Chapter 12: the drift

Even as the car had driven out of the hospital grounds, I still felt uneasy and agitated at the now forgotten hospital event.

I left there as soon as I could as there was no time to deliver my righted annoyance at the staff or threats of suing. I needed to be away from there, so after hurriedly seeing the expected doctors and cajoling them into reporting my hand healed and my body ready for use, without a last glance, I took my leave with no intentions of returning.

It was as though I had witnessed something unreal or was it just my mind playing tricks. I replayed the events again, countless times as I sat in the back seat of the car, clutching the doctor's reports firmly. The dark parts of my past came knocking on my doors for a visit today and to say I was not aware of who was standing on the other side would not be clearly accurate.

I didn't know who the lunatic man was, I had never known him both then and now but somehow he had been more involved in my story than I would have permitted.

Coming out from my drowning thoughts, I read through the reports again and the fact that my actions today could result in something unfavourable in the future, nagged at me consistently in my head.

"Good Day General," I said into the line, once the coded voice had transferred me onto him.

"With whom do I speak."

"Agent Lade Sir," I confirmed my name and I was sure he had connected the reason for my call was about our discussion earlier today.

"Agent, you really are persistent."

"I get that a lot," I replied and he dropped a slight barely there laugh before clearing his throat and then proceeding.

"I presume you have the results."

"I just mailed them to your inbox a few minutes ago," I said and he went silent afterwards. 'He must have been checking to see them on his computer,' I thought while waiting for that task to be completed.

"It's cleared, General. My hands are already free and I'm good as new," I voiced when I noticed he was taking so much time.

"I shouldn't have let you go alone, seeing your eagerness you are capable of doing anything to come along," he thought out loud, dubiosity creeping in. I knew he wouldn't believe at the first interval and reception of the news but adamant persuasion always prevailed.

"Call the Central hospital, it's not forged," I assured.

"If your life is put at risk because of a bad hand then it's your call not mine," he said, washing his hands off again from any problem that may arise.

"I'm ready for the extraction and I give you my word, we will be successful," I declared finally before the call was disconnected.

Despite the doctor's initial words, I felt no pain still and I earnestly hoped it would stay that way.

The car had just entered the junction of Bade Thomas street in Surulere and so many memories began to flood back and fill up my thoughts in an absolute state of reminiscing.

My old home stood in its former glory at the far end of the street but I was stunned as I took in the battered and roughed up sight of it. I had remembered there had once been a trail of Ixora flowers, lined up at the entrance but now they had all withered away. The white paint on the walls had turned black in some areas, almost all, and its roofs were tattered with some hanging off at its edges.

I couldn't recognize what I once called home but only the memories that still seemed fresh as I looked around, reassured me that I was truly in the right place.

I wondered though, maybe they had packed out as that was the only logical explanation for the rapid deterioration of this place. Who would I find as I walked up to the door? Will it be they or some stranger? I thought but aside that, everything was conflicting.

Most times, I allowed myself to reflect on the good days, when we were still that perfect family. Those periods of my life where what built me and I refused to dwell on the belaboured and hard memories. At that thought a tear escaped but I wiped it quickly as only thoughts of my family could manage to break through my hardened shell and almost always made me feel again.

I walked forward slowly, my hands falling free down my side as I proceeded. I had removed the cast and even if it was still a bit weird to not have it on, I knew I would have to eventually get used to it. 

I had come up the steps, now facing the black door up close with my hands suspended in the air as my fists folded in a quest to knock and announce my presence.

I was afraid. Would things be different or what if they hadn't forgiven me? Truly, I missed my family but did they miss me equally. Had they at least tried to recall once, the memories of me like I did theirs regretfully each passing day? I lowered my head with a sigh before slowly bringing down my hands, 'it was a mistake coming here,' I thought.

10 years was enough time to solidify grudges as well as mend broken hearts but I highly doubted it was the latter. They made it clear that they didn't need me the last time, what made me think they would now?

I stumbled backwards, retreating in my steps looking distraught and defeated. 

I had abandoned my family but I liked to believe they did me first, and I had nothing left to collect here.

"Sound the europhic bells with each chime a clarion call for festivities, indeed the Prodigal Son has returned," I heard a voice tease with intentions of parody and ridicule after the sound of a door opening was heeded.

I turned sharply in surprise and my eyes beheld the now older face of my little brother Tayo. 'He should be about 26 now,' I thought as the sight of him made my heart soar. I hadn't realized I had missed him so much until now, he had changed.

His soft features of when he was a boy had now hardened equally by age and I assumed stress. It must have been hard for him to fend for the family alone and he had every right to hate me even the more.

"Tayo," his name fell off my lips like a whisper of something sub rosa just as I was still trying to convince myself that this was really my brother I hadn't seen in 10yrs.

I remembered then when we were so close before the tragic incident happened and our perfect family bubble shattered.

My feet weren't connected with my brain but my heart as it seeked to proceed forward against all odds. It moved an inch but quickly I stopped myself because I knew the outcomes would be the exact opposite of how it played out in my mind. A large part of me wished to discard all the hate and engulf him a bone crushing hug, it was only a wish because a smaller and more sensible part of me knew better than to do so.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I-I wanted to see how you were doing," I said when I had found my voice, answering his previous question.

"You are already 10 years late Lade," he pointed out bitterly and I couldn't even find any sliver of hope of him forgetting on his features.

When he said that my eyes dropped from his in guilt as I brought them to the concrete steps below. 

"Tayo I'm sorry for everything."

"It's still too late for that also," he responded right away and I looked at him again, more intently but I couldn't see through the resolute brick wall he had put up to hide his emotions. All I was met with was an unfamiliar unbreakable front that was being presented before me now.

"I understand," I replied while sighing before folding my hands to keep me from mistakenly spilling out what was hidden in history.

He looked at me a moment longer before pulling the door open and disappearing inside. I had thought he deemed that as the end of our reunion, signifying that I should leave. I didn't follow him and as I was about to go in the opposite direction, a few seconds later, my eyes fell on the measurable space the door had left before reaching the wall. I smiled a bit in relief, accepting his invitation to come in, he hadn't shut his door fully.