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47. It's okay to feel
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Levi's Dark Desires 48. One day
Grace- “I can pay your debt if that’s what you’re worried about…” He was unbothered, and I really wanted to know how rich one has to be to say words like this? I could never think how my mother ended up taking this much money and from who? And why am I paying for it? Our house was ceased right before my eyes and still I was left with a million-dollar loan hanging on my head. If he ends up paying it for me, I’d be indebted to him and for how long would I have to stay with this charlatan then? “Sleep with me and I’ll pay the loan sharks!!” He smirked, there is no loan shark… there is Levi, he had already paid it for me. My mind is screwing with me. “Sex is all you want?” He turned to me, his eyes sparkling after hearing the word sex. “No, I want you and sex is complementary… consider it like a dessert after a main course.” His lips curved into a smile; I saw him strolling in my direction. “What is main course then?” I shivered as I felt him leaning forward. His lips inches away f
Levi's Dark Desires 49. Obsession and possession
Grace- “You want some coffee?” I was slouching on the couch when I heard her irritating voice. I had nothing to do with her but she wouldn’t just shut up. She had this personality of a badass, I thought she would not even talk to me, but I guess I was wrong. “Yeah, put poison in it…” I taunted and folded my legs turning into a box. I don’t know what I'm doing, but I feel like if I move, a bullet will pierce a hole inside my body. “Oh darling, I have better ways to kill you…” I heard the metal clanking however I protested to look in her direction. I feel like dying. “Of course…” I muttered and she placed the cup before me. Her mouth doesn’t stay put and I don’t know how people around her handle this nuisance. “So, when did you meet Archie?” She again shot me with a question. “At school…” I drawled; my eyes tired of the nonsense. And my brain deflating as she opens her mouth. I got up. “Where are you going?” She slurped the hot coffee making irritating voices and I went inside m
Levi's Dark Desires 50. Signals of death
Grace-My eyes opened wide and I saw the time. Another nightmare that took my sleep away. Another sleepless night I have to go through.It was better since Archie didn’t wake up; he was sleeping soundly however my eyes had no intention of shutting themselves anytime soon.I wiped the sweat off my forehead, I still don’t know the broker’s name… I tried so hard but everyone just called him, boss or sir leaving me without much of a choice.If there are a few breaths left in me, I’ll fight… this nightmare just told me why I didn’t die in that basement and giving up was never an option in my life.Why multiple suicide attempts couldn’t take my life, why brutal beating, and numerous assaults couldn’t bury my soul deep in the ground, because I had a motive,I have a motive,which is yet to be fulfilled.I have a life which is yet to be lived.I didn’t sleep again, just like yesterday and the days went by spending time with Eva. I hate her, and she knows it which gives her the liberty to craw
Levi's Dark Desires 51. I finally found you
Grace-“Eva…” I gagged breathing whatever air I could. A gun in her hand, gripped tightly at its rim, she was trembling.“Are you seriously going to shoot me? You fucking love me, you won’t do that!” Archie drawled, as if the alcohol had vanished from his system.“Leave her alone!” She shrieked and while Archie was busy talking to her, I slammed my knees in his face.His stance collapsed and the hold he had on my neck loosened. I ran and grabbed Eva’s hand along. We could hear Archie’s huge steps stomping against the floor.Both of us panting, “You go… I can buy you some time!” She jerked my hand away, the gun in her hand aiming at the frame sprinting at us.“I have done lot of shit… abandoning is not one of them!” I felt like I owe her my life, the eyes that were about to close saw light passing through them because of her.Archie is a beast, and he will kill her, without thinking twice. I don’t want an innocent life to die. “You really like it… being called a friend!” She smirked as
Levi's Dark Desires 52. Angel
Grace-“Angel!” A tear streamed down my eye as I heard his voice calling out for me. I knew if I’d open one door I would land in front of the other. Angel, a word that felt so foreign and familiar at the same time, that I found myself dropping my guard on the edge. And the person standing behind it would be none other than Levi Rutherford.Ruthless. Callous. Charming.“I finally found you two…” His faint footsteps, those familiar heels slamming against the floor. I recognized the sound, every bit of Levi, I recognize it by heart. My heart is growing outrageous and I can’t seem to understand the gush of emotions storming through.“Your first love… this is him!” And he stood next to Archie, his gaze matching mine, his green eyes showing,desperation,wrath,dread,contentment, all at once and I didn’t know what to look at first.Mythoughtswouldn’tcomeatplace and myshoutswon’tescape. I was losing it, every moment of my life, I was losing it. He was standing before me, in flesh and bones
Levi's Dark Desires 53. A piece of art
Grace-I opened my eyes, and found myself lying on his naked chest. I didn’t know when I dozed off, for some part it is good because the moment I see Levi’s face,I feel sleepy.It is bliss to be honest, one cannot be as boring as he is. It takes special art to ruin the air without doing much, Levi has that art.I removed my hand off his perfectly fined abs, I hate to say it but his body is so tempting and I hear it calling for me. I lifted my finger, gently moving it along the toned biscuits placed on his abdomen.I could feel him breathe in and out, his skin glistened as soon as I touched him. “Doing this won’t compensate for the sin you committed!” I heard the voice and sprung up in tremor.He was awake? When does he even sleep? I was dumb to think it that way. “I was not repenting… I was happy out there on the contrary.” I wanted to make him jealous.But I saw him laughing, “You don’t mean that!” I hate his nerves that tend to be so nonchalant uselessly.“Oh, I mean every word of
