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26. Sick of Thinking
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56
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Loving Jude 27. Bestie
“Nice seeing you, bestie. It’s not too late to come back •~•”I shift in my seat uncomfortably, cast a quick glance at Jude to make sure his full attention is on the road—it’s after practice and we are in his car, headed to the place he wants me to see—then look back down at my phone.I’m on Instagram, scrolling through his latest posts.The above comment is on his latest post, a picture which must have been taken sometime on Sunday. There’s him, standing between two girls—fellow models—with his hands wrapped around their waists.I click on the username beside the comment. It takes me to a profile of one of the girls in the picture. She has about half a million followers, and her wall is full of glamorous photos. Her name is Abby, she looks about 5’9, and her natural hair is long and curly, the ringlets falling to the middle of her back.I go back to her comment and check the replies.“You two look good together”“Bestie yeah right”“When are we getting a photoshoot with you two?”At
Loving Jude 28. Steamy
When Jude told me, a few minutes ago, that there was something I needed to see, I didn’t for a second think it could be this.When you’re a student on an unpaid internship and surviving on limited funds from the folks, living in an apartment with a rooftop swimming pool just doesn’t cross your mind.“You don’t look happy,” he says, scrutinizing my face. “I remember you loved swimming. Even if you didn’t quite know how to.”He remembers that?“You didn’t think this was worth mentioning?” I huff and cross my hands over my chest. “For the last time. How. Much.”“You just need to pay however much you were paying at your last apartment.”“There’s no way they cost the same. We didn’t have a rooftop swimming pool, and it was an old building. Not a sparkling new one in what appears to be a prime residential area.”“I’ll pay a larger percentage.”I shake my head instantly. “No way.” The last time I allowed someone more autonomy on a lease, she kicked me out at her own pleasure. He has already
Loving Jude 29. I'm Sorry
“But how come you had sex on a beach and never went skinny dipping? Didn’t you need to wash off the sand and all that?” Simon asks.“You can have sex on a beach and not get all sandy,” Isaac contributes. “Like if you’re standing against a—”“Your turn,” Jude cuts him off.This game was supposed to be fun, not awkward, right?“Okay,” Isaac says. “Never have I ever been on a blind date.”Simon’s the only one who takes a drink, after which he points at me accusingly. “It was a dare.”“Don’t act as if you didn’t enjoy it,” I tell him. “You kept her around for quite a few months.”He shrugs. “Well, she was hot. And we were into each other.”“Her more than you,” I point out.Her name was Amber, and she was quite a nice girl. She liked Simon and would have dated him but the moment he realised she was hoping for more, he ran. I wasn’t surprised, though.“Your turn, Walker,” Simon says, refusing to engage me on that.Jude holds his hand out. “Give me the phone.”Simon passes it, then bumps his
Loving Jude 30. End of a Chapter
“Don’t you think you should have told me you have never been to his house before allowing me to drive four hours to a town neither of us has ever been to?”We are at a gas station in Eli’s hometown. Jude is leaning against his car, giving me a thinly veiled glare as I type on my phone.“I thought Tori would reply to my message before we arrived,” I defend myself. “I guess she’s still mad at me.”He scoffs. “You think?”“I’ve texted Eli.”“You mean the guy who has been ignoring your calls and texts?”“I’ve told him I’m in his town. He won’t ignore that one.”“I suppose your stalking skills aren’t as good as I thought.”“Nope, not good enough to find someone’s address, get into their house, and into their bed.”“I regret telling you that story.”My phone rings in my hand, and I look to see it’s Eli calling. “It’s him,” I tell Jude before answering. “Eli?” I call into the phone.“Are you serious?” His voice is normal. Normal as in not crying or distressed.“Yes,” I reply. “I’m at…” I ste
Loving Jude 31. Bad Idea
“Why are you here?” Jude gives me a glance before looking back to the front. It’s about eight o’clock in the evening, and we’re stuck in traffic. We are only about twenty minutes away from our place, but with the crazy traffic, it could very well be a couple of hours before we make it back. It doesn’t help that it’s raining. “What?” “That night I told you I would date Eli anyway, you said there wasn’t any space for me to fill in your life anymore. So, besides wanting closure, why are you here?” His head turns towards me again. “Why are you suddenly asking about that?” “We have to talk about it sometime, no?” His attention goes back to the road as the cars in front of us begin moving. He rests one arm on the wheel as he drives forward, his other hand resting on his thigh. “Do you know why you were my obsession?” he asks. Well, I have a textbook idea, and that cannot compare to a personal explanation, can it? I shake my head. “No.” “You were my escape,” he says, his eyes still
Loving Jude 32. It's Complicated
You'd think that since we live together and basically work together for four hours every day, avoiding Jude would be hard. Well, I seem to have earned a doctorate in that category. I'm doing such a good job at it, I've gone two days without having to face him. By 'face him' I don't mean running into him. I've ran into him enough times. What with him waiting to ambush me outside the bathroom, at the elevator, and at the sports complex. Each time, I've managed to get away without much trouble. And that's without having to face him and addressing the reason as to why I'm avoiding him. I'm hoping that by now, he has given up. I want us to go back to a life where Sunday night never happened. A life where it isn't obvious I'm avoiding him. A life where I can sit calmly at the table and eat my breakfast in peace without calculating how to get out of the apartment before he leaves the bathroom. It's Wednesday, and I've just gotten back from the school. It's about six o'clock. I haven't see
Loving Jude 33. Getting There
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask, frowning. It’s Thursday evening and I’m on a video call with Nicki. Who’s lying in bed and doesn’t look like she has gone anywhere in days. She smiles…or attempts to. “I’m good. So, what’s the emergency?” “You look like you’re dying,” I point out. She cackles. “We both know I’ve looked way worse than this. For real though, girl. Don’t worry. Just had a couple rough days.” “How’s Steve?” Steve is this guy she has been seeing for a few months now. She met him while she was still undergoing rehab. “He’s not being an asshole, is he?” She makes a face. “I’m offended on his behalf. You know he’s a good guy, Jo.” I sigh. “Yeah, well. People change.” And she’s right. He’s a good guy. He’s good for her. Otherwise, her family wouldn’t let him a foot near her. Not after what happened with Cole. She rolls her eyes. “I should be the one with the trust issues, not you.” She wiggles her brow. “So, how’s you and Jude? When’s the wedding?” I give a dry laug
Loving Jude 34. Isn't this Getting Old?
