The silence is unnerving, as the seconds go by I try to tell myself that he fell asleep, that he just didn’t hear. He’s choosing to ignore me. That’s it. My ears are ringing, all the blood is rushing through my head. The moment of braveness is gone, just as soon as the words slipped out. I’m blinking trying to see the shapes in the darkness, I know he’s next to me. I can feel him. He’s right there, but neither of us moves. The whole room seems as if it was charged with electricity. Tension maybe is me. Maybe I wasn’t loud enough for him to hear, I’m constantly having one-way conversations but that mostly happens when Buddy is in the room. God, who hasn’t said something? Minutes, maybe hours have gone by and he hasn’t moved or made a sound. When I rise he doesn’t react and when I pad slowly to the door and twist slowly on the knob he doesn't rouse. He’s dead to the world or a very good actor. The light on the other side is soft on my eyes but bright enough to catch the resentful
Once I started talking I couldn’t stop.She dabbed her eyes with a crumpled paper napkin as I told her about Melanie’s last days, how Buddy was gifted to me, and how I couldn’t leave her after seeing how much she needed a friend.“Poor family.”“I wanted to come back, I really did but…”“I understand.” Our cups are half full most likely lukewarm, with the dog at my feet we conversed. I told her about my friends back in the little town. How Connie had taken me in and about my job and the kids. How much I loved my independence and how much I dreaded their hate. “But I could never hate you.”“Lacey,” I started licking my lips, tasting the salt of my tears. “She came and she definitely hates me.”“You had your reasons.”“He doesn’t want me.” There it is, telling one person doesn’t give me peace but lifts a little weight off my shoulders. “He just wanted the land.”“No, Rebecca, you can’t say that.”“He never touched me or treated me like his wife. We pretended for his sake and then the m
Sunshine lights up the room. I frown as I try to recall last night's events. The blurry memories start building up slowly as I continue to stare into the hazel eyes that seem to watch mine. Andreas was sick, the power was out and now he looks at me with angry eyes, his eyes always look like he’s angry. At the world, at me. Mostly me.“Your dog is whining.” Oh shit. I didn’t set the alarm.Pushing myself onto a seating position I look around the room, the sheets sticking to the side of my face. My brain is hazy and my limbs are heavy. Last night was an adventure, walking in the darkness was nerve-racking. Shaking my head as I crawl off the bed, trying to get rid of the sleepy cobwebs around my brain.Putting on a thick sweater and rain boots I take Buddy’s leach and close the door behind me. She knows better than to pull while we walk down the path, I have little energy and she can read me too well. “I’m going to sit here and you enjoy yourself.” She looks at me with her big brown ey
The big three in the backyard provided enough shadow for a picnic. The sun is out, is hot enough to sit on the plastic chairs laid out and enjoy the little warmth the day offers after days and days of rain.Buddy trots from here and there, while I skim the pages of a romance book. Looking over my shoulder every time I’m outside has become a habit, right now I know I’m safe but knowing he’s around on the property gives me a sense of anxiety. “Rebecca.” Buddy barks and runs toward the old woman. “I have been calling your name for a while now.”“I’m sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.”“I can see that.” She holds a big brown bag. Is Thursday, and she usually comes Wednesday but with guests staying at the old house she’s been busy.“What are we making today?”“Something simple, spaghetti, and vanilla muffins.” For two months she and I have our small meetings, girl's days. Sometimes Andreas drops us off. Ever since that comment, and John Clark being at the ranch he hardly ever leaves me
Rebecca held tightly onto Andreas's arm as they made their way through the crowded room, her heart racing with anticipation. It had been years since she had set foot in this place, and she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Her dress was long enough to cover her scars, but she still felt self-conscious as she walked past the groups of people, each one chatting excitedly about old times. As they made their way towards the bar, Rebecca's eyes darted nervously around the room, looking for any signs of trouble. But to her surprise, no one seemed to be paying them any attention. Andreas squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Relax, Rebecca," he whispered in her ear. "No one here can hurt you anymore. You're stronger than all of them combined.” His voice to her out of the incoming flashes of memories of her being taunted, pushed and even screamed at in this same gymnasium. Rebecca felt a wave of gratitude wash over her as she looked up at him, his dark eyes full of warmth and love. She
Andreas couldn't help but feel drawn to Rebecca as he watched her sleep. Her long, dark hair fanned out around her pillow, her pink lips slightly parted as she breathed softly. He longed to touch her, to feel the softness of her skin against his fingertips. As he leaned in closer to her, he could feel the heat rising in his body, the desire building inside him. He knew that he shouldn't be feeling this way, that it was dangerous to let his guard down around her. But he couldn't resist the temptation any longer. Slowly, he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, savoring the sweetness of her mouth. He deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring the depths of her mouth as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. Rebecca stirred in her sleep, and for a moment Andreas thought that she was going to wake up. But she settled back down, her body relaxing against his as she continued to sleep. Andreas pulled away, his heart pounding in his chest as he looked down at her.
Rebecca was proud to be by Andreas' side, supporting him and being there for him. She was wearing a simple but elegant black dress, her hair in loose curls framing her face. Andreas had complimented her earlier, telling her how stunning she looked and she couldn't help but feel a little giddy at his words. As they mingled with the guests, Rebecca found herself getting more and more comfortable. She chatted with the other wives, exchanging stories about their lives in the town and sharing recipes. Andreas was always nearby, making sure to introduce her to everyone and keeping a protective arm around her. John Clark made another appearance, his eyes immediately locked onto her. Rebecca felt her stomach turn, but she tried to hide it behind a smile. She knew she couldn't avoid him forever, but she didn't want to be alone with him. Andreas seemed to sense her discomfort, and he made sure to keep John at bay, striking up a conversation with him about business. Rebecca was grateful for h
I no longer fear the night, not while he sleeps right next to me. The bad dreams do return but not as frequent as before. He sleeps soundly on his back, an arm lays on his stomach while the other almost brushes my face. At least is close enough, if moved a few inches forward his fingertips would brush my lips. He twitches and moves with the sounds of thunder in the distance. The one that woke me was pretty close. Long minutes after I lay awake, watching the flashes of light as the thunderstorm. Raising to her elbows she reached forward to push a his hair back from his forehead, making him stir but not wake up. As another thunder sounded she almost jumped to snuggle closer to him but as always she was stopping herself from touching him. He was the one who’d initiate and the light touches were sorely for show and innocent, nothing like the images burned in her brain. The kisses. The lessons. Still too vivid. The fee times she dare to touch that part of her that ached resembled noth