Simon slept peacefully for almost an hour before he was awakened by a nightmare. He shot up in bed, sobbing and sweating and clinging to me. I wrapped my arms around him, rubbing his back.
"Shh… I've got you Simon."
After a few minutes, he pulled away from me, obviously embarrassed.
"Hey, it's all right to be freaked out." I kissed his forehead. "Bless your heart." I handed him the water and the pill. "This will help."
He took it gratefully, popping the pill in his mouth and downing the water in just a couple of gulps.
I stayed with Simon for about five hours. I was asleep for most of that time, though. Simon was still deep in his drug-induced sleep when I woke up. I got out of bed and kissed him lightly. I went downstairs and headed toward the door. As I passed the couch, I noticed Jackson and Brenda making out
I went upstairs to my room without acknowledging my parents' greetings from the living room. I collapsed on my bed and sighed heavily. I thought about Wyette. He made a great first impression. I'd trusted him instantly and felt comfortable telling him all the terrible thoughts I had about cheating on Simon. I couldn't tell him about the HIV though; he'd probably think I was a slut and not want to hang around me anymore. I still loved Ellie dearly, but something told me that Wyette was more trustworthy. It wasn't her fault really… girls just had bigger mouths than boys.At about 10:00 I got a text message from Jackson.Picking you up at 7:40. I promised Simon. This isn't for you.I wasn't sure I wanted to ride with Jackson. I sure as hell didn't ride the bus though. I was the last person on, and I had no friends on the bus; I would have nowhere to sit. I suppressed a gr
"Let him go Jackson," I said, laying a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off."Jackson Sutterfield!" I heard the principal, Mr. Ferrer shout. In an instant he had Jackson shoved against the building the way that Ericson had been moments earlier. "What are you thinking!? You know that one more fight after this can get you expelled!"Jackson seemed a little stunned. He looked down at his bloody hands and shook his head like a dog shaking water of its coat.I approached Jackson and Mr. Ferrer."Stay back Sophie, I got to get him calmed down," Ferrer said."No, it's okay. Can you give me a minute with him?"Mr. Ferrer adored me, so he consented, slowly backing away from Jackson."Hey, what was that?" I asked gently, putting a hand on his shoulder.
A few minutes later Simon returned to the living room with his tennis shoes on."Let's roll, babe."I got up, slipping on my flip flops on the way out.I felt like throwing up the entire way to the clinic. Simon kept one hand firmly on my thigh, obviously sensing my nervousness and trying to contain his own. He was the man, after all. He had to be macho. We parked and just sat there for a moment. He met my eyes."No matter what happens, Sophie… No matter what the results are… I'm going to love you just as much as I always have."It didn't even annoy me that he used the "L" word. What had just come out of his mouth was so sweet that all I could think about was how lucky I was to still have him. I kissed him tenderly and tried to smile."We're going to be okay… aren't we?
I nodded. "All right, I'll go. But I have nothing to wear!""It's a funeral, not a fashion show. It's mostly going to be druggies and losers there anyway. It's not like she traveled in a real stylish crowd. You'll be the prettiest girl there no matter what you've got on."I kissed him lightly. "You even know how to make a funeral sound romantic.""I try.""So, Jackson's party, how big are we talking about?" I asked, wanting to get off the subject of dead people.He grimaced. "Could get pretty wild. Jackson has been really restless, so I think he's going go get extremely wasted, a coma is entirely possible. Everyone is invited to this thing. Only problem is, Brenda can't make it. She has a family thing she does the weekend before Halloween, and she can't skip out. Jackson doesn't like to throw a party without scoring."