Levi's Dark Desires 54. Happy birthday
Grace-I went inside my room; I know I’m hoping groundlessly however I still opened my wardrobe to see dresses aligned, coded by colors.Of course, the money isn’t there… nonetheless I rummaged through the clothes and found nothing. I sat down on my bed sighing at my foolishness.And then… my eyes landed on a diary, with a huge ‘Stefan’s high’ written on it. I stood up and grabbed it instantly.What is my diary doing here? P---Phoenix… is he here? I heard a knock on my window, I was not wrong. I rushed to lock the main door as Phoenix entered inside my room.I couldn’t believe my eyes, he was here… for me. He held me in his arms and I squeaked with joy.“Grace…” He panted and finally put me down.“Happy birthday!” He whispered under his breath and I was too stunned to speak. It’s m---my birthday? I barely even know what day it is today…The color on my face faded, I haven’t celebrated my birthday in the past five years, how am I supposed to smile at my growing age with no sense of hap
Levi's Dark Desires 55. Infinity
Grace-A diary jam-packed with poetry; I didn’t know what that was. Maybe Phoenix tore those pages apart to start anew and wrote poetries?This made my lips twitch into a smile however the loss of those names made me exceptionally furious.Another knock and I saw people strolling inside. Another makeover I had to go through, and this time I was certain Levi won’t leave me, not even for a bit.He will make sure I am before him until the party goes down. I don’t even want a grand thing like this on my birthday.It’s frustrating how people are making decisions for me and just have to sit and follow. Not the latter part because I am not going to follow Levi’s orders anymore.Again, stylists doing things with my hair and I finally slipped into the dress. I hated how it fit me like a glove, just like before as if Levi had measured me with his naked eyes.It had a knee-length skirt in a sleek and chic black fabric, with a fitted bodice and plunging neckline. The skirt seemed more of a lightw
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Levi's Dark Desires 65. Conscience
Life and death, it doesn’t come with a warning, dreams and nightmares are the same. Because I found him standing before me, nightmare? No. My death. One moment I was dying with pleasure and the other, I had Levi’s words ringing inside my head. The notion called sanity has turned into just vague and timid emotions for me. Not him but his death haunts me, and at times like these? “You okay?” His brow rose up, worry cascading on his face, I want to nod, I want to say yes but I can’t. And I'm guilty, I'm feigning ignorance. I don’t want to face the look he’s having right now, the look which is not sympathetic, because my eyes, they speak a different language than usual. The thought of thinking about Levi in an indecent way never struck me before, and by this am I, am I breaking Phoenix’s heart? Am I, am I cheating on him? With a dead person? I want to shut these thoughts down, because I know I love him, but by any chance do I have feelings for Levi at the same time? No, no, I'm
Levi's Dark Desires 64. Doomed life
The value of life for me has become ambiguous. What is life other than days of death and nights of haunts? Isn’t it better to just end it? When all I see is dick waiting to be shoved inside some pussy. But I didn’t know, killing someone would make my soul bright. I feel reborn. I feel invincible, I feel like I can take over the world and nothing, nothing scares me anymore. “Where were you?” His hoarse voice was enough to tell me the storm I'm about to face soon. A hint of rage coursing through. I looked around the dark hall, no one but a sound, a sound, anger, ire, fury, Phoenix. Words that don’t go along with him were what I felt all together coming at me. And before his frame, the bright caramel eyes appeared within the dark. I gasped. “God, you scared me.” I tried to mock it off. “I scared you?” He growled and sluggishly ambled at me. His hands crossed at his chest, waiting for a justification I don’t have. Of course, I'm not going to tell him I killed someone, and I’m ha
Levi's Dark Desires 63. Shadow
I love Phoenix, but remember when I said that maybe I'm ready to give up on my past and start a new life with him? Forget it. Because I'm not ready. I never will be, the fluid named vengeance runs as blood in my veins and I’d be dead if not for it. I had hope, in the basement. Revenge was that hope. You see, I never lied when I said, I am a beast. The names on the diary, Archie killed them from the first page, since he’s locked up at Levi’s mansion, he couldn’t have finished them off. So, I’ll start from the end. Phoenix doesn’t know, he shouldn’t. He’s right, I don’t do walks, because I kill. But when did it start? When I had finally given up on this diary, I was about to throw it off the bridge. To start anew, fresh, road to unicorns and clouds and skies and everything bright. The water as blue as the sky, the sky I wanted to touch, and that day I realized I'm not meant to touch it. I took a deep breath, I had Phoenix’s poems, his emotions printed on his book, I don’t need
Levi's Dark Desires 62. News
