Chapter 7

Tammy

Her stomach ache has intensified ten times than it had been the entire morning. She wasn't expecting her day to be all rainbows and unicorns, however, she didn't imagine it will turn this bad. Meeting him was the worst thing that could have happened to her and only thinking about it is making her sick. She cannot believe what a condescending jerk he was, prodding her with his long fingers like she was a child. What's that supposed to even mean? Her subconscious demands with pouty lips. The dialogue in her head ignites the flames of her frustration, even more, her outrage fuming the whole way home.

Who does he think he is?' she bursts out through gritted teeth as soon as the front door closes behind her. She fists her hands close to her body, striving to hold on to the little selfcontrol she has left. Her fingernails are digging mercilessly in her palms, while she channels all the anger out of her system. Closing her eyes she lets out a deep cleansing breath, but the image of him hovering just a few inches above her face keeps unrolling inside her eyelids. Soon, she becomes a victim of her own mind, trapped inside her head and forced to recall the few moments when she dared to look at him.

His wavy onyx hair has been cut longer on top, making his curls bounce as he moves. Sometimes, the longer locks cover playfully half of his forehead, hiding one of his aquamarine eyes and adding more mystery to his exotic look. She wonders how someone with such a dreadful character can be so attractive, almost unearthly looking. How come those full, heartshaped lips can be so seductive, yet capable of speaking such awful things.

Tormented and gasping for air, she opens her eyes only to find two oceans watching her somewhere from the back of her mind. Hazel sandy specks intertwine with dark blue waters, revealing a hidden realm in the depths of his blue gaze.

Has something happened? Are you ok?' Grace's startled voice brings her back, saving her from a cataclysmic meltdown.

Wiping down her hands on her polka-dotted apron, she check her granddaughter's temperature with the back of her hand. The truth is, Tammy looks as bad as she feels, and she still has yet to deal with the aftermath of the inner battle later on.

It's just a stomach ache. Nothing to worry about.' She sugar-coats the truth, leaving the whole deal out.

She wants nothing more than to tell Grace everything, but how could she? She has already lost her daughter, and now she could lose her grand-daughter, too. Instead, she puts on a miserable smile, adding one more name on the growing list of people she deceived today.

Remorseful, or maybe it's just the exhaustion taking its toll on her, she struggles to keep the dam of tears from flooding her eyes again. A deep sadness, a kind she had never felt before, emerges from nowhere, subduing her rage. Grace hugs her tightly to her chest, knowing too well now it's not the time to dig up for answers. Tammy has always been an open book to her, in spite of all her efforts of hiding out the truth.

Go upstairs and change. I'll make you my secret remedy for upset tummies' she jokes, hoping that it will make her feel a little better.

The rest of the evening passes in a blur. Grace's attempt to light up the atmosphere turns out to be a real success. She reminisces, long after the lights went out, about her daughter's childhood and how she met Ethan, her son-in-law. Hearing about her parents, Tammy shifts her focus on the story, rather than on her own misery, forgetting for a while about her problems. That's it until she goes to bed and finds herself alone again. The inexplicable sadness envelops her once more, delaying her sleep and torturing her soul. Her mind fills up with thoughts of him, of how divinely his spiky, black-haired chin bones are highlighting his olive complexion. Could it be longing? She wouldn't know.

When the alarm buzzes the next morning she wishes she could sleep for an eternity. Her eyelids had barely touched, and since she hadn't slept for two nights in a row, the purple circles under her eyes have become darker than ever.

Graceless, she gets out of bed and prepares for the day ahead. She doesn't expect much of it, only to end better than it had started. At least, one thing came out well from another sleepless night. Somewhere between counting her breaths and the first signs of dawn, she decided to tell her best friend, Sesh, everything. She will understand her, she always does.

As soon as the helix curls come into sight, she goes straight to her, grabbing her elbow and pulling her aside.

We have to talk.' The urgency in her voice is almost tangible.

Wha-What happened? Sesh responds baffled by her unexpected plea. It takes a while for the words to sink in, only to change her mind a second later. No, tell me now!' She demands, too nosy to wait any longer.

Tammy quickly shakes her head, afraid that someone might hear them. She can't deal with more complications right now.

Later. When we are alone.' she continues, emphasizing her last word. Sesh nods in understanding, although she itches to find out what happened. It's not like Tammy to act like this and since she didn't go to Nathan straight away, it can only mean that her story has a juicy gossip. She really hopes it does.

After classes, my place'. She replies, a tad too excited.

