C4

THE BOY WHO DIED ON HIS GRADUATION DAY

“How do you know my name? “I asked a little suspiciously.

“I see a lot of people come through here, honey," he smiles at me.

I look at him with boredom.

“Don't call me honey, please," I cross my arms.

“Charlie, Sam... as you can see, she's here, dead, and she wants to know why.

“That's right," she looks at me, but no longer with that mischievous look, but with some sorrow and confusion as well. “You're here which means you're dead. Tell me, Sam, what happened before you woke up like this?

I remembered.

“Well, nothing, I've been at home all week because there was a lot of rain and no one was going out, yet I was lonely all that time. It was very cold to be like that.

“Since when?

“Tuesday, last week.

“So you've been feeling lonely, sad, a bit empty and there's a lot of rain? “she confirms, but it was more like a question.

“I think so.

“Did you have feelings of unreality all that time?

“Of course, I suffer from anxiety so I do have feelings of unreality.

“I understand. Sam, what you are telling me is that you were dead long before but you didn't know it, therefore your subconscious creates scenarios that were supposed to happen in your daily life.

I snorted.

“What? Is that possible?

“Of course. It's called denial syndrome. Your spirit doesn't accept that it's dead, in fact, it didn't even know it because you probably died in your sleep, not knowing anything, and when you woke up it was the same old routine.

“I think so “some things were starting to make sense.

“However, when a soul knows it will die or thinks it does, it begins to see things for what they are, without facades and false scenarios, which leads me to ask you if before today you thought maybe you were dead or wanted to be.

I remembered the night before, the ticking of the clock that wouldn't leave me alone, I was just thinking about whether I would be dead or something. But it was just such a vague thought, I even got messages from Jay.

“It can't be, yesterday I wondered if I was really dead and was living in a fantasy my mind had created. But they were just vague questions that vanished at the same time they came. I was even texting Jay yesterday.

“Who is Jay?

“Her boyfriend," Brandon answered for me.

“What a shame.

I gave him a dirty look.

“Maybe you wanted him to send that message, that's why your subconscious created him to send it. It's because you wanted to.

“I don't think so," I mumbled, "all I know is, I don't know if I hit myself in my sleep or if I fell out of bed and died instantly, all I know is that I woke up and started seeing dead people. I am a little scared and desperate because I don't know what I will do, will I just stay here all the time? In the same thing? Watching how people go on without me while I stay stuck in one place “what I said made me a little sad, but not only me, they felt it too because they were like that, stuck in one place, watching how their family goes on with their lives. “I'm sorry," I apologized for being insensitive. They have been here for years while I have been here for only a few hours and I am already in despair, while Charlie and Brandon are smiling in spite of everything or doing something to prevent others from dying a death as tragic as theirs.

“It's okay," Brandon tells me, "it's the truth, isn't it, Charlie?

“It's the truth," Charlie replies, "Well, any other questions you want to know? “But at that moment a bus passes by and Charlie turns, raises his hand and bids them goodbye.

“Why do you say goodbye to them if they can't see you? “I question.

“I don't give up hope. The prophecy says that at some point I will find the person who can see us but is alive. A lot will change when that happens. The damned will find peace. Lonely souls like the old man on the bridge will find solace.

“Boy will be fine, I think he found something to do," said Brandon.

“So if someone says hello back, you'll know it's that person," is what I understood.

“Exactly. I always knew it was you," he says.

“Me? Why me? “I pointed at myself.

“When you passed by here you always looked at a particular spot, as if wondering if someone would be there or something. Once you looked at me, or well, not but that's what I understood at the time.

“I've never seen a spirit in my life.

“I know.

Suddenly I heard a voice.

Sam, can you hear me?

“What? “I looked around.

“What about what? “asks Charlie.

“Didn't you hear that? “I ask.

“What is it? “Brandon asks.

“A voice," I answered, "a voice, calling me. It said Sam, can you hear me?

They both looked at me in surprise.

“Are you sure?

I nodded.

Sam, are you there?

The voice suddenly became clearer, until I understood who it was. It was Jay.

Jay!

“It's Jay," I said, "It's Jay! I'm listening to him, his voice, it's his voice.

“Wait, wait, you say you hear your boyfriend's voice?

I nodded.

They looked at each other.

“Linda, I think you should stop thinking about your boyfriend for a moment.

Your subconscious is creating the fantasy situations again. But they are not real. I think you should stop those thoughts and stop calling Jay with the thought. Maybe the guy is dreaming about you. It happens. It's quite normal. When a person needs you or wants to tell you something, they talk to you, with their heart, and tell you things. Like when you pray and pray to God, it's the same thing. You hear them because the words are directed especially to you.

I was discouraged, yes, but my heart compressed as I imagined Jay, trying to talk to me, trying to tell me things. I closed my eyes and tried to listen to him. I needed to hear his voice if only one last time. I needed to.

Sam, you don't know how much I miss you.

I brought a hand to my chest and got down on my knees.

“I miss you too.

I don't want to live in a world where you're not there, we had talked about it many times, remember? You always said you wanted to die first because you wouldn't want to be in a world where I wasn't there. It came true. But you didn't know that I would be shattered inside. I feel empty, needing you, what will I do without my Sam? My moon is not with me. I can't and won't live without you.

Why did he say those things, is he going to...? A crazy thought settled in my mind, a thought that filled me with fear but also gave me hope. If Jay died he could come with me. Be here together. But I wasn't selfish enough to condemn him to that.

Please, Sam, come back, I need you.

I opened my eyes and looked at the two boys who were looking at me pityingly.

“I need you to help me," I wiped a lone tear from my eye as I stood up, "It's Jay, I think he's going to do something... I need to stop him.

“What are you going to do when you're like this? “Brandon asks.

“I need to go to his house," I look at them.

“I can't move from my place," Charlie says, "I'm sorry.

“I'll go.

“Are you sure, Brandon? “Charlie looks at him worried.

“She needs me.

My heart squeezed when I heard that.

“I just want you to know that you can't intervene in death, please don't do it, it's too dangerous. And beware of the damned souls, they are always lurking.

“Thank you, Charlie," I said.

“We'll be back," Brandon says.

We crossed the road and started running. We had to get to Palm Springs as fast as possible before Jay did something crazy.

Just hang on, Jay, please hang on.