HAZELAs soon as the sound of Ramon's voice hits my ears, my eyes snap to his. I can see the physical ache in them, that he lies to me tells me isn't there, and my heart nearly shatters on the spot. How can I do something like this to him?"Why haven't you told her?" He asks, knitting his eyebrows together and trying his best not to make his voice rough. I chew on the inside of my cheek as I force myself to keep eye contact with him. I shouldn't be so ashamed of myself, but I am."I can't, Ramon." My voice can barely be heard. It feels like I've only just moved my lips, but I know that he heard me.I watch his eyes move around my face, waiting for a more explanatory response. His chest moves slowly, and I wish this would have happened after at least twenty four hours home."I can't tell her something that I can't even tell myself, Ramon." I swallow, hard. The pressure coming with his stare is enough to make me cry. Just this kind of discussion with my husband makes me feel like the wo
RAMONAnger, worry and confusion....every single emotion in between consumes me. My body goes numb from the words Philip Amos had just spoken on the phone.My eyes fall to Bertha's, sitting across from me and giving me a just-as-worried look. It falls quiet. Too quiet."Sir-" Philip says through the phone, trying his best to regain my attention. Bertha and I make silent eye contact, and she takes that moment to leave without another word.I'm frozen in my place. Unable to make a sound. I must have heard him wrong. There's no way this could have happened. Not to Hazel. She doesn't deserve something like this.Why is the moon goddess so cruel? Why can't she give us a break? I clench my jaw and squeeze the phone tighter in my grasp."Don't." I snap into the microphone. "We will be there in a few hours, Philip. Thank you." My voice is harsh, as I try to collect my thoughts.Instead of ending the phone call like any normal man, my anger gets the best of me and the phone turns into parts in
HAZELIt's a day after my parent's funeral, and Ramon and I head back home with my little brother.I thought that after the funeral, the pain would lighten up. However, I was completely wrong. The second I entered the funeral home was the second that everything became so real to me. All of this really happened.I still cannot believe it, even when I was surrounded with everyone I love, looking at the two caskets. Their pictures above each one of them, happily smiling and holding hands.It tears me apart, because my little brother had no idea what was going on. He would look between Ramon and I with a curious expression on his face, wondering why I was crying.Even Ramon cried....in front of everyone. The fact that he had done this made it that much harder for me. My family had made such an impact on everyone's lives and now they're just gone, in the blink of an eye!I hate that I never got to say goodbye in person and I hate myself for moving on with my life. They should have moved in
HAZELI stand where he was initially standing and breathe deeply. The woods remind me of the day I was with Trevor, the day I met Ramon. It's borders are marked with his scent and patrolled by many faithful Pack members. Beyond that is a dangerous place and that's exactly where Ramon was looking. I hope that what ever he was thinking about, he doesn't decide to go towards the hidden dangers."Baby," Ramon calls from the doorway, tearing me from my train of thought. I turn to face him and hum in response. His breath taking body is exposed, only covered by a pair of boxers. The tattoo on his chest rises and falls with every deep breath he takes.He nods his head, signaling for me to come inside. Without a word, I step inside and he locks the door behind me. Quietly, he moves the curtains to hide the sun for tomorrow morning and disappears into the bathroom."Come here, I've missed cuddling with you." I say when he comes back from the bathroom. He gives me a playful smile, his lack of sl
HAZELSunlight pours into the bedroom, pulling me from my slumber. The thick smell of sex from only hours before and the smell of bacon frying in a pan fill my senses. The soft sounds of slow, classical music plays downstairs, along with Myles' laughter.I rub my eyes and glance at the alarm clock on Ramon's side of the bed. I haven't over slept, and I'm completely thankful for that. However, if it were up to me I could probably sleep in all day today. My body is sore and I could use a bit more rest. However, instead of doing what my body begs me to do, I climb out of bed and tug on Ramon's shirt from the previous night.Our wolves are reconnected in more than just a sensual way. Bringing us together like that connects our wolves, giving us a greater understanding in our minds, bodies, and hearts. I can physically feel his relief after what he had done, and I have no shame in it. After all, I did marry the man. I'm allowed to get dick whenever I feel like it. No shame.Entering the ba
HAZEL"What the hell are you doing?" Ramon asks, making me jump. I glance back down the the computer and try my best to think of what his password might be. Ramon won't tell me what's going on."What's your password?""You won't find what you're looking for on there, Hazel." He says lowly, leaning against the doorframe. I glare at him and raise me eyebrow until he gives me his password. "My little wolf." He sighs.I type in the password, and a photo of the two of us on our wedding day pops up as his background. Files line both sides of the computer, each carefully labeled and alphabetized. My eyes wander around hopelessly, because I'll never be able to know what he's not telling me without a label."Just give up. I know you better than to keep something like that on my computer." He sighs out loud. I glance over at him before falling back in the chair. Crossing my arms over my chest I pout in my husbands direction."Just tell me-" I grumble. "It can't be that bad-can it?" Thinking ove
