Chapter Six

CHAPTER 6

I drove and went straight to the hospital.

Mamaya ko na iisipin kung anong mangyayari sa'min ni Alary ngayong alam na ng mga kapatid niya ang higit pa sa pagkakaibigan na relasyon namin. Ano kaya ang iniisip niya ngayon?

I also don’t know what gotten in me. I was celibated for almost four years. Even with Aslan, I just couldn’t do it. And now, it’s too easy to a girl?

I saw a commotion near the inquiry desk before I go directly to my office.

I cleared my throat just to get their attention because they didn't even notice my presence, "What's the fuss all about, Nurse Faye?"

Sabay na bumati ang ilang mga nurse at doktor.

Tumalima agad ang tinawag kong nurse at umayos ng tayo. Ang iba'y bumalik sa mga dapat nilang gawin.

"Doc, your brother scolded us earlier. The billing department got heated because your brother check that some patients had pending balances. Hindi ko po alam pero nagtingin siya. Nandyan din po ang Daddy n'yo," yumuko ito at hinintay pa ang sasabihin ko.

Tumango ako sa kanila at wala ng sinabi pa sa kahihiyan na ginawa ng kapatid ko.

Instead of going to them, I thought it would be better to go to my office, do some errands and sign all the documents I haven't signed yet.

I still need to talk to the board of directors so I appoint a meeting sooner.

My brother forced to stop an operation that almost killed a patient. Good thing and I came, four hours in the operating room, its heartbeat was restored to its normal. Pagod at hapong-hapo akong bumalik sa opisina.

Lalong nadadagdagan ang inis ko kay Wyatt. Siya rin ang nagpakilala sa'kin sa gagong Aslan na 'yon. Kumulo na naman ang dugo sa mga naalala.

It was so shocking to think about punching him, gladly, I did, but I wish I can just kill him, though.

Si Alary. I don't know why, even in this situation, she is still bothered by my thoughts, as if she has never disappeared here. Naririnig ko pa rin sa aking tenga ang halinghing niya habang nag-iisa kami, kumastigo na naman ang bagay na nasa pagitan ng aking hita.

Gusto ko na magduda sa pagkakakilanlan ng kasarian ko maging ang aking oryentasyong sekswal. God, no. I was really doubting. Being insatiable in sex with her was somewhat wrong.. and I can't help it.

Parang mali— bakla ako. Natotomboy na ba ako sa bestfriend ko?

Napatawa ako sa naisip. Hindi ko namalayang may pumasok na sa aking opisina, umangat ang kilay nito at napangiti. Kasunod nito ang magaling kong kapatid.

I go beyond ferocious. Kahit malaki ang utang na loob sa kapatid ay lamang ang aking inis.

"Dad. Bakit pati dito sa ospital ay nangingielam si Wyatt?" Lalong nadaragdagan ang galit ko sa kapatid.

"Kayo mag-usap ng kuya mo. Hindi ako kasali d'yan. May surprise ako sa'yo, ba't ako ang pinapagalitan mo?"

Gusto ko mang mapatanga sa isip bata niyang pagsagot ay umiling na lang ako.

My father sat down while my brother remained standing.

Tumingin ang huli ng diretso sa'kin at pailalim na tumitig. "This hospital will lose money if you let patients not to pay, know that this is not a hospital for beggars. You're not here so you don't know what's going on. This is private and personal hospital, not a public one." He answered sarcastically as if he knew everything.

"At dapat hayaan na lang sila? One of my patients nearly died! We must still be mindful to our patient's clinical needs, not by the patient's finances. Even when I'm not here, I'm aware in everything. Maybe you're right, dapat nga siguro gawin natin 'tong pampublikong ospital. Hindi naman ako naghihirap and I'm still a businessman."

I'm about to blurt out that I'm still the CEO of Agapello Corp. and Industry. After the accident, Dad let him lead for the mean time until it reached for almost four years. If he still going to push this through, I'm afraid we reach to the point reprimanding each other.

Sa isip ko'y inangkin n'ya na ito pero wala naman na sa'kin 'yon. May pinapatakbo rin akong ospital na pati ngayon ay pinapakelaman niya.

Parang nanlamig naman ito at yumuko. "Alright, I won't bustle the hospital anymore. You better run it."

My reserved brother no longer argued and returned to his stoic face.

Kahit papano'y naging maayos na ang usapan namin. I remember what Dad was about to say so I turned the topic off and open another one.

"Your grandma said you're not in your pad this past few days, where have you been? Anyways, Nikita is back in the country. Do you know who she is?"

Tumikhim si Wyatt at sa akin at nakapagtatakang siya ang sumagot nito.