The moment I see her appear and walk down the runway, I go speechless. Until now, I’ve been enjoying the night. Jude and I have front-row seats with an unobstructed view of the runway. The atmosphere here is exciting, and none of that anxiety I had when we first arrived at the venue is bothering me anymore. Well, that’s until she appears. But I wouldn’t call it anxiety. A whole lot of confusion, that’s what it is. Because Bethany Hill is the last person I expected to see tonight. I cast a glance at Jude to find his eyes glued to her. Then, as if he can sense me staring at him, he turns to me. Sighing visibly, he says, “She’s signed to my agency too.” I give him a disbelieving look. She is? “And you didn’t think to mention that?” I whisper, looking back at her. She has reached the end of the runway, where she does some poses before walking back up. I don’t miss it when her eyes land on Jude, a secret smile on her face. Oh my God. Jude has been around Bethany Hill all this tim
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Loving Jude Details on Book 3
To my lovely readers, We made it from a sad ending to a bittersweet one. Up next: the happy ending we all deserve. Loving Jude was going to be the final book. Initially, I intended to have an epilogue after Chapter 45 showing when Jo and Jude resumed the relationship. But that didn't feel right. After everything they have been through, I didn't feel good about wrapping up their story in a short epilogue. So I decided to make a third book. The title will be Forever Jude. It will be more about them actually being together, unlike the first two where they were working towards getting together. They'll also no longer be students, so you can expect a different kind of adventure. One that might end at the altar or with babies or dogs...who knows ;). Before I bring you the third book, however, I need to write a spin-off for Isaac and Ben (who saw that pairing coming? :) ). This is because their story happens before Forever Jude. Isaac's story will be titled "Fixing my Bad Boy Problem" and
Loving Jude 45. It'll Be Okay
I'm rinsing the glass when I feel his presence behind me. Before I can turn to look at him, his arms come around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. My body relaxes into his embrace instantly, my fingers releasing the glass. He turns his head and presses a gentle kiss to my ear. "I'll miss you so bad," he whispers, his voice rough. Him holding me like this and his voice in my ear does things to me. That pang in my chest spreads, turning into an ache I cannot suppress. "I'll try harder to get better," he tells me. "I'll do whatever my therapist asks if it means I get to be with you again quickly. So wait for me, okay?" I blink, fighting tears. "I'll be here," I assure him. It's not like I have anywhere else to go. Or anywhere that I want to go. I just want to be back in his arms as soon as possible. But however long it takes to be able to do that, I'll be here, waiting. "It'll be okay," he says, now kissing my temple. "It'll be hard loving you from a distance, but it'll all
Loving Jude 44. A Step Back
The first thing I notice when I open the passenger side door is the candy littered on the seat.Jude, who has already settled in the driver's seat, notices my hesitance to sit down. "Oh," he mutters, then scoops the candy from the seat and puts them in the glove compartment.I get inside and close the door. "I didn't know you still had a thing for candy.""I don't. I didn't. It's been a while.""Can I have one?""Now? So you can yell at me tomorrow when you get a sore throat?"I laugh. "You remember that?""I remember everything about you." He reopens the glove compartment and retrieves one that's wrapped in a green wrapper. He hands it to me. "You can have this. It has mint and whatnot. It's the kind used to relieve sore throats, not cause them."I take it, lifting an eyebrow. "You were all about cherry back then."He chuckles. "Well, the dentist said I need to rethink my sweet tooth.""Bad, bad dentist," I joke, to which he laughs as he starts the engine. The sound of his laugh is s
Loving Jude 43. I Love Her
The ride to the cliff seems like the longest I’ve ever taken, even though Ben’s motorcycle is super fast. It doesn’t help that I get the directions jumbled and we waste a few minutes going down the wrong road before I realise I directed him down the wrong turn.By the time we get to the cliff, my heart is beating painfully in my chest from the fear that has gripped me. The first thing I notice through the helmet’s visor is Jude’s blue car, parked near the cliff, like back then.Ben brings the motorcycle to a stop and I start fumbling with my strap. It gets undone and I pull it off just as he removes his.Before either of us can say anything, someone appears in the headlights of the motorcycle. Jude.My heart crashes in my chest. This time, in relief.He lifts his arm to his eyes, shielding them from the bright light. Ben mutes the lights.“Looks like your boy is okay,” he says.I can’t tell how I get off the motorcycle and across the distance between us.All I know is that I’m finally
Loving Jude 42. Can I Get a Name?
