It has been a couple of days since the attack. Ivan has left, and Landon hasn't spoken to anyone since the memorial services of all those that we lost. I've been trying to give Landon time. I'm wondering if he blames me for the lives that I couldn't save.
I want to talk to him, but I don't know how. He is so full of anger that I don't want him to take it out on me. I've been assisting all the wolves that have lost their loved ones. Doing little chores here and there. Helping the mothers take care of their children, trying to explain to them what has happened.
Many wolves lost their mates. There is so much heartbreak that I don't know how to cure it all. The pack has lost the light. Now we are all just full of darkness. They need their leader to come forward and guide them. But he won't even leave his house. I know that he blames himself for all of this. Or maybe he blames me because he left his pack to protect me.
Ivan said that he would be back, but he didn't s
As the sun is beaming in my eyes, I have no way of escaping it. I come to the exception that it is just time to wake up. As I sit up in bed and I reached my arms out to stretch. I then notice Landon is still sleeping. I'm surprised that he stayed over. I can't help but stare at him, he is so handsome. I want to just snuggle into his smoking hot body, but I decide to get a shower instead. I Want to look my best when he wakes up.I try to get out of bed as discreetly as possible, so I do not wake him. I tiptoe to the bathroom, trying not to make a lot of noise. I then shut the bathroom door, letting out a breath, knowing I can breathe now. Landon has been so stressed out with all that has been happening, allowing him to rest awhile longer won't hurt anything.I then walk over to the shower and turn the water on until I get it to the perfect temperature. I then begin to undress as I look in the mirror. I see my growing stomach realizing I'm going to be a mother soon. I am
I'm not sure what he is about to tell me, I'm hoping that it is good and not bad. I really just wanted to enjoy my breakfast, but I have a feeling that he is about to ruin it. Just by looking at his face, I know that whatever he is about to say, it is not going to be good.He then starts to talk as he is nervous. "You know how my pack is broken, and I would do anything to protect them.""Landon I know how important your pack is, we will figure something out together, I promise.""The thing is, Lilly , I already figured it out with Ivan, but there were terms that had to be followed.""Landon, what did you do?""I promised him you.""What you promised him me, I'm not an object you can just give to someone.""I'm sorry Lilly, I had no other choice. We need to come together as a pack. He made his terms very clear to me. I can't have any involvement with you from here on out.""No What about Jayden, I love you.""Lilly there
IVANS POVI must leave to come back to my pack. But I will find a way of making Lilly be mine and only mine. It will be as simple as bringing Landon's pack and combining it with my pack and using Lilly as a condition. Knowing that Landon will do anything to protect his pack. So, it will be easy to make him forget all about Lilly. I don't mind competition, but I shouldn't have to fight for my own mate.I met with him today and I'm not looking forward for 2 alpha's running this pack. Knowing if I want to get what I truly desire, that this is the only way. I need Lilly to be mine, and only mine. All those that she cares about will be the only way I will really be able to punish her.I don't want her to have relations with anybody else but me. It might seem selfish of me. But I do not care, she will only belong to me. I know at first it will be hard for her to adjust, but eventually, she will. I will make sure that she will never have the chance of ever escaping me ev
LILLY'S POVAs I wake up, I look around, everything surrounding me is black. I have no sense of life. I can hear the beeping that surrounds me and the people talking, but I feel it would be better not to be woken up. As I feel the life inside me gone, my heart aches more than it has ever.I never thought I would ever feel a worse pain than what I felt when I lost my family. Oh! was I wrong, this pain is so much worse it's like someone has ripped my soul from my body and there's no way for it to return. I hate how my life has been turned upside down. I don't want to be a healer, I don't want to be anything, I just want to be left alone to die.I begin to think that none of this would have happened if my family had been alive, it all could have been avoided. I become so angry with myself, blaming the only people who have ever truly loved me. It is not their fault all that has happened. If they were still here, they would help me fight this life of misery and
As the days continue to pass by, I'm still lost in this world. I lie in this hospital bed, I don't talk, I don't move. I don't want anything to do with anyone. As the doctor and nurses speak, I do not listen. I'm not interested in what they are saying. I do not care about my healing. I will heal repeatedly if I choose to or not. I heard one of them say that Ivan is coming to take me back to his house. I'm scared I don't want to stay with him. I cringe at the thought of staying with him.As I stare outside, wishing I could fly like the birds. I haven't even really stood up from this bed. I hate that I feel so sorry for myself. I need to take control of my life. So, I decided since I am alone, I'm going to try to get up and take a shower. As I unplug the bed alarm, so they cannot hear me stand up. I have no trouble as I make it to the bathroom. Surprised that my legs aren't shaking, but strong.I shut the bathroom door and I lock it so no one can come in. I don't want to
