"Bakit tayo nandito? Do you love flowers or you considered garden as your favorite place?"
Nilibot namin pareho ang paningin sa iba't ibang sulok ng garden na 'to. It's my first time to visit the hospital's garden since I never liked to roam around when the first time I get here. But in all the place that I want to visit always is the garden. It's just that, it feel so calming and relaxing. Napakagandang pagmasdan ng mga bulaklak at syempre ang feeling na tinatapak mo 'yong mga paa sa bermuda grass.
Seems like I'm in a paradise.
"You're right. I love gardens. Dito kase sobrang peaceful at saka amoy na amoy mo ang sariwang mga bulaklak." I closed my eyes, feeling the heat of the sun and the cold winds blowing on my hair.
He held my hand and brought me somewhere."I love the sea. Mas gusto ko kaseng napapanood ang mga nagsasayawang mga alon at ramdam ko rin ang hampas nito sa mga paa ko. But do you know what's the similarities? We're standing in the sa
"Anak, gumising ka na! Pakiusap, nag-aalala na kaming lahat sa'yo. Hindi kami uuwi hanggat hindi ka pa gumigising."What's happening? Why am I hearing sobs beside me? Why is it like I felt there's an oxygen on my mouth again?"M-Mama... P-Papa..." Hindi ko maidilat ang mga mata ko at ang kamay ko naman ay parang namamanhid."Oh my gosh! She's awake! Call the doctor! She needs a check up!" I heard Ate Casyn's voice echoing in the whole room.She's here? But, I thought she's working? Why am I hearing some voices? Mukhang marami silang nandito."Lumabas muna kayong lahat para ma-check ko ang kalagayan ng pasyente. I'll call you if it's okay to see her." Another voice interrupted and I think it was the doctor.Naramdaman kong tinanggal niya ang oxygen sa bibig ko at nakakahinga naman ako ng maluwag. Tinaas niya rin ng konti ang magkabilang kamay ko at parang mabigat pa ng konti sa pakiramdam. Binuksan niya rin ang m
"Yay! Namiss ko ang bahay natin. 'Yong mga gamit, amoy ng sofa at mga unan, pati ang lasa ng luto ni Mama. I missed all of this!"Nilibot ko ang paningin sa buong bahay namin at napapikit na lang dahil sa saya na naramdaman ko. God! This what feels at home. I always pray to God for countless of times just to let me go home. A hospital, that place really sucks."Baby, 'wag ka munang malikot. The doctor said that you have to rest after you get home. Umakyat ka na muna," utos sa'kin ng strikto kong boyfriend.Tumango naman ako at akmang kukunin ang bag na buhat niya nang iniwas niya ito sa'kin. He gestured me to climb upstairs first so I did. Nakasunod lang naman siya sa'kin dala ang mga gamit ko pero pagkabukas ko ng pinto ay pinauna ko na siya dahil mabigat ang dala niya."Baby, aalis ka na? Do you have something to do?" tanong ko sa kanya.He turned around to face me after putting my luggages back."Today's Friday so I'm gonna spend my t
"Ma, Pa, kanina pa kayo tahimik. Is there any problem? You can tell me, I'll listen."Hindi na kase ako mapakali na parang wala silang ganang kumain pareho. They were already like this even when Caseth bid goodbye to them. Maybe he didn't noticed but I did. Kilala ko ang mga magulang ko kapag may mali o may problema sila, parang hindi sila mapakali at sobrang tahimik.I swear, something's wrong with them. I could smell something fishy."Wag mo na lang kaming pansinin, anak. Kumain ka na, wala lang 'to." Pinilit ni Papa na kumain pero alam ko namang wala talaga siyang gana."Seriously? Ano wala lang, Pa? You two look so bothered. May hindi ba kayo sinasabi sa'kin?" nakakunot noo kong tanong sa kanila.Nagkatinginan silang dalawa pero kalaunan ay si Mama ang sumagot."Mas mabuting ang sarili mo na lang ang isipin mo, Shara. May problema nga kami pero hindi naman gano'n kalaki at maaayos din namin 'to. Hindi mo na kailangang mag-alala pa."
