spark in the rain

The rain started pouring suddenly, like the cloud couldn't hold it anymore; it didn't even leave a sign that it was going to happen.

The water was dropping so heavily, and I stood drenched in the lobby, rainwater pooling around my feet as the storm outside seemed to seep into the very space around me, the sound of raindrops pounding against the roof and walls a deafening accompaniment to my own ragged breathing.

The water around my feet was so cold that I was starting to shiver, and my legs, exposed to the cold rainwater, made my body give a cold shock response, which started to make me have goosebumps, and the heavier the rain gets, the colder its water is.

The day was supposed to be quite a good day. But then there was him who is the actual determiner of it. In class today, he barely looked at me; his eyes kept scanning the whole room like i wasn't even there.

"Lily, why does that even bother you?" I asked myself.

His job is primarily to lecture us on philosophy, and philosophy only. It's normal for him to focus on everyone knowing is following or not. It shouldn't have bothered me—it was normal—it was professional, but it did.

I hate the whole of this, I hate the fact that it did bother me; i hate to the extent that it did, but I'm really bothered by it.

At this point, I can't even deny that I'm lost in it, I'm lost in him. I'm completely helpless and there's nothing I can't do to help.

I rarely fight back the feelings like I used to do because it really is, and the more I try to fight back the feelings, the more it shows its authenticity.

Even though he wasn't focused on me, I was still head over heels for him. The way he leaned against the podium, his smooth and commanding voice—it was impossible to ignore. When he rolled up his shirt sleeves, I was completely gone. And when his eyes met mine, it felt like he saw something he always wanted to.

I always tried to put an end to this attraction, but I guess it's beyond my power, I just cannot.

"I came here to learn, to prove myself—not to become some livestock over a man who didn't see me as anything more than a mere student," I said to myself.

It felt like I'm a loop, because I'm always repeating this cycle. Every time I thought I'd get home out of my head, something would pull him right back in—a memory, a fleeting glance, even the sound of his just might just play in my head again.

Sometimes it's not even just the excitement the attraction brings; it comes with guilt. He trusted me as a student, but I'm here fantasizing about every thing that crosses my mind.

I thought about everything very quickly. It made me forget the outside world and I only remember where I was after I managed to come out of my illusion.

The rain's still there, falling heavily. My feet are now very cold. I was contemplating if I should leave or wait longer.

It keeps getting heavier, and it looks like it wasn't coming to an end anytime soon. It's so cold.

The rain seemed endless, the cold getting more unbearable. I couldn't wait any longer, I just knew it had to leave.

I stepped out of the lobby and now into the heavy neverending rain, as soon as I was in it, the rain hit me like a ton of bricks.

The droplets feel like needles on my skin, stinging and cold. I blink rapidly, trying to clear my vision, but the rain is relentless.

My clothes are instantly soaked, clinging to my body like a cold, wet shroud. The fabric weighs me down, making every step feel like a struggle. My shoes squelch with each step, water seeping in and making my feet feel like ice.

The rain drums against my ears, a deafening roar that makes it hard to hear anything else. I feel disoriented, like I'm in a washing machine on a spin cycle.

My skin starts to prickle with goosebumps, and I can feel my body temperature dropping rapidly. My teeth chatter, and I wrap my arms around myself, trying to conserve what little body heat I have left.

I was already having a severe headache.

As I try to make my way through the downpour, the rainwater rises up my legs, swirling around my calves like a cold, grey mist. I stumble, my feet slipping on the slick pavement.

I'm soaked to the bone, shivering, and struggling to see or hear anything. All I can do is keep moving forward, because I just can't bear staying at where i was earlier, I'd probably have to just manage to scale through. Every step felt like I was sinking gradually.

I hugged my bag to my chest, and the water kept plastering on my face; my clothes clung to my body, every inch of me exposed beneath their weight. The cold kept piercing through me, but I kept moving.

Just then, the blinding glare of headlights suddenly cut through the rain, stopping my tracks. I couldn't hear the sound so the driver was probably moving very slowly. My heart leaped to my throat as I squinted, trying to see who it was.

