TonyIt's been a couple of days since I sent Chloe, Ellie, and Nicky to Vermont along with several of my men. I knew she'd be pissed at me the moment I told her the news, but it didn't go the way I planned. It was way worse.I wasn't expecting her to be so concerned about me, wanting to check on my wound, and then blaming herself for what had happened. I was really mad at her for doing so, but mostly, I was mad at myself for not having the situation controlled. When I got into this to protect her, I expected Mateo to act faster. His silence lately was bothering me immensely, and when I got caught off guard at the deli's, I was fucking furious for being so stupid and unprepared.Chloe got to me at such a vulnerable moment, and I wasn't planning on being harsh or even rude to her. But that's how it ended up being.The look of disappointment and sadness that crossed her face when I told her I was sending her to Vermont will never leave my nightmares. I hated myself for it, but deep down
ChloeA faded commotion downstairs wakes me up, my mind taking a few seconds to adjust and understand where I am. It's been a few days since we moved to Vermont, but I still haven't gotten used to this place, or this bed, for that matter. The safehouse isn’t uncomfortable at all, nor inconvenient, but no matter how hard I try, nothing makes me feel the same way I feel at Tony's house back in Staten Island. Which should also be considered my house now too, if he hadn't sent me here.I ponder going back to sleep, deciding whatever’s going on downstairs is probably irrelevant. My mother must be giving orders to Tony's soldiers for groceries or something like that. Since she can't go out by herself, she’d rather ask them to do the chores for her.But when I hear a familiar, deep voice, I get to my feet immediately. What is Armando doing here? Tony sent several men to watch us, but his second shouldn’t be here, not when they’re likely facing a war back in New York.Tiptoeing out of the ro
TonyI can't force myself to answer Chloe. I've been struggling to keep a stoic facade ever since she arrived here. I knew bringing her back was a mistake from the moment Armando suggested it to me, but he was right when he said I couldn't ask what she knew over the phone. Despite spending hundreds of thousands of dollars every year to keep the inner communication of the Saints untraceable, I still don't trust that someone might not be able to hack into our phones and listen to what Chloe had to say.In the end, she didn't give me much information, but it seemed enough for Cal and my men to start digging. Anything that will help me get closer to Mateo at this point is already a win.A part of me also wanted to see her, to make sure she was alright, to make sure she was taking care of herself while being away from me. But the moment she crossed that door, the moment her sweet scent hit me, I knew I made a mistake. I couldn't look at her, otherwise I wouldn't trust myself enough not to
ChloeMy arms voluntarily look for support around his neck. His hands on my waist tighten their grip, my skin burning up with the contact. Our tongues move together in a hungry dance, exploring each other's mouth as if this is the first time.I missed him so much; I can't even put into words what I'm feeling as he guides me backward toward the living room. This is not how I imagined, or even wanted, to reunite with him, but pulling away from him right now might break the spell he’s under and make him regret coming here in the first place.That’s why I follow his lead, making sure to hold him and never let go.Once we get close to the couch, instead of tossing me on my back and climbing over me, Tony turns us and sits down, pulling me onto his lap. I straddle him, immediately feeling his hard cock against my thigh, which ignites something within me that feels primarial and animalistic.My entire body is sensitive right now–any small contact of our skin entices me from head to toe. My c
Chloe"What do you mean?" he asks with a frown. "You can't do what anymore?""I can't do this push and pull anymore. I…." I choke on my words, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden.So, with pain in my chest, I get up from his lap and start gathering my clothes from the floor and putting them back on. I feel his eyes on me the entire time, but he doesn't say anything. He probably realizes there is no way we can escape this conversation anymore.Tony silently picks his boxers and pants up from the floor and puts them on, and for a whole minute, we're both mute, neither of us daring to continue the conversation.Once we're dressed, I look at him, finding him staring at me from the same spot on the couch."I am tired of not knowing what this is," I finally clarify, gesturing between us. When Tony doesn't answer, I add, "Maybe you shouldn't have come here after all."I don't mean it, but I’m mad at him for always being quiet when I need him to say something, anything at all, to ease my mi
TonyComing here was a fucking mistake.Seeing Chloe did everything to me that I was trying to avoid. It just left me even more confused than before. We haven’t spent more than an hour together, and I still managed to screw it up.Being with her felt natural as if this was the only place I could be. Whenever I’m with her, holding her in my arms and feeling her close to me, everything just seems to go away. Every concern, every fear, every bad thought I ever had… I finally feel at peace.That’s the sort of effect she has on me. But I was not expecting her confession. Hearing her say she loves me and not being able to say it back shattered my heart in ways I can't explain. The look on her face will haunt me forever. It seems to have become a pattern lately. I can't seem to be able to stop hurting and disappointing her. I know what she expects from me, but unfortunately, I can't give it to her.It's clear to me that I have fallen for her, harder than I could ever have expected. It's a f
