Chapter 4

Olivia Miller's POV

After a shitty weekend, I was back to work. Anybody could say that I had a very bad mood. I was looking through some files when I got a call from my best friend. I did not know if she was still my best friend. She said she would give me time and told me to call her whenever I feel like talking to her. What happened with giving me space?

I did not receive it in it's first call. But she tried for second time. I decided to act like a very busy person and received it. "Hello, who is this?"

"Livi! It's me, Sarah."

"Oh! I did not notice the name before as I am really busy right now."

"I wanted to talk to you for some minutes."

"Do you have to talk now? I do not have much time now. Ok, tell me what you want to say."

"I was waiting for your call but you did not call me or left me a message. I know you must be really angry and that latter can not help in this that's why I decided to talk about it with you."

"What is there to talk? You just decided to disregard my feelings and what I went through because of him and started to date him secretly. We talked to each other every day and you failed to tell me that you were dating not just having casual sex. I am sure you were having sex with him that time and you had immense pleasure knowing what you were doing behind my back. Both of you surely had a good laugh on my expense."

"It's nothing like that. I always felt guilty about it. We broke up multiple times just because of you but we could not stay away from each other. We were like a magnet. This is what happens when people are made for each other." I rolled my eyes at her explanation. Where was the magnet when he was dating me? It sounded like another excuse. "You know how many boys I have dated but I never felt what I felt with Harry. I used to curse the destiny for doing something like this to me. I felt like I was in a book where I was in love with my best friend's Ex. I was in a miserable condition then Harry told me that you would be Happy for me and my happiness matters not past relationship."

"Of course your happiness matters that's why I can not stay mad about such petty thing. You know better and you are happy. I can not even say something else." I said not wanting to hear her excuses anymore.

"Really? You forgave me? I knew you will understand me!" She squealed excitedly. I had no idea where I said that I forgave her.

"Thank God, it's done. Now I can fully concentrate on the preparation. So, when are you coming? For everyone, they have to come one week earlier for the bonding of both families. But you need to come much before that. You are going to be one of the bridesmaid." I frowned and tried to act subtle with my reaction.

"You just suddenly dropped it on me and I do not think I can ask for leave for such a long time. I can only manage one week. By the way, who is going to be your maid of honor?"

"You know, Julie? Harry's sister. She wanted to be the maid of honor so bad. That's why I decided to make her my maid of honor."

'Which was supposed to be me.' I thought silently. We promised that we will be each other's maid of honor and the God mothers of our kids. "Listen I need to go now. See you at your wedding."

"Okay. I will wait for you and your plus one. Please try to come fast. Bye, love you."

She knew that I was not dating anyone still asked me to bring my plus one or partner. Was she mocking me or she thought I too was secretly dating someone. As people say, what we think about others are depend on our nature. She thought I kept secrets from her when I shared everything with her. Was she really manipulative and I failed to see that before.

Every action of her from the past looked doubtful to me. Her protective behavior towards me when she was the wild girl. She told me to never date but she changed boyfriends like a used pregnancy kit. Yeah, she had that false pregnancy panic in most of her relationships. Whoever I liked before tend to like me as well but suddenly they acted like they never saw me or gave me wrong signals. She used to say that probably they were just playing or doing that for some bet. It really hurt a lot.

Sarah went on a vacation for almost two months and that's when I went into a relationship with Harry. She was not really happy about that and warned me that he would hurt me and I should not sleep with him anymore because he would take me for granted and only use me for sex. Harry started to act different after that. Things became worse after I came to New York. All these things look so bad if I see them from different perspective not my naive self that time.

I shivered in disgust and decided not to think about her at all. She thought she was the tortured protagonist who fell in love with her best friend's Ex from a book. Huh! God, Help me.

After coming back from the office, I got comfortable in my apartment and started the TV to watch some movies. That's when a dating app advertisement started. I saw two dark human shadows were kissing. It triggered something in my memory. He told me about me kissing him and how I said that I wanted sex but he did not tell me anything after the midnight. I remember feeling hot that night and it made me take off my dress. Alex was not by my side so, I stumbled out of the room and followed the sound that I was hearing.

He noticed me when I fall over him. "Why are you up?" He asked me after balancing me in his arms.

"It was so hot." I mumbled.

"Yeah, I can see that." He caressed my hair. "Let's go, you need to sleep."

He stood up with me in his arms and walked back inside the room. He laid me on the bed softly. After covering me with a bed sheet, he lowered the temperature of the air conditioner. He was about to leave the room but I asked him to stay with me. He agreed and laid beside me and then I attacked him, literally. I sat on his stomach and he looked at me with wide eyes. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, multiple kisses on his throat and collarbone, his chest and bit his nipp-

"Oh God! What did I do? Oh No, no! I.. I didn't. I did! I did that. What was wrong with me? Shit!"

I was panicking badly and in that mess my tv remote flew away and crashed on the floor. "How can someone do so many embarrassing things in one night! He must felt violated and here I was thinking that he might took advantage of my situation. But he sounded too cool that morning. He didn't even mention about this, he probably forgot about it but he wasn't drunk and no one can forget about something like this!"

"I seriously need a release. I am acting like a horny woman who hunts for sperm and badly needed a release. Fine, I will have a release. I don't need a man for that. Time for use that vibrator." One of my female colleagues from my office gifted me a vibrator for my birthday. She thought she was pulling a funny act by gifting vibrator to a single, workaholic woman.

I never used that before or knew how to use that. I always look for tutorials whenever I do or try something new. "But do they have tutorials for this kind of things? They have all kind of video tutorials but don't think this is allowed on their app."

I still typed in the search bar 'How to use a vibrator' and pressed 'go'. I literally held my breath when the search was going on. "Holy shit! They have tutorials for this too." There were many tutorials videos mostly from the sellers. I attentively heard all the points and saw the demonstration. They made it look pretty easy. I went to the comment section to see if someone shared their experience or shared few tips. But all I saw was men being a creep there and talking about how they needed to erase their watch history. There was nothing heavily inappropriate but... yeah.

"This is not for men then why they are camping under the videos. I hate when men are in women's business." I shook off the irritation and focused on my main purpose that was masturbating. No idea why that word felt so wrong from the very beginning when I learnt it's meaning.

I started the vibrator and squealed in surprise when it started to vibrate. I quickly turned it off to get myself ready. After sitting comfortably on the bed without wearing anything down there, I parted my legs. I started to have second thoughts but I pushed them away. I needed to do that for my own sake. I did not want to encounter whatever happen that night ever again. As that woman said, I pressed the tip of the vibrator around my clit to get myself ready for the main session. A sensation was felt and my body started to realize what would happen.

After few moments when I felt that I was ready for it, I slowly started to push that long vibrator into me. It totally felt different and I was fully aroused. "Holy- fuck!" I started to do the push and pull hand movement that women showed.

My toes started to carl because of the sensation and I was totally blown away by how good it feels to finally having pleasure after years. My hand had their own mind and started to go fast. My walls were tight around it and the vibrations literally went to my core. I never felt so full down there. I threw my head back and curve my back with a loud moan.

"Shit! I can't believe I was away from this for years. No wonder I was so hungry for this." I could feel the tension in my abdomen. That time my mind went hazy and I saw Alex. It was like he was pushing his little friend into me and groaned near my ear. He was thrusting into me so fast and rough that made me release everything from me after moaning his name out loudly. It shut my mind completely and for a few moments, I laid there like my body turned into jelly.

After few minutes, my mind started to catch up and making me realise what happened. I just had the best orgasm ever and all thanks to Alex?

That's when I horrifically realized that I totally imagined him pounding me like an animal.