I don't waste time feeling sorry for myself any longer. I will allow no one to continue hurting me. I'm finished being this weak person who I created through all my grief. Falling for those that have hurt me, thinking I deserve all the misery because of what has happened to my family.
I have found satisfaction in my own misery, but I need to stop punishing myself. All that has happened has made me seem weak. I am done with all those who have brought me pain. I will no longer allow myself to feel anything for them any longer. They are my enemy, not my friend. I will make them pay for all they have done to me.
Realizing now that I'm going to always miss my family and wish they were here with me. But knowing no matter how hard I wish for them to be here. They are not coming back, they are dead. They want me to excel in my life and be happy. Even though I find it impossible to be happy without them. I am going to have to find a way.
 
As we head up to his house, it's just like before. Nothing has changed. All the people gawking at me and whispering. What they all must think, but I don't care. The compassion that I've had most of my life is gone. I figure it's better to feel nothing than to feel anything.In the distance I see a little boy running to me, as my eyes clear I see it's Jayden. He has done nothing wrong, but I'm afraid to show weakness. Knowing Jayden is probably the biggest weakness I have even though everything that has happened is not his fault he is innocent, So why would I not acknowledge him? He is the little shine of light that is in my darkness. I squat down as he runs into my arms, I hug him as tight as I can and pick him up. "Lilly, I have missed you so much, I'm so happy that you are okay."Then the words come out of my month without me realizing, "Oh Jayden, I have missed you so much too."As I'm gripping on to him tighter, I watch as a woman walks towards us. "Now Jayd
As I'm starting to wake up, I feel pain radiating all over my body. As I open my eyes, I am terrified of what is happening to me. I then realize that Ivan is fucking me from behind. I go and grab onto the sheets on the bed to pull myself up, trying to get away from him. When he realizes I'm awake, he takes his cock out of me and flips me over onto my back and gets on top of me.I start hitting his chest, screaming, "get off of me, Ivan, stop this."I feel a hard slap across my face, "I told you, Lilly, that you were going to pay for what you did.""No I don't want this, please Ivan no."I start to kick and punch him as hard as I can, trying to make him stop. When He finally lets go of me, I then make a run for the door, trying to escape him. I try to open the door, but it's looked. I began to bang on the door screaming for help, but no one comes. I then feel as Ivan pulls me back by my hair. He throws me on the bed, I go to get back up. But instead, he th
I get woken up when hearing the door open. I then become scared that Ivan is getting ready to hurt me more. Knowing that I am so weak that I have no fight left in me, It's almost like he wants me to die a slow, agonizing death. Just to come back into a world for him to do it repeatedly.As I tremble in fear, hearing the footsteps coming closer and closer. I close my eyes, not wanting to see what is about to happen to me. Then I feel the loosing of the belt on my leg as my leg relaxes on the bed. Then the same thing with the other leg. I want to close my legs, but I am so weak from all that has happened. Something tells me I don't need to be scared, that I can relax. But I can't help but to be terrified.Then I feel too little hands touch my arm. Immediately my fear just disappears, and I get an overwhelming feeling of pure love. I don't understand this feeling, it's nothing I have ever felt before, and I know who exactly it is saving me, it's Jayden.When
Landon sees me. I can see the shock on his face. I don't think he realizes that Jayden is in my arms. Until Jayden pops his little head up "Hey daddy, please don't be mad at me.""Jayden, what are you doing with Lilly, oh my God what happened.""Daddy Ivan was hurting her. I had to save her, so I did. I tried to tell you, but you didn't listen, so I had to do it by myself.""No Jayden, you did not he is Alpha there are consequences. Lilly, what the fuck why would you let him be involved."?I become so furious that he thinks I would ever put Jayden in any kind of danger at all. What a fucking peice of shit right before I go to say something. Jayden jumps out of my arm. I can tell he is annoyed. "Daddy what is wrong with you, Lilly was being tortured to death. She needed to be saved. I could sense every ounce of her misery and no one should ever have to go through what she had to."I bend down to Jayden with tears in my eyes. "I'm so sorry that you h
I am unsure of what to do. I'm scared, wondering what games he may be playing. I watch as he goes to stand. I back up standing in the middle of the doorway. He stumbles and looks into my eyes, "mine, you're my mate."I am unsure of what is happening. He is starting to scare me. I begin to tremble as I wait for him to snap back into reality. I can be strong, but it doesn't mean I'm not scared. I watch as he steps towards me. I want to stand my ground, but I can't. I go to run, but then all I can think about is what will happen to Jayden.So, I stopped, and I turned around to go back into the bedroom. But he is standing in the doorway, just staring at me. I become uncomfortable with his gaze, and then I realize I am naked. I'm confused by his eyes. It is like this is the first time that he has ever seen me naked before.I get tired of his games. I know that he's pretending he's a monster. He has never been the gentle type, not with me, anyway. "Ivan, what games ar
IVAN'S POVAs I am laying on the floor, I'm not sure how I got here or what the fuck is going on. I'm not sure what room I'm in. It doesn't look familiar at all. My head is pounding I go to touch my neck, fuck as I touch it I feel pain. Then a smell begins to overpower my nostrils and almost makes me weak in my knees. I go to look up, and that's when I see the most beautiful she-wolf that I have ever seen in my entire life.She looks so beautiful with her green eyes and her long brown hair as she is looking at me. I see instant fear, not sure why she is so afraid of me. I look down at her body, loving her naked body. As I let a growl out, making sure it's known that she is mine. Not liking that her body is exposed, I want to cover her, but I can see that she fears me and I want to avoid frightening her more than what she already is.She is so beautiful, but why is she so fucking against me, I have never met another she-wolf that wasn't head over heals for me. Go
LILLY'S POVI don't know what to think, as I'm waiting for him to barge into the bathroom. He never comes. I turn the water on. I let it warm as I feel the heat of the water on my hand, it feels so good. I step into the shower, I let the hot water pour over my body. I am shocked how satisfying it feels. As I look down, I see the water turn brown as it is cleaning all the dirt off my body.As I reach for the soap, it smells of coconut, loving the smell it is incredible. As I fill my hands with soap and rub it all over my body, god, how good it is making me feel. I haven't been this relaxed in a long time, and I don't want to get out of the shower. I could stay in here forever, loving the feeling. Of the heat on my body.I then hear a door close. It makes me jump, thinking that he is coming in here. I open the shower curtain as my hands are shaking. I am trying to control my shaking hands, but I can't. Fuck I hate how I react to him, he frightens me so
I hear Landon talking, but I don't understand the words as I watch his lips move but not understanding the words, I watch as He reaches his arm out to me to comfort me. I then move backwards, not wanting any of his comfort. I'm shocked, wondering if he was involved in everything that has taken place.I don't speak to him, I turn around, and I run, I don't shift, I just run as myself. Tears flowed down my eyes, realizing all that had happened was a test. To figure out, I was a healer. I'm so uncertain about everything. I want answers, but I feel betrayed. I, no what I wanted in the beginning, wanting to find out who I was, but knowing now what it all cost just wasn't worth any of it.It seems like I'm losing small pieces of myself as time goes on. I'm scared that eventually I'm just going to disappear and hate who I become. I don't look back, I just continue to run faster and faster. I need to get away from all of this. I have been held here for too long, it's time to g