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Love and Lament 23
Today's day was hectic. And it's an understatement.I woke up early, despite the fact that I drowned myself in alcohol last night and had made a complete fool out of myself in front of Brett. I don't want to think about what I did because I know it's not going to be something I'll be feeling proud of.I should have realised it sooner than going out yesterday is a bad idea. And going to a pub without any security for that matter is something I thought I would be capable of doing. I had no clue that it was not appropriate for me to dance with a guy and completely forget the fact that he had the potential himself to lead me to a bed and make me wake up the next morning without any clothes on my body.Brett was right. Though the guy looked harmless and pretty sweet, I shouldn't take any risks. I was drunk after all. I wouldn't have remembered anything even if things turned out to be worst.When the sun began to show, I walked to the gallery to have a peek of what's happening outside. The
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Brett didn't push the subject any further. He knew that things between me and my father weren't great and that he left my mom when I was young. He was also aware of the fact that I was not looking forward to meeting my father as we haven't spoken for years.Brett understood my tension and nodded. He took my wrist in his palms and pulled me. When we were finally outside and headed to a deserted balcony, I was able to breathe. I haven't spoken to my father for years. My mom and I didn't try to know where he stayed or if he ever found the happiness he was searching for.I sucked in the fresh air and let it cool my nerves. I knew that by looking at my face, anyone could say that I'm indeed worried about something. It didn't surprise me when Brett read through me like a magazine."Are you alright?" I heard Brett ask from behind me. I sighed and turned around to look at his concerned face."I'm okay," I said. "He... I didn't expect him to be here. He caught me off guard."He nodded. "Did he
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Time ticked by, and the loudness of my heart was the only thing I could hear. A deathly silence followed, contrasting to how it was moments ago. Maybe it's not just my mind that went blank when I ran into someone.I was not scared, nor did a mere thought of meeting him tried to drain the blood from my face. It's just my wish of not meeting him or bumping into him that made my heart frantically beat against my chest.I just stood there, the more I tried to act normal, the more I failed in my attempts. So I just let the person before me break the ice. Because both of us knew about how bad I am at acting like everything is fine."What are you.. doing here?" He asked, his face remaining similar to mine, just as clueless as I was feeling.When I didn't answer, he edged closer to me. He was not sure if he should be hugging me after meeting me after years or should just stay mad for not talking to him while he made every possible attempt he should."Is your mom here too?" He asked, looking b
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I walked inside, carrying my weak limbs to the party. I left my phone with Brett, so there was no way I'll be receiving any calls from my friends. I didn't meet my father after he left me, but the paper he gave still remained in my hand. Though I was sure I'm never going to need it or his number, I couldn't let myself throw it away or crush it in my palms.I let out a shaky breath and moved forward. All the events planned for tonight might have been over by now since I could find people saying their goodbyes and leaving. I was curious, about why my father and his family attended today's event. Were they one of the sponsors? Might be. I wouldn't be half surprised even if I learn that my father now owns private jets. Things happen way too quickly for people who can find it within themselves to easily move on from the past."Chloe!" I heard someone yell for me, making a few heads snap at the source of the voice.I furrowed my brows and turned around, only to meet a pair of angry eyes. "W
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"I know you'd pretend to be sick," Brett said, pulling the thermometer from my mouth and tossing it onto the mattress of the bed. "Even if you truly were having a fever, I would still have insisted you go.""I really am tired," I said, rubbing the dark circles underneath my eyes, "And you don't seem to remember that we just had a few hours of sleep."Brett could just do so much as roll his eyes at me and rip the covers off of me. He pulled me to the floor and rushed me to the bathroom."I'll be waiting," he said. "Make it fast.""Aye, aye, captain." I groaned and made my way to the bathtub, before closing the door with my foot.Sean and Sapphire didn't come back to the room last night. Apparently, Sean used to stay here before he moved to Boston. So they were spending time together at his house.After I took an extra hour to spend in the bathroom, I finally got outside when I ensured that I didn't have anything else to do inside. Brett was getting impatient, the look on his face said
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I looked behind into the charmless void, contemplating if I have any more time to back off. The same thing kept running in my mind, if I could back off now, or if I could just postpone it for a few more seconds. Though I racked my brain for all the possibilities of excusing myself from this, I couldn't find how.I let out a shaky breath, and tightened the scarf around my neck. This way, my neck will be forced to stay erect and not bend down. I can also ensure that I'm not oddly squirming around people and that I can confidently look at them in the eye and speak.I gulped before slowly bringing my hand up to knock on the door. But before I could, I went against it. Maybe I can just ring the bell? Or wait, is there a bell? I tried to search for it but realized I should be not wasting any more time since Brett is alone in the car. I should get this over with, as soon as possible.With a very brief pause again, I knocked on the door. Unsure of whether it was audible, I knocked again, this
