Chapter 02: In Dire Straits

I KEPT crying for over a minute before deciding to stop because my tears had dried up and my eyes were aching.

Adrastos moved toward me while shaking his head. “Alejandro, That’s exactly what I mean. You’ll cry when it’s too late and there’s no way to change things?” he said straightforwardly after he faced me.

“I will not change my decision. I will continue to commit suicide. I came here with the definite intention of ending my life,” I said calmly to him, insisting that I’ll never withdraw, so no need to make a fuss.

Adrastos looked at me with disbelief in his eyes. “That’s not what I’m referring to. Because at first, you had no choice but to commit suicide because you signed a contract. What I’m concerned about is your decision to commit suicide,” he said in a sympathetic voice. 

I averted my eyes from him. I understand what he wants to convey to me, but my decision was firm from the beginning. “I’ve been planning to commit suicide for a long time even before knowing this live suicide. It appears to be a blessing in disguise that I discovered about live suicide because if I die here, I will have money,” I replied to him.

He simply stopped talking and sighed, knowing there was nothing he could do for me.

After the occurrence of the incident, I want to commit suicide a long time ago. I intend to kill myself before the authorities can apprehend me. I remember that before I knew about Live Suicide; I tried to commit suicide several times, but luckily, I stopped myself because I discovered that there is a Live Suicide platform where you can earn a lot of money if you just do what they tell you to do. 

The events of that day, when my parents threw me out of the house and refused to accept me as a family member, suddenly flashed into my head.

“You’re a shameless brat!” my father shouted angrily at me when he entered my room. I could also hear my sister’s loud voice screaming downstairs and mama’s whining alongside father.

He suddenly pulled my collar and punched me in the face. “What an assh*le! Why did I find out that you allegedly raped your sister’s friend? F*ck!” 

“W-what? That’s not true!” I defend myself. What rape are you talking about? I will not commit that horrendous crime! I did not rape her! I did not rape anyone. 

“Are you going to tell me another lie? Then tell me the reason why Carmina is pregnant, d*mn it!” he shouted in my face.

He suddenly knelt on the floor, and I was about to help him when he shouted, “Don’t come near me! Assh*le!” My mother just shook her head, stopping me from coming, and helped papa stand up.

“I’ve known since you were in high school you love Carmina! However, why did you conduct such a heinous crime?” he said disappointedly, crying. 

“Is it possible that we didn’t provide you with a decent enough upbringing? Did we fail as parents?” he asked me while his body was trembling with fear. I cried because the thought that they were terrible parents had never occurred to me. Every time I hear my parents crying, my heart slowly breaks, and they think they are not wonderful parents to us.

“D-Dad, you raised us well.” I wiped my tears with my hand.

“B-Believe me, Dad, Mom, I-I did nothing wrong!” I begged them. 

Dad suddenly approached me and hit me vigorously. “Just what the f*ck, Alejandro. Who would believe you?! I even named you after myself because I want you to respect women like me to your mother!”

I knelt to dad and begged. “Dad! Believe me. I am your child! You know me, and you know I’m not capable of doing that, especially with the woman I cherish.” I hugged my dad’s foot tightly as I begged them to believe me while he tried to remove my hands that were clinging to his feet. 

“Although you are my son, we didn’t know you that much when you went off to college! You come home late at night and are always engrossed in your phone! You also told us you couldn’t go home because you had a study group, even though there was none!” he yelled at me, and I averted my eyes. What my father says is accurate, but I won’t tell them.

“Dad! Mom! Just believe me,” I begged them, but papa kicked me in the face and walked away from me. “Alejandro! Who’s going to believe you? There’s already evidence! Carmina is pregnant and you’re the father!” 

“You’re embarrassing! What do you think people will think of you and us now that we have raised a rapist in the family? What if something like this happened to your sister?” I wiped the blood off my face from my dad’s punches. 

“Dad, please! That’s not a good enough basis to believe that because she’s pregnant, I raped her!” Father, get a clue. 

His cheeks flushed, and his eyebrows furrowed with rage. “Alejandro! We saw you on their house’s CCTV after inspecting it and discovering that you left Carmina’s room at 3 a.m. last week! So, what exactly did you do there? You’ve already reached the legal age! You’re well aware of your actions.”