"Magsisimba tayo, Caseth. Kapag simba ang pag-uusapan, hindi ako aabsent d'yan. But I already had one absent last Sunday when I was in the hospital."He chuckled softly while combing my hair, looking at me in the mirror. I told him to come here earlier in the morning because I forgot to tell him yesterday. Gusto ko siyang isamang magsimba kaya naghahanda na kami. We're both ready even though it's just 7:00 in the morning. It's better than to be late in the second mass."Baby, saan tayo pagkatapos magsimba? I want to spend the rest of our time together. Magpapaalam naman ako kina Mama at Papa, eh."I saw him pouting in the mirror that's why I laughed a little. Ang cute niya, sobra. He even enjoyed calling my parents like that. Wala namang kaso sa'kin 'yon at ng parents ko dahil ilang beses na rin naman nilang narinig sa kanya 'yon.Nilagay ko ang hintuturo sa labi ko na para bang nag-iisip."How about sa park? The place where we had our first date? Namimis
"You're taking her to the shop where we usually go shopping when we're still together? My god, Cahleen! Tapos ikaw pa ang nagbabayad sa mga gusto niya? Yucks!"Kung kanina pa ako naiinis, pwes kanina pa rin ako nagtitimpi. This parasite keeps on interrupting our date. Hindi ko nga alam kung matatawag pa ba namin 'to na date dahil may third wheel na sunod nang sunod sa'min. Caseth couldn't do anything and so as me. Hindi naman siya nakikinig kahit na ano pang sabihin ni Caseth sa kanya. If I know, she's just pretending not to be affected by his hurtful words."Shut the fucking up you motherfucker! This shop wasn't yours and I can bring her wherever I want to. Kung naiinggit ka, pwede ka namang umalis." He pulled my hand gently but this parasite holds his other hand too."B-But, I just want to be with you---""Sorry for interfering but he doesn't wants to be with you. Hindi mo pa napapansin
"Tama na sabi eh! Maureen, you're already drunk! Matutulog na tayo, ano ba!"Pinilit ko siya akayin patayo dahil nakasubsob siya sa mesa na puno ng nagkalat na pagkain. She brought wine and I just let her drink it because I thought that she won't get drunk. Limang shots pa lang nainom niya samantalang tatlo pa ang akin pero kahit na ako ay nahihilo na rin.Damn this freaking wine!"Alam mo? May kasamang ibang babae si Ziro kanina. Sabi niya friend niya lang pero hindi ako naniniwala." She kepts on pointing me as if she's telling me her problems.Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at kinuha ang baso ng wine sa kanya."Tawagan mo kase bukas tapos linawin mo kung ano ba talaga ang totoo. Nakakamatay ang maling akala, Mau. At saka, kayo ba?"She suddenly cried in front of me so I panicked, don't know what to do. May nasabi ba akong mali sa kanya o sadyang tinamaan lang talaga siya sinabi ko.Am I that bad to her?"Pero n
"Shara! Tumigil ka na nga sa kakalakad ng pabalik balik. Nahihilo na talaga ako sa'yo kanina pa."Who could blame me?Ever since Caseth left on the way to the hospital, I didn't get any text message or even a voice mail from him. Sinabi ko sa kanyang balitaan kaagad ako pero hindi niya naman sinasagot ang mga tawag at chats ko. I'm starting for feel nervous right now."Mau, hindi mo ba talaga siya nakita sa school? Even his friends? Did you talk to Ziro?" sunod-sunod kong tanong sa kanya.Kumunot naman ang noo niya."Ziro and I did talked but its about us. Hindi rin nila kasama si Caseth kase nga absent siya nang hindi siya dumating hanggang sa mag-recess na. Mukhang wala rin silang alam sa nangyayari."Nang matapos ang klase nila ay tinawagan ko kaagad si Mau para puntahan ako rito saglit sa bahay. I thought Caseth told his friends kanina about sa nangyari kay Ate Casyn pero hindi pala. Maybe he just called them after classes. I don't k
"Bess, alam kong nag-aalala ka na pero hindi ka naman pwedeng pumunta. If there is a problem, maybe he's not telling you because he can handle it on his own. Alam mo namang ayaw niya na mag-alala ka."Nagpaiwan si Maureen pagkatapos ng bonding naming magkakaibigan. She wants to accompany me since I'm starting to overthink right now. Two whole days. Dalawang araw na siyang hindi nagpaparamdam kaya paanong hindi ako mag-aalala?!How could he resist not to even text me just once?!"Alam mong hindi gano'n 'yon, Mau. I only need one text or call from him but he couldn't even do that. Pinagmumukha niya kase akong tanga eh. Dalawang araw na akong hindi mapakali dahil sa mga nangyayari. I'm his freaking girlfriend. Of course, I have the right to know what's going on! Bakit? Dahil ba wala akong silbi? Pinapamukha niya ba sa'king wala akong kayang gawin?! Huh? Is that it?" I messed up my hair because of madness.Wala naman akong nakikitang mali kung sab
