XanderA little over an hour later, we were parking the car in an overpriced lot. I took her hand in mine and we found ourselves almost immediately absorbed in a crowd of people. After about an hour of mingling with the crowd, we broke off and found a small café for us to grab a snack and a drink.“I’m glad you and your dad are talking again. I hated thinking you guys were at odds because of me.”“We’re good,” she said. “Trust me. I don’t want to pry, but can you give me a hint about what happened between you and your dad?”“I was born,” I said dryly.“Stop,” she said. “For real, what happened? Were you especially rebellious in high school?”“Not really. I’m serious. I cannot name any one specific moment in my life that led to his dislike for me. It was kind of a gradual thing from the moment I was born. That is the honest truth.”“You are not a bad person,” she insisted. “I don’t get it.”“I truly believe it is because I didn’t want to go into the military. He had this idea in his he
EvieWe were both avoiding what was really going on. I refused to acknowledge it. I wanted to pretend we were on a normal date for as long as possible. We laughed and played and joked with each other as we strolled over several blocks of Hollywood stars before heading to the museum.“I think this is all a little creepy,” I told him after a while.“You don’t like being surrounded by wax figures staring at you,” he teased.“It’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.”He burst into laughter. “It is a little creepy. Cool but creepy. Do you want to check out some of the shops? We could go to the Dolby?”“Do you actually want to go shopping?” I questioned. I got the impression he was trying to make me happy, doing things that he thought I wanted to do as a way to appease me. I didn’t need appeasing.“I don’t mind browsing,” he answered.It wasn’t exactly an enthusiastic answer, but I would go with it. We spent a few more hours doing absolutely nothing except walking around and seeing all there was
Evie“That isn’t my intention.”“Just say what you need to say,” I murmured. It was better to get it over with.“I’m not in a position to be with anyone.”I rolled my eyes. “Because?”“You know me. I’m not good at this kind of thing. I’m not good at relationships in general. The one person in this world that I truly cared about is gone.”He may as well have slapped me. It hurt. His words tore at my heart. “I see,” I said, nearly choking on the words.“Kade got me. He understood me. He was… well, he was the one person that I could say I had a meaningful relationship with. He’s gone. His death has turned me inside out. I can’t do this again. I can’t feel like this ever again.”“Grief?” I questioned. “That’s what you don’t want to feel again?”“No, I don’t. I can’t.”I slowly nodded. “I understand. Your solution to your situation is to avoid relationships so you never have to experience loss. You would prefer to be permanently be alone than to know love and maybe feel some pain.”“I gues
XanderThis was probably one of the top ten dumbest things I had done in my life. In fact, it could be in the top five. I turned off the engine of my car but made no move to actually get out. I was still trying to talk myself into keeping the appointment I had made. I knew if I didn’t call and make an appointment, I would never actually follow through with it.I stared up at the building for several long minutes. I was a grown man. I was a successful, grown man. I should not be intimidated. I would not be intimidated. I could do this. I needed to do this. It wasn’t for me. It was for Charlie and his guys. One moment of humility would not kill me.I opened the car door and climbed out. My shoes felt like cement blocks as I made my way inside the building that was all too familiar. I followed the directions from the registry and made my way down the hall. I paused in front of his door and reviewed what I would say to the man that had tried to kill my dreams.“Fuck it,” I mumbled under m
Xander“So, you can shoot it down again? Because you don’t trust me and my science?”He shrugged. “I don’t.”I didn’t care what his opinion was. I knew better than him, whether he thought I did or not. I was the guy that had changed the shipping industry. I was the guy that the ship owners trusted. At least, I used to be that guy. One failed meeting did not mean I didn’t know my shit.“It’s a way to keep rudders from being damaged. With my new design, rudders will last longer. It’s all very technical, and I can send you the plans if you think it would help you better understand, but in a nutshell, it’s good. It’s really good. This is just the beginning. With existing ships being retrofitted with the design, ship owners will save thousands on repair costs. Shipping lines are going to be running smoother with ships staying on the water where they belong. Lower operating costs mean better prices for everyone. It’s a good plan. It’s a great plan and I know it will work.”“You sound very—”
Evie The GPS instructed me to turn right. The roads were ridiculously narrow. I was glad I had gotten the economy car at the airport instead of the midsize I had my eye on. I wasn’t sure I could have navigated the roads with anything bigger than the tiny tin can I was driving.“I can’t believe you are actually doing this,” Nelle’s voice floated through the car via the Bluetooth.“I have to. This isn’t for me. This is me doing a public service.”“Don’t you mean you are doing this because you are hoping to fix him so you can have him?”“No. That is not what I am doing. Me and Xander are over but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about him.”She let out an audible sigh. “You have such a big heart.”“I have a normal heart.”“Why don’t you turn your little self around and drive back to the airport? Come home and let’s talk this through.”“I’ll be home soon. Once I do this, I’ll feel better. It will be closure for me. It will give me what I need to move on, and hopefully, he will be able to m
