6. A fool

“What?” My mind went blank.

After a moment of silence, he said abruptly, “I need you to leave!”

I clenched my fist, was that it? Since she was here, was he going to toss me out like a used tissue paper?

I clenched my fists at my sides, staring at him in disbelief.

I wasn’t some object he could toss aside when it no longer suited him. I had feelings, and I deserved far more respect than that.

“What if I don’t agree to leave?” I said, taking one step closer to him. 

Calvin’s eyes widened in surprise as it was the first time in years that I dared to go against him. All these years, I’ve been silent because I was begging for his love and attention. I was hellbent on impressing him, and yet, despite so many efforts from my end, he chose to turn a blind eye toward me and only sought for Becky. If that was the case, then I no longer had to swallow my pride.

“What’s wrong with you?” Calvin glowered, “Do you really think I’ll ever be happy married to you? Why would you want to be in a marriage like this?” 

“Because I love you and I’m willing to fight for us...” I said,

“That’s bullshit.” He sneered, “Do you not remember how we got married? Do you not remember how you schemed everything to make me tie the knot with you when I was in a vulnerable state?”  

His disgusted eyes scanned me from top to bottom and continued, "You are nothing but a shameless orphan.You are not even worthy of living here, let alone dreaming of becoming my wife!”

“How can you say that...” I was hurt deeply, “That was so long ago, Calvin. I thought we moved past that.”  I know I made a really big mistake once, but it was all because I loved him so much.

“You might have, but I haven’t.” He said, “I still love the same person that I fell in love with three years ago, and that is not you.” 

I felt as though someone punched me in the gut. My heart constricted painfully, and for a second, I felt sick. I stared at him in astonishment of his betrayal, wondering if he could get any more cruel than this. 

“You never loved me?” I asked, “Not even once, Calvin? ” 

“Don’t be a child, Cassie.” 

A child? I tried everything possible just to please him in these three years. But this man was cruel and never noticed my love for him.

“What? You thought I’d fall in love with you just because we’ve been married for three years?” He laughed loudly, “You’re denser than I thought, Cassie. You need to wake up. I never loved you. You are a nobody. Mr. Arnold Harper adopted you out of pity. It’s merely because of his generosity that you are here. Do not dream of things you don’t deserve.” 

With that said, Calvin turned on his heel and walked out of the room, closing the door shut with a bang. I shuddered at the sound. Suddenly, I grew hyper aware of the silence around me. It could faintly hear his receding footsteps as he went down the stairs, and soon, it was just me. It was just me standing in the middle of the room, all alone, as my husband left me. 

I remembered the night of our wedding then. It was oddly similar to what I was feeling right now. Calvin refused to spend the night with me, and hence, he took off in anger, leaving me all alone in the house in the middle of the night. I remembered that I didn’t catch even a second’s worth of sleep that night, for I was scared and was desperate for some reassurance. I was worried that he was never going to come back, and that I would be living like this for the rest of my life. 

I did not feel any different right now. The only difference was that, back then, I had hope. I was sure that with time, his heart would open up to me, make room for me.

 I realized now that I did not have that. There was no hope. There was no going back from this. 

I slowly found my place on the mattress, utterly dejected. I went to the bathroom and cried loudly. I washed my face to try to clear my head of the cold water. When I looked up I was startled by my bloodshot eyes face in the mirror.

I looked like a real mess.

I may not have taken the right path to marry Calvin, but I gave everything to be a good wife. After all the sacrifices, this is what I got in return.

In the end, I felt like I was the only one to blame. I was so naive, thinking I could make him love me and that three years would make him forget Becky. I thought donating blood to her would earn me some good karma, but Calvin never appreciated it.

I shouldn’t have let things go this far. Not anymore.

I wiped the tears off my face and went back to my room. I pulled out my phone and dialed a number.