"Congratulations for passing the board exam in US biggest college University , Mr. Monteserio. You can start in Monday."I just gave the professor a small smile before getting the result of my exam. It was perfect. I know it. Pinaghandaan ko ang lahat ng 'to para makapag-aral ako sa US kahit first year ng college lang. I just want to grant her wish, to achieve my goals in life.Studying in US is my first ever dream. I planned to bring her when we graduated but I failed to do it. I sighed in frustration and packed all my things. Alam kong ngayon ibibigay ang resulta at kapag nakapasa ako, saka lamang ako aalis papuntang US. Matagal na akong atat na pumunta ro'n but I can't just leave my studies here. Actually, I graduated two months ago. Bilis 'no.Napaaga ang pag-take ko ng board exam para sigurado na. I will get a new condo when I got there and I make sure that she's just near with me."Sigurado ka nang ngayon na ang alis mo? Si mom and dad k
"How are you feeling? Do you need something? Baby, you can tell me."Lumabas saglit ang parents ko kasama ang doctor habang 'yong mga kaibigan ko ay napilitang umuwi dahil gabi na talaga. Except for Maureen who doesn't have plan on leaving me especially in my situation right now. I couldn't blame her because she's just worrying about me. Gusto ko rin namang nandito lang siya dahil baka kung anong mangyari sa'kin at sa huling pagkakataon ay makita ko man lang siya.I nodded at him slowly."I-I'm okay. M-Matulog... ka na. Kailangang.. m-mong magpahinga."Ever since I collapsed earlier, my body gets really weaker than ever. Like, I couldn't move my body that easier. I only control my hands but not that easier too."Baby, magpapagaling ka, ha? Ate Casyn will visit you tomorrow so you'll better not give up. She wants to talk to you too." Mahigpit niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko at hinalik-halikan ito.I gave him a small smile and nodded even th
"I just missed you that's why I decided to come here. Hindi mo naman sinabi ang lugar na pupuntahan niyo kaya naghanap na lang ako kung saan posible."The boys knew that they arrived earlier when we were gone to change our clothes. Hindi naman sana sila tumatanggap ng ibang guests but since Jelo is a nice guy and they are close to them, he didn't hesitate to let them enter. Nasa iisang hotel pa kami na tutulugan pero syempre, ibang rooms sila."What about that grocery thingy? Is that a lie? Ang sabi sa'kin ni Ate Casyn lumabas kayo ni Ashley para mag-grocery. What was that?" nakataas kilay kong tanong sa kanya.Sumimangot naman kaagad siya."That was true, she didn't lie. Bago ko siya sinamahang mag-grocery, naka-impake na ang mga gamit ko no'n. And when we get back to the house, I told them that I'm going to have my favor since I agreed to come with her. Don't be mad, baby. Hindi naman namin kayo iistorbohin.""Talaga lang, huh? Hindi pala?" N
"Handa na ba ang dadalhin natin? We have to go now. Ilang oras pa tayo sa byahe."Kanina pa kami minamadali ni Kyla dahil atat na siyang makarating sa resort na pupuntahan namin. They decided to have a bonding in a resort para daw maiba naman. Ang sabi pa nila, palagi raw nilang nakikita sa mga posts ni Caseth sa Instagram ang mga pictures naming magkasama na nililibot ang city. Though, we will stay in the resort for only one day.Bilang na lang ang oras na meron ako kaya kailangan kong sulitin 'to ng pantay sa kanila. Tomorrow will be the last day and I'm going to spend it with my parents. Si Caseth, hindi siya sumama dahil bonding time raw naming magkakaibigan 'to pero halata namang ayaw niya akong iwan. He couldn't do anything but to stay with his family. Balita ko kase next week pa sila aalis ulit."How long will it take to get there? Malayo ba ang resort na pinili mo, Jelo?" tanong sa kanya ni Roses.He scratched his head lightly."Uh... Not tha