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"It was nice meeting you." I said, kneeling down beside Ella, as she tugged the pants of dad. "Don't worry. I won't be there to upset your father again."She just frowned, seeming confused by what I said. I pinched her cheeks and stood up to look at my dad. He ruffled my hair like old times."You know we'd love to have you. And it's not going to upset me." My dad said, holding my head with his hands."If I could, I really would have." I said. "But mom doesn't know I met you. She won't take everything through phone."He smiled and nodded his head. "But you know that you are always welcome to move in. Whenever you want."I clutched his palm and smiled. "I know.""Good bye, Chloe." He said, gently pulling me into a hug."Good bye." I said, slowly hugging him back. I moved away when he let go of me and gave them a bright smile before turning on my heel and leaving.I could feel my heartbeat, it was steady. I drew in a breath, and felt absolutely no heaviness in my chest. I felt like as th
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When I first heard what he said, I couldn't fight the feeling of being overwhelmed. That was all I wanted to know anyway, although It never occurred to me that he is still waiting for me.When I snapped back, I realised he was searching in my face for any expressions that would help him understand what's running through my mind. I was just having an unreadable expression portrayed on my face. No one could completely deny that I'm shocked or angry and nor can anyone say that I'm happy."Chloe, Say something.." He said, pressing his hand into the side of my face and stoking his thumb over my numb cheek bone.I gulped at him. This was definitely not what I was expecting. He is not supposed to love me. I am not worthy of him or his love.This held me up. I didn't know what to say. On one side was him. He was waiting to hear me say that I love him back, so hopeful that his frowned was beginning to appear with a tension evident expression on his face. I knew I couldn't hurt him. That would
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Love and Lament 39
His lips came crashing on me and knocked the air out of my lungs. Does that really happen to anyone, I wonder. For a few second, I could think about anything. My brain was in a mess, what was I supposed to make out of this?When he said he wanted to end my misery, I convinced myself that he was finally breaking up with me - for real. Although I was pretty sure we ended our thing the night I came out clean in front, I was still hoping that things would work in my favour and I'd never have to break our thing.But this - this insane act, the most unexpected one - this never occurred to me as a possibility. After what seemed like a few seconds, he finally let go of me."We're going to be late." He mumbled, looking at his watch. After a displeased frown formed on his face, he looked over at me and cupped my cheeks. "I want to make things right with you right now, Chloe, but I'm afraid we don't have the time. And I couldn't have waited until after the test - you were miserable and there was
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"I'm sorry honey, but he already left." Brett's mom said with a saddened expression her face. Little Anna was stilling hugging me by my legs and kept jumping about how she missed me."He left?" I asked her, unable to believe what she had told."Yes." She said, her lips forming into a thin line. "I'm sorry honey. He wasn't actually in a great mood. The test was stressing him a lot and with everything going on..""It's okay, I understand." I tried to smile, but I don't know if it appeared like one. "I just wanted to see him one last time before I go for it. He was the one that wanted me to write it in the first place.""I know." She said. "Can I ask you for something?"I looked up at her with at frown. "Of course you can.""If you still care about him after everything, which I know you do, please give your best today. He might not be here to wish you good luck but it's so obvious that he is anxious about how you're going to perform. Please, just remember that he would love to see you go
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After a month"Are you listening to me?" My mother narrowed her eyes at me, slightly knitting her eyebrows together to let a frown form on her forehead.Her eyes had bags underneath, and a few dark circles brushing her skin. She hadn't slept well lat night. Well, to he very honest, she hadn't slept at all. It was evident by how many times she almost fell asleep on the table while we were having break fast."I am." I said, almost rolling my eyes at her but resisted my urge before I could throw myself in a situation that would earn me a good amount of scolding.My eyes burned too, partly because they released more tears and completely drained themselves of any liquid and also because of the many sleepless nights I have been having with everything going on."Where's your bag?" She asked, trying to test if I was really attentive in the conversation.The conversation was getting routine. She constantly reminded me that I should stress myself and that I should get nervous before the actual
