She did, in more ways than the obvious. "Yes." "He says he knows you, and claims to have had you compromised." Her father continued. "Is this true?" Beth couldn't answer.Her father's words cut her deeply. What could she say? That it was true? That what she thought was to remain a secret had seen the light of day? She would never be able to overcome the shame it would bring her and her family. It might about kill her parents, not after they had made an alliance on her behalf with Mr. Richmond.She could not refuse either, Lord Carlisle was right in the room, he would expose her lie immediately."Bethany?" Her father's voice startled her. She looked up, shaking slightly. "You are my child, and not minding status and wealth, I would believe you over him." He sat forward and dropped his voice. "Tell me, are his words true?"The tears welled up. Her breathing became unsettled. "Father, I never…" Gwen had been right. Until that moment, she never regretted being with Lord Carlisle. She fina
Beth laid her head on her younger sister's laps, unable to do anything else but breath. Her tear glands were empty, her eyes were too tired to cry anymore. Gwen was lightly rubbing down her hair, comforting her as best as she could. Her nose was hurting and so was her heart."What am I to do now, Gwen?"Lord Carlisle had forced his way into her life, into her home and now, into her father's decision. All was in disarray because she had agreed to be his friend.Gwen exhaled. "The choice is no more yours. The decision has already been made." She rubbed on her temple. "Father and the Duke are drawing up the contracts as we speak, with Uncle Fitzwilliam as the witness. And Lord Carlisle says he wants no dowry."How did she come upon this? "Have you been eavesdropping again?" Beth asked, her voice breaking."I am not as patient as you."She had no energy to reprimand her sister. She exhaled too. "How did it go so wrong, Gwen? Father must be ashamed of me."Gwen tapped lightly on her should
Her father's hand paused. "You would not be. He has promised to keep you happy.""For how long?"He sighed, exasperated. "Child, it is settled. It would be best you go put your belongings in order. As decided, you leave after the ceremony.""Father_""I am busy." He dismissed her.Beth left the room heartbroken, even more than she was before she stepped in. What had she been expecting? That he would finally heed her words and mind her thoughts and her feelings more than Lord Carlisle's words? That all could be forgiven?She walked on, her feet carrying her until she was outside. Without much thought, Beth removed her shoes and stepped on the grass. It was moist from the dew and cold. And it offered freedom.Lord Carlisle would never bind her, but Beth knew she would never really be free. Her title would bind her; her authority would restrain her. His status would overwhelm her. She raised her eyes to the sky. The stars were out and beautiful, hanging like a thousand diamonds on a dark
Beth seemed intrigued. She asked. "Well, was he able to?""How silly of me! Of course, he wasn't. There was more blood that day than the day he was born, I think." Beth gave a short laugh and quickly controlled herself, putting her hand over her mouth, but her eyes were smiling. "He couldn't cry, of course. Although, I cried enough for the both of us.""He must have been scared of horses for a while, I bet." Beth said softly and slowly, her face showing so much enjoyment. She sent a glance his way. Did she think he couldn't hear them? Or see her?His mother scoffed. "You would think so." She rolled her eyes. "He was clamouring for the horse the very next day. But I obviously did not permit him. I decided that that much blood was enough for one week." They turned to the gravel road leading to Torrence Hall – his mother's home, but the women were deeply engrossed in their conversation to notice. After the long trip, they seemed to have finally relaxed. The sun was setting with a nice hu
Beth sniggered sarcastically at how greatly her life had taken a turn when she caught Lord Carlisle's valet, Albert, watching her. He had a strange look in his eyes, one that reflected annoyance and repulsion. It told her immediately that the man did not want her there, he did not want her by Lord Carlisle's side. Was it his loyalty to his Lord or to the Lady that had been affianced to him?The Lady that had been affianced.Lady Cossington.Another person that would hate her and wish her ill. It was suffocating. Everyone seemed to despise her – her father, Albert, Lady Cossington, with great possibility, the staff at Carlisle Crest and probably, the whole gentry.Oh, how she missed Gwen!Beth cast a caution eye towards Lord Carlisle and was surprised to find him asleep. Between Torrence Hall and Carlisle Crest, he had fallen asleep. He must be equally exhausted. Not that she was bothered. It was better. They could never converse with each other, it would be too awkward after what she
"What does it say?" Lord Carlisle's voice rang with nonchalance."'What does it say?'" Lord Cossington repeated with disdain. "Unbelievable." A small chuckle. "It says here that you move to end, might I add, your long engagement to my sister, with compensation." He scoffed. "You end your engagement with us for her." He pointed at Beth. "For your mistress?"Mistress! Beth pressed her lips together. She knew the life that awaited her and the unkind things would be said about her, but to have such things said while she was in the room, it was agonizing. But it was not untrue. She had indeed had an affair with Lord Carlisle, she had been his mistress even for the shortest of time."I thought we agreed," Lord Cossington continued. "that you can keep her as your mistress even after your wedding to Harriet. We_""Keep her as a mistress?!" Lady Cossington exploded. "I would never share him with the most noble of women, let alone with that tramp!"Beth swallowed. It was upsetting to hear how s