“I went there because—” I abruptly cut off what I was about to say when I remembered Carmina was pregnant. I don't want anything horrible to happen to them.

He gazed at me and suddenly frowned. “Because?” he asked.

I just averted my eyes and turned the conversation to others. “Just believe me! I did nothing bad to Carmina!!”

He was about to answer when my sister suddenly entered the room and slapped me. 

“F*ck you, Alejandro! Why did you do that to my friend?!” she shouted with disgrace.

“You as well, sis? You know who I am! I’ve been with you since we were kids. I’m sure you’re aware of how much I like Carmina! You know I couldn’t possibly do such a heinous crime against her!” I said in tears. I can’t take it any longer; this is too much for me to bear.

“You are the only one I expect to trust me with because you are the first person with whom I share my secrets. You were the first person I told about my feelings for her.” She slapped me in the face again. “What is love? If you love her, you won’t do that to her! “ 

I looked like a raging volcanic eruption, so I poured out everything I wanted to tell them. “Believe me! We’re family, and you know I couldn’t do that to Carmina!” I shouted at them while crying. Believe me. Please, I beg you. 

They would have answered when papa’s cellphone rang. I saw the caller was Carmina’s dad. It devastated me when my dad answered the call. 

“Hello, Mr. Angeles—” He didn’t continue his sentence because Carmina’s father’s loud noise interrupted him in the middle.

“What hello? You still have the chutzpah to greet me like that after what your son did to my daughter! You are a father, but you cannot educate your son properly! What kind of father are you to them?” My father’s face was riddled with guilt and remorse after hearing that.

After he uttered hurtful things to my father, I found myself overwhelmed with rage. I was about to respond when dad halted me and gave me a stern look. “Sir, maybe we can talk about it?” papa asked. 

“I have no intention of speaking with you because I intend to imprison your son and I’m going to shut down your vegetable stand! Also, expect your daughter to drop out of school!” he exclaimed.

“Mr. Angeles! I beg you not to be like that; our vegetable business is our only source of income in our everyday lives, and my daughter will finish college in just two years,” dad begged Mr. Angeles. 

I just burst into tears from the agony of hearing my father pleading with the person who didn’t grasp what he was saying. It felt as if I wanted to sever my ear so I wouldn’t hear papa’s plea to Mr. Angeles and mama and sister wailing beside me.

“I don’t care what you say! Don’t talk to me! Talk to my lawyer tomorrow!” he said, as if he was belittling and intimidating us. 

“Mr. Angeles please talk to me—” Dad didn’t complete what he was saying because the phone call ended before he could finish.

My sister sobbed as she clutched her father’s hand. “D-Dad! What will happen to my scholarship? How am I going to study?” she asked him in tears, but dad could do nothing about Mr. Angeles’ decision, so he just hugged my sister and stroked her back to calm her down. 

“I’ll figure something out, okay? I’ll do anything, even if it means crawling in front of them like a fool,” father assured her, despite the sadness and fear visible on his face.

Dad suddenly swung his face to look at me, and the anguish in his eyes vanished. He instantly rushed to me and dragged me out of the house. “Get out of this house!” he shouted and pushed me into the road. 

“D-Dad! Don’t be like this. I have nowhere to go!” I reasoned, but he ignored me.

Suddenly, our neighbors came to gossip about what was happening. I overheard them whispering to each other. Someone was pitying me, and someone was laughing at the same time. Someone else also takes pictures and videos of me.

“From now on, you won’t be my child anymore! Because of you, our lives will be ruined too!” he shouted at me, so I knelt in front of him and begged, not minding the people that surround us. 

“Dad! Don’t drive me away. Please!” but he ignored me. I looked at my sister and mother with teary eyes. “M-Mom! Sis! Don’t send me away. I-I love you so much!” Mom and sister just cried and averted their eyes. 

“Ignore him and let’s go inside the house!” dad said and pulled mom and sister into the house before closing the door. 

“Mom! Dad! Let me in!” I shouted outside the door, but they didn’t open it for me. I knocked repeatedly and called them, but they were pretending to be deaf. 

