5: All That Guilt

Kristen's POV

My life is just so messed up right now, that I'm starting to think the moon goddess is against me.

Why is this happening?

I feel ugly and dirty not because I didn't shower before I wore my dress, but having reality hit me back in the face that I slept with some random person, and the next day he turns out to be not just my stepfather but also my mate.

Fear.

There's a lot of theory to this word and if there's another word worse than fear, that's what I feel.

This unpleasant emotion merged with the feeling of anxiety concerning what might be the outcome of something dangerous.

I've never seen my mom this happy in her entire life. This is the first time.

She's walking through the hall, side-stepping the rows of seats with a bouquet in her hands. And everyone is rising to their feet as a sign of respect.

"She's one gorgeous being like a descendant straight from the moon goddess."

"Our Alpha is lucky, she's suitable for Luna's position."

"But she's older, has a daughter."

"She's only a few years ahead of him so it doesn't count."

"So he's a stepfather?"

"Love knows no bounds."

Whispers are flowing in the entourage, almost surpassing the slow music in the background.

My gaze travels to Blue-eyes standing in front with his Beta beside him and his pack elder in front.

Apparently, his eyes have been fixated on me for a long time. Even his Beta is awe-struck. He knows me as the girl from yesterday.

I didn't even know Blue-eyes was an Alpha until today.

He looks like he's had a shit in his pants with his once-groomed hair tousled on top of his head. People would think he has been forking his fingers through his hair because he's nervous at the sight of his bride.

But I can feel his emotions.

No one knows he's this way because of me.

He's not even looking at mom.

It's me.

Calhoun, that's his name. And he's the Alpha of the Greyhound pack. One of the most prestigious and powerful packs on this side, consisting of a thousand werewolves. Several reputable men are seated in front and all these people are under him.

A few years ago, when mom suddenly went AWOL for reasons best known to her, I was left with nothing but a week's worth of groceries at home. Just a grade eleven student who was yet to pay her school fees. Thankfully, the Greyhound pack came with a support system for high schools and I picked a form, filled it up and my fees were paid. Calhoun helped me five years ago.

I didn't even look at his profile on the internet. He was just there and no one knew he would marry my mom five years later and be my mate.

Why would the moon goddess do this?

Why did I refuse to go the whole time Mom suggested we meet?

I can smell him all the way here, even though we're quite far away from each other.

It's freaking insane because I've never had a mate before and I had no idea what it felt like until now.

I wish I could take everything back, right from the moment I walked into that club with Sapphire and Maddy, got drunk, and accepted the challenge to hook up with someone.

Why did it have to be him?

It could've been some other guy, his beta perhaps would've been better and the situation wouldn't be this bad.

Calhoun also has a hand in this, he didn't tell me he was getting frigging married to someone the next morning. Can it be that he knew I was his mate the entire time? That's why he didn't turn me down? Was super nice to me and even helped hook my shirt with his affix pin.

He cheated on my mom with me.

And now, I feel so guilty and rotten inside. I can't even smile back at Mom when she sidesteps me with that signature smile.

How would she feel if she finds out that Calhoun not only cheated on his bachelor's night, it was with her daughter?

What hurts the most is that she looks so breathtakingly stunning and euphoric like today is the best day of her life. With all the yay, I'm finally getting married kind of vibes. Goodbye to singlehood.

I just want to crawl into some corner and hide away from the world.

Letting out a heave, I raise my shoulders, wanting to get past these unsettling thoughts but the way Calhoun pounded into me last night keeps flashing through my brain. I still feel sore.

Mom and I never had the mother-and-daughter type of relationship, but one thing I know is that she doesn't deserve this.

We take our seats when she stops in front of Calhoun and he reluctantly draws his eyes away from mine and fakes a smile at her.

My stomach churns as I take a hard, hurtful gulp.

Vows and rings are exchanged and when the elder asks if anyone is against the wedding, Mom and Calhoun look at me.

Mom is staring at me because she's trying to detect if I'm okay with this.

And Calhoun on the other hand wants to figure out if I'd raise my hand, stand up and tell everyone that we slept with each other just last night. How he doesn't deserve my mom because he cheated on her the night before their wedding. Lastly, we're freaking mates with discernment of emotions acquired from the mate bond.

"You may kiss the bride," the elder instructs after thirty seconds ran by.

And they kiss. Something which is a seal to their marriage.

They’re official man and wife.

And he’s now my stepfather, whilst I am his stepdaughter.

"Hopefully, nothing will separate them as this marriage is built on a solid rock," the elder adds and everyone bursts into a round of applause.

Calhoun kisses Mom one more time and hugs her. Thankfully he doesn't look to meet my eyes and I release a breath I have no idea I was holding.

Calhoun's beta approaches me when mom's Luna coronation begins a few minutes later.

"My name is Bruce and Can I have a word with you?" He leans closer to my ear and whispers this.

Pulling away, I stare at him. Wondering what he's up to because something doesn't seem right. Did Calhoun send him? His tone was calm but his eyes betrayed him.

"Sure," I force this word out and he suddenly grasps my wrist.

I look to meet Calhoun's gaze at this and I see his eyes lowered in a suspicious squint.

What's going on?

Bruce leads me out of the hall and pulls me into a corner.

"Why are you here?" His voice is suddenly hard and mean, unlike the way it sounded earlier.

"What do you mean?" I'm puzzled. Did Calhoun sent him?

"Look, if you're here to ruin things because he hooked up with you last night, I'd advise you to stop right here. Because Alpha Calhoun isn't someone you wanna mess with."

"You think I'm here to cause a disaster?"

"Natalie is the love of his life and whatever happened between you two was just a fling. He'd never stoop to your level. Why are you even here" His forehead squeezes into crispy lines at he frowns at me, showing his displeasure, "have you no any shame?"

A bitter scoff rolls from my throat because this guy right here is far ahead of himself. I can feel my wolf getting upset and threatening to surface with bared fangs, but I do my best to stay cool, to maintain our anger level.

"Just get out of this place before it's too late," Bruce threatens.

"That woman, Natalie whom you just mentioned is my mother," I break this to him with my hands folded across my chest. And Calhoun is my mate, I almost add. But I bite my tongue to refrain from this.

A look of uncertainty flashes through Bruce's eyes at my response.

"You're Natalie's daughter?" His eyes are enlarged in their sockets.

And with a heavy heart, I nod.