Evie“You!” I said a little louder than I meant to. “Your disapproval and refusal to give him just a little credit for a job well done has scarred him. I’m not trying to criticize your parenting, but I am asking you to open your heart just a little.”“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”I wasn’t getting anywhere. I was probably just making the situation worse. “He lost his brother, the only person he thinks loved him in this world. You lost your wife and a son, but you still have a son who needs you.”“Thank you for reminding me of all that I’ve lost,” he said.Coming to Oregon was stupid. I shouldn’t have interfered. “You have lost a lot. I cannot imagine what that is like. Kade was a wonderful man. I felt his loss and I barely knew him. You and Xander are both suffering. If you two could lean on each other, it would make things so much more bearable.”“Why are you doing this?” he asked.“Doing what?”“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be talking to Xander? You’re his girlfriend
XanderI was back. It wasn’t intentional. I told myself it was because my boat was here. That was all. I wasn’t back in Oregon because I felt drawn to the place. It was just the boat.Running away from home was not all it was cracked up to be. I missed Evie. I missed my house. I missed San Diego. I was a mess. I knew that. I was hot and cold, up and down, and everything in between.My head was a mess. I wanted Evie. I wanted her more than I wanted anything else. I just couldn’t bring myself to commit to living there. Being away from home had given me a sense of freedom I didn’t know I was missing. My life had been so focused for so long, I didn’t realize I wasn’t really living. Everything with Kade and Evie made me rethink everything I had ever believed.I debated opening a beer. It was early afternoon, but I was on vacation. At least that was what I was telling myself. I was on an indefinite vacation. I heard my phone ringing and ignored it. But what if it was Evie? I scrambled into
XanderLaughter floated out of the ballroom behind us. I was glad everyone was having a good time. It was the culmination of a lot of hard work over the year. Every person in there deserved to celebrate their success, including Charlie’s crew.“What kind of business?” she asked. “Are you guys cooking up another scheme to make ships even faster?”“No. I think I’m good for a while now. I have more important matters to focus on.”She touched my cheek. “I better be one of those matters.”“You are. You absolutely are.”“My dad is pretty excited to be a part of all of this,” she commented.“He should be. He made it possible, which is why I gave him a check for his cut of the profits.”Her mouth fell open. “You did what?”I shrugged. “Without him, I never would have gotten those first few ships to try out the new hardware. He offered suggestions that made it work even better. He deserved—no, he earned—that money.”“Wow. Did he accept it?”I laughed and nodded. “Oh yeah, he did. His name is a
XanderOne year laterPride. That was what I felt in that moment. My ships were heading out to sea. Everyone else was already making their way back away from the dock. I couldn’t leave just yet. I watched the ships navigate out to sea one at a time. I didn’t have children, but I imagined what I was feeling was similar to what a proud papa would feel.I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Charlie next to me.“This is a big day,” he said.“It is. You pulled it off.”“You pulled it off.”“What do you think?” I asked him. “Is it going to work? Do you foresee them falling apart halfway around the world?”He shook his head. “My guys did excellent work. That shit is solid.”“Good. Those test ships seem to be holding up.”“Of course, they will. My team is the best. Your idea wasn’t half-bad either.”“Thanks,” I said, watching as one of the ships cleared the harbor.“You know, you could have made a lot more money with that plan,” he lectured.“I could have but I already have a lot of
Evie“I’m going to make love to you all night,” he promised. “This is just the beginning. This is to tide me over until we get home. I want you in my bed. I want me inside you.”“Yes,” I gasped, my head dropping to my chest as he slid in and out of me. Every stroke touched new places. Every stroke sent my body into a wild tailspin of desire and need. “Please. Please. Don’t stop.”He didn’t speed up his pace. He kept moving in that slow steady rhythm, sliding in, grinding his hips, and then gliding out and leaving just the tip inside me. The spasms rocking through me made it difficult for me to remain standing. I wanted to crumble in a heap at his feet with him still inside me.“This is just the first,” he said, his voice strained. “I can’t hold back. Your body is milking me. You are too tight. Too hot. Too fucking wet.”“Don’t hold back,” I told him. I needed his release. I could feel mine hovering just out of reach as if my body refused to give in until it had his complete surrender.