I waited for several hours, but they wouldn’t let me in until I passed out outside the door. I had just awoken when my father splashed my face with cold water from our window. “Get out of here, or I’ll splash you with boiling water?!” he shouted as if he was threatening me he would do that if I didn’t leave the house. 

I had no choice but to depart while my garments were still dripping wet. I was shivering from the cold, yet I glanced at our house one last time and grieved since there was nothing I could do if their hearts were hard as stone.

 I brushed away my tears before continuing on my walk. “Goodbye, Dad, mom, and sister. I love you so much...” I whispered to myself.

I went to my friend’s house near us and knocked. “Jay, are you here? Can I come in? They kicked me out of the house!” I shouted, but no one answered, so I repeated several times but still no response. 

“Ahh, maybe he’s still asleep.” I decided to just leave, but before I was too far away, the lights in their house suddenly turned on. “It’s good thing that they’re finally awake,” I said. 

Jay has been a buddy of mine for a long time since we were in elementary school.

I was walking back to my friend’s house and was about to knock when I heard Jay shout at his parents. “Mama! When Alejandro knocks here again and looks for me, tell him I’m not here. They kicked him out of their house because he raped Mr. Angeles’ daughter,” he said to his parents. 

Something heavy had fallen on my body, causing me to freeze, so I sat on the ground. I continued to pay attention to what he was saying to his parents. “Alejandro is an imbecile for having feelings for Carmina. Hahaha! He seems to be oblivious to the difference between his and Carmina’s families. His parents merely sell veggies,” he said while laughing.

“Her sister is only hoping for a scholarship because they are broke, hahaha!” he continued.

I couldn’t stand his insults on my family and me, so I left, but before that, I threw stones at their window. “I hope you die, dumb!” I shouted and ran away. 

How could he say such a thing to my family when they were only one step ahead of us? My sister is hoping for a scholarship because she is intelligent, unlike him, who has had many school failures!

I go to the bakery shop and hope someone will give me a piece of bread. “Sister, can I ask for a piece of bread? I-I’m already hungry,” I said to the seller, but she just looked at me and ignored me.

“Sister, even if it’s just one piece.” She looked at me with a grim face. “Can you leave here? We don’t give free food to rapists!” she shouted. 

The people heard her shout, so they murmured. “If there's a rapist in this place? Why has he not locked up in jail yet? “

“Maybe he ran away? Call the police quickly! Maybe the man will have a ransom for money when he’s caught!” a woman answered immediately, so they hurriedly called the police. 

I can’t believe that they will call the cops because I have ransom for money if I get arrested, not because I raped somebody?

I just rushed away before the cops caught up with me. I could even hear their screams from there. I just took a nap beneath the bridge first. I hadn’t slept in a few hours when someone woke me up.

“Alejandro, wake up!” she shouted as she twirled my body. I opened my eyes, and the sunlight struck my eyes, signaling that it was noontime.

I rubbed my eyes. “What do you need? C-Carmina?!” My eyes widened in surprised when I saw Carmina’s face in front of me. 

“What are you doing here? What’s all this leaking news that I raped you and are you pregnant?!” I bombarded her with questions.

She took my hand and calmed me down. “I was looking for you, Alejandro, and yes! I’m pregnant. The love we made has borne an angel,” she whispered.

Carmina and I have been together for a long time. We didn’t tell our parents we were dating because they were against us being in a relationship because of our family’s discrepancies.

“But what about the rumors that I raped you? That is not true!” I asked her intently, and she averted her eyes. “My parents found out I was pregnant, and you were the father...” 

“What’s wrong with that? We love each other,” I replied to her. 

“They refused to accept you, Alejandro! My father threatened me to kill our child if I’d stop spreading accusations you raped me,” she said while crying.

I was frustrated and had a lot of problems, so I pulled my hair tight. Why do I have to portray myself as a villain in their eyes? Why is it necessary for my child to be harmed? Why does my family have to go through this? I understand Carmina’s family won’t welcome me, but why is it that way? Is the current state of your life a criterion for whether you are deserving of acceptance?

“Huh...” The world is not fair, because if it were, they would not form a state against the people; there would be no boundaries between the love of elites and the love of the people beneath them.