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31 // Severed

My baby was hooked to all sorts of machines, and he looked so small and vulnerable, it made my heart bleed.

I couldn’t hold him or smell him, I could only see him from afar.

He was currently in the neonatal intensive care unit, and we had to wear hospital gowns, gloves, and masks in order to enter the NICU, it felt as though we were handling our child like he was some sort of a virus.

I lost count to how many machines he was connected to, I desperately wanted to touch him through the holes on the incubator, and I so wished I could take his place.

“I failed him.”

“Don’t say that,” Silas said in a heavy voice.

I shook my head. "But it's true. I should have taken better care of myself, I should have prioritised myself and my son instead of worrying over irrelevant things. I should have paid more attention to my body when he tried communicating with me.”

I recalled all the times I was in pain and chose ignored it instead of calling the doctor or taking the necessary steps and res
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