ChloeI should be dead.I was certain I’d be killed the moment I saw Mateo by the front door.I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look as mad as he looked a couple of minutes ago.Somehow, by the grace of God perhaps, when I saw him approaching me with that gun pointed at my face, I managed to take it from his hand after sparring with him and shot him in the shoulder. I think.I didn’t stay there to confirm. I didn’t wait to see if he was injured or not. I simply ran out of the house, not daring to look back, not even once. It’s been a few minutes, and I’m still blindly running through the neighborhood, trying to think of what to do or where to go. There’s no one on the street that I can ask for help, and even if there were, I’d be so afraid that Mateo would kill them for helping me that I don’t think I would ask for help anyway.It’s cold outside, and I’m still only wearing my shower robe, and even though I don’t dare to look back, too afraid of what I’ll see, I know I’m being follow
Chloe“Listen,” Tony continues, still focused on the road. The police sirens get more and more distant as we drive away from the city, but I still don’t ask him where he is taking me. “I know you don’t want to think about it now, but I need to know what happened,” he requests in a gentle voice. I hear a hint of pain in it as well, but mostly, I can hear the guilt behind his words.I want to tell him none of this is his fault, but we’ll have time for that later. Right now, we just need to make sure no one else gets hurt, or worse, killed.I inhale sharply, steadying myself enough to share the recent events with him. I am strong, and I can do this, I tell myself. I’ve always told Tony I could handle it all, and even though I was scared as hell back there, I still managed to save myself.I can do this.“After you left, I spent a few more minutes in the office before I headed up to take a shower. I don’t think I was in there too long, but as soon as I stepped out, I heard the alarm go off
*Cal*Leaving the basement and making sure at least one of my men stays behind to watch the cartel assholes we have tied inside, I rush upstairs with Tony, Sam, and Hunter with the rest of my men on my tail.Even though the noises upstairs are muffed by closed doors and thick walls, I don’t like what I hear as I approach the bar. Frantic screams and intermittent gunfire can never be a good thing.“Fuck,” I hiss to myself. “They seem to be heavily armed,” I inform my men over my shoulder. “Are you guys loaded?”“I have a couple of guns with me. Armando is outside with my men,” Tony informs me. I don’t want to think about the possible scenarios we’re about to encounter. The rest of my men are also upstairs, but if they were caught off guard–even though I had them keeping a close eye out for any strange movement–things might be ugly.“I’ll grab a shotgun from the safe,” Hunter tells me. “Do you need me to get you anything, Boss?”“No, I have my pistol on me,” I reply through gritted tee
*Heidi*Going after Cal was a mistake. I knew it would be, but I still did it anyway.What was I thinking? What was I even expecting to happen? That if I came and asked him to drop his entire life and career for me and he’d do it?Ha! What a joke.Even if I mean as much to him as he says I do, giving up something you’ve been building your whole life is hard. I should know better than that. I wouldn’t give up on my life and dreams either if he asked me to. So, why am I feeling so heartbroken? Why do I feel so sad, so left out?I storm out of his office with tears blurring my vision. His scent is all over me, and my lips are still tingling from our kisses. No matter how much I want to turn back and run into his arms, I know I can’t do it. This is it. This was the last straw, the confirmation I needed that we’re indeed over.For good.“Miss Heidi, is everything okay?” someone asked from behind me as I walked out of the bar. It was rude on my part to ignore whoever it was, but I couldn’
*Cal*Tony takes a little longer than I’d like with the cartel bastards the Saints captured. By the time his men haul in two guys who are, I’d say, unrecognizable, I’m basically digging a hole in the floor with all my anticipation and agitation, having spent the last hour pacing.The guy I cuffed in the basement looks up from his spot in the corner, and his eyes widen when he sees two more of his people have also been taken by us. He doesn’t have any strength in him to say anything, but he’s been pretty quiet anyway compared to some of the smart-mouthed assholes I’ve beaten the shit out before.“Hey,” Tony greets me, walking behind his guys who are now restraining the newly kidnapped men to chairs, away from the first one. “Brought you a little present.”I grunt. “After the day I just had, you have no idea how glad I am to see them,” I tell him, darting a deathly glance to the newcomers and cracking my knuckles.“I owe you already. I’m glad I could return the favor for once,” Tony say