Tears filled my eyes and I got off the bed.Jackson could tell he'd upset me, so he spoke up. "You remember when I told you that I pressured Brenda into having unprotected sex?" He asked softly.I nodded."Well… pressured isn't the right word… it was more like… forced."I drew in a deep breath. "You raped her?""I don't know if you could really call it rape… it wasn't fully consensual… but… she didn't really fight me…" he sighed. "You want the whole story?""Not if you don't want to tell me," I lied. I wanted to know whether he wanted to share or not."Well, I was drunk, of course… and Brenda and I were fooling around. Things got pretty heated, and she was wearing a little jean skirt, those things are just
I took off my jeans and started to slip into one of the skirts."Jesus Sophie!" Simon growled."What?" I asked innocently. "He's gay.""That doesn't mean that he doesn't have eyes. You can see everything through those underwear, and while I'm enjoying the view… I don't want anyone else to enjoy it.""Relax, Simon. I'm not looking at her lady parts."I smiled at the look of horror that crossed Simon's features at another guy's mention of his girlfriend's "lady parts"."That one looks good," Wyette commented. "You have killer legs."I beamed at him. "Thanks! What do you think Simon?""I think that Wyette lied about being gay to get you out of your pants!""You're being silly," I told him, crossing th
There weren't many people at the funeral home. We walked into the quiet room and I took in my surroundings. It seemed so peaceful for someone who had lived such a turbulent life. The front row was taken up, and a few people were scattered in the rows behind. Simon and I sat in the middle of the second row. The only people to speak at the funeral were her friends and her mother; no other family members were present. In the middle of a long, awkward silence, Simon stood up and approached the front of the room. As I watched him take the microphone from the stand, I saw the color drain from his face. He cleared his throat, shifting nervously."I'm Simon," he said. "Caroline's ex-boyfriend… I think it's great you guys showed up."Oh God, he had no idea what he was doing."Some of you might know that I was the one that found Caroline after she shot herself. I read her note,
"Was he at your house last night? Is that who you were drinking with?""We had one beer. He stayed with me for a little while, I felt lonely. Please don't launch into one of your jealous tirades, baby. Things are going so well."He was silent."Are you pissed?""I'm working on it," he said through his teeth. "I don't want you hanging around him, Sophie. He got Brenda, and that should be enough. He doesn't deserve you, too.""Hanging out and screwing are two different things. Please Simon, just give it a rest… pretty please?"He sighed. "Yeah, all right."I knew that he hadn't let it go. He would be outwardly cool, but suspicion would simmer just below the surface. I was just going to ignore it, though. He could sit there and worry about me having sex with
Summer turned out to be the best time in our relationship. We spent every day together and didn't take any of our time for granted. One day as we were driving home from having coffee with Wyette and Brent, I glanced over at Jackson."I feel bad," I murmured."What for?""You never hang out with your friends anymore. Now you just hang with mine."He shook his head. "Your friends are my friends. The only real friends I've ever had, except for Brenda. Thank you for introducing us." He kissed my cheek. "And I'll get you guys into college parties.""Are you going to start drinking a bunch again?""No. I won't. Not after how hard you've worked to help me. We're going to Mom's tonight for dinner.""What are we eating?""Who knows? Something
I laid in bed and cried until about 5:45, then I fixed my make up. It didn't matter much to me what I looked like, but I was representing Jackson so I felt like I needed to be pretty. Sharon arrived at 6:00 to pick me up. She knocked on the door and I peered out at her. Her eyes were glistening with tears."I can't believe this," she whispered. "I know that he's still going to be here for a few months, and that he'll less than an hour away… but…" she shook her head."It's okay," I murmured. "I've been crying since he left.""He'll come back and visit. We have to be happy for him. You ready to go?"I nodded. "Yep…"When I got to the car, I saw Simon sitting in the backseat."I thought we should all go as a family," Sharon said to me. "Hope you don't feel too awkward. You
He lifted me gently and carried me to the bed. He tucked me in and then climbed in next to me."Get some rest, Sophie. I love you." He kissed me goodnight, and I fell asleep feeling better than I had in…forever.The next day at school, I cautiously approached Simon. He was standing with his arm around Terry. He was being the attentive, sweet boy that he had been to me when we'd first gotten together."Can we talk?" I asked softly."Where's Jackson?""With Ellie and Ronald. He doesn't need to be here for this. This is about us.""There is no us anymore, Sophie.""Look, can I please just have a minute? I'm not asking for much, Simon, just a minute. Please?""Just go, Simon," Terry said, shoving him lightly. "Go."
