139MILO'S POVIt has been two months since the On The Road Again: Backstage Access World Premiere in UK and in America. We were all glad that the people accepted the movie with such overwhelming positive feedback. It was amazing how we were getting really wonderful critics.Lindy has been busy adjusting herself to college and how things are also going well for her. Our communication is stronger now than before despite the hectic schedule that we both have and the distance. I was pretty much doing a lot of promotions too especially for our upcoming tour in January 2016 which is called THE A.M TOUR shorter term for The After Math Tour.I have been making trips back and forth from London to New Haven Connecticut to visit Lindy as much as I can because I want to spend more time with her. Gwyneth visits with me too since she wanted to get to know Lindy more and she has been very supportive of my relationship with her. I have been planning to introduce Lindy to our mum and I will do that o
140"Oh my goodness. Hi Milo !" Lauren waved."I can't believe it! Hi Milo ! I'm a huge fan!" Fiona exclaimed."Oh my goodness! You're so handsome Milo !!" Lauren added while fanning herself.Lindy giggles, "They're huge fans of you and the lads."I smiled and exchanged handshake, "Thank you so much. It's nice to meet you. Will it be alright if I get to take my girlfriend with me?""Oh sure! Have fun Lindy!" Lauren and Fiona waves goodbye as they began to leave us.I scoop her closer to me and she smiles, "Now that I've got you all to myself, where do you wanna eat my beautiful?""Anywhere with you is fine." She answered me while flashing her beautiful smile.I reached for her hand and started walking towards my car. There were a few students who waved at me and I was being kind as I waved back. Lindy and I were holding hands until we reached the car and as soon as we settled in, I started the engine and began to drive away."What do you think about Paris?" I asked.She paused. "I thi
PREFACEHe is going to hurt me. He is going to hurt me.Those are the words that keeps repeating on the back of her head, like a chant.He is going to hurt me.He is going to hurt me.He might actually kill me.He can kill me and he will kill me.She knows that for a fact as those words kept ringing in her head because she knows that he is capable and she knows that he will. There is intense fear running all over her body that she cannot explain as she is getting more and more frustrated about what she is going to do. The feeling that she has never felt before is growing deep inside her and she does not even want to head out of the room that she is hiding.Fear.There is so much fear inside her. The kind of fear that is screaming and bursting out through her lungs, chest, stomach and her entire body.There is too much fear that she cannot even put into words. And she knows why he is acting like this but she needed help, ASAP.“He is going to hurt me.” A soft voice escapes her lips
1MILO“Five weeks.” She’s pregnant for a month and seven days.Lindy is pregnant.I exhaled deeply as I try to settle myself and my thoughts. The first thing I thought of when those words came out from her lips is that she was conceiving our baby is worrying about her future and not mine.Lindy’s future is far much brighter than mine and I don’t want to ruin it by getting her pregnant. My mind is speedily filled with worry and thoughts about her because I know she has so many dreams that she wants to achieve and that she will most definitely achieve. She wanted to be a lawyer and wish to defend those oppressed people who are less fortunate to fight for themselves. She wants to accomplish those dreams and I should be pushing her forward and not pulling her down or slowing her in reaching for all of her desires in life. She has so many dreams and I am ruining them. Crap, I ruined it.As selfless as it may sound, I honestly didn’t worry a single bit about myself and my career. I did
2MILO“You are?” She asks me, her eyes widened in shock.“What kind of question is that?” I chuckle humorlessly. “Of course! I am not that selfish to be mad about something that’s a gift.” I assured her as I kiss her fingertips while holding her hands tighter on mine but careful enough not to squeeze them. Her lips forms into the weakest smile that she could do and how it warms my heart to see it.“Let’s talk about this when we land Paris, okay?” I cooed as I wipe her tears.She nods and the entire flight, we were both silent.I wasn’t silent because I didn’t like what she told me but to be honest I don’t know if I am happy too. In so many ways, I don’t know if I am utterly happy because there are so many reasons not to. Deep inside me, I am troubled and still haunted of what happened in the past. In the back of my head and in my heart, I am sad that she is conceiving our baby because I couldn’t help myself not to think about the things that will change between us. Even though it
3MILOShe smiles at me, “I’m sorry.” She answers. “Is it making you feel weird?”I shake my head sideways, “Not really. Maybe a little bit.”Lindy half-smiles, “I’m just thinking about so many things that’s all.”“Why?” I questioned. “I mean, for starters confessing to you was too difficult.”“W-Why would that be difficult?” I ask her. “I am your boyfriend, Lindy.” I smile at her.“I know. I am sorry if that made you feel bad.”“Oh babe, it didn’t.” I smile at her. She smiles, “I felt relieved that I was finally able to tell you about it. I have kept that for days now and I just didn’t know how to tell you because I felt really burdened about it and your career and the entire band.”“Baby don’t feel burdened about it anymore.” I reassured her as I take her hand. “I am with you in this. I am even glad that you were able to tell me too.” I smiled at her. “I really thought you were going to tell me to have an abortion.”I was taken aback as my eyes are glued on her, “Abortion?”She n
