Kabanata 1: Apologize

"We'll have a short quiz tomorrow so better be prepared. That's all and good bye." I said as I ended my first class in the morning.

Inaayos ko ang gamit ko habang nagsisi-alisan ang mga estudyante para pumunta sa kanilang susunod na klase. Just as I thought there is no one left inside the room, I sighed deeply then sit down on my chair.

Nakayuko ako habang tinitingnan ang kanina ko pang matigas na pagkalalaki dahil sa Eliyah Cruz na 'yon. Damn, hindi ko naman alam na isa pala siya sa mga magiging estudyante ko...

Napataas ang aking ulo ng may marinig na galaw ng upuan sa harap. Pagtingin ko roon ay...Eliyah Cruz is still there! She's seductively looking at me while biting her lower lip.

"Problematic so much, Sir?" Nakangisi niyang tanong.

Kinunot ko ang noo ko habang palapit siya nang palapit.

Get out of this fucking room already, Rex. Save yourself!

Pero tila hindi marunong makinig ang inner self ko dahil imbes na lumayo sa tukso ay nanatili lamang akong naka-upo roon, pinapanood ang babaeng nakakapagpatibok sa puso ko nang mabilis.

"W-Why are you still here, Ms. Cruz?" I tried to sound professional, as I should.

Humalakhak siya. Ang kanyang matamis na tawa ay bumalot sa buong room na iyon na nagpadagdag sa matinding pagnanasang aking nararamdaman.

This is wrong, Rex! Cage yourself!

"I'm studying here, Professor Rex Montello."

Madiin ang kanyang pagkakabigkas sa aking pangalan.

You already have a wife, Montello. Don't you ever think cheating on her! Even if you don't love her, do not cheat!

Pauli-ulit ko iyong sinabi sa sarili ko upang mapigilan ang kagustuhan kong hagkan na lamang ang babaeng nasa harap ko rito. My heart is beating fast as I watch Eliyah lowered her head on me. Hindi ako umatras o gumalaw man lang. I'm too stiffed to move.

"Do you remember me, my lovely Professor?" She then bit her lower lip.

Huminga ako nang malalim at tumayo upang lumayo sa kanya. "I'm now married, Ms. Cruz. What happened to us doesn't have any meaning at all. It was just sex....so please..."

Pansin ko ang pagkakapahiya sa kanyang mukha. Her face was flushed and red, looking so embarass. Halata ko rin ang pagka-irita niya na agad niyang tinago sa isang ngisi.

"Oh really? Who's the lucky girl, then?"

"You don't need to know--"

She smirked playfully. "Kasi wala naman talaga?"

"I don't care if you don't believe me. Now, will you please stop?"

Her eyes are wide, with her jaw clenched. It seems like what I said triggered something in her. I can feel and see the blazing fire in her eyes as she look at me. Nakakunot ang noo ko babang tinitingnan siya.

Nagulat ako nang agaran niyang kinuha ang lahat ng gamit niya at agad lumabas ng room.

Is she jealous?

Nang matapos ang klase ko sa buong araw ay nagkayayaan ang mga kaibigan kong mag-celebrate para sa kasal ko. Ayaw ko sanang pumunta pero dahil mapilit sila ay pinaunlakan ko na lang din.

Shennun is always asking me things and updating me everything about her life. I actually don't care but I know I have to be kind and sweet and caring to her even if it doesn't come from the heart. Nagre-reply din naman ako sa mga messages niya ngunit hindi ko maiwasang mairita sa paulit-ulit niyang tanong. Kaya minsan, I would just ignore her.

"I didn't know you'll be the first one to marry, Montello! HAHAH" isa sa mga kaibigan ko.

We are in a bar here in Poblacion, celebrating my 'so-called successful marriage'.

"May pakiramdam akong ikaw na ang susunod, Eliot!" Tinawanan ko ang sinabi ni Elias.

"Balita ko nagkakamabutihan na raw kayo ni Ms. Mendez?" Ethan asked.

"Ms. Mendez?" Napakunot ang noo ko dahil ngayon ko lang narinig ang pangalang iyon at wala namang nababanggit sa akin si Eliot tungkol doon?

Elias smirked. "Yeah, Eliot is now a sugar daddy."

Binato ng panyo ni Eliot si Elias dahilan para mapuno ng tawanan ang buong lamesa namin.

"Kamusta ang buhay mag-asawa?" Real changes the topic.

I really don't know what to say. I couldn't say I'm happy because definitely, I am not. Kaya hindi ko alam kung ano ba dapat ang sabihin.

"Pinagbabawalan ka na ba?"

"Baka hindi ka na makatikim ng ibang putahe niyan?"

"Gago," I said to Elias. "Well, she's nice and pretty but..."

"She's not your type?" Si Real ang tumapos ng hindi ko magawang sabihin.

I don't really have any types. Lahat pasado sa akin basta maganda, sexy, at magaling sa...kama. I just can't understand myself why that Eliyah girl has been complicating my life?

I should be happy and contented with my wife, Shennun, right? I mean she's beautiful and sexy too, why can't I push myself to like her? Or even tried a relationship wiith her? And why do I feel like it's Eliyah whom my body wants?

Napalunok ako nang hindi ko talaga maalis sa isipan ko ang babaeng yun. Everything that has happened in the room earlier came back in my mind. How she looks at seductively and how she winked at me.

"Natulala?"

"Baka in love?" All of them laughed.

Napalingon ako sa mga kaibigan kong kanina pa pala ako tintingnan.