His eyes grew soft and another part of him grew hard. I loved his reaction to me… it made me feel powerful."Hellooo cupcake," he purred. "This isn't a you-let-me-get-all-worked-up-and-then-pull-away thing is it?"I shook my head. "Oh no. This is an I-tease-you-for-a-minute-and-then-you-rip-my-clothes-off thing.""Oh God… this is the best Valentine's Day gift I've ever gotten." He looked me up and down, his eyes lingering in all the right places. "You have no idea how hard it's been for me to wait.""I'm sorry," I said softly. "I just…""Don't apologize. That doesn't matter anymore… all that matters is tonight."We shared a moment of comfortable silence."I'm not sure if this is weird," Jackson began sheepishly, "But those wings are r
When the doorbell rang I disappeared into the bedroom. Things were quiet for about ten minutes, then Jackson started to shout… shortly after that, Scott started to… beg. After a while it sounded like things were getting out of hand so I went out to check on them."Jackson, baby… I think you're done," I told him. Blood was pouring from Scott's nose and his eyes were both a dark, angry shade of red."You bitch," Scott managed to utter. "You weren't supposed to tell anyone.""Excuse me?" Jackson snarled. "Did you just call my girlfriend a bitch?" He hit him again and I approached him cautiously."Let him go… it's not fair to mess him up too bad, he's already ugly."Jackson's body was rigid and his hands were bloodstained. There was something feral in his eyes, he smelled like sweat and cologne.
When the alarm clock trilled at 6:00 Jackson let out an exaggerated groan and smacked the clock. I rolled out of bed and Jackson, of course didn't move. "Too early," he muttered."For you. I have to get up so that I can look pretty."He cracked one eye open. "You look nice now," he mumbled."You have to say that.""No I don't. I could have just pretended that I'd gone back to sleep. I think I've made it abundantly clear that I find you attractive whether or not you're all dolled up.""Well, you go ahead and go back to sleep," I told him. "I'll wake you up around 6:30.""Do I have to go to school? I mean, seriously, I'm almost done.""Oh, quit bitching."I went to the bathroom and hopped in the shower. By 6:25, my hair was blown
We sat around for a while longer, then Jackson and I headed home. We still had a ton to unpack. I changed out of my jeans into a pair of his sweatpants. Sure, I had my own sweats, but something about wearing my boyfriend's clothes was so comforting."What would you think if I started dressing like a boy all the time?" I asked Jackson, coming out of the bedroom."Huh?"I grinned. "Your clothes are comfy... they're nice."
We went to my house and tried the door. It was locked. Guess the dumbasses forgot that I had a key."We have to hurry," I said, "I don't want to talk to them.""All right," he replied. We rushed up the stairs and into my room. Everything was pushed to the center of the floor. The walls had been painted a cream color and my bed was gone."I guess they were serious," Jackson said, looking around the room.There were a bunch of boxes full of my stuff on the floor. "At least they made it easy on me.""Do you want all of this?" He asked.I shook my head. "Mostly just the clothes. Let me look around."As I was rummaging through boxes and setting aside the ones I wanted, I realized the stupidity of what I was doing. I'd already established that moving in with him was a
Jackson ate quickly, barely taking time to chew. I ate as slowly as I could, and I knew it was driving him crazy. He finished a good five minutes before me."I'll be in the bedroom," he told me. "You can join me when you finish… if you ever finish."He was lying in bed in his boxers when I came in. God, even as upset as I was, I ached with wanting him."Hey," he said softly."Hi," I replied. I sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm not mad that you drank… I just wish that you hadn't drank so much… because I really needed you, but you were out cold."He drew in a deep breath. "What happened, Sophie?""After everyone left, Scott was still here… and he… he…" Tears filled my eyes."Oh my God… he didn't… Sophie, he di