"One of her ex, Pa," lahat ay alam ni Wyatt sa akin. Magmula ng mawalan ako ng ala-ala ay siya ang naging tanungan at takbuhan ko.

I have exes. Wyatt said that I do girlfriends to cover up my true gender identity. It makes sense.

But, am I really trying to hide my gender? Confused and perplexed, I tried to ask my father.

"What about her?"

"I talked to his father and he is planning to merge with our company in exchange of marrying her daughter. You never told us that you two were about to get engaged before you know..."

Pumintig ang ulo ko sa bagong impormasyon. Napahawak ako sa sentido at umiling.

I almost get married. With Nikita?

"Pa, Klarius is still experiencing dissociative amnesia. Let's always take a reminder and be careful to the information we convey. Baka lalong hindi siya makaalala." Wyatt seemed to be the doctor to me so Dad just nodded.

Fuck, sa takot kong 'di na muling makaalala ay hindi ko pinipilit ang sarili, pero napakatagal na ng apat na taon. The memory of the triggering event may never come back completely, so, does the girl Nikita have to do with this?

"Ikasal? I'm not sure, Dad. Maybe I'm not getting any younger but you still have your eldest. Siya na lang ang ipakasal niyo tutal siya na ang namamahala sa kumpanya n'yo."

Wyatt's face seemed to light up and immediately agreed with me, taking every opportunity he will get to maintain and retain his position on our father's company.

"See, Dad? Wyatt is much more responsible and more entitled to have your company."

Wyatt stared at me and I felt a change in his pretense façade. Malambot ang ekspresyon sa mukha niya kaya napangiti ako. He’s the only one who can run the company more than any one else.

I just can't get married right now, not anytime soon when I'm thinking about my best friend. I almost forgot about me being gay. So am I considering marriage? To whom?

Alary. Kusang may sagot ang isip ko sa mga tanong na naglalaro rito.

Baliw ka, Klarius.

"You sure about that, Wyatt? Your brother and Nikita have past. Isn't it awful to know?" I couldn't consider Dad's query.

"Past is not an issue, Pa. Just, trust me." My brother was sure, answering my father.

"I always do, Wyatt. But Klarius, why don't you want to get married?" Si Alary.

"I have someone in my mind, Pa. I don't know too."

Napatango ito at ngumiti. "Babae ba?"

What? Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanya. Anong ibig niyang sabihin?

"What do you mean, Dad?"

Tumingin sa akin si Wyatt, alam kong si Aslan ang iniisip niya. Gusto kong sabihin na hindi 'to lalaki pero kaharap namin si Dad at alam kong magtataka siya sa pinagsasabi ko.

He knows I'm not a gay so it's not something to do with me for having a girl, but to Wyatt, he knows my secret.

May galit na naman sa mata nito at biglang nagpaalam na umalis.

Nang gumabi'y dumiretso kami sa bahay ni lola dahil nag-aalala raw ito.

No message from Alary, for the second time, I try not to contact her too cause I know she's also battling with her mind or maybe with her sister. They know my gender identity after all.

"Oh, my grandson. I missed you, my boy. I went to your unit but you weren't there, where did you stayed for a few days?" sinalubong ako ni Lola at agad tinanong nito.

"La, I'm at Alary's apartment—"

"Alary? Dios mio, isn't that your friend? But it's not that bad as long as I know you're not gay."

Hindi ko na narinig ang huli niyang sinabi at nagpatuloy sa lamesang may nakahanda ng pagkain.

"Kailan ba siya ulit makakapunta rito? Hindi man lang niya ako dinalaw.." May tampo sa boses nito at kumain. "Buntis na ba siya, apo?"

"So you are pertaining to Alary earlier, son?" singit ni Dad.

"Earlier? Anong naikwento niya, Jet Braun?"

"That he doesn't want to get married to Nixie because he likes someone else.

SIla na lang dalawa ang nag-usap habang ako ay nakikinig lang.

Ayan na naman ang pagiging chismoso ng aking ama.

Nagmamadali ang matandang babae na tawagin ang nars.

"My cellphone, Luna." Pagkaabot sa kanya ng telepono ng kanyang private nurse ay may agad itong tinawagan. "I told you, he's not gay.." bumulong ito at kiming tumawa.

When realization hits me, my lola concludes that something was happening between me and Alary, which is true.

Buntis?

Dali-dali akong tumayo at nakalimutan ng magpaalam kay Dad at Lola.

There's a big possibility that I got her pregnant, no, I'm sure of it.

It's surprising that I don't feel nervousness or getting afraid while bounding the road to her condo.

It's a different warmth, agitation and excitement.

Alary's pregnant with me. Oh, God.