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"What do you means it's me?" Brett spoke, as he got up straight to face me. I was involuntarily fidgeting with my hands, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get any words out of my mouth. It was that moment of silence we were having where both of us are confused to process what's running in our minds. The temperature of the seemed to increase with the slow anger in Brett's face. He's definitely not the guy who jumps to conclusions, but there is nothing that is not known here. He heard what I said perfectly, and he is judging the situation right. "I'm sorry.." I said. That was all I could say after looking at how his face was emotionless and stern. "You helped her get with me?" Brett asked, almost in frustration. "You thought we dated? For fuck's sake, I didn't even know her until I saw her that day!" "I didn't know she was lying.." I said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. What I did was stupid. And I realised it after really long. I know I don't stand a chance
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The damp cloth was still resting on my waist, treating my unhealed wound. It was supposed to reduce the burning sensation there and I think Brett is pretty good at nursing my wounds since I don’t feel the intensity of pain anymore.He went off to meet Linda, who was forced to not come to the police station so that Anna doesn’t know of her brother being arrested. My mom helped Linda with convincing Anna, so both of them had to let just me to go fetch him. Sean tagged along until he was sure I could handle the situation alone, since Sapphire was still in the hospital.She will be discharged tomorrow morning. Sean will probably just be there by her side until she goes home safe. Brett and I can go meet her tomorrow and thank her loads from our side.Brett promised to come back home and sleep with me tonight, because according to him, I don’t know how to take care of myself.Well, I’m not going to argue with him on that. But I’m pretty sure my mother knows how to take care of me better th
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I held my forehead against the cold metal. It stunk of iron, of dust left uncleaned for a long time now. The region where my skin was stuck to it was beginning to lose sensitivity. i felt numb as the coldness almost froze that part of my forehead. Yet, my forehead didn't cease to sweat.It was hot, and since my nerves were not trying to calm down, my throat almost burned due to the raspy breathes I've been receiving. I felt a warm hand clasp mine, that was resting on the cold metal. I felt warm breath fanning my cheek, and y forehead rested side ways."Go home, Chloe." He said, pushing a few strands of my hair behind my ear. "It's late.""I won't go home until you take me." I said, looking at him through the cell.He was currently locked up in the cell, and I was standing outside it. It was almost infuriating to know that the police had accused him without acquiring proper evidences. They just have a witness, but until they catch hold of reliable evidences, they can't lock him up.See
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I was sweating profusely. Suddenly, my limbs grew weaker than usual. I stared wide eyed at the person before and gasped.Sapphire ran a hand through her hair and roughly pulled them back. She came to me and hurriedly brought me to my feet."Are you okay?" She asked, her face drained of the blood. She palmed my face and searched for injuries. Knowing how I was almost harassed by him, she would obviously be worried about how my present state is.My mouth felt dry to reply. I opened my mouth to say something that would escape from me, but before anything could happen, Sapphire fell back on to the ground. I gasped when I realized that Parker had yanked her back by her hair."You bitch." Parker gritted the words out angrily, yanking her back. "It clearly looks like the both of you need some taming to be done."My eyes widened as he grabbed her and yanked her back angrily. She groaned in pain and struggled under his monstrous treatment. I didn't know what to do. I needed t help her from the
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I was worried.Worried about how things were going to be. Worried about how Vicki was going to take it all. Also worried about might be happening to our friendship when she takes things in a different way.Although she's going to hear it from me before from anyone else, I don't think she's going to entirely happy. I should have told that I couldn't help her when she asked. I love Brett, and I knew it would be very difficult for me to let go off him. I shouldn't have taken the chances.But then, if I told her that I love Brett, she might have told it to Brett too. I didn't know if Brett had feelings for me back then. It would ruin everything we had. Even the friendship.Vicki is my childhood friend. And she is a very good person. Maybe I shouldn't be so worried about telling it to her. Maybe I should just let her decide and tell her everything. It's for the best.I nodded my head for myself, taking renewed strength from within me.I can do this.I mumbled to myself, walked through her
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The wind was blowing in my face, numbing my cheek bones and nose in the ice-cold atmosphere. We let the windows down as we drove alone on the deserted road, my head sneaking out into the air.I closed my eyes for a few brief seconds, as relief flooded through my entire system. I could hear the gradual roar of the engine as we sped up, and the demeaning silence it was bringing when we occasionally stopped to surpass the bumps.The rustling of leaves under the tires, and the distant growls of animals were the only noise in the silent weather, and the only thing that subsided against the slow music of the car.We are on our way back to Boston. After packing our things up and meeting up with Sean and Sapphire, we headed back to our home. Brett and I had no awkward moments, much to my relief, and Sean and Sapphire could thankfully not think about anything going on between us.I was glad, that I'm left free of explanation because I know that Sapphire is the first person that will be excited