Beth could hear the crack of static in the air. The fire in the fireplace flickered slowly. She noticed how quickly Lord Cossington held his sister but the damage had already been done. Lord Carlisle's anger must have been stoked again. She was grateful she wasn't the receiver."Harriet, keep shut.""Would you assault me again? Push me to the floor this time?"Lord Carlisle was quiet, until, "You challenge me?" He questioned.Lord Cossington stepped forward, shielding his foolish sister. "No, she does not. She would never."Lady Cossington pushed her way back. "I should be your wife, not her. I waited for years, and while I was waiting, you disregarded my honesty and chased after this tramp." She glared. Beth turned her head, looking at other things in the room, fearing another assault. "She doesn't deserve you.""Cossington?""Harriet?" He implored.She wasn't listening. "I should be able to_""Be quiet!" He yelled at her. Shocked, her sobbed stopped abruptly. When she tried to talk
December 1826Beth sat at the table finishing up the embroidery she had promised Gwen for her eighteenth birthday. It would be done in enough time to have it sent to Westside Manor. She had promised to finish it in six days, just in time for her sister's birthday. If she couldn't be present for their traditional family dinner, the least she thought she could do was finish up her gift and send it along.It wouldn't be the same as when she was with her family. Who would assist Grace with the cooking? Who would distract Gwen so the gifts could be well hidden? Who would listen to her mother's tale of womanhood and family ties? She sighed. How greatly she would be missed. She hoped the day went well.Gwen had wanted her there. She had sent letters to that effect, inviting Beth to Westside Manor. But Beth knew better. She couldn't. The ton were making fun of her and Lady Cossington spared no time telling her how she was a thief and a seductress. She couldn't let Lord Carlisle come to know o
She knew he truly cared for her too. Why would he not tell her he loved her? He had cried when he came to know of their child. He protected her from the scorn of the ton and stayed from her when he thought she wanted freedom from him. To Beth, these were all forms of love. Why then would he then not tell her he loved her? His gaze lifted and their eyes locked. "If I do," he whispered. "I'm afraid I would end up losing you." Her heart slammed, filling once more with love for him. she was absolutely breathless now. She never thought she could love him more. He was broken, broken by the tragedy of his parents. Scared that if he admitted aloud to loving her, she would be lost. But Beth knew better, she knew she would not be, she could never love another nor leave him. She loved the Duke of Carlisle and nothing could change it. He was the one she loved. She saw his fear, that he would become like his father, who gave up love to protect his power and title, leaving behind another importa
* * *Beth gasped as Charles's lips took hers, the familiar sensation sending shivers over her body and a known heat to the core of her being. Her eyes closed. He brushed his mouth back and forth against hers as his hands came to her cheeks. Her nostrils tinged. Surprisingly, he smelt like flowers and tasted like the best sunrise.The pebbles dropped and she clasped his shoulders, pulling closer. The pressure increased. His hand held the back of her head as he fought to pry her lips open. She gave in, the kiss was one of hunger and need and longing. He kissed her as if he had sworn his life to it, never wanting to let go.But when air failed her and she protested. He released her mouth.Beth was reeling from the pressure of the kiss and Charles shared her sentiment. His breathing complimented hers as her lungs fought for enough air to keep her alive, while her head fought for thoughts to keep her sane and in place."Darling?" Charles asked as soon as he could breathe naturally.It had
April 1827The rain had finally given up the challenge and let up to a drizzle, but not before creating obstacles in the form of puddles and broken branches, and hiding the moon from sight. In a bid to destroy, the wind had brought down branches and uprooted trees. The workers and the men who catered to the trees would be quite preoccupied in the days to come.The Carlisle coach pulled through, hurtling down the road at the request of its master, bringing itself home. It struggled against the rocks and branches flung about. In the sky, the flashing lightning and cracking thunder gave a promise of the rain's return. It would again storm terrifically, it said.Albert properly held the flowers picked from Torrence Hall when they had made a brief stop, and the cigars Mr. Danbury had given him at Lanhandron for his Lord. Although he had refused, many times, the man did not adhere to him. Did he think there was another merchant who they went to?Charles held freely onto the safety strap as