HAZELSitting on the edge of the bed, I sip on a mug of hot tea. The aroma fills my nose while Ramon's soft snores fill my ears. The house is quiet, and since Ramon has fallen asleep I've been stuck alone; thinking.I bring the mug to my lips and then back into my lap. My mind is on a constant replay of everything that has happened to me in the past year. To us. This year seems to be a huge disappointment. Not only were we told that we won't be able to have a baby; that Ramon has been waiting so long for, but the only family we have is dead within a blink of an eye.Without a doubt, I am happy with Ramon. Up until now, I've never hated life. Since this year has began, I don't think that I've stayed genuinely happy in quite a while- and I know that Ramon knows that. I also know that deep down, he is just as unhappy. I just hope that what ever it is, is something we can work through. I love him too much and I'm terrified to even think about him letting me go.I run my fingers through my
HAZELLight shimmers it's way through the curtains, lighting the room with hues of orange and yellow. Carefully I turn to face the clock on the bedside table and sigh out loud at what it reads.6:12am.It is only a few hours ago when Ramon and I finally went to bed. The only reason we did is because he finally got tired. My body aches, but somehow I manage to reach out to touch him. Instead of touching his warm body like I expect; I touch the ice cold space where his body was when I fell asleep last night.I knit my eyebrows together in confusion and glance towards the bathroom but it's empty. He's not in there! The satisfaction I had before is replaced with disappointment. I never ask Ramon to stay with me; but shouldn't that just be a routine? Even if I am married to the man, waking up alone after a night like ours; still makes me feel like I'm only wanted for sex. No matter how much I know it isn't true- it still tends to get to me.Sitting up in the bed, I look around at my surrou
HAZELFive years are over since Ramon marked me and turned me into a Lycan. For the last three years, my body has been responding and I've been slowly turning into a full blown Lycan and on the fourth year, I finally fully transformed to a Lycan and that's when Ramon and I decided to start trying for a child.However, I sometimes keep on reminding my mate about his mistakes which happened around three years ago. Whenever I remember how he fooled me into believing that both of us were unable to have a baby of our own, I feel like swallowing him alive.He has been apologising since then and even now that I am three months pregnant with his heir. So far, we've been taking the necessary precautions as adviced by the doctors so as to give birth to a fully developed Lycan. Both Ramon and I do not want to lose our child just as he lost his son with Paloma.At least, Ramon's heart is at rest now that I am carrying his child and he keeps on hoping that everything will go well eventually.He n
HAZELWhat the hell? Why would Ramon do that to me? I know that I may have gotten off on the wrong foot and came at him a little aggressive- but he shut the door. On. My. Face. After I brought him food and everything!"Are you serious?" I grumble aloud. Quiet. I can hear the crickets chirping outside. I clench my jaw and reach for the doorknob to open it. As soon as my fingertips touch the knob, the latch clicks and he locks the door.Wow. Just...wow."Fuck you," I mutter and walk away from the door. 'It's quite unlike you to make the first move, little wolf.' Ramon says through the link. I groan and stomp myself back down the hall. Who does he think he is?I stop in my tracks when I hear Ramon cough. I pause for a moment longer, waiting for him to open the door. He never does. My frown grows.I get that he's all emotional and on his man period, but this is just dramatic. Why are men like this? I remember the time that I made my dad cry and he was mean to me for a whole week! This is
HAZELShe was beautiful. Her eyes sparkled like the night sky. Her hair fell down her back as if it were made of silk. I'm sure her skin was soft, and I bet she had the warmest laugh.'Stop it!' She grumbles, inside my head. I can't help but compare myself to the person he had before. She got him. Not me. She was the one who got to carry his heir, not me. She was the one who got told she was the love of his life. Not. Me. I am nothing more than a blueprint that had been lost for ages that had sloppily been built back together. I am not me. I am just a replacement of her.I've always felt this empty void in me, could that be it? Has it been because of her this entire time? I cannot blame her for any of this, as much as I want to. I stare at her picture with a thousand questions in my head. I don't look a thing like her. There is something about her that seems familiar- but I know that's just the wolf's spirit that had resided in the both of us.I think about how much her heart must hav
