Why can't he understand that I am not interested?
Today was my own personal Hell on Earth. No matter where I turned, I saw that horrible flyer mocking me. That, and those five flipping words were haunting me, rolling around in my head.
"You won't be for long."
What the heck was that supposed to mean? I don't like him, I don't want him, and I never will. But, his words were like a threat... or a promise. That infuriating man. Apparently, he doesn't know what "not interested" means.
Then again, with the way I hadn't been able to get him out of my head, I didn't either. It wasn't that I wanted to be attracted to him. I just was.
I walked upstairs and crawled into bed. Flipping on the television, I went channel surfing. My phone vibrated on my nightstand, and I grabbed it, hoping it would be Chris.
"Hello?" No answer.
"Hello?" Why is this person not talking? Wait, what if this is the person who put out those fliers?
"Hello, Julie." The voice was deep and familiar. I felt my stomach tighten with dread.
I didn't speak.
"I'm sure by now you figured out that I am the person who, let's say, informed the school about you." Tell me what else was new, you dick.
My voice caught. There was a hard lump in my throat. Whatever their goal was, they sounded pleased that they had succeeded. They did what no one else was able to do. They hurt and broke me. They were the first person to make me cry in years.
"Why?" I choked out. My eyes filled up. How did this person manage to destroy everything that made me happy? When I got home today, my sister even called me a dirty slut.
"Because I could. Are you going to walk down the halls with your head held high now?" If I say yes, he wins. If I say no, he will destroy me more. The only person who seemed to have a problem with me doing that was . . . Jessie!!
"Jessie?" I meant to say it as an accusation, but it came out in a stutter, sounding like a question.
"Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!" I felt like I was being strangled. He did that just to see if I have actually ever put out, or was it just to make my life living hell?
"What did I ever do to you?" I needed to put an end to this. The tears that I had held at bay started to fall again. There was no way that he missed the sound of me sniffling or the cracking in my voice.
"Don't get so emotional. It was just a dare." The line went dead, and my phone fell onto my bed. My mouth hung open, and I stared into space. I felt like I couldn't breathe and needed air desperately.
I walked into the hallway and headed down the stairs once I had collected myself enough to stop crying. I walked into the living room on the way to the kitchen, and I saw my mom sitting on the couch with a bottle of Vodka. Oh, great.
She stood up quickly.
"Julie. You are a disgrace to this family!" Her words were slurring so much I could barely make out what she was saying. "You are a Sanders, and you need to start acting like one! Not like a dirty slut. Why can't you be like your sister? Instead, Lana brings me home this!"
In her sloppy movements, she hunches over, grabbing the familiar piece of paper from the coffee table. I didn't need to look at it to know that my picture was plastered across the top of it.
"Mom, they are just bullying me! It isn't even true!"
She stomped quickly towards me, and my head flung to the side. I felt a sting, but I was smarter than that. If I kept my eyes down, it would end sooner. My eyes filled up with tears, and I couldn't see very well.
"I hope you were switched at birth! You will never be my daughter, just a whore who lives under this roof!" The dramatics made me want to laugh, but the reality of the situation was heavier than I expected. It was lodged in my throat, preventing any noise from escaping. When I saw she had the flyer, I had hoped that she would take my side. She had the evidence from my bullies right there, but no.
She was just unreasonable and bitter. She only got like this when her boy toys broke up with her or disappeared the next morning. Which meant Jack got smart and finally left her.
I stood still waiting for the next blow. When nothing came, I turned my head slowly until I was facing her again. This time she hit me harder and screamed, "How could you?!"
My face was stinging, and I knew it would leave a mark. I heard her walk back over to the couch, the old piece of furniture creaking as she sat down.
Seeing this as my escape, I sprinted from the room and up the stairs to lock myself away.
That wasn't the first time she had done that. Whenever she got dumped or woke up to an empty bed, she would take her anger out on whoever she saw first. She had hit me and my sister, but never more than a punch in the gut or a slap in the face.
I blame the alcohol. When she turned to drinking after my dad died, it was like she got a second personality. It only seemed to come out when she was intoxicated. The rest of the time, it sat inside her, festering in a fire of hate and anger until it was set free to release its rage on any innocent it came across.
