Oh, Kent. That was stupid.
It’s 2:00 on Saturday afternoon before I can even think about getting up. I had the biggest catering event that I’ve had so far last night. I catered the reopening of an art gallery, pushing out food for 100 people all night long. It was amazing. It was exhausting. It was lucrative. And I’m fucking proud of me and my staff. As my business has gotten bigger, I’ve been able to higher even more of my old colleagues. They were pissed about how they were let go by the Hayes and trying to get them to come back at the same rate wasn’t cutting it. I have servers, sous chefs, line workers, and even some of the dishwashing staff of my crew now. Even Jessie, my old assistant, is with me, running the office and helping with the business side of things. Most of the crew is back together from the Hayes. Jeff must be throwing a shit fit! Last night, the party lasted until 2 am and then clean up took until 3. I had to get the stuff back to our ghost kitchen (the professional kitchen we
I couldn’t believe it when I saw Kent and Justin together sitting at the breakfast table. I hadn’t thought that Justin would still be here . Typically, one night stands just slink out the door in the morning and head home. Cole may see them leaving if he’s getting up early for work, but they typically don’t interact. Maybe a “Hey” and then they are out. Of course, the one time that I don’t want the guy to stay, he does. Of course! I wake up to the sound of voices coming from the living room/kitchen area, but I don’t really think much of it. I’m more worried about the blazing sun that’s coming in through my bedroom windows and drilling straight into my skull. I lay there, my head pounding from the amount of alcohol that I drank last night. Fucking Star had us drink a shot for every month we had to be in quarantine. Needless to say, I was sloshed. My whole body aches, but it’s mostly my head. I reach into the bedside drawer for some aspirin and dry swallow three tabs. It
I’m a coward. I know I am. I took a day off on Monday while Kent was at work and I moved up. I had been packing up my stuff over the weekend, though he didn’t know that. By Monday, everything but the furniture and my things in the kitchen had been packed. Luckily for Kent, the furniture in the shared living areas were his. He had lived here before I moved into the apartment and had everything there already. I left him a note, telling him that I love him. That’s something I hadn’t been able to do in person and, again, it was a coward’s move to do it in a note instead of face to face. But I wanted him to know. God, that makes me sound manipulative. And it was the biggest dick move that I could have made, but…I wasn’t trying to be a dick. I was trying to let him know why I couldn’t stay with him. I couldn’t stay and be his punching bag. I couldn’t let him parade guys in and out of the apartment because I wasn’t giving him enough attention. Especially when I feel like
One month later… An entire month without Cole. I can’t believe that he’s been gone for so long. I miss him everyday. At first, it was a struggle to get out of bed. I was depressed. I even moved my mattress into his old room and sleep there, since it still has his smell. It’s the only thing that helps calm me to help me sleep. As time passed, it got a little easier, but I stayed out of the apartment as much as possible. Everything about it reminded me of Cole. Especially meal times. Even if he hadn’t been there to eat with me, Cole always had food in the fridge with warming instructions. After the first week, they were all gone and my last link to him was gone. There were so many times that I almost called him in that first week, that I ended up erasing his number from my phone. Star has his number and I could always ask them for it. But I needed to not have access to it right now. If he called, my phone would tell me who he was. And if not…well, I’ll cross that brid
An entire month without Kent. I would have thought it would have been…worse? I mean, it was bad. It really was the first few days. But then, I was just so fucking with my catering business that I literally didn’t have time to think about him. All of a sudden, I looked up and realized that: 1) I needed to hire more staff and 2) it had been a month since I had seen Kent. And honestly? I didn’t really miss him. Ok, that sounds fucked up. And it’s not completely true. I missed hanging around with him. I missed how we used to be with each other. But…what I didn’t miss was the drama. All the heartache and the pain that came with us being together. The insecurity that I felt whenever I thought about our relationship and how we acted together. Jessie had made me go out with her friends and reconnect with old ones. I hung out with people that had nothing to do with Kent so that I didn’t have the possibility of running into him. I was busy as fuck with the catering company.