I turned back to see a familiar sleek, black sedan roll to a stop just behind, its windshield wipers battling the relentless downpour.

The driver's window lowered, and there he was—Victor. His dark, deep voice reached me through the chaos of the storm.

His countenance felt like the rain was something planned by him. His face looks like it's filled with more of the satisfaction that his plan came to life than empathy for me. My crazy thoughts continued.

"Lily, get in," he projected.

For a moment, I couldn't move. My breath hung, my pulse causing a steady rhythmic vibration wildly as my eyes locked onto his.

"I—" I was startled, trying to say a word of disapproval, but no words came.

"Now," he amplified loudly.

I managed to take a step, then two, and more, staggering forward. The rain was hammering against my back.

I reached the car, grabbed the door handle, and pulled myself in, trying to minimize the amount of rainwater that would follow me into the car.

I slide into the passenger seat, trying to avoid getting the seat too wet. I'm aware that I'm dripping water everywhere, and I try to apologize, but my teeth are chattering too much to let any words out.

The heat of the car’s interior was suffocating, or maybe it was just him. The damp chill clung to me, but all I could feel was the warmth radiating from his presence. My soaked blouse was plastered to my skin, and I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling like it was some sort of shield of myself from his eyes—or maybe myself from him.

He made sure to make me make myself very comfortable before I saw him look at the interior mirror. He cleared his throat, his fingers flexing around the steering wheel as she was driving visibly slowly.

"Does he want us to spend forever in this car?" I said in my mind.

"I hope you are very comfortable like this," he cleared his throat and said.

I glanced sideways, watching his jaw tighten. My pulse quickened when his gaze flickered to me, dark eyes lingering on my face. That was when I realized what he actually meant.

"I didn't mean to..." My voice became very unsteady.

He exhaled sharply through his nose. "You're always doing it."

"Doing what?"

"Acting like you are completely perfect all alone and you need noone," he said, his voice low but steady.

The tension heightened, stretching between us like a taut wire. The rain hammered against the roof. I could feel his eyes on me again; when I turned my head, he still didn't look away.

I wanted to say something, at least something reasonable, but I didn't know what I could say.His hand shifted on the wheel as he focused back on the steering.

"You’re freezing," he said without any enthusiasm, like I wasn't the one he was talking to.

He was starting to sound like a sweet, strict man, or maybe someone who realized he's too sweet, so he's trying to act strict.

Before I could respond, he stretched to the other front seat, grabbed a jacket from the back seat, and handed it to me without looking, the rough brush of his fingers against mine sending a jolt up my arm.

"Thanks," I murmured, clutching the jacket to my chest.The silence returned, heavier now, filled with everything we weren’t saying. My heart pounded so loudly I was sure he could hear it.

The car pulled to a stop outside my building, the rain still pouring in sheets. I didn’t move. Neither did he.

"Lily," he said, my name a whisper that felt like a command.

I turned to him, my breath catching when I saw the way he was looking at me. His eyes were dark, unreadable, but it felt like there was something there—something I didn’t dare name.

He leaned forward, just slightly, and I felt the air shift between us. My hand gripped the jacket tighter, the damp fabric pressing against my chest as my pulse thundered in my ears.

And then, just as quickly, he placed his hand on my right shoulder.

"Oh my gosh, did he just...?! His hand on my shoulder! It's like a jolt of electricity just ran through my entire body. I feel like I'm melting into his touch. I felt warm and safe.

"Go inside," he said, his voice tight. "Before you get sicker, make sure you take good care of yourself; you've had a long day already."

I hesitated, searching his face for something—a clue—anything—but it was closed off, his expression was very unreadable

"Goodnight, Victor," I whispered, my voice barely audible over the rain.

He only noticed, but his eyes followed me as I stepped out into the storm, the rain washing over me again as I hurried inside.

Once I was safe behind the door, I turned back to see his car still there, his headlights cutting through the downpour. And then, he drove off, leaving me standing there with my heart racing and my mind spinning.

But..., could he?