Grace- I’m not the narrator, this is my story. And I choose how I live it. However strong I may act, deep down I recall the moment when I held the gun before him and I didn’t feel powerful, I felt like a traitor. Weapons that sometimes make you feel invincible, take your strength away. The gun that’s supposed to save you, take your life, and all you see blood scattered around, his blood, Levi’s blood. So, the power I felt was nothing but my fears gushing inside to press the trigger and take his life. And no matter how hard I try, his face, is always before me. And the agony of his words never seems to fade. He said, he doesn’t know fancy words to woo girls, and I want scoff at him and forget about it. But it turns out that he is a liar, a rather professional one. I’d be lying if I said, I don’t think about him, I want to lie though. But whenever I close my eyes, a loop of memories hit me and as if I had less nightmares to live, Levi’s face added as a dressing on the top. My b
Levi's Dark Desires 61. Three seconds
Levi- I’d lose to her endlessly but, I would never lose her. I don’t fucking care, how many wounds I get, or how many times I have to reincarnate. But for her, I’d come back, every time. Did I love her to let her go? Who the fuck am I? A stupid protagonist? Let her go just to see her smile, to hell with that. If only she killed me, or ruptured a spleen, made me frail even to walk, so that I had reasons to stop looking for her but, now that I’m alive, I will look for her. I won’t wait for that silver lining; I’ll fucking bring the clouds down and see if she was sitting up there. “Don’t people drown themselves in alcohol at times like these?” I wonder how he managed to come out alive, when he had a rib broken, a dislocated shoulder. “You consider alcohol as a numbing agent, but I want to feel every inch of my bones shatter, I want to feel this pain.” So that the grief shrieks with joy and tells me it was worth the torment. So that when she mends me, I could feel the joy of being
Levi's Dark Desires The Diary
This is the diary that Grace found in her room. The diary with poems, figured, you'd want to read it.I met a girl today, beautiful and beautiful and beautiful and everything including beautiful. I don’t believe in love at first sight but I should or else I don’t know what to name this.Tragedy of souls that binds,that blinds,and all the wounds she gave me,wounds that I don’t mind,wounds I don’t hide,I confide,and just want our bodies to collide,and make her mine.Say you hate me,say you want to kill me,but never say,you want to leave me.If I vanish one day,remember to find me in your heart. If I could give you the world, I would.I should,But you are my world so,how I could?The way she moves her hair, like she’s calling for me. The way her laughter fills the room, I want to go deaf to the world’s gibberish.I believe I have fallen in love, and I‘m still falling... the only sound my heart can hear is... ’Make her yours.‘I’m unfamiliar with love,however, I’ll try ev
Levi's Dark Desires 60. How I met her
Phoenix- I just had moved from London and the last year of my schooling turned out to be a mandatory job. So, I was forced to complete it. I had forever been a loud kid, however my brother, Levi was always so quiet, that you wouldn’t even know his presence in the room until you see him in flesh and bones. He always walked like he never existed in this world, he only had one friend who was most likely to be Luther and didn’t talk to anyone… not even me. And then I entered the famous school in the city, ‘Stefan’s High’, and as expected it was boring until my eyes fell at something forbidden. “So, can I call you, my love?” An ugly ass blonde jerk, calling for someone. I followed his gaze and my insides twitched. Who is she? You see a star falling, but before you close your eyes to make a wish… it vanishes, that’s what happened. She was so beautiful that government should bar the number of eyes staring at her, including mine. It should be illegal; it is illegal to be this beautiful
Levi's Dark Desires 59. A graceful world
Levi-Then, I guess I am an idiot and I'm proud of being one.For all the murders I committed so far, if only I took the life of the beasts who were laying hands on her, she wouldn’t be in pain.“Your phone is ringing!” Luther exclaimed breaking me out of my thoughts. “Is it him… again?” He questioned.My silence was enough for him to understand that it was none other than Ethan Redd. A name that shatters my bones.Apparently, Grace was not the only one having a bad childhood but it’s just that knowing her story, knowing whatever she went through, made my agony feel nothing in comparison.I just had this one animal in my life while she had to face the beats she didn’t know, her own m---mother. That charlatan of a mother, how heartless does one has to be to hate her own child?I'm glad Cassie’s dead but I wish to bring her back to life and kill her myself.“Why don’t you block him?” Luther added and I snorted at his. “Like technology will keep him away… he’s coming, no matter what!”I
Levi's Dark Desires 58. Right for revenge
Levi-Grace was sleeping soundly when I entered her room. I recalled the scar she has on her belly, it made me feel dead and the words escaped my mouth.“I’m sorry… Grace!!” I whispered under my breath and her lips furrowed as if she was throwing a tantrum.“I wish I could change everything; I wish I had taken you by your hand the night you were being sold.”I heard a movement; she could wake up any moment. But before I did, my eyes landed on a diary poking out of her pillow.I grabbed it carefully and vanished like I don’t exist. I rushed back to my room, I might be committing a sin but then again, I am no saint.I opened the first page, this diary was on the verge of falling apart, it was so old, older than my existence I believe.I flipped the page and saw names… so many of them, I turned pages but found the same thing. I don’t know what it was, just names of random people.I scratched my head in shock, what does it even mean?“Who else should I kill? Give me the names, tell me and
