*Cal*Normally, I’d hesitate before jumping through a curtain of flames. Even to save someone’s life. If it was one of my men in there, what would I do? I wouldn’t think twice before trying to save them.Why am I seriously considering letting that pretty girl die by herself, a victim of something she shouldn’t even be involved with in the first place?That thought seems to renew my determination, and finding a breach in the fire, I climb through the broken window and step inside the store, immediately covering my nose with my arm.The place is a fucking mess already, thick black smoke covering the tall shelves of books. I look around, frantically searching for the woman who was in this exact spot a few minutes ago. Did she manage to escape before the explosion? Did she even see it coming?The front door and the back door seem to be blocked, so I don’t see how she could’ve escaped in time to avoid the fire.I wish I knew her name so I could call for her, but when I was in here a few
*Heidi*I open my eyes, struggling to adjust to the bright, white walls and ceiling surrounding me. I have a major headache, my eyes sting, and I feel a tightness in my chest that makes it hard to breathe.I inhale sharply, and that makes me cough. A lot.My throat burns, and when I think I can’t handle it anymore, someone walks into my room, offering me a glass of water.There’s some sort of oxygen mask in the way, so I move it aside a bit and take the glass, gulping down the liquid, instantly feeling relief. “How are you feeling?” the kind nurse asks in a sweet voice.I cough a few more times and return the glass to her. She sets it on the table next to my bed.“My chest feels heavy, and I have this awful headache. My throat is also bothering me, but other than that, I feel okay,” I tell her.“That’s expected since you inhaled a lot of smoke. The doctor said you should recover soon, but you will need to spend the night in observation,” the nurse explains. That’s when my memory sta
*Cal*It’s been almost a week since the fire, and every day I’ve been coming and going to the bar, sitting in the same chair in the corner, just across from the window where I can watch the bookstore that is now just a pile of ashes and burned wood on the other side of the street.The police surrounded the place with yellow tape, which in my opinion serves no purpose; it only attracts more attention than the burnt out building already did by itself.New Year’s is around the corner, and ever since I saved that woman on Christmas Eve, I can’t make myself relax or move past the explosion. To say I’m pissed would be an understatement.My men still haven’t figured out who attacked us, and even though I have my own suspicions, I can’t act on instinct. I need proof to make a move. I can’t afford to make more enemies by blindly attacking in the name of revenge.Ever since that day, I haven’t heard from “Book girl”. Hell, I don’t even know if she survived. She hasn’t come to check on the shop
*Heidi*I wasn’t planning on barging through the bar door across the street when I left my aunt’s apartment this morning. My initial goal was to stop by the bookstore and see if there was anything I could do to make the insurance company just give us the money faster so we can start rebuilding it as soon as possible, or at the very least, relocate. They are taking so long to get back to us, to let us know what can and will be done to help us rebuild the store. I don’t even know if they will pay us or not. I know that the end of the year is slow and bad to get things done, and no one is really making an effort to solve things quickly. Not to mention that getting someone to rebuild an entire establishment during the holidays won’t be easy. If possible at all.That’s why I’m getting so worked up and anxious.Other than the fact that I lost everything. That’s why, as soon as my eyes fell on what used to be my grandfather’s biggest achievement in life, an anger I’ve never felt before was
*Cal*I have never been good with people crying.Let alone women.To have Heidi sobbing in front of me was not something I was expecting to have to deal with after seeing how fiery and determined she looked a minute ago.I don’t know how to react. I don’t know what to do to make her feel better.The way the tears are pooling in her beautiful eyes is enough to make me want to go after whoever did that to her store and just make them disappear from the earth once and for all.It’s absurd how simply watching her cry is making me visit emotions I’ve never felt before.She is trying to be strong, wiping the tears from her eyes aggressively, but one more look at me, and all her walls break down.I glance at Ian, who is now pretending he isn’t even here, and I consider what to do. I don’t want to invade her privacy or do something she might find disrespectful, but I feel like she needs comfort right now.And if I can do that for her, it might be worth a try.“Come on, let’s have a seat,” I s
*Heidi*I would never imagine Cal to be the type of man who is attentive and kind while looking so intimidating and cold on the outside. If anything, I imagined him as a grumpy, arrogant, stupid man who thinks he runs the world and that everything needs to be done according to his rules and demands.But barging into his bar and crying in front of him–even though it almost made me die of embarrassment–has proven to be somewhat worth it. I’ve never been the type of woman who was the object of desire for any man. I did have some boyfriends here and there while I was in college, but none of them ended up forming a serious relationship. And all of them eventually cheated on me. Good thing was that I was never in love with any of them, so I can’t say I suffered immensely. But it did some damage to my self-esteem. No man has piqued my interest after I graduated, and it’s been like that for years. But something in Cal makes me feel different. The way his eyes drink me in makes me feel like