As I can open my eyes, I notice everything is white. I have never been so relieved to die. Now I can understand why Jayden wanted to come here to visit his mother. The feeling is amazing. As I look around, I really don't see anybody, but all I feel is pure happiness. Wondering why I did not feel like this the last time I was here. As I begin to hear my name in a faint tone, I look in the distance, but don't see anything. Then I hear it again “Lilly oh Lilly, my sweet girl.” my eyes filled up with tears when I recognized the voice. I would know that voice from anywhere that's when I began looking for my mother. Excitement runs through my entire body. I begin to shake for once, not in fear but because I'm so happy. As I see my mother, I run to her as fast as I can, excited to feel her touch. It has been so long that I have been able to see her and talk to her, smell her hair. I don't waste any time once she becomes close enough. I then gave her the biggest hug that I h
I don't waste time feeling sorry for myself any longer. I will allow no one to continue hurting me. I'm finished being this weak person who I created through all my grief. Falling for those that have hurt me, thinking I deserve all the misery because of what has happened to my family.I have found satisfaction in my own misery, but I need to stop punishing myself. All that has happened has made me seem weak. I am done with all those who have brought me pain. I will no longer allow myself to feel anything for them any longer. They are my enemy, not my friend. I will make them pay for all they have done to me.Realizing now that I'm going to always miss my family and wish they were here with me. But knowing no matter how hard I wish for them to be here. They are not coming back, they are dead. They want me to excel in my life and be happy. Even though I find it impossible to be happy without them. I am going to have to find a way. 
As we head up to his house, it's just like before. Nothing has changed. All the people gawking at me and whispering. What they all must think, but I don't care. The compassion that I've had most of my life is gone. I figure it's better to feel nothing than to feel anything.In the distance I see a little boy running to me, as my eyes clear I see it's Jayden. He has done nothing wrong, but I'm afraid to show weakness. Knowing Jayden is probably the biggest weakness I have even though everything that has happened is not his fault he is innocent, So why would I not acknowledge him? He is the little shine of light that is in my darkness. I squat down as he runs into my arms, I hug him as tight as I can and pick him up. "Lilly, I have missed you so much, I'm so happy that you are okay."Then the words come out of my month without me realizing, "Oh Jayden, I have missed you so much too."As I'm gripping on to him tighter, I watch as a woman walks towards us. "Now Jayd
Six months have passed since we escaped hell. Life is finally beginning to feel normal. Which makes me feel terrified. I never wanted to leave Alaska where my family was from, where I was raised. But I knew I had no other choice. We had to escape to a place where wolves were almost seemed non-existing.I wanted to go back for Landon. I wanted to save him no matter the cost, if it was just me. I would have died for him, but knowing that it would have risked Jayden's life, I wasn't willing to do so. I hate that he's not here. I wanted to drop hints for him, so he would know where to go. But I knew that I couldn't risk anyone else figuring the clues out. I know that Jayden misses him. I miss him too.We figured out that other wolves didn't sense us. Usually, a wolf can tell when another person is a wolf, but because of Jayden and I having healing powers. We go unnoticeable. It makes it easy for us to live in a human world. We know that our old life will catch up with us eventually, but f
As we make our way to the door to the podium, Mary stops us. I look at her with so much anger and disappointment, I tell her, “please let us go. I want to avoid hurting you, but I will do whatever is necessary to protect us.”“They threatened to kill all of us. I thought one life for hundreds would be acceptable. I'm so sorry.”“You tied him up to a bed.”“He wouldn't stop trying to escape. I had no other choice.”“That's the thing, Mary, you had a choice, but you made the wrong one.”I want to rip her head off, but before I have time to, I feel a little hand tugging on my side. “Lilly, I know grandma made a mistake, but she's not bad, she just made a bad choice.”He's so innocent. I feel so bad knowing what is going to have to be done, and he's so little. Can he bear it? Will he forgive me for what I'm going to have to do? I don't want to take the chance of us being captured. It's time to kill them all.“Jayden, some things are unforgiven when you do something so terrible.”“Lilly, j
I refuse to lose any more people that I care about. If I can get Jayden and Landon out of here, then I won't have to worry about them. I will know that they are free. I may never see them again, but at least they will be able to live. They cannot stay here. I cannot have a distraction. I need my head clear. If I'm worried about them, that I won’t be capable of doing whatever is necessary.I didn't want to resort to violence. I didn't want to kill people, especially people of my own kind. I just don't know what other choice there is anymore. I just want all of this to end. I don't want to live a life running. I want to enjoy life and everything it has to offer. I know what I have to do, and it makes me sick, but I don't think there are any other options. I quickly snap out of my thoughts as I hear Sam's voice, “Lilly, I will not follow any of your demands. You will do what you're told, or I will kill Jayden.A fire lights up inside me as those words leave his mouth. Something happens
