Chapter 4 - Searching for Light

The next day November started, and Miyuki, despite going to bed late, got up at 5 am, so she could easily get ready to go out after 7 to be on time on her classes. As the bar where she worked was near the university, therefore the road was similar, and also took about 20 minutes to walk with a faster pace. Therefore, Miyuki left the house at 7:10 am and started walking downtown. On the way, of course, she met Yumiko, who immediately began to brag about yesterday's date.

- You know, I think that this time I really hit the jackpot.- she summed up, beaming all over. Miyuki had never seen her so pleased, so she believed Yumiko had found someone really worth paying attention to.

- I am very happy about it.- Miyuki said sincerely, although she felt a slight pang of jealousy, but completely buried this feeling in herself, in the end she should be happy with her friend's happiness.

When they both arrived at the main university building at 7:45 a.m, they went straight to class. During the first break Yumiko disappeared somewhere with her new boyfriend, so Miyuki was sitting outside alone, on one of the benches on the lane connecting the main university building with the other buildings on the campus. She slipped the business card of Kai Ichatashiko from behind the phone case and once again wondered if should call and make an appointment. On the one hand, Miyuki wanted to get rid of this persistent fear of the dark, especially since she had not been a child for a long time. On the other hand, however, Miyuki felt insecure about Kai Ichatashiko. Yes, this man seemed nice, he was a friend of her professor, and seemed to wear a similar light to her grandmother, but it was the last thing that scared her a bit. Could Kai Ichatashiko be someone similar to Miyuki and her grandmother? If so, was he one of the good or the bad? Yes, he might have had a similar light to her grandmother, but it was not the same.

- And what's this?- suddenly Miyuki heard Yumiko's voice behind her, and before she could blink, her friend took the business card out of her hand and started examining it closely.- Miyuki, where did you get this from?- Yumiko asked, her eyes getting bigger.

- Yesterday at work, while you were collecting orders in the room, Kai Ichatashiko sat down at the bar, ordered sake, said that he heard about my fear of the dark from our professor, with whom he is supposed to be friends, and gave me this card.- Miyuki explained briefly.

- Seriously? Kai Ichatashiko was in our bar, and you haven't mentioned it to me yet?- Yumiko looked at her a bit reproachfully, but soon she smiled broadly.- He is one of the most popular psychiatrists, and in addition a philanthropist, who works almost for free. Whatever about others, but he should gain the respect of everyone who studies in our faculty, after all, Kai Ichatashiko really helps people who cannot afford psychological help, and many people with financial problems suffer from depression.- she continued, with a more serious expression on her face.- Miyuki, you are very lucky that our professor mentioned you to him, and he went to the trouble of finding you. Kai Ichatashiko always has a full schedule, and if he finds time for you, you're in huge luck. You should call him and make an appointment, he will help you for sure.- she assured, smiling slightly.- Besides, girl, Kai Ichatashiko is a handsome guy, and a doctor, the best catch you can get. You spin around him a little, show your charms, and if he will be yours, you are set for life, becoming the doctor's wife.- Yumiko added, looking at her meaningfully.

- Yumiko!- Miyuki slapped her lightly on the shoulder, indignant at those last words, then took the business card from her hand.

- What? It wouldn't hurt to try.- Yumiko replied with an innocent expression.- But that's only by the way, and I'm not forcing you to do anything. Which does not change the fact that you should take advantage of his consultations, he is a really good psychologist.- she pointed out more seriously.

- Well, you're kind of right...- Miyuki replied hesitantly.

- Of course I am right.- Yumiko pointed out again.- How long do you want to shake coming back from work at night? Or to sleep with a lamp or a candle on? Isn't it bothering you?- she then showered her with questions.- If there is an opportunity to get rid of that fear, grab it.- Yumiko added at the end, lightly clenching her hand on Miyuki's shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~

Following her friend's advice, during the next break, Miyuki called the number on the business card and made an appointment with the receptionist, who sounded like a very nice middle-aged woman. And as it turned out, she managed to make an appointment for the next day, in the morning. It turned out that one of the patients by some strange coincidence canceled the visit. It was strange considering that Kai Ichatashiko, as Miyuki read on the Internet, really was a sought-after psychologist and it was really hard to make an appointment with him, so she thought that would have to wait at least a few months, and here such a nice surprise was waiting for her. Nevertheless, Miyuki felt it was strange that the free appointment for a consultation had arrived so quickly, the more so as usually such appointments were given to people who had been waiting for a long time in line, and new patients had to queue like others and wait just like them, that way is was fair.