I was so excited when Cole called and said that he wanted to meet me that I immediately called Star. “Bitch! We’ve gotta meet! I’ve got tea!” i cry out the second they pick up the video chat as I hurry to my apartment. “Girl, spill it!” Star squeals, immediately matching my energy. I love that they automatically match my energy. They say that it’s because they are a water sign, which means that they are more connected with others and their emotions more than other signs. Either way, they always have the perfect energy and somehow always seem to know what to say. “Cole called me! He wants to meet me tomorrow afternoon!” My voice is so high-pitched, I’m sure that dog’s in the area are going to start howling any minute. “Holy fucking shit! Are you serious?!” Star says, seemingly completely flabbergasted. I laugh. “You don’t have to sound so surprised!” “I’m sorry, Kent, but I am extremely surprised. I really thought that this would be the end. I thought that you two
**TRIGGER WARNING: Discussions of suicide and attempted suicide. Read at your own discretion.** “How are you feeling, Kent? You’re looking better. You have some color in your cheeks.” I’m sitting in my therapist, Allison’s, office. “Yeah, Star dragged me out to the flea market on Saturday. They made me put on, like an entire bottle of sunscreen. Said they were worried that I’d turn into ash like a vampire,” I say, giving a short chuckle. It’s been three months since that fateful meeting with Cole. Ok, that’s a bit dramatic and I’m trying to tone that down. It won’t help my processing my feelings if I use hyperbole to deal with it. When Cole told me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, I left the cafe and didn’t turn back. I didn’t respond to his calls and pleas for me to stop. I just ran home and locked the door behind me. He had left his key and couldn’t get inside. Cole banged on the door for an hour trying to get me to talk to him. But I just laid in
1 year later… “Who the hell dips french fries in their ice cream? That’s like, just wrong. It should be in the 10 Commandments. Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not defile the holiness of the good old American french fry or the sanctity of a milkshake,” I say aghast as I watch Evan dip his fry back into his Wendy’s Frosty. “You don’t know what you’re missing man. It’s the perfect mixture of salty and sweet. Hits the tongue like your taste buds are having individual little orgasms in your mouth,” he says, eating the fry and smiling at me. “I’ll show you an orgasm in your mouth!” I leer, leaning in and kissing him hard. He kisses me back, holding the back of my head and opening his mouth to swipe his tongue along my lips until I open and he invades my mouth. That’s what Evan does. Takes exactly what he wants, while making sure to give you pleasure as well. It’s fucking hot. We’ve been dating for about two months and recently decided that
Hey friends! Thank you so much for reading Love in the Time of Quarantine. I hope that you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Here are a couple of announcements/interesting information for you. 1. If you are interested in what I listen to while I’m writing, you can find my playlist “Creative Juices” on Spotify. I love all different kinds of music, so there's a little something for everyone. 2. Other books on GoodNovel: Trio of Mates Series: 4 werewolf books that take on the idea of what would happen if one of the leadership was gay and couldn’t produce an heir. Lots of very graphic smut. (completed) Trio Legacy Series: The stories of the children of the wolves introduced in the Trio of Mates Series. Completed: Hide and Seek, Ongoing: Red Rover Dissonance and Harmony: The story of a high school girl who has to face her rapist at his sentencing hearing and deal with her PTSD from that night. Graphic violence and rape scenes. (completed) 3. Follow me under the same name
I’m standing outside of the girls’ apartment, my old apartment, with a picnic basket of baked goods and a cooler with drinks, fruits, and icings to add. I have muffins, cinnamon rolls, danishes, cinnamon raisin bread, and fresh bagels. Ok, I went a little overboard. I can admit that. I’m just so fucking anxious about this whole thing that I don’t know how to handle my feelings right now. I had been awake when Andie had texted me last night, contemplating what Angel had said to me earlier that day. I’d actually been looking at pictures of Andie and Jaime on my phone when I got the text. We’d been so happy before this whole thing started. I miss them. So damn much and it took losing them to understand what I’d done wrong. I didn’t even have to think twice about it, I immediately texted her back that I would bring breakfast. And then I fell to sleep without any issue. Granted, I’d only gotten a few hours in bed, since I had to make deliveries to the bakery this morning.