EvieI was being terribly irresponsible. I was not the girl who got naked in the park and had sex. Unfortunately, when I was with Xander, all bets were off.And he loved me. The words echoed through my mind over and over. He loved me. I would follow him into the fires of hell knowing he loved me. I didn’t realize just how badly I needed to hear those words from him.He loved me. I loved him. I didn’t know what that meant for the two of us, but damn if I was going to pass up the chance to find out. The way he was kissing me was different. Maybe it was mind over matter, but I could practically taste the love on his tongue. It was in the way he touched me. The gentleness of his hand on my cheek, holding me steady while his tongue plundered inside my mouth.“Over here,” he said as he broke his mouth away from mine.I felt a little dazed. His kiss made me feel drunk on lust. Again, I was ready to follow him anywhere if it meant I got more kisses like that. He took my hand and led me away f
Xander“Xander, I want to believe you, but I’m hesitant.”“I know. I expect that. It isn’t just the memories of Kade that brought me back. You. Memories of being with you. Thinking about this place and our time together. Those are all really good memories. I want more memories like that.”“You are saying all the right things,” she said with a smile. “You know I can’t resist you.”“I’m counting on it.”“I’m glad you are back,” she said.“Me too. Does this mean you will entertain the idea of having a relationship with me?”“I could be convinced,” she said.“I am going to work very hard to convince you,” I vowed.She sipped her wine. “How are you doing? Like really doing?”“I’m doing a lot better thanks to you.”“Thanks to me?”“You are a sneaky little lady,” I told her.She raised her eyebrows. “Me? Sneaky?”“I got a call yesterday.”“Congratulations.”“Oh, you’re cheeky too.” I laughed. I opened the picnic basket and pulled out the small cheese tray and peeled back the plastic. “You ho
XanderI was so close to losing her. I sensed it in her voice. I wasn’t expecting her to jump at the chance to see me, but I wasn’t expecting such resistance either.The sense of urgency I felt was making me anxious. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. It had taken me way too long to realize how I felt about her. Anytime I thought about my life in a month or a year or in ten years, she was there. I wasn’t sure how it happened, but I knew she was a person I wanted in my life. It wasn’t even a want. It was a need. I needed the woman like I needed air.I was prepared to chase her down if I had to. I would do whatever it took to make her hear me out. I knew there was still a chance she would kick me to the curb. I wouldn’t blame her if she did. I had fucked up. A lot. I would spend the next year trying to convince her to give me a chance. I couldn’t explain when things clicked but they had.It was like the light went on. I hated that I was so ignorant for so damn long. I hated to thin
Evie“I don’t know,” I answered. “I didn’t take the call. I was in a meeting. And it wasn’t the kind of meeting that allowed me to answer my phone.”“Did he leave a voicemail?”“Nope.”“I hate that,” she groaned.“Me too. If it was important, he could leave a message. The guy has fallen off the face of the earth again. He hasn’t called or texted and now he blows up my phone? I’m not interested.”“Liar,” she shot back.“Okay, I am interested but I don’t want to make it too easy.”“You know you’re never going to be able to think of anything else if you don’t call him back and find out what he wants.”“Won’t that make me sound like I’m desperate for his attention?” I asked.“No. The man called you. Calling him back is just polite.”Truly, I was looking for her approval. She had given it to me and now I was anxious to call him and find out. “I’m going to do it.”“Let me know,” she said and hung up.I held the phone in my hand, tapping it against my forehead. I needed to mentally brace mys
EvieI pulled up the images from a sweet-sixteen party I had planned about six months ago before I turned my laptop for the new client to see.“Oh wow, that is stunning!” the mother exclaimed.“I don’t want pink,” the spoiled princess pouted.I smiled, remaining calm. “You don’t have to have pink. You can choose any color you want.”“No,” the mother quickly interjected. “We are not having black.”The girl scowled. “I wasn’t going to say black.”I kept my smile in place. The affluent family had reached out to me last week. Initially, I didn’t want to do it. I was in no mood to deal with a spoiled teenager.“What colors were you thinking about?” I asked.“Purple,” she answered. “I want several shades of purple.”“Oh, that’s very regal,” her mother said with a relieved smile. “I like it.”“I was at a party you planned for my friend like a year ago,” the young girl said. “She said you were really good. My party has to be better than her party.”Ah, teenage envy. “We will do our best.”“We
Xander“No, I don’t suppose it was. You did it for yourself. You made something of yourself. I’ve kept my head in the sand, trying to ignore what you’ve been doing. I did a little research. You have changed the world, just like you said you were going to. You really did something remarkable. Your mother used to show me newspaper clippings with your name. I know I didn’t say it, but I’m proud of you. I’ve always been proud of you.”I put the bottle of beer down. I could not continue to drink it if he was going to send me into coughing fits every time he dropped one of his little bombshells. “You are?”“I am. I should have told you before. You are my son. I’ve said some pretty shitty things. I don’t know how to make them go away but I was hoping we could try and start over.”I felt like I was being pranked. Maybe I was dreaming. In thirty-two years, my father had never believed I was worthy of his last name. “You want to start over? I’m sorry, Dad. This is all coming out of left field.