I smirked at them. "Ako? Mai-in love? No way,"

Real then pointed my phone. "Seems like somebody is texting you."

Naghiyawan na naman ang mga baliw kong kaibigan. Inilingan ko na lamang sila bago tiningnan kung sino ang nag-text. Shennun's name flashed on the screen of my phone

From Shennun;

Love, what time are you going home? Your dinner is prepared(^^)

I cringed with the endearment she sent me. Love? What the heck? Kadiri?

I then remembered that this was also the endearment I called Eliyah the time I fucked her. I smirked ar my thought.

"Pare, nababaliw na ata talaga siya,"

"Gago," binatukan ko ang katabi kong si Eliot.

Nagpatuloy ang inuman namin at kwentuhan hanggang sa sumapit ang hatinggabi. We decided to cut off our celebration so we went to our own cars to now go home.

I closed my eyes when I entered my car. Isinandal ko ang aking ulo sa likod ng aking upuan nang biglang may kumalabit sa akin sa likod!

I suddenly looked at the back seat and unexpectedly, I saw Eliyah Cruz! Sitting at my back seat with her smirk, plastered on her face!

"Ano'ng ginagawa mo rito?!"

Hindi ko napigilan ang sumigaw because of fear! I am not scared of the thought that maybe she'd kill me but the thought that maybe she'd...seduce me! And I am more scared that maybe I'd be willingly to offer myself to her!

Damn, Rex!

Shw yawned widely, not minding if I'm staring at her or not. "Sorry, ah? Nakatulog kasi ako eh," she smirked.

Nakakunot ang noo ko sa kanya. I don't believe her. Nakatulog? Here? Inside my car? Why would you even sleep on a car that's not yours?

I clenched my jaw when something came in my mind. Paano kung iba ang may-ari ng sasakyang ito? What if she sleeps on a car owned by a rapist or an addict? She could be raped! Or worst she could be killed!

It's making me insane and angry as fuck!

"Leave. Now." I demanded.

"Uuwi ka na, Prof?"

"Stop calling me that," I hate it when she calls me Prof.

"Bakit naman? Eh Professor naman talaga kita?"

Huminga ako nang malalim at pinikit ang aking mga mata nang mariin, trying to stop myself from being harshed to her.

"Just please. Just stop and leave. I'm now going home."

"Ow? Uwi ba 'yan ng isang pamilyadong lalaki? Kawawa naman pala ang babaeng naikasal sa'yo kung ganoon?"

"Why do you even care about my life, huh?"

"Wala naman talaga akong pake," Ikinibit niya ang kanyang mga balikat habang ang ngiti niya ay nasa mga labi niya pa rin. "I just thought that if I were your wife, I won't let any other woman have a taste on you...moreover, have a taste on these lips."

Hinawakan niya ang aking mga labi at hindi ko man lang nailayo ang aking sarili para pigilan siya. I just stayed there, anticipating her warm touch.

She smiled widely at me. "Prof, una na ako ah? See you tomorrow sa quiz, Prof!"

She then went out of my car. Napalunok ako at napahawak sa aking mga labi. A smirk suddenly formed out of my lips.

Tumikhim ako upang tanggalin ang ngiting iyon. This is forbidden. What I'm doing is a type of cheating.

Napalunok ako nang kahit na alam ko naman na na mali ito, hindi ko pa rin magawang pigilan...because I know...that I am now doomed.

I drove away that place to go home. Pagkarating ay pansin kong nakapatay na ang lahat ng ilaw sa sala at kusina. It's dark so I used my phone as a flaslight. Agad akong nagtungo sa kwarto namin ni Shennun upang makapagbihis at makapagpahinga na rin.

Dumeretso ako sa banyo at agad naglinis. I just wore a sando and short shorts. I used to sleep naked but...I have to change everything now that I am now married.

Pagkalabas ng banyo ay nakita kong tulog na rin si Shennun. By just looking at her, I suddenly feel guilty.

I still haven't do anything, right? So I shouldn't feel guilty, hmm? Yeah right, I shouldn't feel guilty.

Sumalampak ako sa aming kama at hindi ko napansin na gising pala si Shennun. She smirked at me then hugged me...tightly.

Napalunok ako nang ramdam kong tila mali ito. I feel like I am cheating. I don't know to whom I am cheating on but...I just suddenly feel it.

"Your dinner is ready, love." She then kissed my lips.

Nakahawak na siya ngayon sa aking dibdib habang patuloy sa paghalik sa aking labi.

Maybe I should give it a try? Maybe if I have sex with my wife...I would finally forget Eliya?

I held her arms then kissed her back. I returned her kisses more aggressively and roughly...but I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel any excitement at all. I just...feel nothing.

She moaned when I bit her lip then entered my tongue inside. Nakakunot ang noo ko babang patuloy kami sa halikan namin. Pilit kong hinahanap sa kanya ang mga bagay na naramdaman ko noon kay Eliyah pero wala. Kahit anong gawin ko ay wala.

After a minute of kissing, I stopped. Inilayo ko siya nang kaunti sa akin bago tumingin sa kanya gamit ang matang humihingi ng tawad.

"I'm sorry, I'm tired. Next time na lang..."

Pansin ko ang pagkabitin at lungkot sa mukha niya pero walang nagawa kung hindi ang bumalik sa dati niyang pwesto.

That night, I suddenly want morning to come quickly...because I want to apologize to Eliyah...I don't know why but...I feel like I should apologize to her.