It’s ten o’clock at night, Jude isn’t back yet, and my nerves are eating me alive.I peek at my phone. There’s no new message. Not that I would have missed it with the frequency I’ve been checking.I tried to call him, twice.First when he had been gone for about four hours and I was beginning to get worried. My call didn’t go through. I tried again about half an hour ago. His phone was still unreachable.Maybe he needs time, I try to convince myself, biting on my nail. I get it. I tried to break up with him. He must be mad. He’s just pissed off and that’s why he turned off his phone.But despite telling myself that, I can’t calm down. Ugly scenarios keep jumping into my mind, and I can’t help it. Not after what Robbie told me…I dial his number again, praying fervently that it goes through.My heart jumps in my chest when his ringback tone sounds in my ear. I press my hand to my chest as it rings on and on. But then it stops. Cursing, I dial him again.I just want him to pick up so I
Loving Jude 41. The Truth
I meet Robbie on Tuesday afternoon in the lobby of the hotel she’s staying at. I’m supposed to be working, but I left early. She’s waiting when I get there, sipping some drink. Before she can see me, I come to a halt and study her. Her curly hair, her 5’2-ish height, the freckles on her cheeks. The pretty sundress she’s wearing. Looking at her, you wouldn’t think she has it in her to barge into someone’s house and attack them. She looks up and notices me. She waves her hand as if to catch my attention. I sigh and head over. “Jude said that you went back home,” I say as I take the seat opposite her and place my bag on the one next to mine. She shrugs. “That’s what he thinks.” Her lips press into a thin line, her eyes seeking mine. “I’m so, so sorry about yesterday. I thought—” I wave my hand, silencing her. “I know what you thought.” She nods slowly. “Will you have something to drink?” I shake my head. “No, I’m not planning to stay long. What did you want to tell me about Jude
Loving Jude 40. Something You Must Know
Two Weeks Later“Jude, we have to wake up at some point,” I mumble, lifting my face to look at him.His eyes flicker shut as he shakes his head. “Just a few more minutes,” he says. “Don’t worry, we won’t be late.”“It’s already eight and we haven’t even showered.”He nods, humming. “An hour is a lot of time.”“We also have to eat breakfast…”His blue eyes open and meet my gaze. My heart flutters in my chest as I look back at him. He looks especially adorable like this, early in the morning, with his hair tousled, a few strands brushing against his forehead. Soon, they’ll be long enough to reach his eyes.He groans. “Can we skip? I just want to lie here with that you, all day.”“Eager to get into coach’s bad book so soon?” I poke his arm. “You can’t miss today’s team meeting, it’ll be important.”We got back from camp on Saturday and it’s now Monday, the start of the last two weeks of training before we take a two-week break. The past two weeks have been magical. I managed to sneak into
Loving Jude 39. All Of You
Heat crawls up my neck and onto my face. He smirks and pushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear.“Still want to finish what we started in the bus?” he asks.I push my embarrassment aside and nod. My breath is already going askew in anticipation as his fingers trail lightly behind my ear and onto my neck.He releases my chin and takes my hand in his, then brings me around the side of the bed.My heart’s thudding violently in my chest. When I walked in a few minutes ago and kissed him, there were no nerves at all. Back then, I was operating on pure hormones. But that’s no longer the case. My arousal is not the only thing at work here—so is my brain.Jude sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me onto his lap, straddling him. His hand moves to the top of my bun and frees it, dropping my hair tie on the bedside cabin.Then, burying one hand in my hair, he brings me to him, his lips meeting mine. His kisses are soft, tender. His other hand drops to my waist, and he rests it on the small
Loving Jude 38. The Only One
I toss for the hundredth time, unable to fall asleep. I don't think that's going to be happening any time soon. My mind can't stop thinking about what happened on the bus. And my body doesn't want to let it go either. It's been at least four hours since that moment on the bus. We got to the hotel we'll be staying at, settled in our rooms, and had dinner. And through all that, all I wanted was to grab Jude, pull him somewhere private, and have him finish what he started. God knows when we'll get that chance. The thought that I might have to wait until we get back isn't a welcome one. Maybe when I wake up tomorrow, this horniness will be gone. All I need to do is fall asleep... I groan, pressing my face into my pillow so I don't wake Melissa, the massage therapist who's going to be my roommate for the next two weeks. What's this boy doing to me? My inner turmoil is interrupted by the sound of my phone buzzing. I reach for it quickly and check the text. Jude: I have some good new