*Cal*Heidi follows me as I take her to my office. We stroll across the hallway, heading for the last door on our right. Our footsteps are the only thing I can hear as I guide her, her tiny frame following me closely.I’m trying hard to ignore how good she smells. Her sweet perfume inebriates my senses and makes it hard for me to think clearly.And I have to figure out what I can do for her now that she finally seems willing to accept my help.Seeing how defensive Heidi can get has turned me on more than I’d like to admit, but I can’t say I don’t like it. Ever since she crossed the doorway of my bar, she’s done nothing but surprise me.She yelled, cried, stood defensively and suspiciously before me, showing multiple sides of her in less than an hour. Teasing and flirting with her felt good, but considering how different Heidi is from the women I’m used to dating, I need to be cautious. And more respectful than ever. The last thing I want is to scare her away.Her retorts only added fu
*Heidi*Cal takes me to his office, and I find myself slightly suspicious while at the same time, an anticipation builds within me that has everything to do with the fact that he’s taking me somewhere private to have a conversation.While we were talking at the bar, his barkeep pretended he wasn’t listening to us, but I’m sure he was.Now, we’ll be alone in his office, and that seems… weird. I’m not supposed to be feeling like this. Cal is everything I should keep myself away from in a man. He’s handsome, intimidating, sexy, flirtatious, not to mention he’s mysterious in a way that keeps me wanting to know more about him. If the novels I read have taught me anything, I should know better than to want to have any kind of relationship with Call. I know I came after him for help, but in my defense, I had no idea who he was. After I was already here and made a scene out of myself, demanding to talk to him, well… I couldn’t back down.I’m waiting in his office, admiring his decor and the
*Heidi*Cal drives us through the city, but I don’t recognize the path he’s taking until he stops in front of the exact same store in Greenwich Village that I had my eyes on for weeks when I was searching for a place to rebuild Sullivan’s Bookstore. At first, I frown, wondering what we’re doing here. It’s a tease, honestly. My heart beats fast when I look at the front window and realize it is no longer for sale. I don’t want to assume anything, so I turn to look at Cal, who has the biggest grin on his face. “What is this?” I ask, just to make sure I’m not crazy.After Cal was shot, I kind of set the idea of having a new bookstore aside. I focused on helping him recover, then having my things moved to his apartment, and after all of that was settled, I turned my attention to learning his businesses instead of going back to my own profession. I was frustrated and disappointed at everything failing in that department, so I simply ignored it.Until now.Seeing this store brings back all t
*Heidi*Two months later…Cal’s recovery wasn’t fast, but he did heal faster than the doctor thought he would. A couple of days after he was shot, he was allowed to be moved back to his apartment, which made it easier for me to take care of him. His place is close to everything, and I could come and go to grab groceries and also visit my grandparents every once in a while.Eventually, I had to tell them about Cal and that we were not only in love, but getting married, and they made me promise I’d take Cal to visit them. But Cal offered something else instead, and we all ended up going on a small trip so they could get to know each other.Needless to say, Grandma and Grandpa love him. They couldn’t stop smiling and were elated that I finally had someone to share my life with. I guess this is what they wanted the most for me.Adjusting to Cal’s apartment was also a struggle at first. I had few things to take with me since I didn’t buy a lot after the fire, but he basically forced me to
*Cal*Hearing those words from Heidi makes me wonder if I have truly died. Maybe all of this is a figment of my imagination. Maybe God is allowing me to live one last happy moment before I get to suffer for eternity in Hell.But there’s no way this perfect woman in front of me is an illusion. She looks so real. Her eyes–her beautiful eyes that I love so much–are staring at me so intently and expectantly that I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to.And she loves me.She’s willing to turn her back on everything she believes in to be with me. This is much more than I deserve. So much more.I realize I don’t want a day to go by that I don’t get to hear those words come out of her mouth.I want to spend every day telling her how much I love her, too. I don’t deserve her, but it will become my life’s mission to make sure she doesn’t regret her choice, that I shower her with love and attention, and that she knows how much she means to me. I am far from perfect, but I’ll try my best to be f
