister learned remarkable control over her wolf early on. Many pubescent wolves are often grounded to pack lands for two to three years in their most volatile times, after their first merges until they maste
Needless to say, it isn’t easy to get any sleep in the healing cabin. Not just because I’m in pain, the cot beneath me is harder than the forest bed, but I can’t stop thinking about my mate. That look in Sloane’s eye when she accused me of denying the mating bond because she isn’t good enough, the tears I saw there. I hurt her badly though I never meant too. The guilt is fucking eating me from the inside out. Worst of all, there is some truth in her words. Much truth.But if anything, I’m the one who isn’t good enough for her. And now I don’t know how to make things right. I’m not sure my mate will ever forgive me and accept our bond. She was right to walk away. My pride has cost me nearly everything. The pain medications numb the bond, but it still hurts like hell. Because I already know the things my mate is feeling. Olive busies herself with tasks around the cabin. She checks up on me frequently and watches me with keen eyes. Though she doesn’t say much. The silence is thick. And
It’s hard to get some privacy not just living with a toddler, but also with a wolf pack. Nudity is not something that wolves give much thought too, it’s natural to them, so they have some issues with personal boundaries when it comes to being naked. Also, with their superior sense of smell, it’s hard to hide things from them which really sucks at times. They’ll know when someone is on their period, pregnant before the mother physically shows, when a she-wolf is in heat (thank God I’m excluded from that), can smell many sicknesses and diseases, when someone is turned on, or very strong emotions that trigger the release of hormones such as adrenalin, testosterone, or oxytocin. Wolves are like, living, breathing lie detector tests and private investigators rolled into one.So, my best friend Lark gives little thought to entering my bathroom while I’m still marinating in the tub. I lost most of my dignity and modesty a while ago. I still remember the first time a member of the pack other
I finish up lunch, and Lark volunteers to drop it off to Slade. I’m a bit anxious sending her near my mate and sharp objects. But I’m not ready to face him again just yet. Lark hasn’t seen her cousin in ten years so I’m sure they have some things to catch up on. Slade grew up nice, I’ll give that bastard that much credit. I’m glad he traded those brown spikes in for a sexy fade cut and the perfect amount of stubble along his sculpted jaw line, and those green eyes of his only got more bedroom worthy with time. Being his mate would be hard enough because the man looks like a fucking underwear model. And I look like a girl trying to play grown up, at times I feel like such an imposter in more ways than one.After lunch I force down, I have some cuddles with my baby while CeCe texts her friends and takes over the living room TV to watch bad reality shows. She gets a hold of Willow and River, and despite the events of last night, they decide to continue with our original plans, though la
Father stays by my sick bed for the next hour or so, filling me in on all the shit I’d missed over the past decade. Our pack has lost three elders to old age since I’ve been gone, and one young wolf before his time to an attack by an enemy pack while fighting over a she-wolf. Another brother fell to hunters on the other side of the country while visiting his first grandchild. I missed my own cousin’s return to the sky ceremony all those years ago, which showed a great disrespect to his memory. Wolfe gave his life to help rescue my mate and bring down the rogue responsible for so much pain and death. I have missed out on the last good years of my grandfather’s life. Wasn’t there to watch the start of the latest few little Ironclaws or see several cousins of mine go from cubs to shifted wolves receiving the moon’s full blessing or finding their mates. I am a terrible brother, grandson, son, cousin, and nephew. I have let so many down and I hardly know where to start to try and make th