***Charles had finished with his work and was going to his room, walking the dark halls alone. As soon as Albert had finished attending to him, assisting him change his clothes and putting out his documents in his study, he had sent the man away, needing to remain with his ledgers and work without the hovering presence of an overzealous servant.Over the weeks after his return, he had been sitting with his documents, checking and ascertaining to a fault the works of his solicitors and confirming the progress of his estates.Beth and the builders had, to a large extent, established an edifice and he couldn't be more proud of her. The materials needed for the windows and the doors had already been purchased. On a later day, he would pay the site a visit, but he knew there was nothing to worry about.The bank statements and cheques his solicitors had sent were beautiful. The farms were progressing, the lands had been cleared and prepared for planting. The other estates had been renovate
Beth searched for his emotion, searching to see if he truly was not angry. He wasn't. She turned her away, letting her eyes wander around. The sky was dark and save for the fire, it was all darkness. The wind blew, whispering to the fire, troubling it, and against her skin, causing goosebumps to rise. She sighed. It was warmer at the foot of the hill.How were they on the hill?!"We were standing by the foot of the hill." She mumbled to herself.Eric heard her. "Now, we are here, atop it. Isn't life wonderful?"It was. Wonderful and unpredictable. The grim feeling rose again, and Beth felt uncertain about the future, but she was almost sure of the disaster waiting to happen."Eric, we should not be here." She held his wrist. "This hill_"He cut her off. "What about the hill?" When his smile surfaced, it was one of melancholia. Beth had the silent feeling that he knew of what was to come but would not prevent it. Was he not afraid of it? Was he not scared for the future?If he was not,
"Beth. Beth!" Someone was whispering, calling out to her. The voice was close by, as though the caller was by her side, but also like they were afar off. It was a familiar voice. Beth stirred in her sleep, refusing to pay attention to the call, choosing rather to dive deeper into the world of sweet subconsciousness and unawareness."Bethany wake up, it's morning." The voice called again. She turned, pulling the covers higher as she allowed the darkness continuous hold on her tighten. The comfortable sleep carried her and she liked it. She enjoyed it.But the familiar voice would not relent. "Wake up, sister." It called again. She turned away from it, drowning it out. The bed covers wrapped perfectly around her, helping her remain where she was, far from the voice.Again, it called. "Wake up!!!" The caller shook her, forcing her to regain consciousness. She refused but he was as stubborn as her, finally she gave in. Annoyed enough, Beth forced her eyes open.The room was dark at first,
***Beth stayed with Lady Marjorie who was as excited as a church mouse and the group, laughing gaily at the jokes of Lord Witte. When it broke, she walked with Peter Sinclair, Lord Witte's son-in-law, before excusing herself, telling that her feet were tired and she needed to sit. She walked away to the fountain and sat herself down.The water was beautiful and golden due to the lamps set up about the place. It beckoned and she answered. Her fingers played lightly over the surface of the water and her contact with it caused ripples, distorted and obedient to the slow movement. The lines formed and swept silently by, but before they could scatter she would create yet another set of lines. It was a nonsensical act but it was fun for her, at least for the moment.The Willowbrook sisters had scared her with their words but it had made her receive a promise from Charles, a promise that everyday made life beautiful. Her words to their mother had been true. There was nothing to forgive. The
Beth shook her head. "No." She giggled. "Not too long ago, they saw me as a seductress and a thief. Soon they would see me as Bethany, and even if they don't, I am satisfied with being Lady Carlisle, after all Lord Carlisle is my husband, is he not? I would no more care for how people see me, it is their choice but I would demand my honour, it is my right."She was different. She was bolder. What had happened to the timid woman who was angry at the too quick a marriage and the new home she was to own and manage? The same who would always turn her away at every visit? Marjorie liked this woman. She was good for Charles. She was good for the Duchy. She was good for herself. Like this, she could face society and win even though many people still held contempt against her.She was brave."You are braver than I am and I consider myself quite brave. Marrying John was one of the greatest joys of my life, but there were days I was forced to regret it."The same people who bowed to her now, se
***Marjorie turned her head at every approaching carriage, hoping it to be the one from Carlisle Crest. They had not promised to be in attendance but she hoped they would, seeing as they had not rejected the invitation either. She wanted them to be more aligned with the ton and her ways, even if just a little bit. It was alright to have one's dealings, but society had some rules and breaking so many of them l might lead to not being accepted or worse invited to its norms and functions ever again. She knew Charles didn't care for societal rules but she did, and perhaps Beth might too and it would be cruel to steal it from the young woman.Mrs. Blackwell, Jacob Blackwell's new and older wife, waved to her and she waved in return. They did not run in the same circle but she was a nice woman who, like her, had defiled society and married the man she loved. When Mrs. Blackwell invited her in with a gesture, she refused and gesticulated back, saying she would be in the open area in a matte