*Cal*My ears pick up murmurs around me, but I can’t force myself to open my eyes. My entire body is sore, and the pain in my abdomen feels like someone is pressing and squeezing all of my organs together. It’s hard to breathe, but I force my lungs to receive as much air as I can inhale. My back hurts, so I try to adjust myself on what feels like a bed, or maybe a couch, but the smallest movement makes me grunt with pain.“Easy there, boss. You have a hole in your stomach,” someone warns, their voice distant but somewhat playful. I groan again, frustrated at not being able to move. My eyelids seem to weigh a ton, but I need to see what’s happening around me. I need to know where I am and why. Images of the confrontation in my bar come back to me in snippets. I don’t remember the details about what happened, especially how I got shot, but I do remember seeing Milo. I have no idea how much time has passed, and I also don’t know the outcome of the fight, so I need to make sure my men a
*Heidi*I step out of the shower and put on a set of comfortable sweats. The weather in New York City has been merciless lately, and even inside the apartment, I can still feel the cold wind blowing against the windows outside, seeping through cracks in the apartment I can’t see.I blow dry my hair in an attempt to warm myself, and that’s why I don’t hear my phone ringing the first two times. It’s only when I decide to order something to eat since I don’t feel like cooking anything that I notice I missed two calls.Before I grab the phone to check who it is that called me, I can’t stop myself from hoping it was Cal. But when I spot the unknown number, I roll my eyes. Of course he wouldn’t call me. I ended that. He made it pretty clear that he doesn’t intend to change his lifestyle, and since I’m not willing to give up on my principles either, I won’t hear from him again. I should make peace with that instead of keeping my hopes up.I’m about to put my phone down again, not really int
*Cal*Leaving the basement and making sure at least one of my men stays behind to watch the cartel assholes we have tied inside, I rush upstairs with Tony, Sam, and Hunter with the rest of my men on my tail.Even though the noises upstairs are muffed by closed doors and thick walls, I don’t like what I hear as I approach the bar. Frantic screams and intermittent gunfire can never be a good thing.“Fuck,” I hiss to myself. “They seem to be heavily armed,” I inform my men over my shoulder. “Are you guys loaded?”“I have a couple of guns with me. Armando is outside with my men,” Tony informs me. I don’t want to think about the possible scenarios we’re about to encounter. The rest of my men are also upstairs, but if they were caught off guard–even though I had them keeping a close eye out for any strange movement–things might be ugly.“I’ll grab a shotgun from the safe,” Hunter tells me. “Do you need me to get you anything, Boss?”“No, I have my pistol on me,” I reply through gritted tee
*Heidi*Going after Cal was a mistake. I knew it would be, but I still did it anyway.What was I thinking? What was I even expecting to happen? That if I came and asked him to drop his entire life and career for me and he’d do it?Ha! What a joke.Even if I mean as much to him as he says I do, giving up something you’ve been building your whole life is hard. I should know better than that. I wouldn’t give up on my life and dreams either if he asked me to. So, why am I feeling so heartbroken? Why do I feel so sad, so left out?I storm out of his office with tears blurring my vision. His scent is all over me, and my lips are still tingling from our kisses. No matter how much I want to turn back and run into his arms, I know I can’t do it. This is it. This was the last straw, the confirmation I needed that we’re indeed over.For good.“Miss Heidi, is everything okay?” someone asked from behind me as I walked out of the bar. It was rude on my part to ignore whoever it was, but I couldn’
*Cal*Tony takes a little longer than I’d like with the cartel bastards the Saints captured. By the time his men haul in two guys who are, I’d say, unrecognizable, I’m basically digging a hole in the floor with all my anticipation and agitation, having spent the last hour pacing.The guy I cuffed in the basement looks up from his spot in the corner, and his eyes widen when he sees two more of his people have also been taken by us. He doesn’t have any strength in him to say anything, but he’s been pretty quiet anyway compared to some of the smart-mouthed assholes I’ve beaten the shit out before.“Hey,” Tony greets me, walking behind his guys who are now restraining the newly kidnapped men to chairs, away from the first one. “Brought you a little present.”I grunt. “After the day I just had, you have no idea how glad I am to see them,” I tell him, darting a deathly glance to the newcomers and cracking my knuckles.“I owe you already. I’m glad I could return the favor for once,” Tony say
*Cal*I consider going after Heidi. Following her upstairs, grabbing her by the arm, turning her to me and crashing my lips into hers, hoping she can feel how much I love her and how much I’m willing to fight for us.But that’d be a lie.And also unfair to her.Because if I truly was willing to do anything for her, I’d accept turning my back on the mafia and the Irish Kings without a question. I wouldn’t hesitate. I wouldn’t consider anything other than having her by my side.But I can’t.I can’t give her what she wants. I can’t promise her something I’m not ready to do. Therefore, I’d rather she hates me now, while she still has any feelings for me, then watch her fall out of love with me while we are together. That’d hurt me more than anything.Realization begins to sink in. We’re truly over now. There’s no turning back, no saving this relationship that’s barely even started. I try to convince myself that this is for the best. Heidi will finally be safe away from me. She can return