At least my mate still wants me in our dreams. Last night was the best one yet, the tone different than the others. The sex was good, but in a different way, Slade was gentle, he spoke the words I so longed to hear in my ear as we made, sweet love. There was nothing savage or feral in it, he didn’t take me hard and fast, but nice and slow the whole time. Every kiss and touch were with purpose and he took his time. My mate made me feel treasured and loved and wanted like never before. And those feelings carry over when I open my eyes in the morning.I smile, despite the ache in my head from getting wine drunk the day before, and the sunlight streams onto my face from the open blinds. I feel bathed in light, warm, glowing, a woman in love. I bask in this moment, the joy, the fast thrum of my heart, the butterflies in my stomach, and I never want it to end. I never want these feelings to fade. I love him and he loves me. Mates, forevermore.Between my legs burn and ache in the most wonde
I lie awake that night, with my mate’s body molded into mine. I was careful not to show her my fear when she told me she was carrying my cub again. Last time, in the days leading up to our daughter’s birth, I was a fucking mess. My mate sent me calming thoughts through the bond, even throughout our daughter’s birth, though I should have been the one to comfort her. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed, as Sage was born beneath the grove of Alder trees. I cried tears of not only joy, but also great relief, that the moon was in our favor that night.But the moon is not without mercy. Tonight, the moon grants me a dream. Of the things to come. Parts of me and Sloane’s story still being written. I am holding my mate’s hand, on the night of the spring equinox, when she births our twin daughters Ava and Caralee, both squalling into this world. Jack and Everest follow a few years after. I watch flashes of our cubs growing, chasing rabbits and fireflies in the woods, then ta
I open my eyes bathed in the sunlight. I first look to the crib that sets near my bed, but finding it empty, I do not panic. Next, I look to the clock on my phone. It is nine in the morning. Which means my amazing mate has let me sleep in again. Our baby girl Sage has an internal alarm clock that defaults every morning at six a.m. and her big brother Gauge is hardwired to awaken by seven thirty. Slade has gotten up with our cubs this morning and let me catch up on some much-needed rest.Juggling a four-month-old, a toddler, a part time job, an apprenticeship, and the final semester of nursing school is tough. But Slade makes everything easier. We are very much in a partnership and he’s a very hands-on Father. My mate doesn’t mind breaking traditional pack roles and being a stay-at-home Dad. His wood working business is really taking off. He makes custom made furniture right from the shed we set up outside our cabin. And the orders keep rolling in. He has a passion for it. After I grad
I make it halfway to town, before I slam on my brakes and turn around. What the fuck am I doing? My mate has just told me she is carrying my cub, and I act like an ass, and I leave her. This is happy news. A good thing. A new life the moon has blessed us with. I don’t need alcohol or anything else to numb this bond. I want to feel it fucking all. I take a final few sips of the wolfsbane in my flask, just enough so my mate’s mark scars my body. Then I roll down the window and toss the last of my wolfsbane deep into the trees lining the road. I have no need for it anymore. I need to go to my mate, to shower her with kisses, and beg for her forgiveness, tell her I am excited even though I am just as scared shitless. I will not lose her. And she is carrying my cub inside her. I’m going to be a father. I laugh. Damn, my seed is strong. I am a fucking Alpha getting my mate pregnant on the first shot right out of the gate.And I should know better by now, than to take anything for granted.