Sesh's father is away most of the time, his work requiring his presence on site. Come to think of it, Tammy doesn't recall to have seen him more than a few times in her life. The bright part is, they became best friends soon after Sesh's mother had been taken away, both sharing huge losses and being there for each other.

That's perfect. See you later'. She answers content she will soon get it over with.

The waiting is stretching the day into an interminable hide-and-seek game. Tammy is purposefully avoiding Lucas, hiding in her lab or rushing out the door right after the class is over. Her heart skips a bit as she enters the cafeteria at noon, only to find his spot at the back table empty. The familiar sadness enwraps her again, but she manages to shake it off as fast as it appeared.

When she leaves the Institute, she finds Sesh, by the front gate, impatiently tapping her foot. There is no more coming back from this and Tammy knows it too well.

The Platt's are one of the few that still live in what they call heritage homes'. The colonial houses are looking more opulent now, in between steel structures and glazed walls, than they did in the golden days. The front door has not even closed behind them yet, as Sesh grabs Tammy's hand and rushes her up the stairs to her room. She hastily takes the bags off from their shoulders and throws them on the floor.

Tell me everything!' The inquisition has officially started.

Seeing her bulging ebony eyes, Tammy would have burst into laughter was it not for the gravity of her confession.

All right, have a little patience, will you?' she replies showing a reticent smile. Then, after mending her voice, she continues on a more serious tone.

I don't know how to start...' she pauses, scratching her head and searching for an appropriate way to explain herself.

...Something is wrong with me. I have been feeling things I shouldn't and I don't know how or why. I mean, the tests came out all negative so far, but I know something is not right.' She pauses, breathing deeply. She didn't know it will be this hard.

...Yesterday was tough for me...' Tears start flowing down her cheeks at the memory of her parents.

The next few seconds seem like forever.

You must miss them so much', Sesh breaks the silence, comforting her. She would know. She lost her mom the same way as her.

Her words give Tammy enough force to keep going. She wipes away the wetness before carrying on.

I do. I really do, and hearing their names yesterday made it impossible for me to control it. I had to escape from there before I exploded. It was too late though. He'd already seen me.' The flashback seems so real, it feels like she is yet again in the Main Square hearing the eulogies.

I don't understand. Who saw you?' Confused, Sesh asks eagerly.

Lucas! The new guy. He caught me crying and it was too late for me to hide it.' She utters, pacing the room and running both her hands through her hair.

Sesh stares at her in shock. She doesn't know what is more terrible, that Tammy was crying or that she got caught. That's a hell of a motive to be exiled out of the city. She darts to the window and, from behind the curtains, her eyes start searching warily for the guards.

He didn't report me, you can relax!' Tammy spats out. I would have never put you in danger if I wasn't sure.'

Still bewildered and worried, her caramel-skinned friend looks her straight in the eyes. But how do you know? I mean how are you so sure he hadn't done it already? You know the rules, Tammy...' she didn't finish her sentence. They both know very well the consequences of being reported.

Tammy releases the air from her lungs in a deep, long puff. She wasn't even aware she was holding her breath. Defeated, she flings her hands up in the air, only to let them come down in full force.

Because he told me! He doesn't care.' She rolls her eyes, still annoyed by how he treated her. She should be grateful he keeps her secret, but his attitude is giving her a headache.

That's unusual. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to know I won't lose you too, but that's not how reality works.' Sesh's brain works at full speed now, trying to find meaning in his behaviour.

Why would a total stranger, and a son of a government official, keep Tammy's secret? She ignores her friend for a tick like she always does when she's deep in her thoughts and takes her place on the bed. She comes up with nothing substantial, but then, hiding her devious smile, she asks on a high pitched tone.

What if he will use it against you? You know, for...'

The hints are more than clear for Tammy to know exactly what she is thinking about. She grabs a pen from the desk and throws it fiercely at the ball of hair. Sesh dodges the bullet' right on time, letting it hit the headboard behind her. Although she doesn't like the direction this conversation is heading, she is thankful to have Sesh, and her dirty mind, as her friend.

It's so like you to turn a life-and-death situation into an obscene story!' Tammy exclaims visibly amused, jumping on the bed with her legs crossed underneath her.

Come on, Ner, you've seen the guy. Would it be that bad?' Sesh bursts out laughing. The thought of Tammy being blackmailed by a hot guy makes her laugh with tears. I can't believe you said that!' she attacks her again, this time with a pillow. All the tension from before vanishes into thin air. The lights go out, signalling the curfew is already in place, leaving Tammy with no option but to sleepover. I'm glad you told me' Sesh's whispered words float in the night. Me, too. Good night.' She responds before drifting away.