I stand there in disbelief. No, this can't be right, he looks nothing like. Sam, how can it be him? Star said it was our mate. I thought me not feeling for him was because of the hate that is deep inside me for him. I thought it overpowered the bond and turned it into nothing. But I was wrong, I felt nothing because this is not my mate. How could I be so stupid?“Sam, what is going on? Why do you look like Ivan?”“Oh Lilly, how easy you are to fool. You're just like your mate.”I watch as he peels his face. It is so disgusting as He removes the skin piece by piece, I then begin to recognize that this is really Sam. Another person who has betrayed me, I know that I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. There's not a person who has not lied to me. It makes me angry and sad all at the same time.“Why would you do this, Sam? I thought you cared about me. I thought we were friends."?“Lilly, it's nothing personal, it's for power. They promised me to be the alpha of the wicked falls pack I've
I get out of their grip and stumble to my feet. I grab a hold of them and throw them to the ground like they weigh nothing. As my hand gets tighter around their throat, I can hear them gasp. Questioning if I should even give them a breath to speak.I then ask, “who are you and what do you want?” As I slowly release their throat enough for them to speak.“Please don't hurt me. I'm only doing my job. I didn't realize who you were until I already grabbed you.”“Who are you?”“I'm one of the watch Warriors of the pack, my name is Tye.”“There has been so much activity in the past couple of days that I didn't think I'm sorry. I didn't want to take a chance to endanger the pack.”“What do you mean increased activity, why wasn't I informed?”“There have been wolves trying to come into the pack. We are not sure why some seem harmless, but others seem dangerous. With all that has happened, we have not been allowing newcomers to join.”As I listen to him, I become irritated. I am the alpha. I s
I've been watching Mary, but she doesn't seem to mind she goes on about her business like nothing is happening I know her secret I'm just waiting for the perfect moment to strike Landon is getting well, and he will soon be back on his feet and he will want to leave to continue the search for Jayden. I wanted to take this chance to find Jayden, but I haven't gotten any farther than what I was. I want to tell Landon because maybe he will know of some hiding spots that Mary might have used. If anyone knows her, it would be Landon that knows her best. I think my biggest issue is I don't know how to tell Landon. I don't want to be the person who breaks his world. I don't want him to have to lose someone else he cares about. But I'm at the point now where I'm not sure if I have another option. I try so hard to stop thinking about everything, but I can't. All I really want to do is sleep, but I can't. My head is spinning. With all that has been happening, figuri
It has been almost a week since Landon has been home. He has been sleeping most of the time. His body is attempting to catch up on everything that it has lost. I've been working with Mary and I don't want to do what she wants me to do. She wants me to confirm Ivan as my mate and make him my second in command.I've been trying to put it off, but I'm not sure if I can any longer. I haven't even spoken to Ivan since that night. With Landon coming home, I've only been focusing on him. I haven't gotten very far figuring out about Jayden. I want to follow Mary. But every time she leaves, I can not pick up her scent to follow her. It frustrates me so much, but I try to hide it as best as I can.As I am getting ready for the day I am nervous that today is going to be the day when Mary makes me make everything official with Ivan. I've been putting it off, and I know that she is not going to let me put it off for very much longer. Not sure what my excuse is going to be this time
He pushes me inside his grip, making me feel uneasy. Everyone's staring, wondering what my move will be, but I do nothing. I let him push me to the bedroom, not knowing what he's about to say. I'm nervous. It has been almost a month since I have seen him last. I watch, I'm waiting to see his lips move, wanting to hear what he has to say. “Lilly, I have looked everywhere for him. I can't find him. He is gone.” I watch as he falls to his knees crying in despair, my heartbreaking for him. And my body builds up with anger, knowing that his mother is making him feel this way. I ran over to him and let him sob in my arms. Not knowing what to say, I know that I can't tell him what I know. If he found out that his mother had been behind all this, I'm not sure what he would do. “Landon, I'm so sorry that all this had to happen to you. I wish I could take away all your pain.” I feel bad for Landon, but I will not jeopardize saving Jayden just to make him fe
My senses have improved dramatically, but something else that I have noticed is my anger. I feel my blood boiling inside me. Trying so hard to control it, I don't want to blow my cover. I don't want Mary to know what I know. If she gets any idea that I am up to something, my plan could go very wrong. So wrong that I actually might kill her.She thinks the first move should be me naming my mate as my 2nd in command. Usually, packs have male alpha's and the females are their Luna. In this case, it's very much different, since the female is the alpha. I want to avoid making it official with Ivan. I don't love him. I'm aware that I should since he is my mate, and I'm met to be with him, but I feel nothing.I was always told once you find your mate that the bond is unbreakable. But the bond that I have is nothing. When I look at him, all