"Bye, Julie!" The ten-year-old screamed with laughter as she ran into her bedroom, slamming it behind her to prevent her older brother from getting to her with his can of silly string. A smile stretched across my face at the sight of my family celebrating Bri's birthday. It had been a relaxing day enjoying the barbeque and pool party with all of her friends and family. Ryan and Terry had been present, and while we were civil for the sake of Bri, we tended to avoid each other at these types of events. Ryan held a grudge against me for being such a troublemaker and reflecting negatively on their family name. Meanwhile, I held a grudge against them for trying to put me back into the foster system to find a new family after I was released from the hospital. I knew it would happen eventually, but that didn't make it hurt any less. They never made it that far. I had been able to petition for my independence and emancipation as I was only a few months from turning 18. Luckily for me, this
I woke up as the door slammed open, and the lights came on, peaking in from the edges of my blindfold. I would have tilted my head back and looked over to see who walked in from under the fabric, but I still couldn't move."Please! Why are you doing this? Why can't you just kill me? Don't do this please! Don't do this to her!" Mark's voice would have been calming if it wasn't full of panic and fear.The sound of someone approaching was followed by the blindfold being ripped off my face. I could see three men pulling Mark into the room from the corner of my eye. I wanted to tell him I would be okay, but couldn't. He had to know that I was stronger than anything they threw at me."She had nothing to do with it! If you're going to kill me, just kill me! She wasn't even there! Please, I'm begging you! Don't touch her!" He was slammed down into a chair that another man dragged in behind them, and was quickly tied down to it.A hand wrapped around my ankle, but
Julie's P.O.V.I took a deep breath to relax as I felt the SUV pull to a stop after at least half an hour of driving. I heard doors opening, and I tensed back up. Someone grabbed my legs while another pair of hands reached for my arms.I squirmed and struggled. They had pulled me halfway out of the car, and I started screaming. A cloth was shoved into my mouth, but I kept hitting and fighting with all I had. I felt a sharp pain in my leg. Not even thirty seconds later, my leg went numb, followed by my other leg, abdomen, and everything else as it worked its way up my body until I couldn't move or speak, but somehow felt everything.I collapsed onto the ground with a thump. My limp legs were lifted up off the ground, and I could feel my back and hands scrapping against the hot concrete as they pulled me to our destination. I heard the door open, and I was dragged once again.My back held a searing pain, and if I could, I would have screame
As I made my way to the door of the classroom, my eyes eerily glanced to the parking lot on my right. This building was the closest to it, so I was worried. I picked up my speed a little bit when I heard footsteps quickly following behind me at a faster pace than my own.The logical side of my brain was telling me that someone was just late for class, but the panicked part of my brain told me to run. The footsteps grew louder as the person got closer, and I turned my walk into a brisk jog, my backpack bouncing as I did so. The door to my classroom was only four doors away, and it was open. I just had to make it a little further before breaking down and having my panic attack.The squealing of tires caught my attention and sent the hairs on the back of my neck standing straight off of my body. My breathing came out in small pants as I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins.A large black SUV came into view and slammed on its breaks not more than 50 ya
I backed up towards the door. Unfortunately for me, we didn't keep the cleanest room, and I tripped over a pile of clothes landing right on my butt. When I looked up, Mark was smiling at me, the humor of me falling taking away from the seriousness of the situation…for him at least."Mark? W-what . . . what the fuck is going on?" I stammered as my throat closed up. He stood with the gun still in his hand and walked toward me. I started to shake. He stopped a few feet in front of me and looked down at me with his other hand outstretched in my direction, palm up.When I didn't take it, he narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Julie, I'm not going to hurt you. I would never, ever hurt you." He said as he crouched down next to me. "Why would you think that I would?" He sounded honestly hurt."You just pulled out a fucking g…" He placed his hand over my mouth."Julie, no one can know. Please, just let me explain. Plus, this gun isn't mine. This gun is
His Adam's apple bobbed harshly, and I met his stare as he scanned my face over as if judging how serious I was. Then, he nodded his head to the side and turned to resume walking. I moved with him, knowing that he needed a minute to collect himself. We made our way back to our dorm slowly, but he stopped me before we reached the front doors."I know what you mean. It was so hard…everything we went through, but we did it together. I don't think I'm ready to let you go yet, but I know I have to. I can't keep holding onto you and what we used to have, because that's gone now." He nudged the tip of his shoes against mine, and I looked down just as he pulled his foot back. "You do seem happy with him. I don't want to be in the way of that.""I really am." My voice was soft, as I didn't want anyone to overhear us.Jessie cleared his throat, and I fiddled with the hem of my shirt between my thumb and forefinger. He gave me a sad smile and let out a chuckle while