4LINDYSleep.I needed to sleep. I needed to sleep. I needed to sleep. How?How can I sleep?How do I sleep?I guess I was too happy with how the events turned out after I told him about our child that I wasn’t able to fall asleep right away. My mind and body are just in a complete bliss recalling the things that Milo had told me. I know Milo is mature enough and he is responsible to show his love and support for our baby. All those worried thoughts were completely washed away as soon as he gave me reassurance that I desperately needed the past days. I loved how he promised me he would be here for us, I just wish he would keep his promise.I moved to and fro continuously on this super soft bed while Milo is already sleeping peacefully right next to me. I envied how he was sleeping soundly and I don’t know why my mind is so filled with so many thoughts that are revolving around him when he is actually just sleeping right here on my side. Even though it was so soft, I still wasn't
5LINDYTo be honest, I didn’t know that being pregnant would be this troublesome. I have this sudden urge for a particular dish at such a weird time of the day. Moreover, I have this sudden feeling of wanting to cry so bad because I really need to eat lasagna but I don’t even like lasagna in the first place. I’m feeling like the need to cry but the reason is so petty that it makes me want to cry for more thinking about it. Brokenhearted, I went back to bed and sat next to Milo. I stared at him for a while and I don’t want to wake him up to disturb him but I am really super hungry and craving.I sighed as I scratched my hair."Milo." I pulled him back and forth gently.He groaned deep in his throat."Baby wake up c'mon." I moved him even harder.I sighed heavily. Damn, why is this guy so hard to wake up?"Milo!!" I screamed.He opened his eyes wide open in an instant and pulled himself up looking puzzled and nervous. He holds me, looking shocked and cute at the same time with his hoo
E P I L O G U E "Em, just stop screaming, please." Lindy begs. "Think of it as a vacation."VACATION?! Then why can not I use the private jet?! Why do I have to ride a plane in eco... e... Ugh! I do not even want to say the word!""Stop being so overdramatic, Em. We all started somewhere." Milo mocks."I started rich and popular, I am keeping that title." She stood her ground.Milo tilts his head, "Not unless I take that away from you."She gapes.Ezekiel pulled up his pad as soon as he finished writing the words, “Cheer up Em. It is not so bad.” with a smiley face next to the sentence.It annoyed her even more. She loves her twin brother, but she hates the situation that she was in.“Not so bad for you!!” She screams at her brother before she groans. “You can not do this to me!!” Emerald screams like the drama queen she is.Days passed, Emerald found herself arriving in Aidenwoods, New Zealand with two big pieces of luggage and only a hundred pounds in her wallet and the other hund
70‘The famous Beckett duo called EZME called it quits after five years of singing together to their millions of fans due to personal issues, scandals, and health conditions that needed to be taken more seriously. Ezekiel Beckett has been suffering from Muscle Tension Dysphonia which causes the sound and feel of his voice to change due to extreme muscle tension in and around his voice box. As a result, it causes his voice to regularly stop performing more efficiently which broke a lot of his female fans' hearts. The 21-year-old heartthrob and crooner recently lost his voice due to stress, tension, overuse, and overwork and is now going through therapy doing various exercises.On the other hand, Emerald Beckett, who is no longer new to scandals and issues, has gotten some pretty bad press every now and then. The 21-year-old pop star and the other half of the duo called EZME have been known for her horrific diva behavior since her rise in popularity. It has always been rumored that she
69L I N D Y After the honeymoon, I bravely decided to go back to college and finish where I left off. Milo has been very supportive of my decisions and he has been my confidante in almost anything that I do and I want to do. He would confront me about what would be the best and would advise me when things get harder or more confusing. He is just there constantly supporting me which means so much to me after everything.When he asked me if I would move in with him to London, I did not hesitate to agree with him because all my life anywhere with him, whether it is in London, Peru, Spain, South Africa, the Philippines, or anywhere around the world, I would want to be with him. Always. Mom and dad felt sad when they found out that I was moving to another continent which made them feel a little bit emotional before we parted ways. Although they understand that things are going to be different now that I am getting older and wiser and have plans set on ahead of me with Milo. Yet, my paren
