6. The First Reveal

There. Plastered on the wall, in bright, cheerful colors, were the thoughts I had written in my diary. The yearning I held for David during those years that we are apart. All my feelings, my melancholia, splattered there for the whole school to know. In my periphery, I see Seb's worried face. He's asking if I was alright but I can not bring myself to answer. All around me, my peers discuss in hushed tones, most expressing their shock and pity while some judge me harshly. Harboring feelings for her friend's boyfriend. What a bitch. I don't even notice my feet move, but before I know it, I am running away.

And just like always, I find myself in the highest place I can find. The school rooftop. 

My heart pounds in my ears, threatening to burst out of my chest. And suddenly, I feel nothing but white-hot anger. For the stranger who has just shown themselves determined to destroy my reputation. And for myself for being so pathetic. 

"Isn't it funny? I've known you for only about a year, and yet I've picked this strange habit from you. I have to thank you though, going up the high ground whenever you get upset? Really puts things into perspective. I should've done this sooner." 

I turn around to the voice, startled. It's Dina. Sitting on the dirty cemented ground. 

"Dina, I'm so---" I start to say, but DIna waves me off. 

"Don't apologize. It's not like I didn't know beforehand. I told you that it doesn't bother me as much as it did when I first found out about it, and I meant that. I know you and David won't do something to hurt me. I trust you both," Dina says with absolute sureness, I had to take a moment to stare at her.

"Then, why did you run up to the rooftop when you saw what's on the board?" I dare to ask, entertaining the bitter part of me. God, maybe I am a bitch.

Dina looks at me solemnly and under the early morning light, I see how striking she is. I notice it the first time I met her, looking all grumpy and upset on her first day in school. A familiar ache twisted in my heart. No wonder Dave chose her. She's every man's dream, and Dave is that boy. They're perfect for each other. There is absolutely nothing I could've done to change Dave's mind. That's why all my attempts at getting Dave to look at me differently have always been half-hearted. I sigh, my question now obsolete. 

"I know what you're thinking." Dina says, breaking the silence, "Even as you ask that very challenging question, you're thinking, 'I will never be good enough for David. Dina and David are meant to be. They will always have that special connection that he and I don't have.'" 

I blink in surprise,"I--" And here's me thinking I'm the one with the ability to read people. 

"I wholeheartedly disagree." Dina dusts herself off the floor as she stands up, "It's you and David, Ari. He might not love you as he loves me but you guys have that connection that I could never have with him. Hell, you and the boys do. Brad, Calvin, Kier, Simon, Sebastian..." She trails off, looking at me meaningfully. 

I blush inexplicably, "That's because we grew up together. We've had each other's backs ever since..." 

"Exactly." Dina interrupts, "That's why I just can't understand why the boys don't know that someone's been threatening you, Ari. You need to tell them, especially because they're the ones getting involved." 

"How..." 

Dina shows me the slip of paper from my locker. The one I thought I had hidden from her earlier. Damn her and her lightning-fast reflexes.

Dina smiles bitterly, "What do I keep telling you? Never try to hide anything from me. Now, go find the boys and tell them. And if you need my help, just say so, too. We'll nip this thing in the bud." 

I guess Ari is right. I need to come clean to the boys. Not because they're involved, but because they're basically my family.

***

I get the reaction that I am dreading. Brad and Kier are in synch as they go livid, immediately coming at me for not telling them right away. Simon and Cal are silent, but both look at me with a mix of disappointment and worry that tear at my heart. All the while, Dave and Seb, who are so much alike, just study me calmly to see how I'm taking things. Assessing. Always planning in their heads. I wait for their judgment silently.

"That's enough, Brad. She probably didn't tell us right away because she was ashamed. I mean, these are her secrets we're talking about. Things she didn't even tell us." Seb says, effectively making things worse. I glare at him. Despite the calm in his eyes, I can almost swear he's also brewing anger underneath. He's good at hiding it though, so much so that I can never be totally sure. 

"Yeah, but don't forget about that note. This concerns our secrets, too. Secrets that we told her because we trusted her." Kier said vehemently, the complete opposite of Seb. I know Kier. He's charming most of the time but doesn't hold back when he wants to explode.  And he has every right to be mad at me at the moment.

Still, I balk at Kier's reaction and close my eyes in shame as he leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. 

"It's going to be okay. He'll come around. You know this is just his process." Dave says calmly. 

Brad stares at the door, looking like he might follow. But he takes one look at me and I see his eyes soften. It takes me a second to realize that somehow, with all the chaos, I had started crying. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out as my throat closes up. 

"Ari, please don't cry. We're mad, yes. But not that mad. Even Kier. We'll help you fix this. We're so sorry that we didn't notice that you weren't truly happy. To be fair, you did a good job trying to hide it. But now we know and we'll do everything we can to make you smile again for real. Okay?" It was Cal. He moves to the seat beside me and wraps a long arm around me, pulling me to his chest. I resist the urge to bawl, but my body still hitches up and down. What Cal said...it's just too pure, and admittedly the thing that I have been waiting to hear all this time. 

Through my blurry vision, I see Brad silently studying the slips of paper on the table, infinitely calmer than he is earlier. He swats Simon's hand away as the latter tries to take one of them. "Ow! Dude. I was just going to read." 

"Rereading them over and over will not change anything. We need to come up with a plan." Brad says.

"Do you have something in mind?" Dave asks. 

"Tough question. He's got nothing on his mind." Simon jokes mildly, looking at me for a reaction. I give him a small smile, grateful for his understanding and his attempt to cheer me up. 

"Shut up, Simon. There's definitely on my mind right now. A name." Brad looks up at me slowly, a glint in his eye, "Ari, I think I know who wrote these."