I curl up next to my son and try to sleep. But I know I won’t be able to rest until my mate returns. I trust in Slade’s promises that he will never leave me again. I push down my fears and insecurities. He just needs to take to his wolfskin and have a run beneath the moon. I can’t fault him for that. He will love our cub just as he loves Gauge. And our child will only strengthen the bond between us. I have nothing to worry about. But still, I can’t sleep and my heart beats harder in my chest.I kiss my sleeping son upon the brow and slip out from beneath the covers. I decide a hot bath is just what I need. I still have bits of forest clinging to my skin in places, smudges of dirt, though I don’t regret the beautiful act that took place between me and my mate beneath the moon. I watch the tub fill up. I’m just about to step out of my gown when I hear the creak of the wood from the porch. Slade is back. I smile. Perhaps he would like to join me in the bath.He has the key, so I shed my
I never knew it could feel like this. That I could love someone so much. And not just because I made love to my mate, marked her as my own, then she sucked my cock and swallowed my seed, but because she made me hers, and told me she loved me. Because of this, as I hold Sloane in my arms beneath the moonlight, I have no more lingering doubts about this mating bond between us.I graze her bare back up and down, as she is nestled against my chest. My mate burrows herself closer against me and lets out a contented sigh. I smile to the moon and breathe her in. I can smell my scent allover her and my wolf likes that very much. My wolf is content and happy I have finally claimed my mate the way the moon intended. The human part of me agrees. “Slade?” comes her voice against my chest.“Yes, my mate?”I still like the sound of it. The way it rolls off my tongue. Especially, after I never thought I would have a mate, let alone a human one.Her fingers trace my chest, “There’s something I need
I can’t believe this is finally happening. That all the things I’ve longed for, and dreamed about, are coming true. I’m tempted to pinch myself to make sure this is all real. That my mate has marked me, claimed me as his forevermore. Waves of pleasure wash over me after his bite. I spasm on the ground before him. My mate has barely touched me yet, and already I cum for him. Because what is passing between us now is so much more than just physical. Slade and I have connected on an emotional level. Fully given ourselves to each other. And now I long for us to physically join as well, to feel him inside me. What we did in the woods a couple weeks ago was amazing and all, but that was more about fulfilling a physical need between us. Releasing years of pent-up sexual tension. But tonight, beneath these trees, christened in moonlight, while nothing else exists except for my mate and me, I want more. I want the joining. I want Slade to make love to me.There is something unexpectedly tende
The night my mate accepted our bond and begged me to fuck her in the moonlight, was the best damn night of my fucking life. She was as tight and perfect as I always dreamed her to be. She fit around my cock as if we were made for each other. The noises I caused from that pretty mouth of hers, will live in my dreams forever more, and I can still taste her sweet pussy on my tongue. My mate is my new favorite delicacy, the best thing I’ve ever eaten. And I want more. I want to do more than just fuck her.Don’t get me wrong, fucking my mate is one of my new favorite things. But there is so much more I wish to do to her, with her. I don’t just want to fuck my mate, I want to make love to her. I have never made love to anyone in my life, that much has become clear since I fully surrendered to the bond. I want to experience sweet and slow love making, and with the one I actually love, the one the moon picked just for me. If only my mate will give me that chance to show her, I can give her s
I should feel happy the moon has blessed me with another child. Sooner than I expected, but all life is precious and has value. I’m scared Slade may not feel the same way. That this might all be too much for him too quickly. I want to have his child. I love Slade. And I will love our cub. But the timing just isn’t right.I know the results are accurate, but I can’t keep myself from tearing open the wrapper on the second test and trying again. This time the results are the same as before. I toss the tests into the little bin on the stall wall. I have to tell Slade. I just don’t know how or when. But my mate needs to hear it from me first, before he discovers this secret I’m keeping from him on his own.I drive back to Shadow Ridge in a whirlwind of emotions. I’m glad I have taken the calming tonic today so Slade can’t feel what a mess I am. I need to swing by Iris and Alder’s house to pick up Gauge for some cuddle time before my shift at the Deveraux’s house tonight. Slade is going to
I can hardly believe two weeks have already passed since Slade proved to me his dreams were so much better than mine. My mate did not disappoint in the forest that night. He exceeded all my expectations to say the least. I can still feel the bite of his teeth upon my breasts, hear the pop when his hungry mouth released my nipple, and the pinch of his fingers against my engorged clit at that perfect place between pleasure and pain.He didn’t mark my skin in the way of the claiming, but he left other evidence of him ravishing my body behind alright. My wolf tasted all parts of me, leaving no skin untouched, and most of me with love bites. My back bore the scratches of the tree bark for a week after. I had to get creative to figure out a way to apply the salve to myself to speed up the healing.Now, when my life becomes monotonous especially, when a professor’s lecture drones on about muscle groups or disease processes, I daydream about that night beneath the moon with my mate. His powe