"Good morning, sleepy head. Mataas na ang sikat ng araw, kailangan mo nang bumangon. C'mon, baby."I groaned when I felt him kissing my head endlessly. Hindi niya talaga ako tinigilan hanggang sa magising ako kaya napasimangot na lang ako at umupo sa kama. I heard him chuckled and then seconds after, he's already hugging me.Mas nauna niya pa akong ginising kaysa sa alarm clock ko. If I know that he'll wake me up, I shouldn't have set my alarm clock. He slept with me here in my room. Though, he wanted to sleep on the floor instead in the couch or beside me. Gusto niya raw kaseng bantayan ang lahat ng kilos ko para siguradong okay ako.He let his parents know about my situation and I didn't ask him what's their reaction. Alam kong naiinis sila sa'kin dahil dito matutulog si Caseth pero wala naman silang magagawa dahil desisyon niya 'yon. He's still mad at them, though."Hmmm. Inaantok pa ako eh. You can wait me in the couch, give me 5 minutes,"
"Anong sasabihin mo, Shara? And why you look so pale? Are you alright?"Ngumiti lang ako ng tipid kay Racer nang makarating kami sa gazebo kung saan walang tao. Whenever I'm going to talk with him or Caseth in school, I always prefer this place not just because it's my favorite spot but also away from everyone. I can have a private talk with him whatever I want to say."I won't take this too long, Racer. Hindi na ako babalik dito simula bukas. I'll stop my studies," diretso kong sagot sa kanya.Kumunot naman ang noo niya."H-Huh? Why? I thought your friends will manage your school fees? Ayaw mo na bang mag-aral dahil sa sakit mo? 'Yon ba ang sabi ng parents mo o ng doctor?"Alam niya pala na kaibigan ko ang gumagastos sa'kin dito. If I know, it was the talk of the town here. Mabilis pa sa kidlat na kumalat ang balita dahil sa mga estudyante na mukhang reporters sa media."Yes, it's because I'm sick. Racer... I-I'm dying... My life will o
"Is that the reason why you don't want to talk to me, huh? Who told you that, baby? Wala akong pakialam kung ayaw nila sa'yo basta para sa'kin ikaw lang ang mahal ko."After what he'd heard earlier, he dragged me away from the cafeteria right after I ate lunch. Nilapag niya sa pwesto ko ang tray niya at hindi man lang kinain para lang dalhin ako rito sa gazebo at kausapin. He's mad, not on me but because of what I've said."It's not about who told me, Caseth. I saw it. I went to the hospital the night before to went to see me," matapang kong sagot.Bakas naman ang gulat sa mukha niya nang sabihin ko 'yon."Y-You were there? Sinong kasama mo? B-Bakit hindi ko alam?""How could you know? Sekreto lang naman ang pagpasok namin ni Maureen do'n dahil wala kaming karapatan na umakyat. It was restricted and they won't accept visitors who were not on the list. Kasalanan ko bang nag-aalala lang ako dahil para na akong baliw kakaisip ko anong nangyari sa
"Shara, baby, please talk to me. Hindi ko na kayang iniiwasan mo'ko. I'm begging you, stop ignoring me."Wala si Mama at Papa dito sa bahay pagkauwi ko galing school at hindi ko rin alam kung saan sila nagpunta. Alam kong hindi sila lumabas para bumili ng groceries dahil sagot na ni Mau 'yon lahat kahapon. Our stocks and refrigerator were all full so I don't have any idea where did they go.And this guy beside me, asking for forgiveness after four days of ignoring me. Ever since I arrived from school, he suddenly came and brought foods for me but it won't kill my anger towards him. Hindi niya ako madadala sa mga sorry at pagbibigay niya ng pagkain.He lied. He freaking ignored me like what I'm doing right now. Magtiis siya dahil nakaya niya naman akong tiisin na hindi pansinin ng apat na araw. I should be the one to take revenge now. I'm not going to talk to him nor even glance at him.I don't care!"Baby, hindi ko talaga sinasady
"Bess, alam kong nag-aalala ka na pero hindi ka naman pwedeng pumunta. If there is a problem, maybe he's not telling you because he can handle it on his own. Alam mo namang ayaw niya na mag-alala ka."Nagpaiwan si Maureen pagkatapos ng bonding naming magkakaibigan. She wants to accompany me since I'm starting to overthink right now. Two whole days. Dalawang araw na siyang hindi nagpaparamdam kaya paanong hindi ako mag-aalala?!How could he resist not to even text me just once?!"Alam mong hindi gano'n 'yon, Mau. I only need one text or call from him but he couldn't even do that. Pinagmumukha niya kase akong tanga eh. Dalawang araw na akong hindi mapakali dahil sa mga nangyayari. I'm his freaking girlfriend. Of course, I have the right to know what's going on! Bakit? Dahil ba wala akong silbi? Pinapamukha niya ba sa'king wala akong kayang gawin?! Huh? Is that it?" I messed up my hair because of madness.Wala naman akong nakikitang mali kung sab