68L I N D Y “Welcome home Lindy!!!” I was taken aback as soon as the party poppers popped that came out of nowhere and I see everyone in this house greeting me with smiles on their faces. I see Lucius, Jasper, Silas, and Rowan who came all the way to celebrate this day with me which really means so much to me after what I have been through. It was the kind of support system that I needed after what happened to me and how these people are showing me an unconditional kind of love. These guys, whom I have always considered as my older brothers from other mothers, are all here and this means the world to me. I see Martha who ran towards me in a split second and hugged me tightly with tears flooding in her eyes which made me cry too because this scene is very much making me so emotional. She hugs me tight as she says the words, "I am so glad to see you again. I have missed you. I have missed you so much. I missed you a lot."She makes me bawl my eyes out as I hug onto her tighter, "I m
67L I N D YSaint Francis Sanitarium had a different way of treatment which had been pretty much helpful for my recovery. They also had strict rules about visitors, no one was really allowed to see the patients who are under treatments like me to avoid problems, complications, and miscalculations. There were no cellphones allowed inside and Wi-Fi as well to avoid any social media. Although they allowed gifts from the outside, it was still hard not to be able to see everyone. I didn’t let my negative emotions get the worst of me because I had to be strong for myself and my kids and for everyone else who is waiting for me to head out of this mental facility. I faced this battle head on and even though it was hard for me to accept the changes that I have had, emotionally and mentally, I am still very thankful for the support that I am getting from my family, friends, and of course Milo.Milo has been sending me hand written letters every day which is something I always look forward to
66M I L OWhat did she mean by that?Did she mean it literally?Silence, there was silence between us and I was just utterly and indescribably confused. She didn’t answer while her eyes were looking all over the entire house. Her eyes looked like she was searching for something inside the house and at the same time, she looked like she was in distraught. She looked so lost, sad, and completely puzzled by her own thoughts inside her head.“Are you alright baby?” I holler.She nods and looks back at me, “Yes. Just…. Just a little… awake.”I tried to ignore what I heard from her about hearing them in her head and just walked towards her, “I thought you fell asleep?”She shakes her head, “I can’t.”“Did you even try?”She nods. “Yes. These days it’s just hard for me to sleep.”“Should we visit the doctor?”“No.” Her voice was firm. “No need for that.”I take her hand to mine, “Hey, let’s go back to sleep. Shall we?”She nods and smiles before we walked up to the bedroom.I still hear the
65M I L OThey were so tiny.Very tiny.So fragile. So delicately adorable. I stare at them from outside the glass window and my heart swells with these crazy emotions that are building up inside me the more I stare at how tiny and angelic they looked. Staring at them, I did not know that I could love more my sweet Lindy for carrying my little soldiers who are now battling with their own lives. I had no idea that these tiny creatures would actually make me feel much more whole in some way. I glance at the tubes and machines that were surrounding them to help them survive and grow and I know they are fighters and that they will grow stronger. I know. I know they will. I watch as their chests go up and down while they were breathing as they were moving their tiny hands around and subtly kicked their small feet. It was amazing how they looked and how their tiny movements could actually surprise me and amaze me at the same time. Absentmindedly, I am staring at them with a smile on m
64M I L OI laugh humorlessly as I shake my head sideways, not wanting to believe what I have just heard. No, this cannot be possible. There is absolutely no way. No. I had no idea that Ricky was this selfish and this heartless with everything that had happened. He is and has always been only thinking about himself and no other else. He only and always wants to save himself from everything when the going gets rough then runs away and hides like a frightful little child and pass the blame onto others so he can clear his name.This man is despicable, absolutely and horrifyingly greedy.“I am so sorry.” Ricky apologizes but the more he says it the more it makes me angry.“Ricky! How could you so selfish?!” Gwyneth screams at him..“Of course!” I exclaimed. “Of course you would say it’s me! You freaking asshole!” I pressed my clenched fist against the center of my forehead. I groan in frustration and in anger because I want to hit this person so badly. I want to hurt him as hard as I ca
63M I L OEver since my argument with Gwyneth, we never really talked as much as we used to. I understand why she was feeling that way and I understand why she had avoided me since she hated what I have done. Of all people, I thought she would be the one who would understand me because she is my sibling, but then I was wrong.She made me feel even worst. I tried to understand where her anger was coming from and obviously, she was gutted that I said and did those things to Jolene. I know she could not believe me that I treated Jolene that way because she has always hated it when I do things that hurt women since I was brought up by women too.I wish my words could change anything to what she sees me now but then I know I can never take back the things I did and the things I said to her.Sometimes I wish she could have understood me and why I had to do it. The night before the band’s world tour started, someone came to my house late at night and rang the doorbell many times which woke