I’ve been tossing and turning in bed all night after listening to everything Angel and Maddie said tonight. “You three belong together.” “He loves you.” “He wants you back.” “What do you have to lose if you do call him?” I know what my heart wants. I also know what my heart is afraid is going to happen. How can I allow him to possibly hurt me, us, all over again? What’s the definition of insanity? Doing something the same way over and over again and expecting a different result? Wouldn’t it just be insanity to allow him back into our lives again and hoping for a different result. Though both Angel and Marta have said that he’s reducing his hours at the business, that they’ve hired a lot of new people, and that he’s learned his lesson. Could it be true? Could he have really changed for us, even if he didn’t think that we’d be there for him? I don’t know. We’ve been in bed since midnight and it’s 3 am. With a huge sigh, I get up and grab my robe. I tie the robe
Jaime and I go about making dinner in silence. We are a well oiled machine at this point, moving easily around each other in our kitchen. Angel and her partner Maddie are coming over tonight for dinner and to play cards. It’s something that we started up in college with Angel. A weekly card game. Each week, someone picks the game that we play and once a year, each of us is supposed to introduce a new card game. We use candy and snack foods for any games that require betting. It’s more to hang out and have fun than anything else. Maddie and Angel have been very careful of who they let in their circle, as have we, so we all feel comfortable being around each other, even with COVID still happening. Unfortunately, this is how much of our life has been since Jorge left. Just a silent orbit around each other. Hold each other through the tears and the pain. But not really talking. I mean, what was there to say? We were enough for each other, but not for the man that we love
“Angel, do you have tomorrow’s shipment of bread all packaged? Carmello’s needs the delivery an hour early. I’d like to be able to have everything on rolling carts so I can just load up the trucks the second I get here,” I call to Angel. When she first started working with me, I had brought Angel on just as a delivery driver. But over the last two months, I have consciously tried to pull myself back from the business and I’ve made Angel a partner. We have three drivers, a part-time baker, and two part-time packagers. I’ve cut my hours back so that I’m working nine hour days, as opposed to the 16 hour days I was working before. The only reason that I’m driving tomorrow is because our early morning guy took tomorrow off. Otherwise, I’ve even built in my Wednesdays and Sundays as days off. “Yes, everythings all ready. Just waiting for the last batch to finish cooling before we get it packaged. I’ll get that done in the next hour,” Angel tells me. I let out a huge sigh. “O
It’s been a week since our last interaction with Jorge. We’ve been communicating via text and notes left at the apartment. The morning after our break up, Jorge was gone by the time Andie and I woke up. He had packed a bag and left a note saying that he would be in and out while Andie and I were at work over the coming week. He’s moving into an apartment over his parents’ restaurant. It was a place that his dad used as an office and that one family member or another would crash at when they were in the dog house with their wives or girlfriends. Not a bad place, but also not a place for someone with as successful a business as Jorge’s. Unfortunately, with COVID still pretty bad, Jorge has elected to stay in a place where only family has been until things blow over a bit. Trying to decide what belongs to who out of our stuff over text is difficult. I had honestly thought that Jorge was the one. The guy that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. When we added Andie
In that way that grief between people who love each other will sometimes turn sexual, when Jorge turns to Jaime and kisses her, she kisses him back. I lean in and kiss the side of his face. He turns towards me and God does it feel good to kiss him. I’ve missed him so damn much. It’s been too damn long. Jaime brings his mouth back to her, their kiss hungry and desperate. My hands go to the bottom of the hoodie he’s wearing and I rip it off of him. Jaime finds his mouth again and I lean down, licking his nipples. He groans into Jaime’s mouth and his body tenses in his arousal. He loves having his nipples played with. At the same time, I rake my nails down his abs. Jorge pulls back from Jaime’s mouth to look down at me. “Please. I need you both.” His voice is so full of need. I look at Jaime, asking if she’s ok with this. Because this is going to be an end. Not a reconciliation. But I want this. I need him. Jaime nods, both of us seeing the motion. Jorge surg
Andie looks between Jaime and me and seems to immediately know what’s going on. She’s always had that ability. To take a situation in at a glance and know exactly what is going on. I guess that’s what makes her so good at programming. And at calling me on my bullshit. Ever since the day that I triggered Jaime’s meltdown, Andie has been more aloof with me. I guess she realized that the promises that I made to her and Jaime, while heartfelt and genuine, weren’t ones that I could keep. I feel like the time that I managed to get after that was more for Jaime’s benefit than Andie’s. As introverted and quiet as she appears, Andie doesn’t take bullshit from anyone. She’s given me more rope than I deserve. But it seems that it was just enough for me to hang myself with. “How far are we into this conversation?” Andie asks. I stare at her, surprised at how calmly she can address this. Jaime is the one that answers. “I’ve told him that he isn’t treating us like priorities an
I’m sitting on the couch flipping through the channels on the TV when Jorge walks in. It’s been two days since our failed date and this is the first time that I’ve seen him in more then passing. He’s dressed in sweats and a tank, his hair wet from a shower. He must have just come back from a run. Andie and I have been sleeping in her old room ever since our failed date night. With the hours that he’s been keeping, I don’t really know what he’s up to. I don’t know that I really can muster up the ability to care. Each time I do, it just seems to hurt me a little more. “Hey…” Jorge says tentatively. He walks in the room and sits on the arm of the couch. I glance over at him. “Hey,” I say, turning my attention back to the TV. “Um…where’s Andie?” he asks, like he’s not sure what to say. “Doctor’s appointment and then grocery shopping.” My responses aren’t angry, but they are short and I don’t turn my attention back to him. Instead I give the remote the voice command to tu