RIVER
Krew calmed down a little bit. His cold hands stopped from shaking, but I could still see the horror in his eyes that I wished I could take it away, but how would I if I didn’t know the reason? Perhaps, a traumatic childhood? My heart ached for him. Poor boy. I couldn’t even begin to imagine a boy Krew looked frightened. I wished he could just share it with me. I wanted to know him deeper, and I was willing to gamble and share something with him. I had hope that he would open up to me, but I knew sharing something that we wished didn’t happen was difficult, especially to someone we barely knew. It was just unfair that he seemed to know a lot about me while I knew nothing about him. I wanted to trust him despite everything that had happened between us. I wanted to trust him with everything, but how? When he coulKREWSomething had pushed me to follow her, perhaps my feelings or the urge to kiss her when she seemed on board before she left without notice.I knew for a fact that once I entered her room, I left my restrictions outside, those walls that I built, and my secrets were floating up, ready to resurface, but were we there yet? Fuck no. I had a lot of rules I had to break and things that weren’t ready for her to find out or someone would hate me. I also needed to know if whatever between us was not just some sexual tensions, and if she was ever ready to accept me and what I had done in the past.Jesus, she was not here for a week, yet I was already ready to gamble.But the moment our lips crashed, I forgot my doubt, my restrictions, my promise, were replaced by those
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KREWWhat was I thinking? I should be walking out of her room. I should be putting a distance from her. Instead, I was falling under her spell.Isn’t it what you want, asshole? Isn’t it the reason why you’d been stalking her for years aside from the promise you made?She knew she saw and felt that I wanted her. I would never deny that fact, but it didn’t change a thing that I didn’t do relationships, at least, not anymore, and worse, I couldn’t do it with her.Before I knew River, it was already hard, and I didn’t want to answer and explain to every woman I slept with about my own demons. It was just that I didn’t want to see that look in their eyes—the judgment or the pity when I told them what I’d been through, but I didn’t see those judgment
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