Miyuki guessed that as a student of Professor Taniguchi, who was friends with dr. Ichatashiko and recommended her to him himself, she probably had an advantage, and that is why was put on the earlier term, which just got vacant. Miyuki was happy, but on the other hand, she felt like was pushing herself in the line, which made her feel a little guilty about others who were waiting their turn, and perhaps they were struggling with much more serious problems than she was. However, since she has already made an appointment, she should show up, right? Therefore, on the same day, during the break between classes at the university, Miyuki went to the office to take a leave of absence for tomorrow's morning classes, namely the first two hours. The doctor's receptionist told her to reserve about two hours to be able to get there, as the Kai Ichatashiko's office was about half an hour away from university, so the way back and forth will take almost an hour in total, and also she would sit in the doctor's office itself for an hour, as the first visit usually took so long.

While they were both taking a break outside, right before their last class, sitting on a bench under a cherry tree, their usual resting place, Miyuki also informed Yumiko of her intention, of course, and asked that she concentrate on taking notes in the first two classes tomorrow, so that Miyuki could copy them from her rather than asking for someone else's notes.

- I'm so glad you made up your mind.- Yumiko summed up with a broad smile.- And don't worry, somehow I will suffer through those two hours to make accurate notes for you.- she assured.- You focus on visiting doctor Ichatashiko. And maybe spin a little around him after all, hm? You could use a good date and finally find a boyfriend. After all, how long can you be a virgin? And losing your virginity with someone like Kai Ichatashiko is a bull's-eye.- Yumiko added, looking at her meaningfully.

- Yumiko, would you please stop talking about this?- Miyuki gave her an almost pleading look, clearly feeling that she was blushing.

- Miyuki, there is nothing to be ashamed of, it's just a natural sequence of things.- Yumiko replied stoically, as if they were talking about the weather.- Unless you want to become a nun and shut yourself up in a convent, what is the point of being a virgin? Sex is one of the pleasures, especially if you find a good partner. And to find one, you have to start looking and trying.- she explained in a tone like some kind of professor.

- Sorry, but I'm not going to do this with just anyone just to find the perfect partner. The first time should be experienced with someone important, whom you love...- Miyuki replied, trying to contain her embarrassment.

- Ah, I forgot what kind of romantic you are.- Yumiko sighed, slightly annoyed, but she quickly regained her composure.- Okay, do what you want, I won't force you to anything. But then it may happen that looking for love will take you too much time and it will be too late to experience anything exciting. Love is great and everything, but that's not all that matters.- she explained her point of view in a much calmer tone.- And looking at our handsome doctor, I can say that the first time with him would not be a bad memory, even if you wouldn't fall in love with him.- summed up Yumiko at the end.

- I don't want to think about it yet.- Miyuki replied firmly.- I'm going to the doctor to get rid of my fear of the dark, not to a man to seduce him. If I start to mix it all up, it won't be a good idea, and also, the doctor-patient romance is unethical.- she added in an instructive tone.

