Chapter 7: the tide II

Kings International Church, Ikeja was filled with mixed circles of people from across the country and overseas too. Military officials in their uniforms and their various medals pinned to their clothes, stood in an angular row, saluting at the altar where his body lay.

I felt an excruciating pang of agony overwhelm me as I took in the sight of his widow and only daughter. They were sitting at the front, using each other as a support for their tears.

It was relieving though, at least they had shoulders to cry on, they had each other unlike Tayo and me.

"How is the hand," Emeka said while slapping me lightly on the back. He was referring to my now cast up hand that I felt like tearing off every minute. It was really impairing my movements and I almost felt useless without the complete full use of my hands.

"I can't wait to take it off," I replied as we both walked down the aisle, heading towards the altar

"I heard it's a lady charmer," he said and that made me look at him with my eyebrow raised.

"Dude girls dig the whole 'injured while defending the world' thing," he added halting his steps a little to glance at me.

"How do you even think?" I wondered because his train of thoughts were sometimes too Emeka-ish.

"Like a guy who knows the way of women, unlike some people."

"We are at a funeral," I enounced as a little reminder before I began walking forth again.

"I know."

"And do you know that you're the only one looking really chirpy rather than sorrowful," I observed turning to look at him and found his face etched in confusion.

"I am sad!" He affirmed as a matter of fact and I folded my arms while giving him a knowing look

"Maybe not overly sad like those people over there," he said pointing to some women standing a few feet away from us.

An aged woman amongst them looked as though she was convulsing on her tears and it was a very disturbing sight. The other beside her was literally wailing and it made me ponder on how people actually faked emotions at burials. This was a close call as the both women were caricatures personified.

"Still Emeka, this is our Commander, we have known him for 10years. He is not some random stranger."

"I didn't have a personal relationship with him like you did," he said shrugging

"What are you talking about?"

"You were always closer to him than the rest of us D3," he continued and I saw a flash of an unreadable emotion in his eyes.

"He treated us equally and fairly."

"But with the exception of you like a son, " he said and I just rolled my eyes as we approached the altar.

The chat with Emeka had made me almost forget everything that surrounded me and when I took in the view of the coffin again, there was a feeling, something similar to a needle piercing into my insides.

A picture of him was plastered to the coffin as they kept it closed, out of respect, I thought. All his ICS awards of honour, almost a hundred of them, were hanging off the elegant wooden box.

Aged 60 but no matter what age, his life was still short lived. It wasn't his time and his death was not befitting for who he was. I shifted my gaze briefly and sighted a picture of his son, Derek.

He had always resembled his father from pictures I had seen. They both had the similar eyes of the asian race and were more light skinned than the rest of their family.

The photo didn't help as it brought more pain but at least I knew how he longed for his son deep down inside, now he could finally be united with him.

I didn't want to keep recalling but it was nearly impossible as I remembered another stolen memory. The anger was slowly rising inside me and I feared it would end up consuming me but then his words came to mind. It was a month after I had accepted his proposal and they surprisingly finalized documents for me to move into his place.

It was unexpected, I didn't want to leave home but what did I have left anyway.

~~~~

"Are you taking your medication?" He asked and I nodded absently as I was more focused on my target. I had been going at it for hours and knowing me, I never give up till I get what I want.

"Remember what we talked about, channel that energy," he said from behind me and I closed my eyes trying to concentrate on channeling any anger or resentment in me towards the circle.

It didn't work though but I was almost there as the bullet hit around the edge of the red dot.

I accepted the defeat finally as I sighed while taking off the ear plug in frustration. I wasn't yet used to the raging sound of guns, so I wore ear plugs to prevent that.

"Never give up, Lade. What are you most afraid of?"

The question seemed simple but it had a lot to it.

"Myself," I voiced after much thought.

"Why?"

"Because I don't believe I have control over certain things that I do and they will always have consequences," I said answering him honestly without skipping any details.

"Well then see that red dot as that part of you that stops you from closure. Take back your control from it!" he hankered and I allowed the words to sink in.

He was totally right. I needed to not be a slave to my inner self anymore. I was my own person and nothing could control me. 

More determined now and self assured, I turned facing the target and then I fired straight away.

Bullseye!

...

I had spent so much time at the altar paying my final respects with Emeka. I just couldn't turn back, I didn't want to accept that he was finally gone. It was too hard and I had to force myself to stop any tears.

I was a grown man and I had faced my own share of demons to know that tears would only destroy you more. I finally pulled myself out from that 22 year old that looked up to this man as a father and went back to D3 Agent Lade, who was just another of his officers.

Emeka and I saluted before we left the altar as more people continued to approach. I needed to leave this place and start searching for answers but there was one last thing I had to do.

"I have to take care of something," I said to Emeka and he nodded before we both went our separate ways.

My boots made no sound on the floors as I walked over to where the grieving family sat. It had been a long time since I had seen Faith, Richard's wife apart from a few days ago, when we had to give her the news. I was now standing before them and I noticed she had aged a lot in the past few days. She now had wrinkles and sunken eyes and I was sure she might not have even slept since the day she had received the tragic news.

Richard loved his wife dearly and the time I spent with them taught me a little lesson on never fading love. They had been together for almost 35years and still they behaved as though they were newlyweds from yesterday.

"Lade you made it," she called out, wrapping me in a big hug and I returned the gesture.

"I can't not be here," I said and she looked at me thankfully before her eyes moved to my arm.

"Does it still hurt?" she asked and honestly like hell but she didn't need more things to be worried about, so I just shook my head smiling.

"Mom I'm here for you, if you need anything," I said lifting her hands while holding them in mine as a form of comfort. I silently hoped I wasn't overstepping as I hadn't used that term in years now.

She didn't seem to mind though as she pulled me in for another hug and this time I heard a slight sniff erupt from her before she could stop it, so I hugged her firmer in turn.

It was when she pulled back from our embrace I remembered there had been a third eye watching the exchange, Crystal Young, Richard's only daughter and only child.

Pretty face, slender body and brown eyes, someone I would never forget, not even in my sleep.

I didn't say anything when I saw her, we just stood for a few seconds looking at each other, still so many things left unsaid. I recollected myself as I pulled her in a warm hug that hinted of signs of a once close relationship. There was a time when my whole world revolved around her and nothing else seemed to matter but I guess at some point we outgrew each other.

I pulled away from the hug but still maintained a close distance before placing my hands on her cheek. She leaned in, holding onto my wrist with her small fingers. Anyone around would imply that we were more than friends but actually we were more like best friends or soulmates.

"I'm so sorry," I said as the first tear fell from her eyes but I caught it with my finger. More tears followed and I brought her closer while resting my forehead against hers.

"Be strong Crystal," I said to her as she closed her eyes in pain.

"I can't," she whispered brokenly and instantly I pulled her in my arms again, placing her head to my chest. I seeked a way to take or share, even if it was a fraction of the hurt and sadness she felt.

"I'll always be here Crys, no matter what, I promise."

"Don't leave me too, again," she said and I just comforted her more till she stopped crying.