*Cal*I consider going after Heidi. Following her upstairs, grabbing her by the arm, turning her to me and crashing my lips into hers, hoping she can feel how much I love her and how much I’m willing to fight for us.But that’d be a lie.And also unfair to her.Because if I truly was willing to do anything for her, I’d accept turning my back on the mafia and the Irish Kings without a question. I wouldn’t hesitate. I wouldn’t consider anything other than having her by my side.But I can’t.I can’t give her what she wants. I can’t promise her something I’m not ready to do. Therefore, I’d rather she hates me now, while she still has any feelings for me, then watch her fall out of love with me while we are together. That’d hurt me more than anything.Realization begins to sink in. We’re truly over now. There’s no turning back, no saving this relationship that’s barely even started. I try to convince myself that this is for the best. Heidi will finally be safe away from me. She can return
*Cal*“What does this mean?” I want to know. I need to know. “What did you come here to talk to me about?”Heidi stares at me for a bit until she inhales sharply and turns her gaze to the ceiling. She is clearly uncomfortable with my questions, but I can’t move on not knowing what’s going through her mind.Does the fact that she came here to have sex with me in my office mean that she forgives me? That she’s willing to put everything behind us and start anew? That she belongs to me completely, no questions asked?Knowing her, I doubt that's what it means.But I need to hear her say it. I need to understand what she’s thinking. Otherwise, I might misinterpret all of it and ruin everything–again.“Heidi?” I call softly when she doesn’t answer me.She looks at me again, her beautiful, big eyes watching me intently. I push her hair out of her face, and lean forward to kiss her lips. It’s a soft kiss, but I try to convey all of my feelings for her through it.“I don’t know what this means,
*Cal*I spent most of the night and the morning trying to get something out of the cartel’s man I found lurking outside Heidi’s building. Anything useful at all that will help me put an end to all of this nonsense. The interrogation took several hours, and I was so fucking mad that I didn’t let any of my men deal with him even though I was exhausted. It was ugly, to say the least, and I split my knuckles multiple times as I tried to force some words out of his mouth. But in the end, I didn’t get much. The guy eventually murmured some addresses to me, but so far, my men only hit dead ends with the investigation on the De La Cruz cartel.At some point during the night, Tony showed up and helped me a little bit with the interrogation, and then he left, saying he would ask his men to start investigating as well.So far, I haven’t heard from him.The sun was rising in the sky by the time I came to my office. I sat down in my chair to clear my mind, hoping I could think about what I heard
*Heidi*“Are you sure you don’t need me to come with you to talk to this guy?” my grandfather offers for the millionth time in the past hour. “I’m positive I can convince him to sell me the shop at half the price he’s demanding.”I chuckle, shaking my head.“I’m good, Grandpa. If he doesn’t accept my offer, I’m sure I can find another great place somewhere else. As much as I love this one, I’m not willing to pay more than it is worth.”Grandpa nods, finally conceding.“Well, I have to get going,” I say, getting up from the chair. “You guys have to get ready for dinner, and I stayed for too long already. I don’t want them to forbid me to come visit you next time.”“They wouldn’t dare,” Grandma murmurs, standing and pulling me into a tight hug. It instantly makes me feel like I can fight the entire world. Her embrace charges my battery, and I feel renewed. Determined. Ready for whatever the world throws my way.“Thanks, Granny. I love you,” I tell her. Then I pull away from her to hug m
*Heidi*Despite my hopes that I would drop into a deep slumber and not wake at all during the night, my dreams were haunted by faceless men following Cal and I around town. Inevitably, one or the both of us got shot in each of my nightmares. In one of those dreams, these men get to my grandparents. That’s when I wake up sweating and unable to fall asleep again.I get up from bed and make some coffee before the sun is even up. After that, I grab my laptop and start searching for shops to buy again since my meeting with the owner of the Greenwich Village store yesterday wasn’t successful. The guy wasn’t willing to budge on lowering the price, and since I don’t even have the insurance money yet, I couldn’t commit to something I couldn’t afford.I spend the entire morning on real estate websites. However, none of them really stick out to me. I don’t particularly love anything I see, and by the time the clock strikes eleven in the morning, I’m tired of looking at the computer screen, my ey
*Heidi*As soon as Cal’s out the door, I’m left desolated, as if I’m drifting. My mind is numb, and I’m momentarily frozen in place, unsure of what to do. Nothing makes sense and, for a moment, I think I might be dreaming that all of this is just a weird fantasy, some sort of illusion I created in my head. How can Cal–this sweet, sexy, and kind human being–be a criminal?It’s absurd…Lifting up from the floor where I’ve been static for a couple of minutes, I walk toward the window, eager for some fresh air. I pull it open, breathing in the cold evening air. It feels like a wake up call, the wind brushing against my face, drying up the tears streaming down my cheeks.The night is so beautiful, the moon shining so bright up in the sky. It contrasts sharply with the chaos and the destruction that I feel within my heart. I’ve never felt this broken before in my life.Maybe when my parents died, yes, but I was too young to remember exactly what it felt like. But now that I’m mature enough,