- Of course, so... never mind.- Yumiko rolled her eyes, knowing very well that she would not convince her friend if Miyuki had already started to use this tone.- Let's better get out from here, classes will start soon.- she changed the subject quickly, checking the time on her phone, being grateful to God, or whatever else, that the break was coming to an end.

~~~~~~~~~

That day, after class, Miyuki and Yumiko were to work at the bar again. They went there right away, starting quickly, and Yumiko once again informed Miyuki that she would be finishing an hour earlier today as well, as she had been invited on another date by Hoshi. It seemed that her friend had serious intentions for the relationship this time, but of course it was not a guarantee that Yumiko and Hoshi would stay together for longer, and certainly whether they would get engaged or married in the future. Yumiko was a rather free spirit, and Hoshi also didn't seem to be the man who would hold her by force. For now, they were getting to know each other, having a little fun, and despite their apparent infatuation with each other, nothing indicated that either of them had any more serious intentions than dating for a few months.

Miyuki was not happy that she would not be able to return home with Yumiko, but remembered that Aoi Takashima had offered to help in this matter. At times, Miyuki had the feeling that meeting him that night was a dream, but she felt this guy holding her wrist, protecting against the pepper spray, and then they talked all the way to her house. Yes, it seemed she had someone to walk the not-so-pleasant distance with, but Aoi was, after all, an idol who had a lot of work to do. What if today he won't have time or strength to sneak out for his night walk? What if the manager will find out about his night walks and will lock Aoi up at home, making sure he doesn't sneak out again? Miyuki couldn't be sure of anything about this guy, so was worried about what if she had to walk from the bar to the house all alone in the darkness today? Of course, there were lamps on everywhere at night, but the emptiness and silence of the area made the lighting adding only little of her courage. Maybe Miyuki knew self-defense grips and had pepper spray in her bag, but she wasn't sure if would not be paralyzed by fear in the moment of danger. Besides, she was a sorceress, and therefore knew about the existence of another world - a world of demons and monsters - which only frightened her even more. And Miyuki didn't feel strong enough to fight such creatures. She could heal a wounded, homeless cat or help a withered plant, but fight the demon? No way.

Work was going fairly smoothly that day, and the bar handled without major incidents from drunk customers, making time passing quite nicely. Miyuki, however, naturally saddened when Yumiko left the bar an hour earlier, leaving her with the boss and Ryo, who today again, after closing, tried to convince her to give a lift home, however Miyuki again flatly refused. If she really had to lose her virginity with someone, it wasn't going to be with him for sure. And despite Ryo's assurances, Miyuki didn't trust him one bit. He tried hard to hide his intentions, but for her luck she could read him like an open book.

Overall, Miyuki usually could use a look itself to know more or less if could trust someone, although there were people who were more difficult or easier to "read". She didn't know what it depended on, but never wondered about it for more than few seconds. As for Aoi Takashima, he was a very difficult person to "read", but Miyuki felt that she could rather trust him, although he was sometimes surrounded by strange, slightly dark vibrations. Usually, Miyuki avoided people with such vibrations like fire, but in Aoi's case it didn't push her off, on the contrary - it attracted her even more. It was strange and somewhat unnatural that her instincts were giving off such contradictory signals, but for now she decided to relegate the strange feelings to the background and observe it a little longer. Miyuki hoped that if she could meet Aoi at least a few times, this situation would somehow clear itself up.

Miyuki started walking her way home, but for about five minutes she neither heard footsteps behind nor saw anyone in the area. She was beginning to fear that her predictions would come true - that Aoi would not be able to sneak out today, for whatever reason, and that she would have to walk home alone, shaking with fear. However, this was not the only way she felt, because most of all Miyuki felt sad. She had only met Aoi once, but it seems that has had a feeling of sympathy and would be glad to talk to him again.

- I wish we could talk today...-Miyuki said to herself, staring at the gray pavement.

- Would you really be so sad?- she heard a familiar voice suddenly, slightly out of breath, so stopped right away and turned to see Aoi Takashima standing behind her, gasping for breath.

- Were you running here?- Miyuki asked in surprise, looking at him. He was still dressed all in black, in jeans and a hoodie, but this time his blouse had a drawing of a skull entwined with roses. The black mask on his face was now pulled down over his chin. It was also noticeable that his eyes were not underlined with black eyeliner, which made her see his face completely without makeup for the first time.

- Yeah, I was running.- Aoi confirmed, straightening slowly.- I got home a little later than usual today, so I sneaked out about five minutes too late. When I got to the bar area, I didn't see you anymore, so I started running to catch up with you before you go home.- he explained slowly.

- Do you want to walk me home so badly?- Miyuki asked in a slightly amused tone, which surprised her a second later, because it sounded a bit... flirty? It was the first time she had ever heard herself speak like that to anyone, anyway. No wonder Aoi gave her a slightly surprised look, his left eyebrow raised.

- Well... And if I say yes, what will you do about it?- he replied in exactly the same way, but his flirting was much more evident.

- I don't know...- Miyuki replied clearly confused and immediately lowered her head, feeling her cheeks getting warm because of the blush.

- You started the game yourself, silly, and then you step back ashamed.- Aoi said, coming closer to her, then he took her chin gently, forcing to raise her head.- That's is nothing to be ashamed of, you did well for an amateur.- he praised her sincerely, looking straight in the eyes.- But if you want to win such a game, you can't suddenly back down.- he continued, in a slightly more serious tone.- If you want, I can teach you. Maybe I won't call myself an expert, but I can handle it better than you do.- Aoi added with a smile.

- I'm not sure...- Miyuki gasped, feeling even more embarrassed, as they were close and meet each other's eyes.

- I can do this as your friend, right? You obviously need some help, and it's better to practice with some neutral person than someone you like. If you make a mistake and fool of yourself in front of your crush, you will feel even more ashamed.- Aoi replied quite seriously, finally letting go of her chin.

- I'll think about it, okay?- Miyuki replied, smiling slightly.

- Okay, no problem. Just say one word and I'll be happy to help you.- Aoi assured her, smiling back.

Then they both finally started walking down the sidewalk, heading towards the neighborhood where Miyuki lived.