HAZELShe was beautiful. Her eyes sparkled like the night sky. Her hair fell down her back as if it were made of silk. I'm sure her skin was soft, and I bet she had the warmest laugh.'Stop it!' She grumbles, inside my head. I can't help but compare myself to the person he had before. She got him. Not me. She was the one who got to carry his heir, not me. She was the one who got told she was the love of his life. Not. Me. I am nothing more than a blueprint that had been lost for ages that had sloppily been built back together. I am not me. I am just a replacement of her.I've always felt this empty void in me, could that be it? Has it been because of her this entire time? I cannot blame her for any of this, as much as I want to. I stare at her picture with a thousand questions in my head. I don't look a thing like her. There is something about her that seems familiar- but I know that's just the wolf's spirit that had resided in the both of us.I think about how much her heart must hav
HAZEL"Did you love her?" I break the silence. Ramon runs his fingers over my face and tucks a chunk of hair behind my ear. It isn't angry. It isn't forced. Everything is calm."Who?" He wonders, scrunching his eyebrows. His eyes search mine for some kind of answer, and he eventually realizes who I am talking about. He lets out a breath and responds."I did." He says softly. "We fall in love with many people in our lives. You are the last love I will meet, for now." He smiles. I knot my eyebrows at him."So eventually you'll move on?" I wonder. "Why didn't that work out?" Ramon shrugs his shoulders."I will never find anyone that compares to you. The only person I can ever love besides you, has to be like you." He kisses my forehead. He doesn't say another word."Can you at least tell me about her?" I wonder out loud. What was she like? What made Ramon want her?"What is there to tell you?" He wonders back to me, confused. When I do not answer him, he speaks up. "I figured you already
HAZEL'Do you really think that I will be loyal to an animal?' I growl, managing to scratch his face with my claws. He stumbles and loses his balance.'You are weak and you need me. Don't forget that.' I hiss. Things have escalated quickly. His wolf is being extremely dominant right now. I continue to test his patience.Ramon growls and it echos through the house. 'The only thing I need from you right now is between your pretty little legs. If not that, you have no other use for me!' he confesses and I immediately tense.I lunge at Ramon, sending us both flying into a table. The sound of glass crashing fills my ears. I snap my teeth at his face, missing it by only a few millimeters. Instantly, it turns really violent, very quickly.I cannot believe that that's the man who I decided to marry. I really thought that he was better than what he actually is. My mind is racing and my body is aching, but he has hurt me for the last time. I will either come out of this by myself, or dead.Ramo
HAZELThe car ride home with Ramon is silent. Other than when he tried to start a conversation with me by asking me what the hell I thought I was doing out running while I'm in heat. It really isn't the kind of thing you say to someone who you just left with your friends. Ramon's grip on the steering wheel looks like it's going to break it, and he's going unreasonably fast. I must have pissed him off.When we pull into the driveway, Ramon puts the car in parking mode and turns to look at me. His jaw is clenched, and his hair is a mess. "Please never run off like that again, Hazel. I was worried sick about you." He goes to reach for my arm and I jerk away."You were worried about me?" I furrow my eyebrows. "You didn't call or anything while I was staying with Jack and Bertha. You didn't care how I was doing, so don't you dare say that you were worried sick about me after you got what you wanted from me." I growl loudly. "You, the first time you see me all you want to do is to sleep wit
HAZELI wake up feeling the worst I have felt in months. It isn't a sickness in my stomach making me need to throw up. It's the type of feeling where you know what you have done is wrong and you just want to punish yourself in any way possible. My body still tingles as I roll over, feeling the warmth of the body next to my own.The heavy breathing next to my ear warms my neck, and the grip Ramon has around my waist is like that of a cobra's. I try my best to keep my heavy eyes open, but exhaustion is beating me right now. I shut my eyes and tell myself just five more minutes.I lie there in my thoughts, wondering why I have just let him in so easily. Maybe he would have changed his mind and taken me back? No. Ramon doesn't get influenced by that. He wouldn't. Maybe it's the fact that I desperately wanted him in ways that I shouldn't have, and I cannot blame it on my heat either. I wanted it even before I went into heat. Does that make me an awful person?I shouldn't have given in as e
HAZELAs the days drag into weeks, and the weeks into months, the only thing coursing through my veins is sadness and the thought of Ramon. I would be alright without him, but the truth be told; I am nothing without that man. He was the one who brought out my happiness, in it's most pure state. The feeling of his embrace was what kept me asleep all night long. Now I find myself waking up every hour of the night, reaching for someone who isn't there. Bertha and Jack always try and keep my mind off of that man, but nothing works. It comes in spurts: I am okay but then five seconds later my mood completely changes. I don't understand how one man can change my life completely.My heart yearns to be with the man that I love, the one who has changed me into a wife, a lycan, and most of all a woman. It was so childish of me to put my own wants before his needs. All he ever wanted was for me to be happy, and I wouldn't even let him get that. I would love to hear from him just one more time. I